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Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Riho

Meh, I've seen better....

AEW Dark: March 16, 2021: -Big Swole def. Emi Sakura -Team Taz (Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs) def. Bad Romance (Joey Janela and Sonny Kiss) -Matt Sydal def. Brian Pillman Jr. -Luchasaurus def. Jake Hager -Colt Cabana def. Christopher Daniels

Gonna need some details as to why Bad Romance has that name. Did they both have Lady Gaga at some point in their lives?

AEW Dynamite: March 17, 2021 Segment 1: Over the weekend, it was announced that Rey Fenix, who is a member of Death Triangle with PAC and teamed with Jon Moxley in a Tables match at Revolution was selected to be a part of their team at War Games Blood and Guts. Tonight they faced off against Santana and Ortiz of the Inner Circle. These two teams really tore the house down to open the show. Many probably expected this to be a showcase match for the face team, but experience ended up winning out as Mox found himself thrown out of the ring leaving Fenix prey for the Street Sweeper as Santana and Ortiz score one of their biggest wins in AEW! ****1/4, 88% overall

That's how you open a show! But really, is the Blood and Guts thing just War Games with a different paint job? How are they getting away with that? I mean Cody and Dustin are certainly heirs to whatever Dusty Rhodes ever created but doesn't the WWE essentially own everything?

Segment 2: After the match, an unlikely trio made down to the ring: Kenny Omega, Eddie Kingston, and Brian Cage. These three are all from different corners of AEW - Kenny is the World Champion with Impact talents (Don Callis and The Good Brothers) watching his back, Kingston leads The Family, and Brian Cage is the heavy hitter of Team Taz. But they're all putting their differences aside temporarily as they've been drafted into battle on the same team at Blood and Guts. Santana and Ortiz are from yet another faction in The Inner Circle, but seeing how they just put down two guys from the face team, they want Santana and Ortiz to get the final two spots on the heel Blood and Guts team. Santana and Ortiz look at each other, smirk, then pull out a madball and start beating down their opponents with it! I suppose that's a painful way of saying yes. 85% overall

But whose side is Sting on?!?!? Oh, wait, I'm having a flashback...

Segment 3: A continuation of the Jurassic Express vs. FTR/Spears angle with Spears making his singles in-ring return against the diminutive Marko Stunt. Unfortunately, I feared these dudes would be sent out to die after that opener and that's exactly what happened, tough to balance out a card in EWR. Anyway, crowd was still fired up from the opener but with FTR and Jurassic Express getting in each others' business on the outside, Spears puts Marko down with the C4 (a running Death Valley Driver, which I imagine Marko would be able to sell like death). **1/2, 63% overall

Yeah, that moment when you book a hell of a match between competitors who are over as fuck immediately before some scrubs. The game will give the middle finger to stats in this regard and will only care about how over your guys are. So sticking a bunch of guys in their forties right after a bunch of guys in their mid-eighties to nineties is just asking for a let down. I try to keep anybody lower than seventy in the first few matches. Also, booking angles and interviews in between will not help mitigate the problem.

Segment 4: Chris Jericho and MJF are backstage. With tensions rising in the Inner Circle, MJF feels like Santana and Ortiz might be upstaging the group by going into the Blood and Guts match. So if they're gonna go big, so should they - he wants the Young Bucks again at Blood and Guts. Jericho, not wanting to be upstaged himself, takes it a step further - if the Inner Circle can't bring home the belts, they'll go their separate ways. GASP! 91% overall

I smell dramz!!!

Segment 5: AEW Women's World Champion Awesome Kong is in action tonight, and another big size differential in this one going up against inaugural Women's champion Riho. I've seen Riho work really good size mismatches against Nyla Rose so I imagine this would be good in real life too, and it was a real solid match in game. Alas, Riho threw everything in her 5'1" frame at Kong but it was not enough as an Awesome Bomb folds her up like a lawn chair for the win. Kong grabs a pair of scissors and seems content to humiliate Riho and take a memento...but CRACK! Shida's singapore cane connects and Kong goes down! Shida aids her friend and this business with Kong is still not over. **3/4, 73% overall

Is that 'haircut-as-a-memento' thing real? I've always wanted to see something like that and I don't think it's ever been implemented. It totally fits Kong.

Segment 6: Cody Rhodes backstage with Darby Allin. Darby and Cody had numerous wars with one another throughout AEW's 2 year history, and Darby's also fought and teamed with Moxley on many occasions. Darby is a guy Cody wants to go to war with, and now that Brian Cage is on the other team, that's all Darby needed to accept the gig. Darby Allin is in for Blood and Guts, and the two cut a promo on their current rivals (Kingston and Page). 80% overall...Cody has very high charisma but Darby's 72 charisma wore it down, ah well, I was running out of segments

You're a braver man than I am. I never stick a person with less than 85 charisma in an interview segment unless accompanied by a manager. Like you put it, sort of, work with what you got.

Segment 7: We have a rematch from Revolution with Orange Cassidy and Miro resuming their unfinished business. I imagine the match was certainly not PPV length, but the intensity was still there and they got through what they needed to and had a nearly identical rated match. Orange got fired up, looked like he'd rally and grab the win only for "Superbad" Kip Sabian to come out of nowhere and hold Orange's foot at ringside. The distraction was all that was needed to give Miro time to sneak up for a Sambo suplex and the win. ***, 82% overall

These guys work pretty well together, I've noticed. Their stats have to be pretty boss, no?

Segment 8: The Young Bucks due battle against Matt Hardy and his reluctant partner, Hangman Adam Page. Between their overness and talent it seems damn near impossible for the Bucks to not have a 4 star match at this point...and it was no different here. Lot of high octane work with Page and the Bucks. Matt Hardy trying to cheat wherever possible. Ref bump leads to Matt Hardy going out and getting a chair, but Page won't let Matt use it. They have a tug of war over the chair, which Hardy wins only to turn into a Superkick Party into the chair. The ref comes to and Matt Hardy is pinned. The Bucks win, Page just shakes his head. Bucks can't celebrate for long as here comes Jericho and MJF to jump them as the two teams brawl out of the arena. ****1/4, 90% overall

Ugh, Page being a dumbass AGAIN! Matt just needed to sit down and take a breather for a bit.

Segment 9: As Matt Hardy recovers from having a chair Superkicked into his face, he tries to regain his composure and address Page. He knows Hangman is trying to do the honorable thing, but getting on your high horse only gets you so far in this business. That is why he needs the guidance that the Matt Hardy brand can provide. He pulls out the contract again from last week and implores Hangman to sign. Hangman looks conflicted, looks back and forth to the audience chanting "NO!" before ripping the contract up! Matt is beside himself! Private Party sneak into the ring and blindside Page. They hit him with the Gin and Juice! The Hardy Party have left Hangman laying. 90% overall

No, no, I'm as shocked as you are. Being a dumbass only grants you so much mercy, Page.

Segment 10: The scheduled tag match main event pitting PAC and Darby Allin vs. Brian Cage and Ricky Starks of Team Taz took on even more meaning now that Darby is officially in for Blood and Guts. This was a step down from the last match, but thankfully not enough to be punished with the fans being burned out or anything. Given that Starks is the only one of the four not in the Blood and Guts main event, I think we know who is eating the pin. Darby and Cage are off fighting at ringside while PAC pins Starks after the Black Arrow. ***, 77% overall

Solid, logical booking here. Black Arrow is a DC villain, right?

Segment 11: Has it been made clear yet that I love a good belt shot? Such an easy way to add heat to an angle. Anyway that's what happens here with Kenny cutting PAC's celebration short, blasting him with the World Title. Officially, that's all that was booked for this segment in EWR. But in imagination land, Darby and Cage spill back into the ring and eventually Mox/Fenix/Cody/Kingston/Santana/Ortiz all come out in various groups and we have both teams duking it out to put over the mayhem of Blood and Guts. 85% overall

*GASP* You said 'belt' again!!! VINCE MCMAHON CURSES YOU!!!

I should probably think long and hard about trimming my roster down so that I'm focused on a select few people, kind of like what you're doing but I have such good talent that no one else deserves.