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Raw - September 3, 2040

We open with a, um, rather unfamiliar face. This is a rather tall and beefy gentlemen walking down to the ring with no music. But wait; HE'S CARRYING THE MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE!!! That's Brandon Reigns's briefcase that got tossed into the crowd by Seth Von Kamp! Who is this guy and why does he have it? He enters the ring and gets a mic and proceeds to introduce himself.

"Apologies all around! I'm sorry for holding up the show in this manner but you all have to understand something; this has been a dream of mine for the longest time! I'VE MADE IT TO THE WWE! Forgive me, I'm getting ahead of myself. You can call me 'Big Thunder' Eddy Clash and I am here to make my mark on the industry. What I'm holding in my hand is my ticket into the company. I'm holding the Money in the Bank briefcase which grants its possessor a shot at the WWE Unified World Title whenever they want! You might be asking yourself how I got my grubby little paws on such a prize. Well, I was in the crowd at SmackDown! last week, enjoying the show, when Seth Von Kamp tossed the briefcase into the audience! I was lucky enough to be able to catch it and leave the show with it. You see, I took this as a sign. A sign to take that huge step into the spotlight and follow my dreams. I will be cashing in this contract and I will become the NEW Unified World Champion!"

Let's pump the brakes on all of this as Brandon Reigns decides to make himself known. He enters the ring to confront this apparent newcomer and makes his demands known. "Listen, I don't know who you are. I don't care who you are. Bottom line is I am the Money in the Bank winner. That's MY briefcase you're holding. That's MY title shot you're asking for. Alright? I don't have the time nor the patience for this nonsense. I'm already nursing a headache 10 miles wide having to watch Seth Von Kamp parade around with the Intercontinental Title and it only got worse when I had to watch him throw my briefcase to an idiot like you!"

"Woah, woah, let's just all calm down here. Look, possession is 9/10ths of the law, you know? The way I see it, I cash in this bad boy, I beat Noah Carmichael or whoever, and then I'm on top of the world! Then I can give you a title shot! It's win-win all around!"

"Look, Eddy, is it? You are being asked, relatively nicely if I do say so myself, by a 4-time Intercontinental Champion, a man who's retired some of the top names in this business, to do the right thing and return my property. This isn't a game. This isn't play pretend. Hand over the case...NOW."

"I don't know, man. If you were that attached to it, maybe you wouldn't have let Seth take it from you in the first place. I mean, the same could be said about the Intercontinental Championship!"

"Hey, hey! I can get back the Intercontinental Title from that poser ANY TIME I WANT. I can take that briefcase from you any time that I want, too! I just figured I tried playing things nice with a delusional moron like you! But if you're going to keep this charade up, I'll let you know first hand what you'll be getting into should you ever make it into the WWE!"

With that, Reigns tries to assault Clash but the newbie has a clear size advantage and overpowers Reigns. Clash tosses Reigns around a bit and clotheslines the former Intercontinental Champion over the top rope. Clash takes his leave while Reigns is dazed on the outside AND TAKES THE BRIEFCASE WITH HIM! Reigns continues to be the man without a belt or a contract.

Backstage Paul Andrews is walking down the hallway when he bumps into one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, Rick Hilton. Hilton demands that Andrews watch where he's going. Hilton questions what Andrews is even doing here. Practically all of his clients have been run out of town. Maybe Andrews should take it as a sign that his management career isn't up to snuff unlike some other managers in the company right now. Take Vivian Merrick for instance. Not only is she one fine woman in the physical sense, but also in the intellectual sense. She knows what makes a great team to be the champions. Paul Andrews counters that he was actually just leaving Lisa Benton's office talking about a couple of prospects that Andrews has had his eye on for a while and that he'd like to bring in. Andrews also knows what makes a great team capable of becoming champions.

First Match: WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Future Foundation vs. Caleb Greene and Stanley Coleman
Rick Hilton looks like he's trying to shake off what he was told by Paul Andrews in the last segment. There are certainly a lot of teams gunning for the Future Foundation. This is mainly a showcase for the champions to demonstrate their dominance in the division. Vivian Merrick once again pulls her weight by distracting Coleman and Julian takes advantage by nailing the Black Sheep to score the pin. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage we're joined by Martyn LaSalle and the returning Jordan Demiras. Demiras notes that this is the first time we're getting to hear from him since coming back but he asks for forgiveness because quite frankly he hasn't really been in a talkative mood as of late. See, unlike Michael Hotbody and that dysfunctional group of clowns that he calls his back-up, Demiras and LaSalle aren't about talk. They're not about looking for any little path possible to get out of a fight. Well, the fight is coming whether Hotbody and his cronies like it or not. You think something like assault with a cage door is going to be forgotten? Hotbody didn't just rob Demiras of the Cruiserweight Title or his pride. He robbed his livelihood. LaSalle adds his two cents by warning Galino & Farnes to stay out of the way.

To the ring we go as Eclypse and the WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey want to speak their minds. Naomi wants to let the Lonely Girls know that the honeymoon is over. They had their feelgood moment and they got the publicity and the pomp and circumstance and all of that vomit-inducing egostroking. It's back to the real world time for those two dolls! Eclypse talks about what the Lonely Girls did at SummerSlam was admirable but it was just one night. Eclypse is willing to swallow her pride and team with Naomi one more time to get one more crack at the belts IF the champions aren't scared. Naomi seems taken back by Eclypse's comment and asks what Eclypse means by 'swallowing her pride'? Eclypse reminds Naomi about the arrangement they had when Naomi approached her with the idea of going for the Women's Tag Team Titles. All Naomi had to do was make sure Eclypse didn't regret it; and quite frankly, Naomi dropped the ball at SummerSlam. Naomi gets even more flustered and upset and fires back. "Oh, so I'M the weak link in this little 'arrangement'? Remember this, Eclypse: I'm still the God damn Women's Champion. I am NEVER the weak link!"

Cue the Lonely Girls interrupting this tense moment. The Women's Tag Team Champions seem amused at what they're witnessing. Jenna has a mic and addresses Naomi. "Why, yes, Naomi; you are STILL the Women's Champion. Even though you LOST when I pinned you at SummerSlam and we became the champions, you STILL kept your belt. Kind of like 2 weeks ago when you also LOST when I faced you for the Women's Title and yet you STILL kept your belt. That's a little weird, huh, Faith?"

"Kind of unfair, too."

"Yeah, definitely unfair. So here's what we were thinking. The two of you have been looking for another go at us for these championships, right? Well, we're nothing if not fighting champions. So we'll grant you a title shot under one condition. Naomi, you first have to give me another shot at your Women's Title, this Thursday on Superstars. And if you can win, you'll get your rematch. If you lose, though, you don't get anything! What do you say?"

Naomi looks offended at this request. "Give YOU a shot at MY title??? Why would I do that? You don't deser...."

"You got a deal!" Eclypse interrupts.

"Great!" Jenna exclaims. "See you all Thursday!" The segment ends as the champions take their leave and Naomi and Eclypse exchange death stares.

Second Match: The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones vs. The Play Pals
Hotbody has words for Gavin Jones. Gavin Jones thinks he's so special because he happened to get lucky and eliminate Hotbody from that tag team battle royal a while back! Well the truth is Hotbody just slipped and lost his grip on the top rope! It can get really sweaty in this ring sometimes, ESPECIALLY when it's dripping with the awesome sex appeal of Michael Hotbody and Luscious! And that's really what everyone needs to take away from all of the drama: the truth! Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle don't want to face the truth so they'll be forced to face it one way or another! Hotbody will once again demonstrate tonight how he is one of the last bastions of integrity in the WWE. So we get a kick ass match from these guys, mainly due to the Play Pals' standing. Oh, and also because their feud with The Royal Effect keeps on trucking as King Kavovit is joined by the returning Moses McKay and they decide to cost the Play Pals the match. Gavin gets murdered with chairshots and Michael Hotbody demonstrates integrity by alerting the referee...that he's got a pin attempt on Gavin. 1-2-3, Hotbody and Zed pick up the win thanks to the feud NEEDING TO CONTINUE! The Play Pals get destroyed afterwards. *****, 95% overall.

Third Match: Clubber Harris vs. Ronnie Costello
I really need to do more with Harris. I don't want to waste his face turn. So I'll give him a win here. Costello gets crushed by the Club Pain and Harris gets the duke. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Backstage Lisa Benton is joined by Sophie Waters in her office. Sophie asks Lisa about how the last few months have been, dealing with Michael Hotbody and all of his stupidity. Lisa admits that it's taken it's toll but she's managing. Sophie wonders why Lisa didn't come to her to solve this problem. Sophie is managing the hottest cruiserweight in the division right now, Shawn Dangerson! Shawn could have handled that moron a long time ago. Lisa appreciates that but Sophie is as good a friend as Riott is. Lisa can't be seen making decisions that would appear to be playing favorites. Sophie counters that Shawn has been on a roll. Even with the two of them being friends, no sane person can look at Shawn's record and say he hasn't earned an opportunity. Lisa still isn't sure but she will consider Shawn for an idea that she has that will determine a number one contender for the Cruiserweight Title. Sophie seems cool with that and takes her leave.

Fourth Match: The Pacific Connection vs. The Glitz Girls
Yeah, jockey for that position, ladies....Erm, I mean, this is some solid shit we got going here in the women's tag division. The heels aren't quite in the same league as the Glitz Girls so Mika suffers a Jam Session from Lzzy and the faces pick up the win. ****1/4, 85% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with Ozzy Mandias. He's out here because with all of the talks about who is going to be next to get a shot at Michael Hotbody's Cruiserweight Title, he doesn't want to be overlooked. This has been the year of the rookie as tons of people in their first year here have made huge impacts and Ozzy wants to be able to say the same. All well and good but another rookie has other ideas as the returning Ziggy Styles comes into the ring behind Ozzy and lays him out. Styles isn't done and hits the Thing-ama-Zig! Ziggy demands that we all get Ziggy with it!

MAIN EVENT: Salvatore Scabbia and The Academy vs. Ryan Pattillo and The Dillingers
Brooke is with her boys and she informs us that Noah Carmichael still hasn't given Lisa Benton the all clear. Salvatore Scabbia is getting impatient and he's not going to wait forever. Carmichael needs to hurry up and step into the ring or just forfeit the title to Scabbia! It's hard to argue with Brooke as Scabbia leads his team with a dominating outing. The faces pull out a last ditch comeback and it's BONZO GONZO but Brooke has too much riding on this. Scabbia is alone with Ben Dillinger and Brooke works her magic allowing Scabbia to lock in the Omerta for the submission win. Scabbia motions to the camera that he wants the belts! ****1/2, 90% overall.

Overall show rating: 88%