[loopydate]

MARCH 17, 2005 - SUPERSTARS

The debut of Superstars is the first dud show of 2005 for World Wrestling Entertainment. Not a great sign for the fledgling brand. But that doesn't mean there aren't some mark-out moments.

We open things up with an eight-man tag match featuring a mix of old and new with Colt Cabana, Jay Briscoe, Teddy Hart, and Zach Gowan teaming up to take on Carlito, Johnny Jeter, and newcomers Jimmy Rave and Julio Dinero. Gowan and Jeter control most of the match for their respective teams, but in the end it's Dinero making his debut a successful one by pinning Briscoe following the Theater Of Dreams.

Payne and Sean O'Haire were on opposite sides of a brief feud on RAW, and tonight they each bring in a debuting tag team partner. O'Haire reunites with his former Natural Born Thrillers teammate Mike Sanders to take on Payne and Paul Heyman's new client "The Franchise" Shane Douglas! Eventually Payne succumbs to the Seanton Bomb to give the Thrillers the win. After the match, Douglas gets in Payne's face, blaming him for the loss.

It's a high-flying six-man tag match next as Brian Kendrick and Funaki team with newcomer Frankie Kazarian to take on the New Generation stable of BJ Whitmer, Christian York, and Trent Acid. Funaki and Acid spend most of the match on the sidelines, letting their teammates do the work. The match ends as it began with Kazarian and Whitmer facing off. Kazarian hits the Wave Of The Future for the win in his debut.

It's a pair of debuts next as Norman Smiley takes on Konnan, a match that Konnan asked for. You would think that if he asked for the match, it wouldn't suck. You'd be wrong. Eventually, Konnan hits the 187 for the win. After the match, Konnan continues his abuse, leaving Smiley laid out with stomps and kicks.

"Ladies and gentlemen... HUUUUUUUUULK HOOOOOOOGAAAAAAAN!!!!!" The crowd erupts as "Real American" hits the speakers and the Immortal One makes his way to the ring. He does his usual routine of poses and false modesty before grabbing a microphone. "That sounds great, dudes! Thank you." More wild cheering. "But you know something, this is Superstars. This is the first night of a new brand, a brand that promises all kinds of excitement. And brother, let me tell you about excitement. If any of you dudes have been following what's been going on outside of WWE, you've been hearing about a guy called AJ Styles. This is a guy who can fly, who can wrestle, who can brawl... And Superstars is proud to have him and his X Division Title! The X Division... it's not about weight limits. It's about no limits. And Superstars is gonna be the only place you can see these guys do what the Hulkster never could, brother! Tonight, AJ's gonna team with John Cena to take on Canadian Violence, and you're all gonna see just what I'm talkin' about. So whatcha gonna do, Benoit and Jericho, when the Phenomenal One, the X Division, and all these little Hulkamaniacs run wild on you?!?"

Our first of two title matches is up next as Intercontinental Champion Dave Batista defends the belt against the massive A-Train. Not a bad match, but the dud show continues. Batista retains successfully with the Figure-Four Leglock.

Three superstars who could very well define the X Division are up next in a triple threat match. It's Paul London versus Rico Constantino versus ECW alumnus Kid Kash! Exciting high-flying match that ends with London hitting London Calling on Kash for the win.

Our second title match of the evening features a debuting tag team. James Storm and Chris Harris, America's Most Wanted, are the reigning NWA Tag Team Champions, and they bring their titles with them to Superstars! They defend them tonight in a triple threat against Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli and a pair of WWE veterans teaming for the first time - Akio and William Regal (working as The Untouchables, an inside joke on the fact that they're both married to previously unknown daughters of the McMahon family and, thus, unsackable). Decent action that helps enhance the image of the titles, but AMW retain as Harris hits Akio with the Catatonic.

The Hurricane is out next for a match against Ron "The Truth" Killings, who briefly worked for WWE in the mid-'90s as K-Kwik. Killings' attitude has changed, though, as he resorts to several dirty tactics throughout the match. Eventually, he hits his True Conviction finisher to pick up the win.

Our main event could have been a great one if it wasn't a dud show. 100% crowd response and a 90% match quality for Cena and Styles against Canadian Violence, but only an 86 overall because of the dud. Styles looks like a million bucks in his WWE debut, but interference from the World Champion Christian results him getting locked in the Crippler Crossface, a move he has no choice but to tap out to. After the match, Christian goes to hit Styles with the Unprettier, but the lights go out in the arena. Suddenly, hard rock music starts blaring and strobe lights begin to fill the arena. When the lights finally come back up, Christian has released Styles, but has no idea that behind him is... STING!!! The icon blasts Christian with his trademark baseball bat before turning it on the other members of the Nova Scotia Cosa Nostra.

Christian brought the World Title to the ring with him, and Sting picks it up. He holds it above his head as he stands over the fallen champion, clearly sending the message that Sting has come to Superstars for that very championship. The first episode of Superstars fades to black with the silent assassin laying the championship across Christian's body and walking away.