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SmackDown!: June 29, 2040
It's the final show of the month and the King of the Ring Tournament kicks off tonight with not 1, not 2, not 3, not even 5, but FOUR first round matches. Shall we?
Opening Match: King of the Ring First Round - Azazel vs. Raymond Delaney
God, I really need to do more with Delaney. He's talented as fuck and has charisma. I need to start planning some feuds and who to phase out to make some room for newer guys. Now watch as I immediately undercut that sentiment as I have Vivian Merrick run distraction on behalf of Azazel to allow him to hit Delaney with the Demonator to score the win and advance to the next round. ****1/2, 92% overall. <----SEE WHAT I MEAN???
Second Match: King of the Ring First Round - Martyn LaSalle vs. Randy Ellis
LaSalle's future opponent, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody observes from ringside. LaSalle every so often shoots the champion a glare as if to say "Stay right where the fuck you are, son!" This is a good little bout as Ellis isn't exactly a monster or anything but still enough to make LaSalle the underdog here. LaSalle is able to lock in the Martynizer after escaping an attempt from Ellis to hit Today's Lesson for the submission win. LaSalle points at Hotbody making a statement. *****, 95% overall.
Backstage, Paul Andrews is with his client Conner Buchanan and they are in a huff over Brandon Reigns and his actions. Buchanan points out how men like Jake Connelly and Paul Andrews are respected veterans for a reason. Reigns may think that it was pathetic for a bunch of guys to fight over a chance at something like King of the Ring but that's what separates Reigns from someone like Buchanan: the willingness to fight and not be complacent.
Backstage, Jenna Kyle is prepping for a photoshoot when Nathan Quinn creeps up behind her. Quinn muses how nice it must be for Jenna to be surrounded by so much glitz and glamour. Is this why she turned down his offer to take her under his wing? She could've had all that and even more but she just had to be a stubborn idiot about things. Jenna asks if there's anything he actually needs because she has a good mind to slap the taste of his mouth right now. Well since Jenna asks, Quinn is actually quite open to showing her what she shot down by offering a match against Leah on Raw. Jenna accepts and tells him to beat it. Quinn warns that this shoot might be her last one for a while if Leah has her way.
Third Match: The British Infection vs. The Millennium Rebels
I should bring this feud to some sort of close, too. This is just tag team goodness all around and in a bit of a reversal, the Brits' manager Fanatasee runs interference getting Sammy Brady all hot and bothered. He falls prey to the Brits' double team and unfortunately takes the pinfall loss. ****1/2, 92% overall.
Backstage, the Play Pals are in the mood to show the Royal Effect what for. The Play Pals may act the fools at times and maybe even dabble in the ludicrous but they take becoming champions seriously and won't let anyone just get away with it if they get screwed. The Royal Effect are just royal pains in the ass that are going to regret what they did.
Fourth Match: King of the Ring First Round - Shawn Dangerson vs. Chris Collins
Man, I've done nothing with Collins these last few weeks. Let's remedy that, shall we? Dangerson is game here tonight as this is quite the opportunity presented to him. He may be too much game as Collins has to resort to the old missing turnbuckle trick to score a cheap win and advance to the second round. ****1/2, 93% overall.
Backstage, we catch up with Michael Hotbody who is trying to leave the building. He's asked if he was impressed with what he saw tonight from Martyn LaSalle. "Impressed? Did he become King of the Ring already? Did he win the Unified World Title? Has he beaten me and taken my Cruiserweight Championship? What's there to be impressed about? That's like asking a woman if she's impressed with a guy after the first moan she makes. Remember, Zed Jones is in this tournament, too! He'll show all of you 'impressive'!"
Fifth Match: Tania vs. Emma Edwards
Billie Padgett is at ringside as she has Emma's back. This is mainly a means to continue the feud between Tania and Padgett. Padgett accidentally nails Emma with a clothesline intended for Tania and that leads to Tania hitting the Nose Dive for the pin. The heels show their support by laying her out afterward. *****, 96% overall.
Sixth Match: King of the Ring First Round - Alexander Piero vs. Orlando Kincaid
Continuing this little bit of drama in one hell of a contest. Piero may be something in the future if he keeps his head on straight. The end comes when Piero is able to beat the count back in and he advances to the second round as Kincaid throws a fit on the outside. ****1/2, 92% overall.
MAIN EVENT: Noah Carmichael and Kerry Cemenko vs. Quentin McDaniels and WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming
The heels just can't get on the same page here at all as they keep blind tagging each other in an attempt to alpha male the other. The end comes after a "Katy, bar the door" scenario and Fleming baits Carmichael into using one of the championship belts but Carmichael hits McDaniels accidentally when Fleming moves out of the way for the DQ. We get a brawl to close the show. *****, 95% overall.
Overall show rating: 93%
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