First Round:
* TM61 beat Sabbatelli & Moss with Will-O-Wisp (I had to do some PokeResearch on that one).
* Aries & Strong beat Bogojevic & Knight, because fuck typing "Bogojevic" again.
* Itami & Ibushi beat Dorado & Ali when the Japanese shoot eye-lasers right through Dorado and make Ali explode.
* Sanity defeat Roode & Dillinger because Roode is too glorious to put his arms down and accept a tag from Dillinger.
* Authors of Pain defeat Bollywood Boyz when Harv and Gurv dance into each other, knocking themselves out.
* No Way Jose & Rich Swann prove too hot to handle when they melt part of the ring, and Gulak, being the ground-based technician he is, can't lift his feet and falls into the molten good.
* The Revival throw Almas & Alexander their belts, which prove to be too heavy, crashing Almas & Alexander through the ring and they are counted out.
* Gargano & Ciampa defeat Wang & Lun and they all hug for eight minutes and talk about how wonderful China is and how that was Bin Wang's first televised match and he will be a huge star. In China, a special announcement is played that Bin Wang & HoHo Lun have won the entire tournament because all the other teams have withdrawn out of fear.
Second First Round:
* TM61 get phone calls from Australia, which urges them to show everybody at ringside how they chose their name. Aries & Strong then throw Fosters cans out of the ring, which distracts the Australians long enough for them to get counted out.
* Sanity purposefully get themselves disqualified against Itami & Ibushi. "What is going on?!?" asks Graves & Phillips. It is because they cannot stand Christmas decorations being in the shops this early, and blames Japan for their advanced consumer culture.
* No Way Jose & Rich Swann try their "boogie down meltdown" technique again, but one of the Authors blocks the volcanic sink-hole, which leaves the other one to beat up Jose & Swann to win the match.
* DIY beat The Revival when they duck the belt throw by Revival, which hit strategically placed trampolines, bouncing the belts back into the faces of Dash & Dawson, knocking each out.
The First Second Second Round:
* Itami & Ibushi throw Fosters cans at Aries & Strong, reminding them that they wasted their beer earlier. Aries & Strong drink them down, but then being such small guys, get drunk and are easily beaten up with kicks and Chinese burns.
* The Authors of pain get a free pass to the Final First Round when DIY slip on strategically placed banana peels by The Revival, accompanied by their new pet chimp/manager, Cornetto.
The Second Second Round/Final First Round:
* The Authors of Pain win the entire tournament when Ibushi has still not signed his full-time contract, thus necessitating he be replaced by a cardboard cut-out of himself, which in turn is more over than The Authors of Pain.
Threaded Mode