Unforgiven 2040: September 30, 2040
Pre-Show Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. Kerry Cemenko
I'm almost afriad of using Cemenko in the pre-show because of the precedent he set not too long ago of having a GOAT encounter not on the PPV. Fortunately these guys scale things back a bit. Not by a lot as they still have to set the tone for the night. Kerry is OFFENDED at Quentin's use of his own Curb Stomp on SmackDown! and thus he tries to pull one off the top rope just like Quentin did. The ref is out of position and doesn't see Quentin loading up the brass knuckles and Cemenko comes down with his nuts landing on Quentin's fist. A small package later and Quentin gets the duke. *****, 94% overall.
Unforgiven starts now! Your theme for tonight is "Reckless" by Lacuna Coil.
Opening Match: WWE Unified Tag Team Championship
Adam Hail and Simon Bennett (c) w/Paul Andrews vs. The Future Foundation w/Vivian Merrick
A rematch from the gauntlet a few nights ago. Vivian points out that this is a completely different scenario than before. The Future Foundation are actually prepared for those two cheats. Her boys are called the Future Foundation for a reason and there's no room in the future for a couple of veteran rejects! It's a hot opener to say the least, although Cemenko and McDaniels had the charisma advantage so this suffers a bit in comparison. Hail and Bennett haven't lost a step as they outmatch the former champions with experience. Vivian tries her hand at distracting the ref but Andrews merely picks her up off the apron, drapes her over his shoulders and carries her off up the ramp. Julian is aghast at this and that opens him up to Bennett locking in the Bennett Lock for the submission. Hail and Bennett retain! ****1/2, 90% overall.
Second Match: Xavier Cross vs. Kyle Jacobs
Cross reiterates the stipulations here with glee. Jacobs has certainly come a long way in the almost 2 years he's been on the roster. The main event scene would be great for him if it wasn't so crowded right now. These guys have awesome chemistry and it comes down to Cross setting up Jacobs for the Cross Cutter but Jacobs counters by lifting Cross up into the Legacy Bomb and adds in a jacknife roll-up for good measure to get the surprise pin. Looks like no servitude for Jacobs after all! *****, 95% overall.
Third Match: The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes vs. Ozzy Mandias, Eddy Clash, Jordan Demiras, and Martyn LaSalle
Ozzy has a lot on the line here as he has to captain this impressive collection of a team. Hotbody has ZERO interest in participating here and decides that his attention is better spent making googly eyes at Luscious and exploring the back of her throat with his tongue. She might have something lodged in there! Anyways, this is a wild affair. The pace slows a bit when Zed and Eddy have their little showdown, a preview of things for down the road. Fast forward to the end as Demiras and Farnes are the legal men. Zed and Eddy disappear up the ramp, Ozzy chases Hotbody around the ring, and Luscious tries to slip Farnes the GAVEL OF DOOM but Demiras intercepts it. He looks like he's going to nail Luscious with it! Farnes tries to sneak attack but Demiras dodges, knocking Farnes into Luscious. Axe Kick off the top rope! Demiras scores the pin for the faces! ****1/2, 90% overall.
Fourth Match: Wrakk vs. Ryan Pattillo
These guys pick up right where they left off on SmackDown!. I actually feel kind of bad treating a guy like Pattillo like an afterthought. He was actually THE face of the company for a while before I just arbitrarily switched to Carmichael. In my defense, the Carmichael vs. all of his former buddies was a pretty hot thing. Anyways, maybe in the near future he can headline a PPV or two, who knows? What I do know is this match is all Wrakk just being brutal but Pattillo taking it and asking for more. There's only so much he can take, though, and his attempt at the Shutdown gets, well, shut down as Wrakk reverses into the Demon Cross to score the pin. *****, 94% overall.
Fifth Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Championship
The Lonely Girls (c) vs. WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse
Aaaaand here we go again. Just wonderful, pant-tightening goodness all around here. Eclypse and Naomi look more driven and focused here than at SummerSlam. The end comes down to Faith and Eclypse as the legal women. Eclypse sets up Faith for the Fade to Black but Faith escapes. Naomi, having dispatched Jenna to the outside, tries to lend a boot by going for a kick to Faith's face. Faith ducks and the boots knocks down Eclypse. Naomi face palms but Jenna comes back in and dives at her sending them both to the outside. Eclypse stumbles back up to her feet but is greeted by Faith hitting the Mirror's Edge! Naomi knocks down Jenna again and sees Faith pinning Eclypse. She looks to go in to break it up but seems to stop herself at the last second. Faith gets the pin allowing the Lonely Girls to retain! Could Naomi have helped Eclypse there? *****, 96% overall. Match of the Night so far.
Sixth Match: WWE Intercontinental Championship - Last Man Standing
Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Brandon Reigns
Well these guys will see that 5 stars and 96% overall rating and raise you....
Certainly this will be on the ballot for Match of the Year when the Slammys come around, no? Seth retains as Brandon gets carted off.
Seventh Match: The Play Pals vs. The Royal Effect
Losers must split up as a team. Let's see what the game gives this outing. You would think this would be the magical 100% rating we've been looking for, right?
Well, go fuck yourself, EWR. I'm convinced that it's just not possible to get 100% overall, no matter the circumstances. Even Jenna vs. Luscious in a Topless Tapioca Pudding Extravaganza Match. Well, regardless, this means no more Play Pals and the two look at each other after the match with the appearance that they might just break down in tears. What's next for them moving forward?
MAIN EVENT: Unsanctioned Match - WWE Unified World Champion Noah Carmichael vs. Salvatore Scabbia w/Brooke
Brooke gets on the mic and calls Noah brave but stupid for showing up here. Salvatore appreciates it but he came for what was promised him. Brooke doesn't give a damn about the match not being sanctioned; she DEMANDS that Noah agree to putting the title on the line like he was supposed to. Unless he feels comfortable just hiding behind Lisa Benton and her orders. Noah merely looks at both belts and hands them to the ref and nods his head! Is this even allowed? Well, regardless, unsanctioned means anything goes pretty much. It's a valiant effort on behalf of Carmichael but he's feeling the effects of what he's been through. They fight to the stage and it finally looks like Carmichael may have the upper hand and he looks to send Scabbia flying off the stage. Brooke gets Carmichael's attention and Carmichael grabs her as he's apparently had enough. Scabbia takes the opportunity to strike!!! He grabs Carmichael from behind and sends him into some of the set before locking in the Omerta! Carmichael fights like hell to break the hold but he's got no way of forcing a break other than his own strength. Sadly it looks like that's all tapped out and Carmichael ends up fading. The ref can't get a response and he calls for the bell!!! Scabbia wins! Brooke immediately grabs the belts and hands them to Scabbia! But he can't really be champion, right? ****1/2, 91% overall.
Overall show rating: 95%