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SmackDown!: July 27, 2040
It's the final show before King of the Ring! NOBODY SCREW THIS UP!!! I'M LOOKING AT YOU, ZED!!!
We open with Chris Collins out in the ring ready to air his grievances with Clubber Harris. Collins thought that he had made himself clear that there wasn't to be any hard feelings between and Harris concerning the King of the Ring. OK, so Collins might have overstepped by pulling a fast one in their match but it's nothing to be petty over and certainly not worth knocking his ass down last week. He offers this time as an opportunity for Harris and come out and apologize and ask for Collins' forgiveness.
Naturally Clubber Harris comes out to be all scary and intimidating and what not. He wants to say that he is indeed sorry...sorry for ever thinking Collins was any kind of real man. It's real simple, says Harris; Collins tried to pull a fast one in the King of the Ring tournament and now he has to suffer the consequences. Hell, there's no reason that can't happen right now! Harris makes his way down to the ring and Collins is prepared but Lisa Benton comes out to put a halt to all of this. We've had too much craziness with brawls and what not these last few weeks so everyone needs to calm down. If the two of them are so fixated on this, they can hash it out at King of the Ring!
First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Lyle Morris
Sorry, Lyle, but your partner was an idiot and thus you get to be the next victim. A hot opener to say the least and Dangerson continues his momentum with another submission win via the Danger Zone. *****, 94% overall.
In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with Luscious. She wants to make it clear that as of yet, nothing official has been put into action between her and Martyn LaSalle but she is hopeful. She would absolutely love to be able to manage the Cruiserweight champion and from there, who knows? She has her eyes on a lot of potential clients and if there are any sour pusses out there who want to cry about getting looked over, well, too bad.
Naturally, Michael Hotbody feels the need to interject here. He wants to know who does she think she's kidding? She's no closer to getting to manage LaSalle than she was two weeks ago. If nothing else it kind of proves that LaSalle really doesn't let himself get distracted when he's determined so thanks should be in order for that, at least. That's fine according to Hotbody because he's got the superior skills anyway and LaSalle is going to be in for one of the biggest disappointments in his life, right next to apparently never losing his virginity! Or maybe Luscious can tell us otherwise? From all accounts, she spent an awfully long time in that locker room alone with LaSalle. Hotbody's dying to know if LaSalle is just as big of a failure in that area, too. Luscious stands defiant and claims that she's willing to bet LaSalle is twice the man Hotbody is...in EVERY area. Hotbody doesn't take to kindly to this and shoves Luscious into the corner and verbally threatens her some more. Things look pretty bad for quite a bit until finally Martyn LaSalle apparently has seen enough and runs down to get him some of Hotbody. He checks on Luscious after knocking Hotbody down. She seems alright but that's enough of an opening to where Hotbody can land a low blow and then proceeds to beat down LaSalle. He poses for approval and takes his leave as Luscious looks at LaSalle with concern.
Second Match: Salvatore Scabbia vs. Michael Haywood
According to Brooke, Haywood demanded this match to stand up for Ryan Pattillo. It's not a crime to be stupid, she claims, but it's still stupid. Despite not being a cruiserweight, Haywood is still the underdog here as he gets tossed and beaten about. His comeback is cut off by the sudden appearance of Moses McKay jumping on the apron yelling at Haywood. Scabbia takes advantage with the Omerta and Haywood passes out giving Scabbia the win. Ryan Pattillo runs down with a chair to even the odds and the heels bail. ****1/2, 92% overall.
Backstage, Naomi Bailey proudly shows off her Women's Title. Naomi wants to know what kind of hardship Tania had to go through in her life. When she first showed up in the WWE she walked around bragging about her Beverly Hills high society lifestyle. Naomi is from the hard knocks. She pulled herself from the bottom to be able to have the right to call herself both queen AND champion. Tania has no room to talk about hard work and no room to talk about deserving to be champion. After this Sunday, she'll be more than qualified to talk about being in an actual fight...if she's capable of talking at all.
Third Match: The Young Bloods vs. Caleb Greene and Stanley Coleman
Might as well keep Greene and Coleman as a permanent team. The division could use a boost and some new faces in the mix. Might as well keep them on a roll, too, as they pick up the win here after Greene hits Sully Lane with the Greene With Envy for the pin. *****, 94% overall.
We get Paul Andrews sitting down with Conner Buchanan backstage. Everyone's been asking if Conner is sure about the decision he's made in regards to putting his career on the line against Brandon Reigns' Intercontinental Title. Buchanan certainly doesn't feel ready to hang things up but the chance to once again wear that title is too tempting. It's a siren summoning him and it's either feast or famine at the end of the trip. Plus there are number of receipts that Brandon Reigns is due. Conner isn't just fighting for himself but for an idea; the idea that you don't forget who brought you to the dance. It's a must-win situation this Sunday for Conner; there are no other options.
Fourth Match: Julian Merrick vs. Robbie Greer
Both men want that sweet, sweet momentum going into the Unified Tag Team Championship match this Sunday. If this is any indication, that match is going to rule as these two work phenomenally well together. Rick Hilton tries his hand at helping out by hopping up on the apron but he notices Blaine Bellamey getting a little too close to Vivian Merrick. He wastes time shouting threats at Blaine and Robbie shoves Julian into Rick, knocking him off and thus Robbie scores the pin off a roll up. The Future Foundation decide to bail afterwards in anger. *****, 94% overall.
More in-ring talky time as Hannah McCormick decides now is a good time to come out and berate everyone for continuing to put their loyalty and devotion into two people like Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle. Hannah has been hearing the critiques from everyone about how Jenna and Faith are the favorites this Sunday because of the greater experience they have teaming together as opposed to Leah and Hannah. Well it is only natural that two egomaniacs like them would be on the same page but it's nothing that Hannah can't handle. The pure disdain that she and Leah have for Faith and Jenna and all of the undeserved adoration they get from their idiot fans here and at home watching is more than enough fuel to take them down and then you'll see what Hannah McCormick is all about! Faith Connors has heard enough and decides to run down to the ring to shut Hannah up. It's a brief struggle and as Hannah tries to slip away Faith manages to rip Hannah's top off. Indeed we are seeing what Hannah is made of.
Fifth Match: Ronnie Costello vs. Haven
Haven continues to be in a foul mood and poor Ronnie has to take the brunt of his wrath. It's a pretty good big man vs. big man match and it comes down to Brooke wanting to try her usual shenanigans but a glare from Haven causes her to piss her pants and reconsider. Ronnie gets finished with the Sting of Solace and Haven picks up the win. Afterwards the lights go loopy all over again and the big screen merely flashes the word "SOON". Haven is less than amused. ****1/2, 92% overall.
FINAL SEGMENT: Kerry Cemenko joins us now and wants to let us know that he's not here to valiantly ask Butch Fleming what else he's got because it doesn't really matter. What Fleming may have hasn't been enough to keep Kerry down and it won't be enough to deter him from winning that title this Sunday. He will not be underestimated by anyone and that goes for the two finalists in the King of the Ring also. The main event of SummerSlam beckons; Kerry is ready. Who else is?
This brings out Noah Carmichael who gets in Kerry's face. Carmichael has been ready ever since that Unified World Title was stolen from him. Every time he has to look at Butch Fleming parading around that title, it gets him ready. It fills him with a fury that can only be satiated with complete and utter annihilation. Carmichael asks if Cemenko is prepared to have that target because whoever walks into SummerSlam with the Unified World Title is merely keeping things warm while Carmichael gets ready to unleash that complete and utter annihilation. Fleming isn't Kerry's real problem; it's Carmichael.
This brings out Quentin McDaniels to the stage and wants to point out that Carmichael is still missing one crucial step and that is, he has to get past McDaniels this Sunday. "Don't let your rage and desire for all of that annihilation or whatever overlook the major problem you have in needing to beat me! This has been a year of shocks and surprises and it's only just begin. SummerSlam will be what WrestleMania should have been: a celebration of my ascension to the top of the mountain!"
The Unified World Champion Butch Fleming himself decides to join the festivities and stands with Quentin on the stage. He's pretty sure he's seen this movie before: himself as the champion and three gaggling hens squabbling over who they think is the one that can upset him for the title. It even involved some of the same people! Quentin was there! And Noah was there! Kerry? Well, Kerry wasn't there but he decided to be an annoying jackass regardless. Fleming tells Kerry that he doesn't need him to be afraid in order to have the upper hand; Fleming only needs to be better. All three of you are running on pipe dreams and prayers.
Cemenko offers Fleming a chance to put his money where his mouth is. Noah makes Quentin the same offer. Neither of the heels are particularly interested, which is fine as both Kerry and Noah are more than happy to go to them. It looks like we're going to have a two-on-two brawl! We get a brief altercation but Lisa Benton sends out the manpower to put an end to it before things get too out of control. We'll see you at King of the Ring!
Overall show rating: 89%
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