Raw: August 13, 2040
We open with Seth Von Kamp in the ring wanting to make his case again for getting a chance to kick Brandon Reigns' teeth in. "The way I see it, Brandon Reigns owes me. He owes me big. A chance to once again call myself the King of the Ring and the chance to finally wear that Unified World Title. Brandon Reigns loves to strut his stuff out here week in and week out and refer to himself as being the harbinger of a bright future. Well, if that's the case, Reigns, you wouldn't have needed to do what you did to me. You would certainly wouldn't need to run from my challenge. All you had to do was wait in the wings until WrestleMania, like you said, and watch as I won the Unified World Title at SummerSlam. The truth is you're so full of it and we all know it."
Cue the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming himself as he enters the ring. "Uh, slight correction there, Seth. You're also full of it. You're full of it when you tell these people that you would have had a chance at walking out of SummerSlam the new Unified World Champion. Less you forget, I'm still holding this gold and I have no plans to change that anytime soon. Let me tell you all something, if you were a bit put off and squeamish and what I did to Noah Carmichael last week, it goes against what I'm supposed to do, but I'll warn you now that you don't want to watch the main event at SummerSlam. You see it's going to be that wounded animal you call a hero trapped in a cage with no escape and with the most ruthless son of a bitch to call himself a wrestler. Busted up fingers are just the beginning. They're the foreplay and the climax is going to be that groan of disappointment and disgust that you're all going to make after I stand over what's left of Noah Carmichael. And whether or not you get that match against Brandon Reigns, Seth, I hope you look at that aftermath and you thank your lucky stars that Reigns screwed you over and you didn't end up a chump with a broken body instead of just the chump you are now."
Seth doesn't take kindly to these words and decides to unload on the champion! He seems to have the upper hand but Brandon Reigns decides to run in to attack Seth from behind. He puts the boots to Seth and Fleming tries crawling away but HERE COMES CARMICHAEL to get a piece. It's a double brawl as we go to break!
Back from break we've got Madison with Alexander Piero talking about Orlando Kincaid. Piero warns Kincaid that their issues are between the two of them and to leave Madison out of it.
First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Vic Gambler
Moving up from cruiserweights, eh, Shawn? Jason Sorola watches the proceedings from the stage. Dangerson needs to be believable against some bigger guys so I figure throw him this match. He gets the surprise submission win by locking in the Danger Zone. Sorola tries to run down for some nefarious purposes for sure but decides against it when Dangerson gives him a glare. ****1/2, 92% overall.
It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody. He scoffs at everyone who still believes that Martyn LaSalle is going to be getting another match for the Cruiserweight Title. Galino & Farnes are all over this and they have so many angles to approach this that Lisa Benton and LaSalle might as well just give it up. Hotbody wants to make it clear that he'll still fulfill his obligation as far defending his title but it's not going to be against someone who doesn't deserve it. Is that too much to ask for? He's not asking for the damn moon or anything! LaSalle would be better off just taking himself to the back of the line, do some soul searching, get his head together, and work his way back up. He'll be worthy of a match some day! He just has to believe in himself!
Naturally this brings out Martyn LaSalle to the stage to counter. "I do believe in myself. I believe I can break those arms of yours and make you my bitch! Your levels of pathetic are what's unbelievable. This match is going to happen whether you like it or not. Your so-called 'legal counsel' have been making fools of themselves. THAT is what needs to be believed."
"Oh, Martyn you sad, simple man. You really think this is the end of it. You and Lisa Benton have gone so far off the rails it borders on tyranny. I'll give you all this warning: If you want to continue to force this issue, I'LL FILE AN INJUCTION AGAINST THE WWE! I'll hold all of the company up AND THERE WILL BE NO SUMMERSLAM!!! How do you like that?!?!" The segment ends with both men staring each other down.
Second Match: The Jersey Experience vs. C4
The Experience are looking for some retribution following what went down on SmackDown!. This division might end up being the best thing I've ever done. I'm so glad I thought of it.
Brooke works her magic by stumbling up Frankie and Cordelia takes advantage with the Crowning Achievement to score the pin. ****1/2, 89% overall.
Backstage there's chaos and bedlam as we're in the middle of a mugging by Wrakk. His victim? None other than Haven. Officials and personnel are in a mad scramble to get things under control but Wrakk manages to bust Haven open and declares that there's more to come at SummerSlam.
Third Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. Josh Turmell
McDaniels talks about Cemenko's failure to capture the Unified World Title at King of the Ring. McDaniels was hoping for that to be the case because he wanted Fleming as that would've been a real victory instead of a waste of time had it been Cemenko. Things have changed because now Cemenko has been stepping on McDaniels' shoes in recent weeks so he needs to be taught some manners. This is mainly to make McDaniels look good so he finishes things off pretty decisively with the Great Depression. Cemenko runs down to try to get him some and McDaniels runs away. ****1/2, 93% overall.
Backstage, Michael Hotbody is roaming the halls on his way to leaving the arena. He passes a few wrestlers who give him the stink eye, no doubt because of what he said earlier. He doesn't care as he struts away with a smile on his face until NOAH CARMICHAEL grabs a hold of him and slams him up against a wall by his collar, high school bully style. Carmichael is furious at Hotbody's threat to cancel SummerSlam. He tosses a few choice insults at Hotbody and lets him know that he's tired of all of the crap he pulls. "You dare threaten to take away my DREAM? MY OPPORTUNITY TO REGAIN MY TITLE? WHO IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!? It's about time you MAN UP and take your God damn medicine because the world title isn't going to be snatched away by some LITTLE PISS ANT LIKE YOU! This isn't a game. This isn't a joke. IT'S MY GOD DAMN LIFE YOU'RE SCREWING WITH! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!?" Hotbody isn't moved as he struggles to talk as he asks why Carmichael is so eager to get his ass handed to him by Fleming. Carmichael slams him against another wall in a fury but Hotbody adds that his World Title match isn't his problem. Carmichael prepares to do more but Lisa Benton comes in concerned and begs Carmichael to back off and let Hotbody be. She pleads with him that it's not worth the trouble and that she'll make damn sure SummerSlam isn't canceled. Carmichael lets Hotbody go after a bit but he grabs him by the face and squeezes hard and tells him that he can break him anytime he wants and then takes his leave.
Back to the ring where we're joined by Xavier Cross. Cross talks about how he doesn't appreciate being called out by people and that he's only here to respond to Kyle Jacobs' summons so that he can taught a lesson about being careful whose time he wastes. The music of Kyle Jacobs fires up and the man himself enters and joins Cross in the ring. Jacobs is a bit confused. First and foremost, Cross sure as hell isn't the man to teach anyone any lessons, especially Jacobs. Cross cuts Jacobs off and calls him a disrespectful joke that's living off of the scraps of the Jacobs name. Cross accuses him of thinking that he knows it all just because of who he studied under. Nothing could be further from the truth because Cross is the worst that Kyle will have to face so far. Kyle has been coasting on Easy Street since his arrival because no one else has the guts to sit him down under the learning tree and show him what's what. Well that's where Cross comes in and now that the two of them are face-to-face, he's actually kind of glad that Kyle invited him out here. Kyle responds by saying that before he was interrupted he wanted to note that he didn't call out Cross right now. Kyle was told that Cross wanted to call HIM out. Cross shares Kyle's bewilderment and demands that Kyle start making sense because he's running low on patience. SOMEONE had to have invited them both out here.
CUE ZIGGY STYLES! He makes his way out to the ring and welcomes everyone to his own show, Getting Ziggy With It, With Ziggy Styles! He apologizes for the deception and the surprise which is the reason for the lack of decorum but he wanted an explosive rivalry to be the focus of the first edition of his show! Ziggy wants to help the two smooth things over because if the two of them can turn their frowns upside-down, there's hope for the whole WWE! Now, let's start with some simple apologies. Ziggy asks Kyle to apologize to Cross for living off of the Jacobs name. Kyle declares that he doesn't have time for this stupidity and turns to leave. Cross, feeling further disrespected, uses this opportunity to trigger a brawl, leaving Ziggy exasperated.
Fourth Match: Clubber Harris, Alexander Piero, and the Wyldhearts vs. Chris Collins, Orlando Kincaid, and the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Future Foundation
Back to overcrowded main events of awesomeness! And once again I realize too late that I only did four matches. Well, the angles should make up for it, I hope. These guys don't too shabby of a job themselves as it's multi-man action at it's finest. Vivian Merrick gets intercepted by Madison when the former tries some shenanigans and that leaves Julian Merrick hanging and open to Alexander Piero's Flashpoint and that leads to the pinfall win for the faces. The two teams work to separate the ladies as we go to break. ****1/2, 92% overall.
FINAL SEGMENT: We're joined by Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle, The Lonely Girls. They're here to talk about the huge moment facing them at SummerSlam. Jenna takes the mic and begins.
"So here we are. Less than two weeks from now, the culmination of one hell of a journey will take place. It's been the wildest and most surprising year of my life. If you had told me one year ago that this is where I'd be standing, side-by-side with Faith Connors, drama thrown out the door after an Iron Woman match, poised to make history by being the first holders of a new championship, there's no way I'd have believed you. I have to believe that the path that Faith and I ended up on not too long ago was for a reason. That reason is 13 days from now. Faith and I were made for this moment. We've come too far for it to turn out any other way. We will win the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship and set the standard for years to come and we dare Eclypse and Naomi to tell us any different!"
Faith takes her turn at the promo as she takes the mic.
"I've been accused of working too hard to appease you fans. That my whole career has been one big pandering session. I feel no shame in that. As corny as it may sound, what I do in this ring, I don't it just for me, I do it for all of you. I work towards moments like this for all of you. The reason being is that history can be made by anyone if they have the drive and the inspiration. I've sat in seats watching others in this ring before. I've been just like this little girl right over here. I've watched history unfold in rings like this and been inspired to make my own. Generations will take what happens at SummerSlam to heart and when this ride comes to an end, I'll take great solace in knowing that what Jenna accomplish will leave a mark and an example for others to follow. Eclypse and Naomi, if you're counting on us being intimidated or scared or outmatched come SummerSlam, you're even crazier than I am. Like Jenna said, we've come too far."
Cue the WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse to come out to add their thoughts to the matter. Naomi is eager to jump at the opportunity.
"Cute but misguided. We don't need the two of you to be intimidated or scared. We just need you to be the pathetic little girls you've always been. We need you to be absolutely destroyed and broken. We need you out of the way. I stand here the Queen of Queens. I got that by beating the both of y'all. I stand here the Women's Champion! I got that by punking out the bitch the two of you couldn't. And now you want to try to front with these people. You can pull the wool over their eyes all you want. They'll see the reality once we're whooping those scrawny asses of yours all over SummerSlam! THIS is destiny right here and it's going to leave you behind. Of course, we can always give you a little taste right now!"
Eclypse and Naomi start to make their way down the ramp and Jenna and Faith prep for a fight but Lisa Benton interrupts!
"Apologies but with everything that's gone down tonight, from Fleming and Carmichael to Reigns and Von Kamp to Haven and Wrakk I'm kind of low on tolerance for more out of control hijinx from anybody. If anything this is further justification for the small little addition that I'm going to add to your Women's Tag Team Title match and that's a special guest referee. See, for something as big as this and for something that's sure to be wild and crazy, there needs to be someone who can handle officiating the four of you in an efficient and controlled manner. Someone who loves making history and would call this match right down the middle because of how serious she takes matters like this. And quite frankly, I kind of need to get her a birthday present anyway and she'd be mad if I didn't offer her something like this. So with that said, I present to you, your special guest referee for the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship at SummerSlam!"
With that, Lisa steps to the side of the stage and gestures to the entrance. Who is she talking about? The audio gives it away as the arena is hit with the sound of an electric guitar being plugged into an amp followed by a familiar opening guitar riff! Lisa smiles because she knows who it is, obviously. Naomi and Eclypse are not happy because they know who it is. Jenna is shocked and uneasy because she knows who it is. The crowd is losing their shit because they know who it is! Is it really her?!?
YES IT IS! IT'S RIOTT! HOLY FUCK!!! The Brooklyn Badass is back!!! What a turn of events!!! We go off the air with Riott playing to the crowd and giving the competitors a little smirk.
Overall show rating: 86%