Superstars: October 25, 2040
It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! Hotbody feels like he deserves the additional title to his name because he has all of the scoops and all of the attention! No other talk show brings the people the hard truth and emotional drama like the Hot Button. Likewise, no other person brings all of the boys to the yard like Michael Hotbody. The spotlight shines brightest on those who deserve it and that's why it is so crucial, not just to Hotbody, but to the whole company and the millions of fans out there that Hotbody remains the Cruiserweight Champion! Hotbody doesn't act out of selfishness. All of his decisions and actions are for the greater good and none of his opponents this Sunday at No Mercy can claim that!
This brings out Ozzy Mandias to the ring and he gets in Hotbody's face. Hotbody warns Ozzy that the restraining orders are still in effect but Ozzy shoots that claim down by calling the whole thing bogus. It's only appropriate because the man behind it all is bogus himself. Hotbody is a fraud and he knows it. His whole crew knows it and if being called 'selfish' is going to go along with winning the Cruiserweight Title, Ozzy will proudly carry both of those titles. Hotbody claims that the restraining orders are legit; it's just that things can get lost in the mail and sometimes the law can move slowly and that's NOT HIS FAULT! Bottom line is all Ozzy has to do is wait just a few more days and all of this will be settled. Ozzy, Demiras, and LaSalle can find out for themselves just how much time they all wasted being this petty in demanding this match! Hotbody is willing to go through with it BECAUSE HE WANTS TO not because he's being strong-armed into it! Hotbody doesn't give into threats. He makes them disappear. Ozzy counters by saying there isn't one damned person on the roster that can make him go away.
This brings out Martyn LaSalle to the show and he gets in Ozzy's face. LaSalle is feeling a tad left out and insulted. He questions what credentials Ozzy even brings to the table. At the very least Jordan Demiras is a former champion so LaSalle can somewhat tolerate him being in the match but compared to everyone else, Ozzy's resume leaves a lot to be desired. Ozzy gets right in LaSalle's face and declares that he doesn't need experience; he just needs to be the best. All three of Ozzy's opponents have had their moments to stumble all over each other. It's time for a new era in the Cruiserweight division and it begins Sunday when Ozzy beats everyone's ass.
LaSalle merely smirks and claims that Ozzy has a lot to learn, namely that desperate men will do desperate things. LaSalle is absolutely desperate. Forget Jordan's anger over a cage door putting him out of action. Forget Ozzy's entitlement. Martyn LaSalle and Martyn LaSalle alone is the man to watch and to be afraid of. You'll all see. With that, LaSalle drops the mic and turns to leave. Hotbody decides to be a dick about things and shoves Ozzy into LaSalle and bails. LaSalle turns around with the wrong idea in mind and nails Ozzy. We got a brawl on our hands between Ozzy and LaSalle! Hotbody merely takes his title and heads to the back with a smile on his face as officials come down to break things up.
First Match: El Silencio and Isaac Wolff vs. Bill Crockett and Vinnie LaPaige
Gonna take things fairly easy and laid back as far as matches go. I don't think I'm progressing anything major tonight, what with the PPV just a few days away. Anyways, it's some solid cruiserweight tag action to get the crowd going. The charisma levels here are a fucking albatross. Whatever; it still works. El Silencio hits Crockett with El Ojo Del Tempesta for the pin. That's certainly not setting him up for something major down the road, right?
****1/2, 86% overall
Second Match: Ethan Lang vs. Zed Jones
Luscious is with Zed and she decides to add onto the list of grievances that her baby Mikey Poo had earlier. Dealing with a trio of hooligans is bad enough but her and Michael Hotbody have also run afoul of a delusional meathead that goes by the name of Eddy Clash. Clash has had it easy up to this point. The main course at No Mercy will be her man retaining the Cruiserweight Title, but Zed is going to take care of the appetizer that is Eddy Clash. Eddy had better be watching and had better be having second thoughts about everything. I'm hoping that my use of Lang as a whipping boy will eventually come to an end. He's super talented and I'd like to slap him with a manager to start moving him up the card. In the meantime, he's got a more important job here. Luscious trips up Lang as he goes for the Bitter Languish and when he turns his attention to her, she slips Zed the GAVEL OF DOOM. The ref goes to admonish Luscious and while Lang turns his attention back to Zed he's greeted with some solid justice to his forehead. The ref counts the pin and Zed has BUILT MOMENTUM! ****1/4, 81% overall
Backstage, Paul Andrews is with the Unified Tag Team Champions Simon Bennett and Adam Hail. Andrews isn't sure what the Royal Effect are trying to accomplish with all of their recent actions. The career of Paul Andrews alone overshadows anything McKay and Kavovit can ever hope to accomplish. Add in the stellar records of Bennett and Hail and that's a mountain that even the Royal Effect are going to have trouble overcoming. Bennett and Hail made their return because there was a whole lot left to prove and there's a whole lot left in the tank. You have two King of the Ring winners. A former Unified World Champion and Intercontinental Champion. McKay and Kavovit need to understand that experience is not on their side and talk will only carry you so far.
Third Match: C4 vs. The Lady Liberties
I realized I haven't used C4 in a while. Now is as good a time as any. The Liberties could also use some exposure...so to speak. Zoey in particular, am I right? Some good shit where, again, the talent has to work overtime to overcome the charisma deficiency. Carmella counters a victory roll from Katie and uses the ropes for leverage to score the cheap pin. Good shit all around and Brooke could use some good news at this point in time. ****1/2, 86% overall
Fourth Match: Jordan Demiras vs. Ziggy Styles
Ziggy Styles wants to know if Jordan is going to bring this match down with his toxic negativity. It's like bringing chips but no salsa. Where's the fun? Jordan reminds Ziggy way too much of Michael Haywood, dragging everyone into their whirlpool of depression and misery when it's nobody else's fault that their lives are in a rut. Ziggy Styles, however, claims that he is merciful and generous. Ziggy offers Jordan a chance to call things off right now and join Ziggy in getting his positive vibes back by getting Ziggy with it! Jordan takes the mic and declares that Ziggy reminds Jordan of someone, too. Ziggy has a lot in common with Michael Hotbody: the two of them have their own "show", a lot of hot air, a bunch of nonsense coming out of that big mouth of his, and it may or may not be positive but there's a huge aura surrounding him that just screams "jackass". And after No Mercy, Ziggy is going to have another thing in common with Michael Hotbody: his face smeared all over this God damn canvas. With that, Demiras kicks things off with a...uh, kick, by dropkicking Styles in the face and starting the match. More really good shit here as Styles looks like he's found his groove. Things seem to be going Jordan's way but Michael Hotbody comes running down, apparently really eager to show Jordan his Cruiserweight Title belt that he might win on Sunday but Hotbody apparently slips on some moisture in the ring and ends up smacking Jordan in the back of the head with the belt. The ref calls for the DQ and it's a good thing, too, because who knows who else could end up slipping on that? Hotbody slaps Jordan around in the face, no doubt trying to wake him up in order to apologize. Michael Haywood takes this opportunity to be a Debbie Downer by running down and chasing everyone off. *****, 94% overall
Backstage we are blessed to hear from Chris Collins. Collins is here to sadly report that once again Alexander Piero will not face him one-on-one as he had hoped due to Piero once again being a wuss and putting Madison above his own career. He had hoped to have another match with Piero at No Mercy but with Piero's mind being elsewhere, the whole card is stacked and now there's no room for either one of them! Collins is furious at Piero's selfishness and weakness taking money out of his pocket. Collins offers an ultimatum: face him on Raw after No Mercy or live in shame as a whipped waste of space!
Fifth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Cameron Harper
Cross is unfortunately in a holding pattern until Kyle Jacobs can come back. Better use him to get some awesome matches on the card. Cross wins this one pretty handily after hitting the Cross Cutter for the pin. *****, 94% overall
We go to a pretty sweet video package detailing the history between Haven and Wrakk. It goes back to Haven's King of the Ring victory last year that set everything in motion and documents their SummerSlam encounter. It's a battle of monsters this Sunday at No Mercy!
Sixth Match: The Perfections vs. The Southern Belle with Guest Referee Faith Connors
It's heel vs. heel here as we head into Sunday's triple threat match for the Women's Tag Team Titles. Faith is here to give the crowd someone to cheer. Although the Southern Belles are extra bitchy here so the Perfections have a little bit of support. Both teams give shit to Faith here and there for her officiating. Things come to a head when Nathan Quinn tries some of his interference on behalf of the Perfections. He has Faith's championship belt in hand but Hannah gets in his face on the outside. Bobbi Jo steals the belt from him as he's yelling back at Hannah and she clobbers Bonnie with it. Faith has been busy with Leah and she completely misses all of this. Faith drops down to count the pin giving the Belles the cheap win. Leah gives Faith and the Belles the stink eye as she checks on Bonnie. ****1/2, 90% overall
MAIN EVENT: Clubber Harris vs. Quinten McDaniels
Quinten McDaniels gets on the mic and claims that he's actually cool with a triple threat match this Sunday for the Intercontinental Title. He's just livid that Ryan Pattillo is also going to be competing for the belt. Pattillo's time went before it even came. Overall, Pattillo doesn't have a whole lot to be ashamed of. Actually, that's a lie. Pattillo has plenty to feel bad about and it's just going to be one more straw on the pile when Quinten McDaniels walks out of No Mercy as the NEW Intercontinental Champion! And afterwards, Seth and Ryan can go start a support group for dumb luck chumps and hug it out like the disappointments that they are! With that all said this match rules. McDaniels looks like he's going to steal a win here with some shenanigans but Ryan Pattillo apparently has heard and seen enough and certainly upset with all of the physical attacks and decides to rush the ring and get a piece of McDaniels. It's a DQ win for McDaniels and the two slug it out as we go off the air. *****, 95% overall
Overall Rating: 88%