[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito AEW Crossroads April 24, 2021 No logo for this made up AEW large event, but with the Crossroads/Cross Rhodes connection let's just throw a pic of Brandi Rhodes in here.

Cody, you dog...

The Buy In: The Butcher and The Blade vs. Lance Archer and Dustin Rhodes This match was basically meant to be a teaser for the Kingston/Archer match coming up on Dynamite, as Kingston's heavies The Butcher and The Blade face off against Archer, who picked Dustin as his partner for this match due to Cody's recent feud with Kingston. Kingston gets up from commentary and interjects himself in the match, goading Archer into chasing him up the ramp leaving poor Dustin alone. B&B hit him with The Full Death for the win. Winner: The Butcher and The Blade ***, 75% overall

I'd have gone with The Premium Cut or The Grade A for their finisher name.

AEW Women's World Championship: Dr. Britt Baker DMD vs. Awesome Kong (C) I was thinking I would have to turn this into a multi-woman match because heel vs. heel matches tend to get penalized in EWR, only to then realize Kong is actually set up as a tweener which is kinda more fitting for her character anyway. She has a sadistic side but will fuck up anybody. Baker tried to chickenshit her way out of this in as many different ways as possible. Cheap shots, using Reba for distractions, etc. but nothing was throwing Kong off her game. Once Kong grabbed Baker by the hair and Baker sold the terror, it was all over. Baker takes a beating and an Awesome Bomb finishes it. Baker is the latest wrestler to get scalped by Kong's shears afterwards. Winner and STILL AEW Women's World champion: Awesome Kong **3/4, 76% overall

It was cute of Baker to try. Trophies for participation!

AEW World Tag Team Championship: SCU (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. The Young Bucks (C) The teams showed mutual respect with one another with a handshake at the start of the proceedings, but those plesantries went out the window as soon as the bell rang. These teams threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other and it shows with the match rating. I did not advertise this as Daniels' final match, especially on a show with a retiring Sting who I can't ever use again....and with ratings like this I think I can see why I still would love to find ways to keep him in an angle to justify him wrestling. Four super talented dudes, two of whom are at main event level overness and the other two in the 80s, AND the X factor of both teams having high experience ratings, yeesh this ruled. After a dramatic contest, Daniels connects with the Angel's Wings on Nick Jackson. Not convinced that would be enough to end it, Daniels goes up top for the Best Moonsault Ever. Big mistake, Nick gets his knees up! Nick gets him with the roll up and the Bucks retain! After the bell, the crowd applauds all four men. Kazarian looks really deflated on the outside. After the Bucks leave, a Kazarian gets into the ring and shoves down Daniels in frustration! He immediately gets a look of regret but doesn't help Daniels up, leaving in a huff instead. Winners and STILL AEW World Tag Team champions: The Young Bucks *****, 96% overall (100% quality)

THE SNOWFLAKES ARE REAL!!! I'm guessing we're going to draw out the farewell for Daniels? It'd be something if Kazarian decides to retire, too.

[B]It's time for our Double or Nothing match with a whole lot of money at stake. "Big Money" Matt Hardy is out first. He reminds everybody that he was allowed to pick the stipulation. He wanted to ensure a fair fight for all, and he found the perfect referee for the job. An intensely focused referee. A man with the integrity to call things right down the middle. A man intelligent enough to know the rulebook front and back. Ladies and gentleman, my longtime dear personal friend......KURT ANGLE!!! The crowd marks out, what is Kurt Angle doing here in AEW??? Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring in his AEW referee shirt and soaks in the adoration from the crowd. 86% overall

Angle and Hardy friends? Man, I bet they've got some crazy drug-induced stories to swap. Not to mention being cucked.

Double or Nothing Match w/ Special Guest Referee Kurt Angle: "Big Money" Matt Hardy vs. "Hangman" Adam Page Matt Hardy has possibly his best match in AEW, these two gelled even better than the last big show and between the extra crowd support culminating the feud and the dynamics of a special guest referee, the crowd ate it up. A fired up Hangman wails on Matt so much at the beginning Angle has to try to break them up, which doesn't go over with the crowd. Matt throws Hangman into the steps at ringside, trying to goad The Dark Order into something. Dark Order look like they're about to lose their cool and jump Matt which prompts Angle to eject them to heel heat. Unfortunately for Matt, who assumed he had the referee in his pocket Angle would go on to prove his 3 I's true by eventually ejecting Private Party as well, and not ignore Matt's attempts to cheat. Ie: hand on the ropes in a roll up, Angle kicks Matt's arm loose. Matt eventually loses it, screaming at Angle. I invited you to AEW and this is how you treat me? Matt shoves Angle, drawing an ooooh from the crowd. Angle asks "did you just shove an official?" and teases that he's gonna DQ Matt, turning him into a crybaby bitch begging for forgiveness. All this happens while Matt is unaware Hangman is waiting on the apron. Turn around, Buckshot Lariat, 3 count, HANGMAN WINS THE MONEY!!!!! Hangman celebrates his new fortune. Beer is on him tonight and for the forseeable future. Matt eventually recovers fuming, and now he's really getting physical with Angle. Angle looks to the crowd, match is over now so no need to play by the rules any more. Angle Slam and Angle Lock to Matt for old time's sake. Winner: "Hangman" Adam Page ****, 89% overall

I mean that's a fun end and all but how much more fun (and lawsuit-inducing) would it have been if Mike Rotunda showed up in a white shirt and suspenders and demanded from Page immediate payment on his taxes?

AEW TNT Championship - Street Fight: "The Machine" Brian Cage vs. Darby Allin (C) Darby is fully prepared to use weapons to take on Team Taz all on his own but Brian Cage, in a surprising move, tells Team Taz to stay back so they can go it alone. They had a street fight at Revolution in a tag team scenario, but now it's one on one, no more bullshit to settle the score once and for all. I imagine this match was bowling shoe ugly in the best possible way, because it was an incredible, violent brawl and like most other things tonight the crowd ate it way the hell up. Darby is one of the wrestlers on the roster who hardly needs to be talked into taking a sick bump. Brian Cage's finisher the Drill Claw is a vertical suplex piledriver hybrid. You know what that means? DRILL CLAW FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH A TABLE!!!!! The FTW Champion Cage backs it up on his own to bring more gold to Team Taz. Who can stop the path of Cage? Winner and NEW TNT Champion: "The Machine" Brian Cage ****1/2, 92% overall

THE SNOWFLAKES ARE STRONG WITH THIS SHOW! Doing the monthly big show isn't exactly hurting you in this regard.

Steel Cage Match: "The Best Man" Miro vs. "Freshly Squeezed" Orange Cassidy Another long running feud comes to an end in this one and hot damn do they have a tough act to follow. If they weren't both nice and over it might've been seen as a let down compared to the previous match. But it worked! Only way to win this match is to escape the cage, because fuck pins and submissions in a cage match. Orange tried to keep Miro off balance as much as possible, but in a cage environment, Miro definitely grabbed the momentum and seemed to turn it into a torture chamber. Orange threw his body at Miro and Miro used him as a battering ram in equal measure. The announcers bemoaned that Miro could end it and now he's just wanting to make Orange suffer. He picks up Orange in a Spinebuster formation...charges towards the cage and OH SHIT, it breaks! Orange is essentially Speared through the cage, but as he hit the ground first, he is declared the winner! Miro absolutely snaps at the decision starts tearing off a part of the cage and, attacking referees Rick Knox and Bryce Remsburg. Winner: Orange Cassidy ***, 84% overall

Never take cage match advice from Paul Wight, Miro.

Career Threatening Match: The Inner Circle (Maxwell Jacob Friedman and "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara) vs. Sting and "The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes I have no idea how Sting would've fared in a regular singles match, my suggestion is not well since his highest stat is a low 60s brawl. But between the other great workers in this and everybody being mega over, this match got to be all about the storytelling. I think everybody knows Sting is retiring, so you give them a heaping helping of hope spots and false finishes all along the way. Inner Circle try to interfere at one point and Sting/Cody fight them off like it was WCW and they were the nWo. Everyone gets nostalgic. Cody and MJF are legal in the ring. Sting and Sammy fighting outside. Sammy ends up having a madball that Santana and Ortiz slipped him when they interfered earlier, he clocks Sting with it and the referee doesn't see it because it's on the outside. Cody sees it, runs to the side of the ring to check on Sting's safety, only for MJF to roll Cody up with an illegal tight hook for the win. WHAT???? Everybody knew Sting would have to lose, but Cody eating a sudden flash pin was a subversion of expectations. Inner Circle laugh their asses off and hightail it out of there while Cody looks shocked and absolutely devastated at what just happened....did he just force one of his rivals to retire??? Winners: Maxwell Jacob Friedman and Sammy Guevara ***, 86% overall

That's a twist I didn't see coming. I'd have put money on Sting eating the pin. I'm guessing Cody is going to be getting some heat from some of the roster.

Main Event - AEW World Championship: "The Bastard" PAC vs. Jon Moxley vs. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega (C) Kenny begs off early on and tries to get one of the other guys to team with him to take out the opposition, as if he hasn't been a prick for months. The crowd get the satisfaction of seeing Kenny get his ass whooped by the faces for a while before they inevitably have to turn on each other. Some pretty standard triple threat drama in here with the close pinn breakups. Kenny has some tricks up his sleeve but they don't seem to work, Callis calls out Karl Anderson to run interference and the faces kick his ass. No dice. Faces suplex Kenny through the announce table. Faces go at it in the ring again. If the Drill Claw from the top rope looked like a sick bump before....what about Mox hitting a Paradigm Shift from the top? Holy shitballs that looked nasty. 1...2...Mox is pulled out of the ring by.........MIRO????? What the hell is this! Miro still looks enraged from his loss an hour or so ago, and he apparently wants to take it out on more people. He beats the shit out of Mox who barely has anything left in the tank as is and is just throwing punches out of instinct. They brawl up the ramp. Meanwhile in the ring, Omega has slowly recovered and he drags himself over to the nearly dead PAC in the ring to get the pin and the victory. Winner and STILL AEW World Champion: Kenny Omega ****, 89% overall

Miro and Moxley should feud over who has the hotter blonde wife...a question I still ponder over to this day. I'd say it's even more important than the 4 stars this match racked up. Omega with a heroic effort there at the end.

If I'm tracking this right this was probably your best show. Everyone looks like they were on the good shit this night.