SmackDown!: August 3, 2040
We open with Lisa Benton in the ring with a pedestal that's covered with a cloth. Whatever could be underneath??? She talks about how the upcoming SummerSlam could be one of the biggest and memorable in the history of the WWE and just think of the ground that covers. No matter which show you may recognize as one of the greatest the common ground that those events share is that history was made one way or another and underneath this cover will help make even more history at SummerSlam. Lisa goes on to talk about the depth of the women's division and how they've managed to step up this year to take it to levels even higher than it was before and there's no reason that can't continue especially with what's going to be at stake at SummerSlam. With that, she pulls off the cover and reveals what she is calling the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship. Ooh, those belts look shiny. They'll look even better on the women who deserve them. Benton encourages the women in the back to start buddying up because starting on Raw there will be 4 different triple threat tag team matches to determine who will qualify for a mini-tournament where the final two tag teams will square off at SummerSlam and make history to see will be crowned the first ever Women's Tag Team Champions. She invites the crowd to enjoy the show tonight especially the main event which will see WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming and Xavier Cross face Noah Carmichael and Kyle Jacobs!
Backstage, Orlando Kincaid wants to rip into Alexander Piero. According to Kincaid it was bad enough getting knocked out of the King of the Ring by an arrogant, snot-nosed rookie like Piero but then to be put on the shelf for these past few weeks and have to continue to watch him, it was too much to bear. Piero got his receipt and Kincaid hopes he takes it to heart.
Elsewhere backstage, Hannah McCormick catches up to Nathan Quinn. She's excited about the opportunity to be able to win the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship and she's sure that Leah is just as excited. Nathan confirms that Leah is in fact looking forward to competing. Hannah asks that Nathan and Leah let her know when they want to start strategizing. Nathan rebukes her by pointing out how Hannah evidently didn't need Leah judging by what she said on Raw. Leah is going to have her own partner as Nathan has been doing some scouting and they'll be ready to go come Raw. Hannah is furious at this but then counters by doubling down on how she was right about not needing Nathan or Leah. She has Bobbi Jo! Bobbi has been at her side all this time and it's been for a moment like this! We'll all see who deserves those belts at SummerSlam!
First Match: WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns vs. DJ Stokes
See DJ. See the Intercontinental Champion. See the unemployment line, DJ. See DJ job. Job DJ, job. Seth Von Kamp runs down afterwards still pissed at Reigns and runs the champion off. ****1/2, 92% overall.
Second Match: The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the WWE Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones vs. Caleb Greene and Stanley Coleman
Hotbody lets us know that once again he's being forced to go down any and all legal avenues to overturn the decision Lisa Benton made last night to give Martyn LaSalle yet another shot at his Cruiserweight Title. Lisa claims that she believed Luscious' act and that's why she did it but hasn't she ever heard of the Just Kidding Precedent?!? It's a total outrage but Hotbody assures us that he's got his top guys working on it! Anyways, the match is good shit all around. Things get chaotic towards the end and this causes Luscious to wave to the back evidently signaling for someone to come down. Indeed, Galino & Farnes run down to take advantage of the chaos and level Stanley Coleman with the Cross Examination. That allows Hotbody to sneak in and get the pin for the victory. Luscious afterwards demands that we all welcome the new legal counsel under her watch. ****1/2, 90% overall.
Backstage WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey approaches Eclypse and asks if she heard the news about the competition for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship. Indeed Eclypse has but she didn't think much of it. Naomi says that it's an opportunity that only comes once in a lifetime. Not only would Naomi be the first to hold that championship, she'd be the first to hold it AND the WWE Women's Title simultaneously! She'd be the female Bruno Sammartino. Eclypse asks if Naomi is insinuating that she wants the two of them to team up. Naomi says she's approaching Eclypse as her fellow cousin and that it'd be a huge deal. Eclypse finds it funny that Naomi has been in the WWE for two years and is only now acknowledging their relationship and extending a hand. Naomi understands that and she feels bad but what a way to make it up, right? Eclypse ponders this for a bit but ultimately agrees on the condition that Naomi had better not cause her to regret it.
Back to the ring for Super Special Angle Time as Haven joins us to bring everyone up to speed on the misery he's been enduring ever since King of the Ring. He doesn't know who this mystery source of aggravation is but he is running low on patience and goodwill, if he even had any to begin with. He tells this mystery person that he's going to make it really easy. Here he stands in front of the world, a target. Let's see how well the hunter does when the prey is willing to spring the trap.
Almost on cue, the lights flicker on and off until ultimately the arena is shrouded in darkness with only the big screen lit up. The word "NOW" comes up on the display and the lights return and WRAKK IS STANDING IN FRONT HAVEN!!! WTF??? HE'S BEEN GONE SINCE LAST YEAR! Haven is shocked to say the least but that doesn't last long as Wrakk immediately puts the hurt on and manhandles the person who was supposed to be his opponent at last year's SummerSlam. Haven gets absolutely destroyed and finally gets the exclamation point put on him as Wrakk delivers the Demon Cross to lay him out. Wrakk has made one hell of an impact on his return.
Third Match: Faith Connors, Jenna Kyle, Lzzy Ryd, and Tania vs. Hannah McCormick, Bobbi Jo, Emma Edwards, and Billie Padgett
Hannah lets Bobbi know that now is the time to step up and show everyone what she's learned being at the side of a superstar the caliber of Hannah. What can I say about this match other than it's 8 talented women giving it their all. It's BONZO GONZO at the end and Bobbi Jo escapes Lzzy's attempt at the Jam Session and catches the custom Hannah McCormick microphone as it's tossed to her and uses it to KO Lzzy and steal the pin. ****1/2, 94% overall.
Backstage, Kerry Cemenko laments his loss to Butch Fleming at King of the Ring but wants to make it clear that he's not going to dwell on it. Cue Ziggy Styles who interjects himself into the scene. Ziggy doesn't want to see Cemenko in a bad mood. Now is the time to smile and enjoy the day! So what if Cemenko got embarrassed in front of the whole world? Is that any reason to not get Ziggy with it? Cemenko merely shoots Ziggy a glare and that causes an awkward moment as Ziggy merely smiles back like an idiot expecting Cemenko to join him in his jollies. Ziggy eventually gets the hint and backs off.
Elsewhere backstage Stephan Q. Sterling talks about his new team, the Pacific Connection coming along at the right time as they want to compete for the chance at the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship. Mika and Tamara may be rookies but it'd be one hell of a way to make an impact to hold up that gold at SummerSlam.
MAIN EVENT: WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming and Xavier Cross vs. Noah Carmichael and Kyle Jacobs
Did I seriously only do four matches for this show?
I guess I could say I gave the women's match a shit ton of time. This match, too, seeing as it's the main event and all. Fleming commends Carmichael on the balls it takes to demand their match be Hell in a Cell at SummerSlam. He's thinking about it but doesn't have an answer just yet. Cross is upset at getting disrespected by a punk like Jacobs. He'll be generous and take care of Jacobs right here, right now. Sadly, Cross is no psychic as he and Fleming have some communication issues and that allows Jacobs to hit a surprise Legacy Bomb on Cross for the pin. *****, 95% overall.
Overall show rating: 87%