[M-A-G]

Superstars: December 20, 2040

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favortie host, The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! Hotbody has his crew with him as he wants to talk about what went down on Raw and the match that Gavin Jones wants to have with him at Bragging Rights.

"Now far be it from me to want to have a gripe with a proposed match as I am the most fighting-est Cruiserweight Champion in history, but I have to say that this ladder match that Gavin wants to have, well, it's just not going to work for me. Now, I am well aware of the horribly veiled threats to my person that Gavin made to me should I try to pull some kind of shenanigans to get out of this match. Look, no one is looking more forward to beating the snot out of Gavin Jones than I am, OK? I am watering at the mouth thinking about conquering another delusional opponent who thinks they're better than me! I WANT to face Gavin Jones! But, this is a bridge too far and it has nothing to do with any kind of tricks of any kind. My CRACK LEGAL TEAM Galino & Farnes is out here with me to explain the situation and how I cannot be penalized for refusing to partake in Gavin's silliness. What this is all about is something that I've kept to myself and is very difficult for me to confess in public. It's embarrassing and deeply personal and I know it may lower my image in the eyes of my multitude of fans across the world. It's something that I've kept from even my dear Luscious. But in light of what Gavin is asking for, I feel the need to bring it to light and I only pray that you, Luscious, don't think of me as less of a man because of it. This isn't easy for me, but it's necessary. The ladder match that Gavin demanded between himself and me can't happen because...I'm afraid of heights!" The crowd boos as Luscious looks shocked but sympathetic. The announcers express their doubts as Hotbody continues.

"No, it's true. It's something I've carried with me for practically my entire life. It's why I'm a champion conga dancer and not a skydiver or bungee jumper or pilot. I'm just a nervous, sweaty mess when I have to deal with heights, OK? Gavin, I know you earned your spot as number one contender and I know you had the right to name a stipulation, but those rights mean nothing if they are going to be discriminatory! I turn things over to Galino & Farnes to elaborate."

Freddie Galino takes the mic and continues from where Hotbody left off. "In this line of business, forcing someone into a situation where there is a clear disadvantage towards one party due to any physical or psychological ailments is unfair. What Gavin Jones and Lisa Benton have done is orchestrate a scenario in which our client cannot possibly win. The rights of our client take precedence as you wouldn't ask someone with a fear of blood to participate in a First Blood match. This is yet another gross abuse of authority excerised by Lisa Benton."

Jimmy Farnes takes over, following up on Galino's statement. "But fear not because Michael Hotbody is not without mercy. Gavin Jones and the WWE can avoid any unnecessary legal drama by simply calling off the match and have Gavin relinquish his status as number one contender to the WWE Cruiserweight Title, whereupon Michael Hotbody will find a suitable replacement, one who will not be so brazen in exploiting a severe handicap. This is the only fair and just and acceptable outcome, otherwise Lisa Benton will be facing some very real discrimination paperwork! We have the necessary documents lined up and ready so the threat is very real and if Gavin Jones had even slightest bit of humanity in him, he would make the moves to limit his liability!"

Speak of the devil and he'll appear as Gavin Jones has evidently heard enough and makes his way out to respond to all of this. He's wiping his brow in what appears to be frustration, but nonetheless he presses on. "Michael, I only just became the number one contender a few weeks ago and I'm already God damn sick of you. That's talent right there. You don't have a fear of heights, you have a fear of being a man. You have a fear of the ass kicking that's been long overdue. I warned you about what was coming to you if you tried to weasel your way out this. Unlike you, I don't view that belt as a toy to carry around with that trophy bitch you got. That belt, to me, means that you're the best at what you do, so having to watch you, day in and day out, walk around with it pisses me off to no end."

Michael interrupts Gavin with an incredulous tone. "Yeah, well, what the hell do you want to do about it? You're not going to get your match and I've got my entire crew here ready to back me up in wiping the floor with you! I should let you get in here and take your licks for daring to insult my precious Luscious! It's the least I could do for her being so understanding and supporting even after learning about my deepest, darkest secret. But I have a lot to process and consider after all of this so the best thing you can do, Gavin, is go walking back to Lisa Benton and have a good cry with each other. You have nobody to blame but yourself for this!"

Gavin stares at the site in the ring, but he appears undeterred by the entirety of Hotbody's crew. "That would be smart, but unlike you, Mikey, I actually have balls and I can actually back it up."

Gavin starts to make his way down to the ring but who should interrupt this turn of events but Miles Shawcross! He comes out to the stage bemoaning what he's seeing. He tells Gavin that sometimes things need to just be let go and that he's holding up the show with all of this self righteous horse crap. The people want to see a real top level cruiserweight and Miles Shawcross is all that and then some! In fact, he'll be happy to take Gavin down a peg or two by facing him tonight!

Michael Hotbody takes this opportunity to deflect from himself and calls out Gavin Jones, asking him if he's going to just stand there and take that from Miles. "Well, seeing as how Gavin isn't going to get any kind of match out of me and the fact that I'm willing to show a bit of mercy, I don't see why Gavin can't get his jollies by facing Miles Shawcross here tonight! We'll let you two hash things out. Gavin, hopefully when we next meet, it's under better circumstances and this ladder match nonsense is behind us!" And with that, Hotbody signals his crew that they should depart. They make their way through the crowd as Gavin and Miles exchange stares.

First Match: Mathias vs. Steve Hayes
Nothing really major here. Just some quality big man on big man action. I figure if Simon Bennett is going to be parked in the same camp as a guy like Mathias, then the dude should get some shine here and there. Anyways, Mathias gets a hard-fought win here, finishing Hayes off with a Goliath Gore for the pin. ****1/2, 90% overall.

Promo time as somewhere backstage Dusk is with her raven, Sorrow. Faith Connors is what's on their mind. Well, Dusk's mind, but I like to imagine she and the bird are simpatico. Anyways, what's she got to say about the Parkour Princess? "Can you sense it, Faith? Can you not feel it all around you? That shining spotlight under which you exist and thrive is slowly being engulfed by a vile, choking, all-consuming blackness. It eminates from me, Faith, and it has no compassion. I hope that in your mind you didn't truly believe you were always going to remain safe in that light forever. Light ultimately reaches two possible outcomes: it burns out...or it is extinguished."

Elsewhere backstage, Cameron Harper is pacing in the dressing area when Ethan Lang walks in. Lang has a rather disapproving expression on his face as he confronts Harper. Harper is quick to be defensive as he addresses Lang. "OK, look, I know why you're upset. Believe me, I'd be just as upset if the situation was reversed. I blew it on Raw, and I'm sorry, OK?"

"Blowing it is a bit of an understatement, Cameron," Lang counters. "It wasn't that you made a simple mistake or that you got out-wrestled by someone better than you. You just flat out ignored Jake Connelly and what he was trying to do for you on Monday in that match! The same Jake Connelly you made such a stink about wanting to learn from and have as your manager! And you missed out on that contract. Think of what you could've done with that, man!"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, Ethan," Cameron continues. "I'm well aware now of how badly I screwed the pooch. Believe me, I've spent a lot of hours thinking over the matches I could've booked for myself."

"Wait, for yourself? You could've used that contract to give the two of us a shot at the Tag Team Championship."

"Oh, right, right, of course. Of course I was absolutely thinking about the two of us!" Cameron assures Ethan. "Of course, if you really think about it, it would've been MY choice since it would've been ME doing all the work in winning the match so I'm not sure where you would fit in to all of it...."

Jake Connelly comes in to interrupt this exchange that looks like it's getting more tense as Ethan looks offended at what Cameron said. Connelly tries to calm things down. "Hey, hey, let's not go all out of control sniping at each other here, OK? Ethan, you don't need to browbeat Cameron. He made a mistake, this is a learning opportunity. That's why we accepted him into the fold, right, because he wanted to learn?" Ethan inhales deeply and lets it out as he begrudgingly agrees with Connelly. Connelly continues, however. "Now with that being said, Cameron, I take it that you're going to listen to me from here on out, right? Opportunities like the one on Raw don't come around often and they need to be snatched up when you can. The two of you are capable of great things, I know it. But it's not going to happen if there isn't a united dedication. The sky is the limit, guys. So tonight, let's get on the same page. What happened on Monday, we're just going to set it aside. We're going to build on that. We're going to make so much noise that opportunity will be breaking down our doors. Emilio London and Doyle Hughes, the Wolves of Wall Street, they haven't seen a pack like this before. Let's do this, alright?" And with that, Ethan and Cameron look at each other, give a nod and bump fists. Looks like things are back in order on this end.

Second Match: Southern Gentlemen vs. The Wyldhearts
Madison gets on the mic and announces that Lisa Benton has made it official that her boys, the Unified Tag Team Champions The Wyldhearts, will be defending the title against the former champions The Royal Effect next week on the SmackDown! Send-Off. Blaine and Robbie have been looking forward to that match just as much as Kavovit and McKay have because it's a chance to show the Royal Effect how it wasn't a fluke when her boys took the belts the first time around. The Wyldhearts are more than just a couple of pretty faces, and it looks like Kavovit and McKay have been getting too wrapped up in their own hype to remember that fact. "You can't call yourselves the Best Tag Team if you're not wearing these belts. We'll be waiting for you next week." To say this match is fire is underselling it quite a bit. A far cry from that first match, this is a great display of technique and high-flying goodness. The champs look to finish things cleanly here as Murdoch gets back body dropped over the top rope to the outside by Bellamey. Brody Lee moves in to try to clothesline Bellamey but the latter ducks. Greer comes back in and joins Bellamey and Lee turns around from his missed opportunity and eats the Heartstopper from the champions to give them the win. It's celebration time as the Wyldhearts hold up their belts in victory, but in true heel tag team fashion, the Royal Effect come sneaking in from behind to lay them out. Things are getting uglier and uglier between these two teams. *****, 95% overall.

Third Match: Gavin Jones vs. Miles Shawcross
Michael Hotbody plants himself at ringside to provide commentary and his expert insight on Gavin Jones. This match is all goodness all around. I figure giving Gavin a lot of strong outings helps in Hotbody putting out a strong aura of fear so that the audience buys Gavin having a good shot at dethroning him at Bragging Rights. Hotbody continues to reiterate his point about not going through with a ladder match as the match goes on. He's not going to walk into a situation where he's at an obvious disadvantage. It's discrimination at its worst and Gavin should feel ashamed of himself for even bringing it up! Anyways, Shawcross and Gavin slug it out on the top rope as Gavin tries escaping an attempt at a superplex from Shawcross. Hotbody declares that he's a nervous wreck just looking at this and that he'd be sweating Crisco if had to be at that height. Jones eventualy wins the exchange by landing a massive European uppercut on Shawcross that sends the latter flying back into the ring in perfect position for Jones to come off with the Frog Splash and get the win by pinfall. Jones then proceeds to stare a hole through Hotbody, for all the good it does him as Zed stands in the way of anything Gavin might be thinking about. How is this situation going to get resolved? *****, 95% overall.

Fourth Match: The Wolves of Wall Street vs. Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper
Well, let's see if that backstage pow-wow meant anything. Harper comes across as more reserved here, not going off half-cocked like in previous outings. I feel bad having a perfectly fine team in the Wolves that I can utilize as major players, but I'm sticking them out here to further an angle. Oh, well, it's not like the match sucks or anything. It breaks down at the end with all four men battling it out. Lang sends London to the outside through the middle rope. He goes down to one knee to get his breath with his back turned. Meanwhile, Hughes sets himself up as he looks like he's going to charge Lang. Lang starts to get back up and Hughes pounces by going for a big boot but Harper shoves Lang out of the way and ends up eating the kick instead. Hughes is confused as he looks down on Harper's body and Lang capitalizes by doing that twisty Booker T sunset flip thing on Hughes to get the roll up and the pin. Connelly and Lang check on Harper, but he's fine and Connelly looks proud as it looks like everyone is operating like one. ****1/2, 93% overall.

More backstage interview goodness as Paul Andrews is with Simon Bennett. Bennett gets asked why he picked the chain on Monday to be legal in his match against Adam Hail at Bragging Rights from all of the available choices. Bennett says that it wasn't an easy choice. "I stood there on that stage on Monday looking at all the options. Each time I looked at an object, my mind would race with creativity, thinking about what would bring me the most joy when I used it on Adam. What was going to put the biggest smile on my face as I put it to good use in beating the smugness out of his ass. The chain, though, caught my eye for one major reason. It's symbolic. A chain is all about connection, linking things together. Well, Adam had a link with me. We forged a chain together. A then he decided to throw it all away. He decided to break that chain. Well, congratulations for that, Adam, because now it's come full circle and I'm going to enjoy using that chain to bring karma right to your doorstep. And with each choke, with each whip, and with each fist you experience, I hope the thing that runs through your mind is the question of what the hell you were thinking in ever turning your back on me! The chain that you so callously discarded is going to be the thing that comes back around and wrecks you at Bragging Rights!"

Fifth Match: The Future Foundation and Vivian Merrick vs. The Academy and...Cordelia Capriati???
Wait a second. On Monday, Cordelia looked like she finally had enough of Brooke and her attitude. What is she doing here now? Sophie Waters gets on the mic and explains the situation. "Let me set the stage for everyone, especially Brooke, who is no doubt throwing a tantrum and pulling her hair out as she watches this. Much like Randy Ellis and Justin Mitchell before her, Cordelia was fortunate enough to stumble into a revelation. And that revelation was a simple one, one that I even had way back when. And that is the fact that Brooke is such a bitch. A snobby, screeching, stuck up, know-it-all little bitch to be more precise. Her loss is my gain, though, as I can actually appreciate these three outstanding talents. But don't worry, Brooke. I know you had high hopes for them. So take comfort in knowing that I'll be helping them along the way in reaching those high hopes." Well, how about that for a wrinkle? Sophie's words prove prophetic as her crew looks like they've got things well in hand here. It shouldn't be a surprise, as they operated as a unit before, just under different circumstances. Anyways, it boils down to Vivian and Cordelia as the legal participants. Vivian reverses an Irish whip from Cordelia, sending her into the corner. Vivian tries following up with a charge, but she eats knees from Cordelia. That sends Vivian reeling backwards, dazed and hurting and Cordelia strikes while the iron is hot, coming off the turnbuckle to nail Vivian with the Crowning Achievement to score the pin. How is all of this going to affect Brooke and what remains of her crew? ****1/2, 91% overall.

Sixth Match: Orlando Kincaid vs. Josh Turmell
Quinten McDaniels comes down to join the announce team for commentary as we're told that so far nobody has heard anything about what Kincaid plans to do with the contract that he won on Monday. Quinten says that it's a good thing and that it's a sign that maybe, just maybe, Orlando is coming around to what Quinten, Chet, and Hugo have been asking from him. Orlando has a history with Quinten and Chet, and it's not something so easily forgotten, but perhaps Orlando just needs a few reminders. The match goes on smoothly as Quinten observes and regales us all with stories of his time with Orlando. Orlando looks laser focused here. The calm can't last forever, though, as Josh ends up stumbling to the outside in front of the announce table. Quinten sees this as an opportunity to lend a hand and he gets up and goes over to Josh. Orlando yells at Quinten to back the hell off. Quinten looks shocked and incredulous and tries pleading his case again. Orlando isn't hearing it, though, and he heads out to grab Josh himself and sends him back into the ring. Quinten and Orlando exchange words as Orlando threatens Quinten again. Quinten turns back around to go back to the announce table, but Josh baseball slides into Orlando, sending him into Quinten. Josh brings Orlando back into the ring and he goes up, looking to land a crossbody block, but Orlando rolls through with it and ends up on top and scores the pin. Orlando celebrates, but here comes Quinten to ruin things as he slides in behind Orlando and nails him, sending him to the mat. Quinten yells at the fallen Orlando and pulls him up only to send him to the outside. Quinten looks disappointed and conflicted, but ultimately he decides to send Orlando into the steps. Quinten decides that an exclamation point needs to be added so he picks up part of the steps and nails Orlando in the face with it when he tries getting up. If Orlando hadn't wanted to be a part of whatever Quinten was offering, I doubt it's happening now. ****1/2, 92% overall.

MAIN EVENT: Haven vs. Hugo
I started with big man on big man, it feels right to end the show the same way. This is the kind of match I feel I can get away with putting on a show like Superstars as the main event. The real money match I would imagine people wanting to pay to see is the eventual Haven vs. Victor Dark showdown. As you'd expect, this is a power match, helped by Haven's overness and more athletic prowess. Hugo just monsters his way through this, and it's an odd sight seeing Haven as a vulnerable underdog, but here we are. That Victor Dark is such a weasel. A cunning weasel, though. Haven starts a comeback after surprisingly nailing a Stun Gun on Hugo, disorienting the big man. It comes to an end when Haven looks to hit the Sting of Solace, but Hugo escapes and back body drops Haven to the outside. Chet Morris comes over and taunts Haven while the latter is on his knees, but Haven responds by grabbing Chet by the throat as he gets up. Hugo goes out to continue the match and breaks up the grasp Haven has on Chet. Haven shoves Hugo away, but that leaves him open to Chet just kicking him in the balls to draw the DQ. Things looks bad for Haven in this 2-on-1 scenario but fortunately Eddy Clash comes running down, chair in hand to help chase away the heels. Quinten McDaniels comes down to withdraw his crew as we're left to ponder just how Eddy Clash and Haven are going to fight this battle fairly when it's just the two of them? ****1/2, 92% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%