[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: September 14, 2040

We open with our glorious leader, Lisa Benton, as she announces that we will be kicking things off by officially signing the newest addition to the WWE roster. He is the man who heard opportunity knocking and did not hesitate to answer the call. Things might have started out a bit sketchy and this isn't part of the official channel as far as these things go but the bottom line is once again 2040 makes a case for being the year of the rookie as we all welcome the man they call Big Thunder. Ladies and gentlemen, Eddy Clash!

Eddy makes his way out and he's already got theme music! He joins Lisa in the ring as he prepares to sign his contract. Lisa continues on the mic: "Eddy Clash, all cards on the table, you caused me quite a few headaches over the last few weeks. Just two weeks ago on this very program you sat in that crowd just everyone else here and you had fate basically fall into your lap. Then came all of the chaos that you stirred up with Brandon Reigns and Ziggy Styles and everyone else trying to reason with you. I have to admit I was hesitant to offer you what I did on Superstars because I am not about to send the message to any potential hopefuls out there that might want to think that what you did was the way into the WWE. No, far from it. But I know the kinds of people who can make impacts and I'm telling you right now, Eddy, I believe that you can make an impact as a member of the WWE roster. So with that said, by all means, take that step towards superstardom and let's get these documents signed."

Eddy Clash takes the pen with extreme excitment and eagerness and is ready to sign...BUT HOLD THE PHONE!!! Here comes Luscious to make a nuisance of herself! She gets into the ring with Lisa and Eddy and bares her soul.

"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, who are you kidding? You only went through all of this so that you could avoid all of that legal pile up that my crack legal team, Galino & Farnes, was ready to cram down your throat! Truth be told, I don't think even this puts you out of the woods! As we speak Galino & Farnes are combing through the proper references but I speak for them when I say that we're talking criminal trespass, larceny, assault, and severe emotional distress to Brandon Reigns! THAT'S how Eddy Clash's entrance into the WWE should be remembered, not this farce that you're forcing us all to witness. Eddy, you had better think long and hard about putting your name on that dotted line because if you sign, you're basically agreeing to be a part of this sham of an administration!"

Lisa responds with annoyance, "Listen. Don't come walking up here talking about others needing to do the right thing when YOUR boyfriend decided to make a mess out of the cruiserweight gaunlet last night. Since you're so keen on speaking for your close circle of friends how about you clue all of us in as to what the hell he was thinking?"

"Woah, woah, woah, hey, look, I don't have ALL the answers; but I can assure you that Michael Hotbody (I love you, boo!) will be here later tonight to address what happened last night and will take the proper steps to make amends. But this isn't about me or Mikey Poo..."

"Jesus Christ..."

"...this is about sending a message to you, Eddy Clash. You have probably the biggest decision you can ever make in front of you. You walk away right now, we can just call this a fun little detour in your life. You know, something to scratch off your bucket list. You sign that contract, you will have the full wrath of the greatest legal team in the WWE brought down upon you!"

Eddy takes the mic after having to listen to all of this and addresses Luscious. "You're right in the sense that this is a huge decision. It's something I've worked for practically all of my life; and I'm not going to be deterred by some blabbermouth in a skirt. In a way I'm almost glad you came down here because I guess I can share a detail about this contract. See this contract actually allows me the right to choose my first opponent as an official member of the WWE roster. And I can't think of a better night than this Monday on Raw to make it so. I'll sign this and show up..." Eddy signs the contract as he continues "...and you, Luscious, can bring one of those so-called legal experts and they can try bringing some of that wrath you were talking about. See you on Monday." And with that Eddy Clash hands the contract back to Lisa Benton and takes his leave as Luscious pouts.

Backstage, Chris Collins wants to set the record straight with Alexander Piero. Piero had no business getting involved in the main event on Raw. Collins already made it clear that what happened to Madison last week was NOT HIS PROBLEM! Piero is too damn emotional for this business if he is going to pull stunts like what he did on Raw. Piero made it personal by costing Collins a chance at the Unified World Title and that's something he can't just overlook. If Piero wants to push this, Madison is going to be the best case scenario.

First Match: Lonny Richards and The Perfections vs. Mathias and The Jersey Experience
Hopefully Lonny has learned his lesson. Anyways this is more for the benefit of Leah and Bonnie Beckham because, as Nathan Quinn points out, they're hungry for the Women's Tag Team Titles and deserve a shot once all of the drama Jenna and Faith are dealing with gets wrapped up. It's certainly a possibility that Eclypse and Naomi can take the belts but Leah and Bonnie want the Lonely Girls so that they can be exposed for being inferior. They may be great but they are not perfection! Big talk aside this is an awesome match. Quinn thinks he can make it awesomer by distracting Jamie Roderick and that allows Leah to take advantage and hit the Sultry Splash for the pin. ****1/4, 87% overall

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He's got a whiteboard with him in the ring and we wants to let us know that he's going to help clear up what went down last night at the conclusion of the cruiserweight gauntlet. "Now for those who didn't tune in to Superstars last night, I was seated at the announce table so that I could have a first-hand look at who was going to be my challenger for my Cruiserweight Title. I'm all about competition and giving the opportunity of a lifetime to those who deserve it. Now, minus TWO CERTAIN PEOPLE, almost everyone in that match was deserving of a championship match and between the final two, Shawn Dangerson and Ozzy Mandias, I don't think I could pick who I'd want to face. Regardless, they were putting on a hell of a clinic and I didn't want to see it end in any sort of draw so I tried to help Ozzy Mandias back into the ring in the hopes that maybe the match could continue. Sadly, though, I'm just one man and I can't fight the physics of the Earth because in my valiant efforts to help Ozzy the Coriolis effect screwed up my aim and that sent Ozzy on the wrong path and he ended up hitting the ringpost. Now that may seem unlikely and it might not be what you wanted to hear but you need to understand something: you people aren't scientists! I actually have a helpful visual aide here in the form of a diagram that can help explain the matter in a way that is sure to be satisfactory to the boss and we can all hopefully move on and work on getting ourselves an actual number one contender. Now if we take a look at this big circle here in the middle you'll notice it's round and curves, OK? Now let's imagine that this smaller circle here is Ozzy Mandias. He's out there doing his thing. Probably not going to win, but, you know, he's trying hard. Tell you what, let's just put a star over him, you know, for effort. Now, this X over here is Shawn Dangerson laid out on the floor. He's not trying as hard so he doesn't get a star. Here's where things get whacky, OK? Ozzy needs to get over here in this square, A.K.A. the ring. It should be easy because it's a straight line but this curve that the Earth has puts a damper on that. That's called the Coriolis effect. So anything that might have happened to Ozzy last night was not my fault. I'm pretty awesome but science is science and there's no fighting science!"

Cue the music of Ozzy Mandias and he saunters into the ring to confront Hotbody. "There may be no fighting science but I sure as hell can fight you! And make no mistake about it, I WILL!"

"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on; let's not do anything so rash, OK? I said that was going to come out here to explain things BUT I did also say that I was going to try to make things right. I'm absolutely eager to find a number one contender for my title, so here's what I'm going to do. On Raw, not only am I going to find a way to sort out a challenger but I will defend my Cruiserweight Title on that same night! That should make everyone happy, no?"

"I don't know. How about you let me know after you feel this..." Ozzy tries to nail Hotbody with a right hand but the champ drops to the ground and rolls out of the ring and bolts. Perhaps Ozzy ruined his chances?

Backstage in Lisa Benton's office Vivian Merrick decides to drop in and pester the boss. Vivian tells Lisa that the talk that's going around the manager circles is that Paul Andrews has something big that he's getting ready to drop soon. Lisa responds by saying that she's not at liberty to discuss that since things haven't been finalized. Vivian claims that she deserves to know what sort of shady dealings are afoot especially if they're going to concern her tag team champion clients. Lisa again avoids answering but lets Vivian know that there is something coming up that is going to concern the Future Foundation. In two weeks on Superstars, the Unified Tag Team Titles will be on the line in a tag team gauntlet match. Vivian's clients should be VERY concerned about that.

Second Match: Kyle Jacobs vs. Steve Hayes
Giving Jacobs some love here as a possible second encounter with Xavier Cross may be on the horizon. Jacobs gets a solid clean pin fall win here with the Legacy Bomb. ****1/2, 92% overall

Third Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Internet Darlings
Naomi wants to tell Eclypse that the two of them need to get on the same page because the small petty nonsense that's been going on between them is going to be the death of them come Unforgiven. She reiterates that the bond between Faith and Jenna is tenuous. The bond between Naomi and Eclypse is family and it can overcome anything. Anyways, this match is the goods as Lauren and Sarah make pretty good stand-ins for Faith and Jenna. The end comes when Eclypse manages to hit the Fade to Black but she stumbles into her corner. Naomi makes a blind tag and gets the pin for herself. Hmmmmm.... ****1/2, 91% overall

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the Money in the Bank winner, Brandon Reigns. Reigns may not have himself a whiteboard but he does have a contract. No, he's not talking about the Money in the Bank contract. He's talking about the committment that Lisa Benton made to him on Raw. Brandon reminds everyone that he vows on punishing everyone responsible for the bad week he had and it's going to begin at Unforgiven. Lisa Benton was "generous" enough to allow Reigns the privilege of picking what kind of match he's going to have when he challenges Seth Von Kamp for the Intercontinental Title. Seth had one good night and if he wants to drown himself in self-congratulatory ego-stroking, whatever; that's on him. But it's meaningless in the long run because Unforgiven is where Seth's ass is smacked with reality.

Cue the Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp himself making his way out to the stage. He begs Brandon Reigns to just get on with it because he's got better things to do...like keeping his Intercontinental Title nice and shiny. Or congratulating Eddy Clash on making it into the WWE. Anything other than one more minute of Brandon Reigns and his whining. Reigns tells Seth to laugh it up while he still can because he wants everyone to remember this moment. He wants everyone to recall this moment after they finish witnessing what happens to Seth at Unforgiven, when they see his busted up body, with no pride and definitely no title. It's going to be Seth vs. Reigns...Last Man Standing.

Fourth Match: Jason Sorola vs. Jesse Capalbo
Jason gets on the mic and just rips into Shawn Dangerson. Dangerson is nothing more than a choke artist who just happened to luck into a semi-competent manager. Yeah, Jason may have attacked Dangerson last night but let's be honest; it's not like he was going to win the gauntlet anyway! Dangerson couldn't get the pin or the tap out on Jason Sorola so he had no business in that final match and if Dangerson has a problem with that Jason Sorola won't have any problem once again teaching him who his daddy is! Good match here as Sorola is fired up. He scores a pin by using the tights but he can't celebrate for long as Shawn Dangerson runs in afterward to try to get some payback. THE FEUD MUST CONTINUE! ****1/2, 92% overall

Fifth Match: The Wyldhearts vs. Southern Gentlemen
The Wyldhearts are miffed at the loss of Madison and they want to let Chris Collins know that they, too, have a beef with him. They vow to try to make it into the tag team gauntlet so that they can win the titles in her honor. We get an awesome display of tag team wrestling as we've got 4 guys completely comfortable in their roles. Chris Collins walks down the ramp apparently offended at the Wyldhearts' comments. This brings Alexander Piero out as he once again tries to get him some of Collins. The whole ordeal allows the Wyldhearts to hit Brody Lee with the Heartstopper and get the pin. Officials come out to try to separate Piero and Collins. *****, 96% overall

MAIN EVENT: Wrakk and The Royal Effect vs. The Hunters
Wrakk is in a mood as he wants to get on Haven's case for being on Raw. You would have thought that Haven learned his lesson at SummerSlam but apparently he didn't get enough. In the meantime, there is a perfect surrogate in Ryan Pattillo here that can suffer the consequences. Realistically this is more about the Royal Effect and The Play Pals as we no doubt move closer to finally ending that feud. Chances are they'll both be in that tag team championship gauntlet in a few weeks. Needless to say Wrakk needs the victory more than anybody else here so thus we get ending where McKay drops Gavin throat first on the top rope and Wrakk hits the Demon Cross for the pin. ****1/2, 94% overall

Overall show rating: 88%