[Evil Vito]

Originally Posted by M-A-G Superstars: August 30, 2040 Opening Match: Alexander Piero, Kerry Cemenko, Kyle Jacobs vs. Orlando Kincaid, Quentin McDaniels, Xavier Cross Shoot, why not build off of SummerSlam's matches and feuds and kick things off with something sweet like a 6-man? Of course with that mentality of me wanting to go all in, guns blazing, the game decides to go "LOL, dud show". Well, regardless Jacobs gets the honor here to pick the pin for his team by countering Kincaid's OK Corral in the Legacy Bomb for the win. *****, 84% overall.

The damn dud show strikes again. It's meant to only be a 1 in 25 chance but alas when all of your shows matter there's no hope of the dud show being "wasted" on the secondary/tertiary show.

Who should decide to join us next but the new Unified World Champion himself, Noah Carmichael! He's not looking too good all things considered. He talks about the nightmare that was Hell in a Cell at SummerSlam. With all of the violence and brutality that went down, he has to admit to a grave mistake in making a huge underestimation...namely he underestimated himself as to how much damage he was actually capable. He surprised himself. The only thing that was an even bigger surprise was someone like Salvatore Scabbia finding the stones to do what he did after the match. Of course, if someone is on a stretcher barely capable of staying conscious, how much stones does Scabbia even really have? He sure as hell let his woman talk a big game on Raw, what with throwing around challenges and what not. He doesn't know about a match but he's definitely down with kicking Scabbia's ass right here and right now! Cue Lisa Benton to come out and try to diffuse things. She gets the degree of how upset Carmichael is but all this talk about championship matches and fights needs to be tabled for another time. For one thing, Scabbia isn't even here. Secondly, Carmichael looks in no shape for any kind of physical altercation, sanctioned or otherwise. The best thing for the champion to do right now is to go home, recuperate, and let her worry about the i's and t's regarding his next opponent. Carmichael scoffs at this but agrees to take his leave. However, he gets in her face and tells her he doesn't envy her position but the one person who's going to need to be doing all of the worrying is Salvatore Scabbia.

I love when a babyface shows up clearly worse for wear but still wants to fight. It's a nice juxtaposition with heels who get injured and milk it for all it's worth.

Backstage, Luscious is with TOP LEGAL COUNSEL Galino & Farnes. They want to talk about the OUTRAGEOUS actions undertaken by Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle on Raw. Nobody was informed as to whether or not Jordan Demiras would be present at the show which constitutes a clear case of false advertising and fraud! Demiras and LaSalle are lucky they haven't been drowned after swimming in deposition documents after such blatant statute violations! Demiras and LaSalle's business with Michael Hotbody is over and done and they need to be warned about the potential consequences of any further aggression on their behalf.

With G&F's brilliant guidance, Hotbody will soon be wearing Demiras and LaSalle's ring gear when he literally sues the pants off of them.

Second Match: Billie Padgett vs. Tania This is hardcore rules and will end the feud between these two and hopefully they'll be better off with their respective teams. Padgett has the advantage here, obviously, but Tania shows she can hang as she's no slouch herself. It's enough to overcome the DUD factor, too. Tania picks up the duke after hitting a Nose Dive on Padgett through a table. *****, 89% overall.

An 89% match rating on a dud show is pretty well unheard of, and speaks volumes to how over they are and how hot the feud was. May have very well flirted with 100% on a non-dud show.

Third Match: Nigel Gallagher vs. Zachary Vale Well poop on a stick. Having these guys try to follow the last match was pretty stupid as they take a beating in terms of heat. It's still good but they got seriously short-changed. Nigel picks up the win with the Union Smack. ****1/4, 72% overall.

With the pure talent involved I thought everyone on your roster would be immune from the "this match is a letdown compared to the last" programming logic.

Sixth Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Champions The Lonely Girls vs. C4 Brooke, of course, accompanies her girls and makes the claim that she's sitting on a boatload of future champions. She reiterates her challenge to Noah Carmichael and demands that he watch this match as proof of her managing and coaching capabilities. Anyways, Faith and Jenna always give the finger to the DUD show and have themselves another good outing. Jenna looks to be in trouble as Faith is on the outside with Carmella and Brooke looks like she's going to give an assist to Cordelia. HOLD THE PHONE! Noah Carmichael makes his way out to give Brooke the stink eye. Brooke pauses herself to talk some trash back and that's all the opening Jenna needs to send Cordelia into Brooke and finish things off with the Kyle Driver for the pin. ****1/2, 82% overall.

I love that finish, if it happens one time too many C4 could destroy Brooke for clearly having conflicting priorities.

I also appreciate managers having multiple clients and functioning as, well, actual sports agents.

Seth looks like he's got things well in hand but that pesky Brandon Reigns is still furious over losing the championship and decides to run down for the DQ. We go off the air with Reigns continuing to beat the piss out of the Intercontinental Champion. ****1/2, 82% overall.

Reigns just wants to get his baby back (baby back baby back baby back Chili's baby back ribs)