[M-A-G]

Raw: October 8, 2040

We open with Lisa Benton who wants to address the WWE Unified World Title and its current status as vacant. She declares that there will be a one-on-one match as the main event of No Mercy to crown a champion. However the two participants will be determined in a series of Beat the Clock matches this week. The two competitors with the quickest times will face each other at No Mercy. The series starts tonight. Also, since Hannah McCormick is so eager to get involved with other people's affairs, she will be taking on Faith Connors tonight.

First Match: Ethan Lang vs. Ziggy Styles
Let's see how the newbie fares on a bigger stage. I say that despite Ziggy only being around about 2 months longer than Lang. Ziggy appreciates everyone who tuned in last week to all of his shows and got Ziggy with it. It's the beginning of a movement that will catapult him to the top of the talk of the town. He's going to continue his hot streak by showing this wet behind the years noob what for! It's a good outing, helped immensely by Ziggy's charisma as Ethan is a major downer in that department. Ultimately, Ziggy gets the duke by going to the eye, hitting the Thing-A-Ma-Zig, and using the tights for the pin. Michael Haywood runs down afterwards, no doubt in a rage over what happened last week on Ziggy's show and tries to get a piece but Ziggy is done for the night and decides to head out. ****1/4, 81% overall.

Second Match: Beat the Clock Challenge: Xavier Cross vs. ???
Xavier Cross comes out smiling and he rips into the crowd. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ruin things for all of you and poor Kyle Jacobs on SmackDown!? What did you all think was going to happen? I was going to be humiliated, week in and week out? I was going to just stand in the background or at the side of someone like Kyle Jacobs and just take orders or be the butt of whatever dumb joke he concocted for that particular night? I'm God damn Xavier FREAKING Cross! I main evented WrestleMania 50! I'm one of the longest reigning champions in history! My name is synonymous with 'you better respect his ass'! I am not here to be part of the amusement of a bunch of peons like all of you and certainly not Kyle Jacobs. So now he can lay in his bed, beaten and broken, and watch me as I continue to do what I do best. I'm going to win this Beat the Clock challenge by annihilating whoever it is Lisa Benton has lined up for me and there's not a damn thing Kyle Jacobs can do about it! Screw him and his dumb stipulation and SCREW ALL OF YOU! Now, where's my opponent?"

The lights go out almost on command and the music of Haven hits! Cross is a tad nervous to say the least. Well, here we go, I guess.

Second Match: Beat the Clock Challenge: Xavier Cross vs. Haven
So we're looking to set the pace here as these are the first competitors. Cross, in fact, is not annihilating his opponent as predicted but it's an awesome start. Ref is bumped and they continue to brawl but here comes Wrakk to ruin the fun. He brawls with Haven as Cross is down and out. He eventually starts coming around as Wrakk tries taking Haven's head off with a chair. Haven blocks it and yanks it away and in his fury takes a swing at Wrakk but he ducks out of the way and rolls out of the ring causing Haven to hit Cross. The ref saw it though! He calls for the bell and that's a DQ win for Cross as he's got the time to beat for the rest of the competition. Haven rolls out of the ring and pursues Wrakk to the back looking for more. *****, 95% overall.

Backstage we hear from Sophie Waters hyping up Shawn Dangerson's involvement in the best-of-five series against Jason Sorola. She's hoping that this will put to rest all of the talk over who should be next in line for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title. Jason Sorola himself comes into the picture to run his mouth about the matter. He points out that Sophie and Shawn should mark this Thursday down on their calendar. It should serve as a reminder as to where it all started to unravel for the two of them. Their hopes and dreams and aspirations. Everything. It's going to be a short series, Jason claims, and it's going to put to rest who is the better man. Shawn Dangerson himself comes in to scare Jason away from Sophie. Jason merely smirks and walks away, telling the two that they deserve each other. They can console one another after this series blows up in their faces.

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He has Luscious with him along with a T-shirt cannon and he wants to talk about something very serious: "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T BUYING MY EL DANDY SHIRTS!!! Look, I know that you people might not have that much disposable income on hand. Hell, some of you are probably just lazy welfare queens who clothe yourselves with whatever you find at the Salvation Army. It's OK. I am a generous and giving Cruiserweight Champion. Just ask Luscious! Tell them Luscious..." *Luscious nods enthusiastically with a smile on her face* "...There! See? Now I'd love to give you all something tremendous, like, say, another Cruiserweight Championship match, but there really aren't any major contenders right now and I forgot my tumbler so we can't really do an impromptu thing. Plus, El Dandy still isn't returning my calls! Which brings us to why we're out here tonight. Out of the goodness of my heart AND AT MY OWN EXPENSE I have a few of my El Dandy T-shirts here that the lovely Luscious will fire out to you. Don't worry about them not fitting. They're all 4XL. They should be a perfect size for the majority of you. Now what we'd like for you all to do is to wear them proudly in public and raise awareness for what could possibly be the most legendary encounter in the history of the Cruiserweight Title: Michael Hotbody, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion taking on the Latin Lothario, El Dandy! You all want it, we want it, let's make El Dandy want it, too. So Luscious, let's lock and load, because I'm ready to blow!"

The music of Jordan Demiras interrupts the proceedings and the man himself makes his way out onto the stage. He glares at Hotbody and Luscious for a bit before raising his mic to mo...WAIT A SEC! The music of Martyn LaSalle interrupts Jordan's proceedings and he comes out and joins Jordan on the stage. LaSalle glares at everyone and declares that he's really not up for more verbal sparring. He has a good mind to just run down to that ring and find a real clever place to stick that T-shirt cannon. Jordan is taken back and doesn't appreciate Martyn interrupting things but he will admit he's on board with that idea regarding the cannon. Hotbody berates the two of them for showing up AGAIN with no business with Hotbody at all. They're just a bunch of killjoys who want everyone to be as miserable as they are but there's nothing either one of them can do to bring down the mood here. While this is going on, Ozzy Mandias sneaks into the ring behind Hotbody and Luscious and gives them a glare. Luscious is the first to notice as she turns around and freaks out, dropping the cannon before bailing. Ozzy picks it up. Hotbody turns to find Ozzy as well and follows Luscious's example. However, they're path up the ramp is blocked by the approaching Demiras and LaSalle. Cue Lisa Benton coming out to the stage to try to calm things down. She tells Ozzy, Jordan, and Martyn that their anger is understood and justified but there's an order to these things. Hotbody demands that Lisa do something about the three of them because he's already dealt with Jordan and Martyn and Ozzy is screwed anyway because he didn't get the win at Unforgiven so he has no business asking for a one-on-one shot at the Cruiserweight Title.

Lisa finds a measure of truth in what Hotbody is saying but she wants Hotbody to clarify something before she proceeds. "Are you basically saying that it was the team that got the win at Unforgiven?" Hotbody nods and says, "Yes. That's exactly what happened! So Ozzy Mandias doesn't get his match with me! Fair's fair!"

Lisa continues and declares that in that case, the whole team should get rewarded! So here's what's going to happen at No Mercy: the Cruiserweight Championship match will feature Michael Hotbody defending the title against Jordan Demiras, Martyn LaSalle, AND Ozzy Mandias in a Four Way Elimination Match! Hotbody and Luscious lose their shit and throw a tantrum. Lisa orders everyone to leave and to not lay a hand on one another as she's not looking forward to deal with another night of chaos. Hotbody yells at Ozzy who is still in the ring holding the T-shirt cannon and taunts him...so Ozzy pulls the trigger and fires a shirt into Hotbody's crotch. Ozzy plays innocent to the crowd, gesturing that the thing went off on its own. Plus, he didn't lay on a finger on Hotbody. Luscious is DISTRAUGHT as Hotbody rolls around in pain.

Third Match: Beat the Clock Challenge: Chris Collins vs. Alexander Piero
Chris Collins gets on the mic to clarify something. His opponent tonight is certainly an odd choice, considering the prize at stake and the fact that Piero hasn't really done anything to warrant being involved in this particular picture. However, Chris admits that he specifically requested Piero to be his opponent so that Piero can get whatever fury he's still got bottled up inside of him out of his system and so that Chris can snuff out that sad little upstart once and for all. Piero is going to learn ruthlessness first hand and that risking your health for some broad is never a good idea! Better to rip off the bandage now and learn you have no place at this table than to delude yourself any further. Well Piero certainly has something to say about all of that. It's an even match, surprisingly, as Collins struggles to keep the rookie down. Ultimately it's a double countout as Piero decides that beating the piss out of Collins is apparently more important. Looks like both of these guys are out of contention. ****1/2, 92% overall.

Fourth Match: Hannah McCormick vs. Faith Connors
Hannah hopes that Faith hasn't forgotten about her and her aspirations to rid the WWE of the low-brow, unwashed mediocrity that Faith and Jenna bring to the table. She and Bobbi Jo will be more than happy to be the ones to take those Women's Tag Team Titles as a well-deserved reward for finally knocking the Lonely Girls off their pedestal that all of these dumb drooling mouth-breathers built for them! So, yeah, this is some good shit as you'd expect. We see clips of Leah and Bonnie Beckham in the back watching the proceedings. Ultimately, Bobbi Jo tries some shenanigans to help Hannah but Jenna is there to chase her. The ref is distracted by this and Bobbi manages to slip Hannah her custom mic. Faith has no idea about this and goes for the Mirror's Edge but Hannah introduces the mic into Faith's face as she comes off the top. Faith is out of it and Hannah goes for a roll-up and uses the ropes for the pin. She calls for Bobbi to join her in retreat. *****, 96% overall.

Backstage we see Lisa Benton having to deal with more fuss from Noah Carmichael who is apparently isn't supposed to be here. Security stands in his way and try to get him out of the arena as Noah yells that he's still not done with Salvatore Scabbia. Almost on cue, Scabbia and company pass by Noah and taunt him. We get more yelling and chaos...

...WAIT! The feed gets interrupted and we get another video from Dusk and her raven, Sorrow. This one centers around Faith Connors as Dusk provides a monologue. "What does it mean to fly? What does it mean to grace the air and soar with beauty and poetry? It means accepting the possibity of crashing...and burning."

Fifth Match: Salvatore Scabbia, Ronnie Costello, The Academy vs. The Wyldhearts and The Dillingers
Well, back to the program, I suppose. Brooke mocks Noah Carmichael's sad and pathetic state of existence right now. All it took was one encounter with Salvatore Scabbia and he's become no better than a vagrant or a rambling old man shaking his fist at the clouds. No, Noah is, in fact, most certainly done with Salvatore Scabbia, but Scabbia is not done with the Unified World Title. This is a wild affair to say the least. And I'm most certainly not continuing to punish Robbie Greer for getting sus...oops, would you look at that? Robbie Greer gets locked in Scabbia's Omerta and passes out giving the win to the heels. Who'd have thunk it? ****1/2, 90% overall.

Sixth Match: Eclypse vs. Phoebe Hanson
I haven't offically done a face turn for Eclypse so she gets a face opponent for right now. Plus, Phoebe also needs some Robbie Greer-style punishm...er, I mean, hey, look at Phoebe do her damndest to put Eclypse over! Eclypse hits the Fade to Black after an awesome outing to score the pin.

Afterwards, WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey comes down to try to appeal to Eclypse. She tells Eclypse face-to-face that there shouldn't be any hard feelings between them, despite what went down at Unforgiven. Naomi hopes that things can remain strong between them because family is what really matters in the overall scheme of things. Naomi offers a handshake...but Eclypse shakes her head! Naomi looks nervous. Eclypse hugs Naomi instead! Naomi is grateful for that and is glad that Eclypse wants to move forward. Eclypse takes the mic and agrees that looking forward is important and that it's also important to look after family and not bear any ill-will towards one another...and that's why Eclypse expects Naomi to grant her a title match. Naomi's eyes go "deer-in-the-headlights" as Eclypse makes this request and drops the mic, taking her leave. *****, 95% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Beat the Clock Challenge: Quentin McDaniels vs. Kerry Cemenko
These guys had quite the showing on the pre-show for Unforgiven. Kerry wants to make it clear that his nuts are out for revenge! Silliness aside, these guys rock it again. Quentin tries for the brass knuckles again but they get stolen from him by Kerry. Kerry threatens to use them and the ref tries to talk some sense into him. Quentin goes to the eye as Kerry is involved with the ref and manages to hit the Great Depression to score the pin. Both Quentin and Xavier Cross have set the times to beat. How will this play out as the week unfolds? *****, 94% overall.

Overall Show Rating: 91%