[Evil Vito]

End of month notes for April:

Thunder Rosa once again increases her wage demand by 10%. JUST SIGN WITH ME DAMMIT!!!

Happy birthday to: Diamond Dallas Page (65), Vickie Guerrero (53), Dustin Rhodes (52), Jack Evans (39), Scorpio Sky (37), Chuck Taylor (34), Dasha Fuentes (31), Dr. Britt Baker DMD (30), Nick Comoroto (29), Marq Quen (27)

And with that, I have two more retirements as Vickie and Dustin have decided to leave at the end of the month. I'm losing nothing in Vickie, she was off-screen for 2 months and has a bad charisma rating so I'd never actually book her in an interview segment with Nyla Rose. I just didn't release her and I mostly am just letting contracts lapse if I don't want to keep people.

Dustin on the other hand is a more unfortunate worse. He was a solid brawler still but of course the ring work took a bigger hit with that age jump. Still, 87 charisma meant he could've had some use in another non-wrestling capacity. It's a shame non-wrestlers can't be converted to managers. Maybe he'll decide to become a staff member or something, I wonder if you have to re-sign workers who convert to staff or if they just move over automatically, if it's the latter Dustin's on an unsackable deal.

Elsewhere in the wrestling world...Chris Payne, Miguelito Perez, Pimpinela Escarlata, Shawn Daivari, Super Shisa, and Villano IV have announced they will retire at the end of May.


AEW Dark: May 4, 2021:
-Serena Deeb def. Yuka Sakazaki
-The Butcher and the Blade def. Billy and Colten Gunn
-Colt Cabana def. Matt Sydal
-Allie def. Leva Bates
-Adam Page def. Joey Janela


AEW Dynamite: May 5, 2021

Segment 1:

MJF and the Inner Circle are out to open their show and explain their actions from last week, when they disrespected Sting in his farewell to wrestling. The group again states their goal in trying to purge the company of all the old-timers holding back the business.

Cody comes out to express disgust, even for MJF, those actions were a new low. MJF says the Inner Circle's disdain isn't just with the legends, but with all of the nostalgia for yesteryear, and being a Rhodes boy running a promotion he's too blind to see he's stuck in the ways of his old man.

Cody's heard enough and begins to walk down the aisle, he is soon joined by his brother with a bullrope in hand, as well as Darby Allin with his skateboard who has a score to settle after his mentor got jumped. They're outnumbered 3 on 6 but as so fired up they manage to hold their own for a hot minute before security break up the brawl.

Dustin grabs the mic and lays into the group for disrespecting the legacies not just of the legends but all of the second and third generation stars in the business. One of those Inner Circle guys better step up to the plate because they're gonna get a Natural ass whooping. 87% overall


Segment 2:

Spoiler alert: Dustin is retiring so The Natural will not in fact be whooping ass and he's in full blown "put over everyone" mode.

The challenge is answered by MJF's bodyguard Wardlow. The two big guys have themselves a nice old school hoss fight. It's not a squash but the purpose is very much to put Wardlow's strength over. It got a solid 82% quality but the overall rating was lower than the quality and crowd reaction, so I think my streak of Dudless Dynamites is over. ***, 67% overall


Segment 3:

Backstage with Kenny Omega, Don Callis, and Karl Anderson. They talk about Karl's match with PAC tonight. Callis says there has been way too much slander about Omega's talents. So out of the goodness of his heart and for the benefit of the viewers, next week he'll be running an open gauntlet. The sign up sheet is behind them, and next week Kenny will be showing the whole world that there is not a wrestler in the world who can match his technical proficiency, cunning, and endurance.

As the group takes their leave, PAC and Rey Fenix walk into view from the other side, and appear to be the first names on the gauntlet sheet. Kenny might be getting more than he bargained for!


Segment 4:

"The Native Beast" Nyla Rose makes her in-ring return against Big Swole. The two appear to have some decent chemistry and put together a solid hard-hitting match as a result. Rose gets the Beast Bomb for the victory as Awesome Kong watches from the stage. I think we know who her next challenger is going to be. Alas, another bad rating. I'd gotten lucky with my Dud shows only landing on Dark, but that streak is definitely over. ***, 66% overall


Segment 5:

Jon Moxley is backstage searching for Miro, but can only find Penelope Ford. Knowing her association with Miro, Mox demands answers on where to find him but Ford plays dumb. Mox is eventually jumped by Miro as well as Kip Sabian for the two on one beatdown. Mox and Miro dropped a bit of overness, Kip gained. I swear this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've done this, one really unover guy drags others down. Gotta stop doing that. Silly me. In any event between the three of them, three very sexy blonde wives so good on them. 72% overall


Segment 6:

TNT Champion "The Machine: Brian Cage is out but tonight he's actually defending the FTW Championship because I forgot I even had it (though it's mostly just a prop). He's facing Scorpio Sky of SCU. They have a really good match that the snowflake rating reflects but, alas, non-clicky show.

The ref ejects Team Taz from ringside during the match but doesn't see Shawn Spears clobber Sky at ringside with a chair, Spears acting at Tully/FTR's behest in their vow to get revenge on SCU. Cage bring Sky in for the Drill Claw and gets the win. ****, 74% overall

Cage doesn't get to celebrate long before the Best Friends music hits as out comes Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor for our next bout!


Segment 7:

It's our first match in a 4-team mini tournament to decide who will get a Tag Title shot against the Young Bucks at Double or Nothing. Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor vs. Santana and Ortiz of the Inner Circle. Much like the last match, this one was awesome with a lot of fast paced offense sprinkled in with some damn good psychology from the very experienced Santana and Ortiz.

Match eventually breaks down with all 4 guys in the ring going at it. For some reason, Taz is out on the apron for a distraction which leads to Brian Cage pulling Orange outside the ring and ramming him into the barricade. I guess he felt upstaged by OC the last couple of weeks. This throws Chuckie T off as well and he takes a Street Sweeper to end it. Santana and Ortiz advance. ****, 81% overall


Segment 8:

Eddie Kingston puts himself over in an interview. He boasts about his victory over Lance Archer last week, shrugging off accusations that it was an ill-gotten win because it was no DQ, anything goes. Kingston goes on to declare himself the toughest son of a bitch in this business, and he's gonna prove it when he takes his place as AEW World Champion. And that starts in a few weeks as he's the first man to throw his name into the hat for the Casino Battle Royale at Double or Nothing. 92% overall


Segment 9:

We're supposed to be getting Hangman Page and The Young Bucks vs. The Hardy Party......but somehow The Dark Order's dressing room has been welded shut! Who could have possibly paid someone off to do that? Certainly not "Big Money" Matt Hardy!

Anyway the trios match proceeds on with The Young Bucks recruiting childhood friend Brandon Cutler as their replacement partner. Cutler's been slumming it development at AEW Dark for the past few months, and this is our first time seeing him on Dynamite in some time.

Bucks vs. Private Party was a classic last week but adding Hardy and Cutler dragged it down a bit (but still good). Hardy can go against the right opponent but at his age he can't really keep up with fast paced Young Bucks offense. Lucky for him though Cutler is effectively a jobber and here to eat the pin, punches Cutler in the nads and rolls him up for the win as the tag teams brawled outside. ***, 69% overall

Matt celebrates his win over a man with one of the worst records in AEW history way too much, and suddenly the Dark Order theme hits as Hangman leads the group's charge out. The whole Dark Order group has flashier gear on! Crowd in a frenzy as Private Party eat Buckshot Lariats.


Segment 10:

As Matt retreats up the ramp, Kurt Angle's theme hits - apparently he's here to deliver even more bad news for Matt. Last week Angle booked Hardy Party vs. Bucks and Page as his first ever order with AEW, and Matt went ahead and ruined it. And it sure seems like the Hardy Party, Dark Order, hell even Angle himself can't seem to stop themselves from getting involved. So how bout we settle it one final time. Hangman vs. Matt Hardy next week, steel cage. Matt is not happy with this, but Hangman can drink to that. 88% overall


Segment 11:

PAC vs. Karl Anderson in the main event - a good match for sure but the outcome is something of a foregone conclusion as we continue to build to the final stage of the PAC/Omega feud. Omega attempts to intervene but Rey Fenix cuts Kenny off at the pass. PAC forces Anderson to submit to the Brutalizer. Imagine the horror Kenny will have when he realizes both of these guys signed up for the Gauntlet. PAC and Fenix stand tall to close us out. ***1/4, 75% overall

77% show rating...not bad for a non-clicking show