[loopydate]

MARCH 23, 2005 - SUPERSTARS

As Superstars kicks off, the ring is full of... well... superstars. The night is kicking off with the Feast Or Famine battle royal! The winner will challenge Dave Batista for the Intercontinental Title later tonight. And Eric Bischoff has said that any number of competitors in this match could wind up in the unemployment line. The longer you last, the better your chance of keeping your job!

The match starts with the typical battle royal clusterfuck brawling as Akio, BJ Whitmer, Brian Kendrick, Christian York, Chuck Palumbo, Funaki, Johnny Stamboli, Julio Dinero, Payne, and Trent Acid go to work. Christian York ensures that Dinero is the first casualty and walks to the back dejected. Unless Eric Bischoff draws a zero tonight, Dinero knows he's gone! The rest of the ring watches him walk away, each man knowing that there's a distinct chance that their careers, too, may be over. York strikes again, breaking the silence by cheap-shotting Payne and dumping him to the floor. From there, the match returns to chaos. York's New Generation teammate Whitmer is the next one out, thanks to Chuck Palumbo. Meanwhile Palumbo's partner Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli makes quick work of Brian Kendrick, Akio, and Trent Acid, and there are four men remaining.

The odds are in the favor of each man in the ring for keeping his job, but nobody wants to take the chance, and they all want the title opportunity. York's reign of terror comes to an end next as Funaki dumps him out. From there, Funaki realizes he's outnumbered by the Natural Born Thrillers. Stamboli and Palumbo take turns taking shots at Funaki, and - indeed - things don't look good. Palumbo winds up for a Jungle Kick, but Funaki ducks it, and Palumbo's momentum sends him over the top and to the floor! Funaki turns around in shock, only to get blasted by Fugettabout It and bundled out. Johnny The Bull wins the Feast Or Famine match!

Vince Russo (?!?) appears on the TitanTron and announces that Eric Bischoff put him in charge of discipline for the Superstars roster, starting with Feast Or Famine. He has arrived to announce who is departing.

"Julio Dinero?
Gone.
Payne?
Fired.
BJ Whitmer?
Terminated.
Brian Kendrick?
Unemployed.
Akio?
...safe.

"Mister Bischoff drew the number four tonight, so Dinero, Payne, Whitmer, and Kendrick are off to the unemployment line. We wish them all the best in their future endeavors. And let that be a warning to the rest of the Superstars roster: Vince Russo is your new Director Of Authority, and you will respect me!"

Back from break, Natural Born Thrillers Sean O'Haire and Mike Sanders are in the ring. Their stablemates Stamboli and Palumbo looked good in the battle royal, and they're looking for a similar showing in this non-title match against America's Most Wanted. Solid tag match between the two duos, but the rise of AMW continues as they hit Sanders with the Death Sentence for the win. Afterwards, O'Haire gets in Sanders' face, blaming him for the loss.

A short video plays, hyping A-Train, trying to make him still look relevant.

Another tag match follows with Rico Constantino and The Hurricane teaming up to take on the "Hip-Hop Heels" Konnan and Ron Killings. Decent match that doesn't live up to the one before it ends with Konnan getting Rico to tap out to the Tequila Sunrise.

Backstage, Paul Heyman hypes up Shane Douglas, saying that the Franchise of Wednesday nights is here!

The X Division is on display in our next match as Paul London takes on Kid Kash. The match would likely be better if Kash put more into it, but it's still pretty good. London misses a London Calling attempt, but lands on his feet, only to be rolled up by Kash, who gets his feet on the middle rope for leverage. Kash steals one! Afterwards, London and Kash brawl up the ramp and out of view.

Backstage, Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho of the Nova Scotia Cosa Nostra talk some trash about John Cena and X Champion AJ Styles, hyping their six-man tag main event as well as continuing the feud that started last week.

Our next match is for the Intercontinental Championship! "Nature Boy" Dave Batista has a distinct advantage, both as the defending champion, and the fact that Johnny "The Bull" Stamboli already had to fight nine men not only to earn this match but to keep his job! Stamboli is definitely feeling the effects of FoF early, as Batista pummels him with punches and clotheslines. Stamboli gets in some hope spots, but Batista works him up for a Batista Bomb only for The Bull to punch his way out of it and hit Fugettabout It out of nowhere for the surprise three-count. Batista is stunned, and - honestly - so is Stamboli as he lifts the Intercontinental Title in triumph!

Back from commercial, the arena is in total darkness. A heavy metal riff hits and the same strobes we saw last week light up the crowd. When they come back up, the icon Sting is in the ring, baseball bat in hand. He points the bat at the ramp, then makes the "belty" motion. Sting wants Christian!

Cena and Styles come to the ring, as they're Sting's partners for this match. "Just Close Your Eyes" hits, and the arena erupts in a chorus of boos as the World Champion Christian comes to the ring with Benoit and Jericho. It's Sting, Cena, and Styles versus the Nova Scotia Cosa Nostra! The crowd is hot for the match, and all six main-eventers play to them. Eventually the match breaks down into chaos, and Sting takes advantage by setting up for the Scorpion Death Drop. Christian wriggles his way out of it and twists his way into the Unprettier for the win!