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Old 01-31-2021, 02:45 PM   #2779
M-A-G
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SmackDown!: May 4, 2040

Opening Match: Vivian Merrick and the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Future Foundation vs. Jamie Roderick and The Wasteland
Standing leg lariat by Jamie Roderick on Vivian. Bodyslam by Roderick. Tag between Jamie Roderick and Drakken. Drakken hits a rolling kick on Vivian. Flying cross body off the top rope! Even Steamboat would have applauded the execution on that. Hooks the leg for a two count. Tag to Duke. Drakken scoops up Vivian. Duke bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big backdrop on Vivian, executed well. Duke drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. Vertical suplex by Vivian Merrick. Tag between Vivian Merrick and Julian Merrick. Merrick slams Duke down. Flying clothesline by Merrick. Hooks the leg for a close fall. Running knee lift from Julian Merrick. Merrick tags out to Rick Hilton. Hilton bodyslams Duke. Back elbow connects, Duke staggers backward. Duke fights out of a grapple. Tag to Jamie Roderick. Driven DDT by Jamie Roderick. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Hilton tags out to Vivian Merrick. Stiff high kick on Roderick by Vivian Merrick who has evidently been watching some old AJPW tapes recently. Vicious lightning kick by Vivian on Roderick. Jamie Roderick slams Vivian, who rolls onto her stomach. What is Vivian Merrick doing? Jamie Roderick picks her up and signals for a powerbomb. She raises Vivian up...but then falls backward, getting crushed by her opponent in the process! Vivian Merrick is on top! 1....2....3! Looking at the replay, it appears that Vivian had taken a chain out of her tights and wrapped it around her fist! Jamie Roderick must have been punched with that chain while in mid-powerbomb! What a cheap shot! A ****1\4 rating, great bout. 90% overall.

Michael Hotbody is on the phone backstage with someone. He's telling this person that Zed Jones is banned from his match against Calab Greene tonight and that this is the moment of truth if what Hotbody has been telling them these past few weeks have gotten through.

Back in the ring, Hugo is addressing the crowd. He's here in the WWE to dominate and be number one. He's already put a few notches on his belt and it's only the beginning. Daniel St. Croix runs down to try to get him some, no doubt trying to avenge what happened to his partner on Raw. Hugo is just too much though and just brutalizes St. Croix leaving him laying.

Second Match: Naomi Bailey and Jenna Kyle vs. Phoebe Hanson and Tania.
Jenna is looking none too happy being out here, paired with Naomi. Tania slams Jenna Kyle. Back elbow connects, Downunder staggers backward. Cover for a two count. Tag to Phoebe Hanson. Tania \ Phoebe whip Downunder into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Cover for a two count. Flying elbow from Phoebe Hanson. Downunder reverses a Phoebe Hanson hammerlock. Big piledriver on Phoebe. There's a two count on the pin. Tag to Naomi Bailey. Naomi Bailey hits a bulldog off the ropes. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Bailey slams Phoebe Hanson down. Phoebe Hanson ducks a clothesline attempt. Second rope flying axe handle, Bailey goes down. Tag between Phoebe Hanson and Tania. Bailey gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Tania. Tag to Jenna Kyle. Second rope flying axe handle, Downunder goes down. Tania signals for the Nose Dive! Billie Padgett comes out of the crowd and into the ring! Tania turns around. Billie Padgett spins Tania around. Billie Padgett hits the Red Hook! The referee calls for the DQ because of the interference of Billie! Excellent match, a ***** rating! Jenna gets in Billie's face, upset at what she's done. 96% overall.

OK, wow...another five stars. I'm starting to think doing Faith vs. Jenna in this game will indeed give me an orgasm.

We get a promo from the Unified World Champion Noah Carmichael. He admits that he was dreading the day when Butch Fleming would eventually return. Not because Carmichael is afraid of him but because Carmichael knows the obsession Fleming possesses would derail whatever joy there was. Fleming is dangerous, no question about it, but Carmichael will always know him better than he knows himself. He accepts Fleming's challenge for Judgment Day.

Third Match: Kerry Cemenko vs. Chris Collins
Hard impact russian legsweep by Collins. If you're going to get impact, 'hard' is probably a good way to go. Lightning kick by Collins on Concrete. Cover for a two count. Concrete reverses a Chris Collins hammerlock. Concrete slams Chris Collins. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Cover for a two count. Shining Wizard on Collins, Concrete really laid that one in. Pin, but Collins is out just before the three count. Stun Gun from Kerry Cemenko! There used to be this blonde guy in WCW in the early 90's who used that...i wonder what happened to him? Chris Collins avoids a Kerry Cemenko avalanche. Reverse DDT into a backbreaker by Chris Collins, great move. There's a two count on the pin. Back heel kick off the second rope, Concrete goes down. Pin, but Concrete is out just before the three count. Big dropkick by Chris Collins, who got good elevation. Kick from Chris Collins to the leg. Kerry Cemenko pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Big backdrop on Collins, executed well. Springboard dropkick from Kerry Cemenko. Nicely done. Chris Collins gets whipped into the corner by Concrete, and flips all the way over to the outside! Collins stays down on the outside, hurt. The referee reaches a ten count, and this one is over. Xavier Cross comes running down the aisle with a chair and into the ring! Concrete turns...and is dropped by a vicious chair shot! Xavier Cross has left Concrete down and bloodied. Excellent match, a ***** rating! 94% overall.

Somehow I don't think these guys would give me an orgasm.

Fourth Match: Jason Sorola and the Agents of Change vs. Martyn LaSalle and the Wyldhearts
Spinning back kick from Robbie Greer. Bodyslam by Robbie G.. Tag between Robbie Greer and Blaine Bellamey. Flying shoulder tackle by BB sends Sorola to the mat. Big piledriver on Sorola. Cover for a two count. Tag to Martyn LaSalle. BB \ LaSalle whip Sorola into the ropes and hit a double clothesline. Spin kick by Martyn LaSalle to the face. Sorola blocks a punch. Flying shoulder tackle by Sorola sends LaSalle to the mat. Sorola tags out to Clayton North. Driven DDT by Clayton North. The ring shook violently, instantly making it better at selling than some of the current roster. Back heel kick off the second rope, LaSalle goes down. Pin, but LaSalle is out just before the three count. Second rope flying axe handle, LaSalle goes down. Tag to Corey Mattis. Corey Mattis hits some punches. Running knee lift from Corey Mattis. Martyn LaSalle avoids a Corey Mattis avalanche. Tag to Robbie Greer. Second rope flying axe handle, Mattis goes down. Tag between Corey Mattis and Jason Sorola. Jason Sorola fires off some right and left hands. Reverse DDT into a backbreaker by Jason Sorola, great move. Jason Sorola floors Robbie G. near the ropes and makes the pin. Sorola is using the ropes for leverage! The referee hasn't seen it: 1....2....3!! I'm slapping a ****1\4 rating on this. 88% overall.

Backstage, Kyle Jacobs is PUMPED and ready to go. He's not letting Backlash or Brandon Reigns ruin things for him tonight. He is willing, however, to do a little premature spoiling of Brooke's birthday by taking back the Intercontinental Title.

Fifth Match: Caleb Greene vs. Michael Hotbody
Hotbody comes out wearing what is obviously a phony championship belt and insists the ring announcer redo his entrance, making sure Hotbody is referred to as the current CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION-ELECT! Also, he wants to make it crystal clear to Caleb Greene and everyone else that despite the high-profile nature of the match it is strictly NON-TITLE!!! So here we go...

Fifth Match: Caleb Greene vs. WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody
Hotbody hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Hotbody hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Hotbody slams Caleb Greene down. Caleb reverses a waistlock. Caleb Greene snap suplexes Hotbody...with authority! ('With authority', trademark G.Monsoon 1986.) Ring-shaking slam on Hotbody. Hooks the leg for a two count. Caleb walks into a trip. Hotbody crushes Caleb with a sweet running senton. There's a two count on the pin. Death valley driver by Michael Hotbody, Caleb Greene got planted. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Hotbody walks into a trip. Stiff chop lights up Hotbody. Michael Hotbody fights out of a grapple. Caleb takes a flying neckbreaker from Michael Hotbody. Caleb knocks Hotbody down. Lonny Richards comes running down the aisle and onto the apron! Hotbody looks like he's the mercy of both Richards and Caleb! Caleb turns...and is dropped throat-first onto the top rope by Lonny! Lonny Richards has left Caleb in big trouble. Michael Hotbody floors Caleb Greene. Hot Ticket!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Hotbody laughs in glee and gestures to Richards to do what he pleases with Greene. Lonny Richards pushes the referee aside, then continues to assault Caleb! Right hands rain down on Caleb Greene, pounding him into the canvas. Satisfied with his work, Lonny Richards turns and leaves the ring, the damage done. Almost a ***** match...but it was missing something, so it only gets a ****1\2. 95% overall.

Sixth Match: The Play Pals vs. The Morris Cousins
Kick from Gavin Jones to the leg. Gavin Jones hits a rolling kick on Lyle. Hooks the leg for a two count. Jones tags out to Michael Haywood. The Play Pals whip Lyle into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Second rope flying axe handle, Lyle goes down. Lyle counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Lyle almost belly-to-belly suplexes Michael Haywood through the mat. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Lyle Morris and Chet Morris. Vicious lightning kick by Chet on Rage King. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Spin kick by Chet Morris to the face. Michael Haywood elbows Chet Morris in the face to break a hammerlock. Second rope flying axe handle, Chet goes down. Tag to Gavin Jones. Stiff high kick on Chet by Gavin Jones who has evidently been watching some old AJPW tapes recently. Tag between Chet Morris and Lyle Morris. Spin kick by Gavin Jones to the face. Gavin Jones floors Lyle Morris. Power Drive Elbow!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Excellent match, a ***** rating! 95% overall.

I'm...I'm just speechless....

MAIN EVENT: WWE Intercontinental Title:
Salvatore Scabbia (c) vs. Brandon Reigns vs. Kyle Jacobs
Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Brandon Reigns uses a forearm to the face. Kyle Jacobs fires off some right and left hands. Big Sal drops out the back of a Kyle Jacobs bodyslam attempt. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Jacobs is down. Springboard reverse elbow by Salvatore Scabbia. Excellent move. There's a two count on the pin. Flying clothesline by Jacobs. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Jacobs walks into a trip. Super frankensteiner on Jacobs, who hit hard. Flying clothesline by Reigns. Brooke has climbed up onto the apron! Reigns turns...and falls for the distraction! Salvatore Scabbia runs at Reigns from behind...but misses! Salvatore Scabbia collides with Brooke! Brandon Reigns floors Salvatore Scabbia. Here it comes...Iron Reign! Salvatore Scabbia taps! A **** rating for a good contest. 87% overall.

Overall show rating: 88%
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