Raw: July 30, 2040
Last show of the month as we begin the march to SummerSlam! We open with the winner of the King of the Ring Tournament, the 3-time Unified World Champion Noah Carmichael. He wants to make it clear that he's not out here to be handed a scepter or have a crown placed on his head or to sit on his ass in a giant throne. There are trinkets and then there is real treasure. Real treasure like the gold that Butch Fleming parades around. That's the end game here; the key word being 'end'. Carmichael is aware that this struggle between himself and Fleming has felt like an eternity and that closure is in order so he's going to aim to bring that closure to the people. So while he may not be demanding robes and chalices and scepters and fancy ceremonies, Carmichael does feel entitled to at least one royal decree as it pertains to his title match at SummerSlam against Butch Fleming. With that said, if Fleming has the stomach and the balls, Carmichael wants this match to be the definitive one between the two of them...Carmichael demands that this match be...HELL IN A CELL! Think it over, Fleming; he'll be waiting.
Backstage, Martyn LaSalle makes his way through the arena and runs into Luscious, who looks like she's been waiting on him to arrive. Luscious immediately apologizes in a frantic tone for what happened last night. Hotbody was being such a jerk and when he shoved her down he crossed a line and she was just blinded by rage and the next thing she knew she was slapping him across the face. She asks for forgiveness and wants to try to make it up to LaSalle somehow. Maybe she can work some of sort of deal with Lisa Benton and get him another match or something?
LaSalle waves her off and tries to keep his cool. "Look, I'm here to call out Michael Hotbody myself and challenge him to be a man about this. I'm working my own angle here. That's a very much appreciated offer on your behalf, but, officially you're not my manager so I can't assure you that you'd be successful. I'll handle this on my own."
"Well, I can at least try..."
"Listen, you're nice and all and you most certainly have a future as far as managing goes. A lot of guys would be lucky to have you in their corner but as of right now, I need you to back off of this one."
Luscious looks hurt and dejected but nods in acceptance. "I get it. I'll take a step back. I probably should have done that last night. Listen, if you ever change your mind...or are interested in exploring other avenues, I'll be here." And with that Luscious leans in and locks lips with LaSalle! She departs smiling leaving LaSalle in shock.
First Match: Clubber Harris and The Wyldhearts vs. Chris Collins and the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Future Foundation
Vivian Merrick mocks everyone for thinking she'd want anything to do with a bunch of scrubs like The Wyldhearts. She already has a pair of winners in her brother Julian and the greatest lover she's ever known, Rick Hilton. She had hoped to cause enough of a rift between Greer and Bellamey to the point where the Future Foundation would capitalize and eliminate them from the equation. She warns the Wyldhearts to know their limits. Aside from that we've got some great six-man action here. The end comes when Harris takes care of Vivian's attempts at tomfoolery by ramming her brother into her, knocking her off the apron, followed by the Club Pain for the pin. ****1/2, 92% overall.
Backstage, Billie Padgett is proud of what she did last night in costing Tania the Women's Title. She thinks that it was cute that Tania thought she could become champion and that Billie would just ignore their history. Tania doesn't know real suffering and hardship...but she will.
Second Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Zachary Vale
I should probably get a manager for Vale, too. Anyways, the cruiserweight quota must be reached somehow and if it involves continuing the push for Shawn Dangerson, so be it. Another terrific outing here for Dangerson as he scores another tap out win by locking in the Danger Zone. ****1/2, 90% overall.
In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns. He's out here demanding the people thank him for what he did last night in getting rid of someone like Conner Buchanan. The people shouldn't be sad. They should be hopeful; hopeful that a new dawn in the WWE will be approaching. It will arrive, he assures us, as long as he's around and as long as he is in possession of the Money in the Bank contract and the Intercontinental Title. As far as Seth Von Kamp goes, last night he got his little burst of revenge for what happened to him in the tournament. He let out his aggression, you people got to cheer, and everyone went home. Fine. That's the end of that as far as Reigns is concerned. Seth got his pound of flesh so Reigns wants nothing more to do with him and that's final!
Naturally Seth Von Kamp isn't having any of this and decides to come out and run to the ring looking to get him some more of Reigns. Reigns repeatedly shouts at Seth to not do this and that it's over between them. Seth isn't having it so Reigns decides to make his exit.
Backstage, Nathan Quinn approaches Hannah McCormick and wants to thank her for joining his and Leah's cause against Jenna Kyle. Hannah simply nods in acknowledgment and continues about her business. Nathan says that this is the point where Hannah is supposed to thank Leah for helping Hannah get the win last night. Hannah claims that she could have got that win on her own and to make things clear, Hannah had her own vendetta against Jenna Kyle. Hannah accuses Nathan and Leah of leeching off of her and walks away.
Third Match: Jamie Roderick and Frankie vs. Cordelia and Carmella Costello
Hmmm...women in tag teams...certainly that's not a hint of things to come, right?
Anyways, despite not being the most charismatic on the roster, these ladies are still a hell of a hand, work-wise. Roderick scores the tap out win by slapping the Roderick Legacy on Cordelia. ****1/2, 88% overall.
Soap Opera Time with Martyn LaSalle as he enters the ring and polls the audience as to whether or not they think he had things in hand last night and should be standing here the new cruiserweight champion. The crowd seems to be on his side and LaSalle approves and uses this as proof that he deserves another shot at Hotbody. LaSalle knows he's asking for a lot but he stand here demanding that Hotbody actually act like a man and a real champion and accept the challenge.
Hotbody does indeed come out to the stage to respond but he's got Luscious with him by her hair! Hotbody doesn't answer to LaSalle or the wench that he's got in his hand. Hotbody isn't going to be sucked into whatever conspiracy she and LaSalle are cooking up. If LaSalle wants another title match, he can come down right now and try to beat one out of Hotbody!
LaSalle has seen enough and runs down to help Luscious and Hotbody lets her go ready to fight. LaSalle looks to take a swing at Hotbody....AND LUSCIOUS SPRAYS LASALLE IN THE FACE WITH SOMETHING!!! WTF IS GOING ON?!?!? Hotbody dances happily around LaSalle as he writhes in agony on the ground...THEN SHARES A KISS WITH LUSCIOUS!!! Have they been in cahoots this whole time?!? Hotbody takes a break from the tonsil hockey to pick up LaSalle and ram him into the stage followed by tossing him off. Luscious then kisses Hotbody some more in celebration.
Fourth Match: Haven vs. Steve Hayes
Haven continues to be in a foul mood as he has yet to get to the bottom of the mysteriousness that's been plaguing him. Fortunately he's able to turn some of that aggression into something positive as he scores a decisive win here after the Sting of Solace. The lights go loopy again and the word 'SOON' once again flashes on the big screen. ****1/2, 93% overall.
MAIN EVENT: WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming and Salvatore Scabbia vs. Noah Carmichael and Ryan Pattillo
More chaos than a regular match as the emotions are running extremely high here. So high to the point where Fleming looks to use one of his title belts on Carmichael but the King of the Ring ducks it and grabs the other belt and clocks the champion for the DQ. More brawling closes us out for this edition of Raw. ****1/2, 93% overall.
Overall show rating: 89%