[M-A-G]

Raw: January 7, 2041

Opening Match: WWE Intercontinental Title - Falls Count Anywhere
Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Chris Collins
As promised, we're kicking things off with this sucker. It was a banger at Bragging Rights and it'll certainly be a banger here, no? Seth's been a fighting champion since winning the thing back at Summerslam and it's been tough to call as who can end this run and when. Collins gives it his all here to his credit. It's a fun brawl that spills into the crowd. We eventually end up at a merchandise stand as the two ruin some poor sap's day. Collins sends Seth crashing into the set up and tries choking the champion out with one of his own T-shirts. Seth responds by smacking Collins with a replica title belt, causing Collins to release his grasp. Seth finishes things by putting Collins through one of the tables with the Collapse of Society and gets the pin fall to retain the championship!

Well, that was wild to say the least. Post-match, Seth limps away in triumph BUT HERE COMES RONNIE COSTELLO!!! WTF IS HE DOING? Well, he's kicking Seth's ass apparently. He gets in some good shots after knocking the champion down and then caps things off by sending Seth through another merch stand. Brooke is evidently VERY serious with her claims about her clients. Ronnie walks off satisfied as we get officials down to the scene to check on Seth. ****1/2, 93% overall.

To the back we go where Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper are getting ready. Jake Connelly comes in to offer some words of wisdom as both men are going to be taking part in that battle royal tonight for that number 29 spot in the Rumble. Jake points out that while it sucks that there can only be one winner, if the two of them can be unified, they can assure that at least that one can be either Ethan or Cameron. Jake also emphasizes that he doesn't want any hard feelings, no matter what happens out there. Ethan says he's fine with it, but Cameron merely clutches the framed photo he gave to Jake and walks off. What's going on here?

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time as our illustrious General Manager Lisa Benton comes out to address the crowd for what's sure to be a huge announcement. She takes the mic and tells the crowd that she hopes they enjoy the rest of the show, despite her announcement that she's going to reveal right now. "Almost 40 years ago, I sat in the middle of an excited wrestling crowd much like this one and was mesmerized and captivated by what I witnessed in this ring. In what was merely a chore that my brother had to do in taking me along, it became the beginning point of the path that defined not just my career, but my life. Now I stand here at another crossroads, with more than 30 years spent in this business in one form or another. It's high time that I reflect on what I'm going to do from here on out, especially with the announcement that I have for you tonight. So if you please, in the back, let's cue up the video." Lisa gestures to the big screen and we're shown a highlight package of Lisa Benton's career, interspersed with talking heads giving their insight on her as a person and performer. It ends with the announcement that Lisa Benton is the first member of this year's Hall of Fame class! And she's being inducted by Riott!

We return to the arena with a tearful Lisa and the crowd in thunderous applause, voicing their approval of this turn of events. Lisa composes herself as she continues. "I don't know if there's anything that can top something like that. I take it as the ultimate compliment from my peers, my superiors, and definitely from all of you, the people who have allowed me to take part in this journey that has been my dream. But the flipside to that is that I have to take it as a sign that I may need to head off into the sunset. So it's with a heavy heart that I will be resigning as General Manager at the end of this month." The crowd reacts with shock and voice their displeasure, but Lisa presses on. "It's not a decision that I make lightly, but looking back at all the years and being reminded of the body of work I created and with this upcoming induction, I feel like I can go home proud of all I've accomplished. I feel blessed for having this career, one that a lot of people can only dream about, but all good things must end. In their wake, there may be tears, but there is an opportunity for new good things to be born."

Cue the music of The Royal Rumble Winning Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, The Lord of the Ladder and Conqueror of Fears, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He's got a smile 5 miles wide on his face and just exudes giddiness as he comes down to the ring, interrupting Lisa. He gets on a mic and gets to work expressing his sentiments. "It must be my birthday and no one told me! Is this for real? Like, seriously? Are we finally going to be free of the tyranny that is Lisa Benton's reign of suck as the General Manager? My God, between Christmas and Luscious and I celebrating New Year's and me retaining my Cruiserweight Title, this is just an overload of excitement! I'd ask what I've done to deserve such great news, but to hell with that; I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth! This is an amazing night, to say the least. I can't believe it. Somebody pinch me because I think I'm dreaming! Lisa, it's been real, but I think I speak for a good chunk of us when I tell you don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out! In fact, I don't see any reason why you should wait until the end of the month to call it quits. There's the exit right there! Don't let me stop you! You can go sailing off to the old folks' home right now!"

"You know, if there's one thing I'm not going to miss, it's dealing with your sorry ass, Michael," Lisa fires back. "But I had a feeling that you'd come out here. It's just in your nature to be a giant prick."

"Hey, you can't cal..."

"SHUT UP! I'm still the damn boss and I'm still capable of making your life miserable if I see fit. Like I said, I knew you'd be here so I came prepared to make another announcement, this one concerning your next title defense that will take place at the Royal Rumble event. You see, last week you made a claim that if there was anybody who had a winning record like you, then you'd be able to not only face them, but beat them as well. Well, Michael, I'm giving you a chance to prove that statement, because I did find someone with a spotless winning record that you're going to have to face for that Cruiserweight Title. It's going to be the battle of two undefeated superstars at the Royal Rumble! So let's not waste anymore time and let's bring him out. Michael, you're going to be defending that championship against this man..."

Lisa points to the stage, signaling that she wants her planned opponent to come on out. Michael Hotbody looks confused and worried as he looks to the entr...HOLY SHIT!!! IT'S NEIL QUINT!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS! The rookie comes down to the ring and shakes Lisa's hand as Michael is livid. Neil takes the mic and speaks his mind. "Lisa, it'll be an honor to take part of this match, not only because it'll be one of your last acts as General Manager, but I get to live out my own dream. And speaking of dreams, Michael, I don't know about pinching, but I do know another good way to tell that you're not dreaming." And with that statement, Neil drops the mic and slaps the taste out of Michael's mouth, sending the champion reeling. He turns back to Neil who drops into a fighting stance, making Michael think twice about this course of action and he decides to roll out of the ring in frustration. It's going to be streak versus streak at the Rumble!

Second Match: Dusk vs. Cordelia Capriati
Carmella Costello makes her way to the announce table, joining the team to lend her insights into Cordelia. Well, it's more like she wants to rag on her former partner and talk about how she's inferior. Carmella goes on to say that Cordelia left at the worst possible time because Brooke has a newfound focus. What Ronnie Costello did earlier to Seth Von Kamp is only the beginning. Carmella says that she'll prove how much better she is than Cordelia by winning some gold for herself. Carmella continues her spiel as this match goes on. Dusk continues to be a brutal, glorious mess of a performer...in a good way, allowing Cordelia to work out the kinks in her newly-acquired role as a face. Cordelia makes a comeback and it looks like she's in prime position to come off the top to hit Dusk with the Crowning Achievement, but Carmella leaves the table and goes to shove Cordelia off, causing her to land throat-first on the top rope. That's going to be a DQ, but Carmella enters the ring to try to put some more hurt on Cordelia. HERE COMES JENNA KYLE!!! Carmella makes the smart move of bailing, leaving Dusk to take the brunt of Jenna's flurry. Dusk pie faces Jenna away, giving her an opportunity to roll of the ring before things get too bad. Jenna stands tall as Cordelia starts to come around and they glare at the two heels as we go to break. ****1/2, 89% overall.

Third Match: Vivian Merrick and the Future Foundation vs. Madison and The Wyldhearts
Vivian Merrick throws the names of her boys into the hat as another team that deserves a shot at the Wyldhearts for the Tag Team Titles. Well, this seems like a good opportunity for them to make their case. Madison still has the goods as far as being able to work a match. Robbie plays face-in-peril for the majority of the match. It's interesting to revisit this combination now that roles are reversed. Anyway, the women get to be legal participants after the hot tag and Madison lets Vivian have it. The Future Foundation break up a pinfall attempt by pulling Madison off of Vivian. The Wyldhearts come in to take the Future Foundation to the outside, leaving the women alone to continue the match. Vivian ends up on the apron, but Madison tries to suplex her back into the ring. Rick Hilton is on the case, yanking Madison's foot from under her, causing Vivian to fall on top of Madison in a pin attempt. Rick holds down Madison's feet, preventing her from kicking out and Vivian is going to steal the pin for the heels. Well, this is going to stick in the craw of the champions. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Fourth Match: Simon Bennett vs. L.A. Xander
Paul Andrews joins the announce team to continue to make the case for Simon Bennett being the next challenger for Wrakk's WWE Unified World Title. He points out that Bennett has been there before and since Adam Hail is no longer a factor, he can focus on leading a client to the biggest prize in the land. He asks us all to consider the story that can be told here: the prodigal son known as Simon Bennett returning to the fold, conquering adversity, overcoming betrayal, and making it to the main event of WrestleMania, Unified World Championship in hand. The team continues discussing this proposal as L.A.X. and Bennett continue a pretty solid match. Bennett continues making a good case for his claim to the number one contender status by finishing L.A.X. off pretty strong with a submission win with the Bennett Lock. Wrakk comes out onto the stage post-match to stare at Bennett with a smirk on his face. ****1/2, 92% overall.

To the back we go again where Andrea is with Victor Dark. She points out how it's been a little more than a month since their arrival, and so far, the destruction of Haven is coming along fairly slowly...if it's even happening at all. She claims that she and Victor have patience for a lot of things, but the thought of Haven's broken body and soul has been on their minds for far too long. Maybe Haven was right about one thing. Maybe Victor does need to get...physical. Victor chimes in by stating Friday seems like a good time...although he won't count out anytime before.

Fifth Match: Leah vs. Debra Phillips
I'm doing what I can to get Debra some much needed experience under her belt to set her up to be a solid hand in the women's division. I don't see championships in her future, but who knows? I do know this match is hella rough. Neither one of these ladies has it going in the charisma department. Factor in Debra's low over rating and we end up with this. It's not TERRIBLE, but we've had much better. Debra tries to bail as the ref checks on Leah, but Ainsley, continuing her little feud with Debra, comes running down to grab Debra and send her back into the ring. Debra yells her anger over this at Ainsley, but Leah capitalizes by drop kicking Debra from behind, sending her into the ropes and rebounding into a roll up from Leah to give her the win. ***1/4, 79% overall.

Ugh, that one was probably a mistake to do in hindsight.

Backstage we see Chris Collins, looking like he's on his way out of the arena and pissed as all hell. He runs into Kyle Jacobs who is talking with some officials. He tries walking past, but stops and goes to get in Kyle's face claiming that he looked at him funny. He asks if Kyle thinks it's funny that Chris didn't win the Intercontinental Title tonight. Kyle claims he doesn't care because he's got his own problems to worry about. He's about to go win the number 29 spot in the battle royal tonight. He suggests that Chris go get his head straight because being this close to Kyle in the mood he's in is asking for trouble. Chris merely shakes his head in frustration and backs off slowly before continuing on his way.

Sixth Match: The Love Connection vs. Galino & Farnes
With a good chunk of the guys being involved in the main event, it's good to be able to do these kinds of matches for the rest of the show. Aphrodite dismisses Vivian's claim of the Future Foundation being the team that deserves a chance at the Unified Tag Team Titles. She thinks it's time that some love and real sexiness get brought into the tag team championship scene. Madison may have some heart throbs, but they don't hold a candle to the Love Connection. Bold words and Caleb and Stanley do their best to live up to them here. We're back on track with the match quality here as these two teams play well off of each other. The Love Connection get Galino alone and have him set up for the Lovestruck 2.0, but the Royal Effect, apparently taking up the offer of a fight, come storming into the ring and lay waste to the faces causing a DQ. Kavovit stalks Aphrodite on the outside while McKay lays out Greene and Coleman with a Mass Effect to each one. Kavovit tells Aphrodite that's what she asked for and he takes his leave with McKay. The tag team scene is getting ugly. ****1/2, 91% overall.

MAIN EVENT: 20-Man Open Invitation Battle Royal
This was set up due to Brandon Reigns picking number 29 for the Rumble, but electing to put it for grabs for some other lucky schmo and thus we have this. Brandon himself even comes out to gloat about it and claims he's going to be sitting at ringside for this match and will personally hand over the number to whoever wins it. Just like he's going to be sitting at ringside for WrestleMania's main event, ready to pounce and cash in the Money in the Bank contract. He claims that his road to WrestleMania is already locked in and he's going to have the time of his life watching everyone else scratch and claw all over each other to get theirs.

So for this match we've got:
Alexander Piero
Xavier Cross
Zed Jones
Orlando Kincaid
Quinten McDaniels
Chet Morris
Lyle Morris
Ziggy Styles
Jason Sorola
Michael Haywood
Clubber Harris
Kyle Jacobs
Eddy Clash
Ethan Lang
Cameron Harper
Kerry Cemenko
Hugo
Lonny Richards

That's quite the collection. Two separate groups form to each try to take Eddy and Hugo out at the beginning of the match. It goes nowhere as they're able to fight off the horde and make their way to each other to slug it out. Lyle manages to eliminate himself and Chet as he tackles his cousin over the top with a Cactus Clothesline. Chet manages to send Lyle into the steps, giving him the means to escape. The match continues and Ethan and Cameron eventually get into the groove and eliminate Lonny as a team. Ziggy is the next to go at their hands. Quinten does his damndest to hide from Orlando, with the latter having to stop his pursuit every now and then to ward off anyone coming to get him. Kerry gets in a verbal scuffle with Brandon. Taking his eye off the ball ends up costing him as Quinten sends him over the top to eliminate him. Brandon taunts Kerry and it looks like a fight is going to break out but the officials get in the way. They miss Jason being eliminated by Michael Haywood. Jason slips back in and tosses Michael and the officials see THAT. Sorola feels oh-so proud of himself, but he then falls victim to Ethan and Cameron's teamwork and he gets dumped officially. Eddy is getting worked over by Piero and Kyle. Ethan and Cameron go to help. Cameron tries going for Eddy's legs and manages to lift Eddy up and over but Ethan goes over the top with Eddy in a double elimination. Ethan is all "WTF", but Cameron doesn't seem to notice. He tries going for Orlando, but Orlando turns the tables on him and manages to hit the OK Corall. Orlando dumps Cameron Harper for his first elimination. Cross gets thrown out by Clubber Harris. Hugo and Quinten are the new double team threat as they work over Piero. Zed hammers away on Clubber in the corner. He charges Clubber, looking to land a big boot, but Clubber moves out of the way and Zed gets his foot on the top rope. That leaves him vulnerable to getting dumped by Harris. Kyle gets into the groove and goes on an explosive run of offense. That gets put to a halt when Chris Collins comes down to ringside to get Kyle's attention. Kyle gestures to Chris to get the hell out of here, but Chris stands defiant and taunts Kyle. Quinten and Hugo take the opportunity to double team Kyle into oblivion. They then proceed to dump Kyle to end his night. Hugo tries charging Orlando who's leaning against the ropes, but Orlando low bridges him and Hugo goes stumbling over the top to send him packing. Quinten tries his luck with Orlando and the two struggle against the ropes, each trying to force the other over. Harris comes over to break the tie and dumps them both, leaving himself and Alexander Piero.

We get a solid mini-match here from these two and...wait a minute. Is the count off? Did we miss someone being eliminated? Seems like the count is off. Oh, well, it's good shit from these two as the pace and intensity pick up as Brandon looks on. Harris finally looks like he's got things well in hand as he goes to throw Piero over but Piero locks his legs around Clubber's head and uses the momentum to pull Clubber over the top via a head scissors and he's the last one left in the ring! Piero has don...WAIT A MINUTE!!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE RING BEHIND PIERO??? IT'S BUTCH FLEMING!!! WTF?!?!?!?! He hasn't been seen since SummerSlam!!! Piero doesn't see him! Butch spins Piero around and clotheslines him down viciously. Piero is too spent to fight back and Butch takes advantage of this surprise assault and tosses Piero over the top for the actual final elimination. Oh, dear God, that means Butch Fleming gets to enter the Rumble at number 29! Brandon Reigns looks as surprised as everyone. Butch goes over to the Money in the Bank holder and smiles in his face. Brandon merely holds up the number and Butch snatches it out of his hand. Holy hell, has the landscape of the Rumble changed or what? 88% overall.

Overall show rating: 86%