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Old 03-23-2021, 07:46 PM   #2989
M-A-G
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Superstars: July 5, 2040

Opening Match: The Wyldhearts vs. The Sin City Rollers
Curiously, Vivian Merrick is observing the proceedings without her champion clients, The Future Foundation. This is a standard 'pretty boy team getting punished by the big baddies' tag match as the Wyldhearts try to have a good showing. The end comes when Luis Ortega is isolated and falls victim to the Heartstopper giving the faces the win. Afterwards, the Future Foundation themselves start a beat down on the Wyldhearts but they take a break to admonish Vivian for being out here. That's all the opening the Wyldhearts need to recover and turn the tide to send the champions packing. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Second Match: King of the Ring First Round - Kyle Jacobs vs. L.A. Xander
This is the first we've seen of Jacobs since falling victim to Brandon Reigns at Night of Champions. He's not going to let Reigns have the last laugh nor will what happened at Night of Champions get under his skin. He knows he's better than Reigns and it will only be a matter of time before he gets to go up against the son of a bitch. If not, well, Jacobs will just have to make Reigns come to him, by winning King of the Ring and going on to win the Unified World Title. L.A.X. tries his damndest here but Jacobs is a flurry of emotion tonight. Jacobs gets a decisive victory here after hitting the Legacy Bomb to advance to the second round. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage, Nathan Quinn is with Leah and they want to brag about what they did to Jenna Kyle on Raw. It was such a beautiful moment to knock the high and mighty princess off her tower and humiliate her. The people shouldn't feel that bad for her because the shots they took of Jenna, well, she's never looked better! They proceed to show off some of the photos they took after Jenna was beaten down. They claim that these images should be the ones that get emblazoned in the minds of the people along with one other important image: Leah standing triumphantly over a conquered women's division.

Third Match: King of the Ring First Round - Salvatore Scabbia vs. Ozzy Mandias
A definite size difference here but Ozzy is game. Sadly he can't overcome the might of Scabbia and the treachery of Brooke and he falls victim to the Omerta to give Scabbia the win and thus Scabbia advances to the second round. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Fourth Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey, Billie Padgett, and Emma Edwards vs. Tania, Jamie Roderick, and Phoebe Hanson
With Tania being vocal about wanting to be the first to challenge the new Women's Champion and still entangled with Padgett this seems like a reasonable comprise. Plus it's 6 awesome women in a match so I'm not going to say 'no' to that. Tania and Padgett end up alone together and Padgett accidentally collides with Naomi after having an Irish whip to the ropes reversed and that leads to Tania hitting the Nose Dive for the pin and the victory. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Backstage, Faith Connors wants to give us an update on Jenna's condition. The truth is she's in much better shape physically than mentally because Leah made the stupid decision to poke the bear. Faith can empathize because of the nonsense pettiness she has to put up with from Hannah McCormick. Why can't these women just let Jenna and Faith just be Jenna and Faith? Faith Connors doesn't know how to be anyone other than Faith Connors and if that means she's recognized as the biggest and best women's wrestler in the WWE, so be it. Hannah needs to either step it up if she wants to claim that top spot or get the hell off Faith's case.

Fifth Match: King of the Ring First Round - Xavier Cross vs. Nigel Gallagher
Cross wants to let us know that he's not bitter about Kerry Cemenko competing for the Unified World Title at King of the Ring. In fact, Cross hopes that Cemenko goes on to win the title because Cross is going to see his sorry ass at SummerSlam after becoming the King of the Ring! Nigel proves to be a much tougher opponent to put away than Cross anticipated as his high-flying prowess is enough to stay alive against a guy like Cross. Ultimately, Nigel's nemesis Jerome McDougal lets his envy get the better of him and he interferes enough to allow Cross to hit Nigel with the Cross Cutter for the win and advances to the second round. Nigel receives a consolation prize in the form of McDougal stomping the piss out of him after the match. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Backstage, the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming wants to set everyone's minds at ease. He knows about how the King of the Ring tournament captures the imagination and it's a fun little game to pick out the eventual winner and picture them in the main event of SummerSlam. Well there's no need to burst a vessel this time around. Take any of the remaining competitors, from Caleb Greene to Ryan Pattillo to Martyn LaSalle to Chris Collins; take any of them, picture them lying down, face up on that mat with Fleming standing over them still the Unified World Champion because Kerry Cemenko's fate is sealed. It's been made clear that there are consequences for daring to cross Fleming. Consider it a miracle if Cemenko makes it out of King of the Ring under his own power, much less with the title.

Sixth Match: Carmella Costello vs. Lauren Franklyn
Just a match to keep Carmella's feud with Frankie going. Costello sneaks out a cheap pinfall victory using the ropes. Afterwards, Frankie runs in for YOUR obligatory catfight. ****1/2, 89% overall.

Seventh Match: King of the Ring First Round - Gavin Jones vs. Quentin McDaniels
This is our last King of the Ring match for the night. Moses McKay of the Royal Effect joins the announce team at ringside to offer his insight on Gavin Jones. McKay has Gavin's buddy and leader Ryan Pattillo as his King of the Ring first round match and King Kavovit has Michael Haywood in his King of the Ring match. It'd be quite something if all three of those sophomoric clowns get destroyed and fail to win this tournament. Easier said than done as McDaniels is having a rough time putting away Gavin. McKay seems to be getting that vibe as well and he takes it upon himself to leave the announce table and play cheerleader for McDaniels...and punch Gavin in the balls when the ref is busy with McDaniels. This leads to Gavin suffering a Great Depression to give McDaniels the win. McKay tosses Gavin around the outside area for fun afterwards. *****, 95% overall.

MAIN EVENT: WWE Cruiserweight Champion The Undefeated Steel Cage Master Former Cruiserweight Champion-Elect Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones vs. The Dillingers
Hotbody hopes Martyn LaSalle is watching because tonight is a demonstration that both Zed Jones AND Hotbody can multi-task and still be at the top of their game. Hotbody actually feels sorry for Martyn LaSalle. Not only is LaSalle inferior to Hotbody but nobody wants to be LaSalle's friend! Everyone should have at least one friend, even if they're a straight-laced stick in the mud sorry sack of suck like Martyn LaSalle. Hotbody isn't willing to give up the Cruiserweight Title but he will do his best to find a special someone for Martyn LaSalle because he's going to need a drinking buddy to pour his heart out to after he fails! Anyways, to the match, despite the posturing Hotbody is more than happy to let Zed do all of the work. The match breaks down and in the confusion and chaos Hotbody nails Joey Dillinger with the Cruiserweight Title belt and that allows Zed to score a cheap pin for the victory. Hotbody celebrates like he's won the Super Bowl. *****, 95% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%
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