Higher. Further. Faster.
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Raw: December 17, 2040
We open with our illustrious General Manager Lisa Benton on the stage, where she's got presents all over the place. She's excited about tonight and has a lot to announce. This time of year is her favorite as it's all about the holiday season. She can't wait to get the festivities started so she's going to kick them off a little early. So tonight is hereby dubbed Christmas Comes Early Night! She has three very important presents that she wants to give away to a lucky few, all of which will have a bearing on their respective matches at Bragging Rights. Also, SmackDown! next week is not just the last SmackDown! before Bragging Rights, but also the the last SmackDown! of the year, so it's only fitting to try to make it extra special. It'll be a SmackDown! Send-off. She has some great matches planned for that event, but we have to get through tonight first. Right now she wants to give away the first present and it's going to be awarded to the winner of this opening match!
Opening Match: Orlando Kincaid vs. Cameron Harper
Harper is with Jake Connelly and he gets on the mic, declaring that he wants to let everyone know that he apologized to Jake Connelly in a major way over what happened on SmackDown! this past Friday. "I was overly enthusiastic and I let it cause me to overstep my boundaries. But I just want Jake and everyone to understand that this is such a huge deal for me. Being under the guidance of one of the biggest stars, one of the greatest legends, of the industry is overwhemling and it's tough to keep a lid on some of these emotions. Nevertheless, I am more than prepared to make it up to you, Jake. I don't know what's in that box that Lisa Benton is giving way, but I'm sure it's good and I'm sure it's worth kicking ass over, so let's do this!" Both participants do indeed do this as this gets us up and running in a strong fashion. After an awesome exchange things come to an end when Harper goes for a pin after a superplex. Kincaid saves himself from a three count by placing his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. Harper thinks he's got the win, however, and leaps off in celebration. Jake Connelly and the ref both try letting Harper know that the match isn't over but he's not hearing it and he turns to Connelly on the outside, posturing for approval. Connelly keeps pointing at Kincaid who is behind Harper and has recovered and nails Harper with a German suplex with a bridge to get the actual pin and the present, whatever that may be.
Post-match, Harper is dejected as Kincaid makes his way back up the ramp to the stage. Lisa Benton stands there waiting for him next to the present that he's won and tell him that he's free to open it now. Kincaid has a "WTF" kind of look on his face about all of this, but nonetheless goes forward with opening the box and taking out what's inside. It looks like...a contract?
Lisa Benton clarifies what it is. "What you have in your hand, Orlando, is a document giving you the right to book your own match for Bragging Rights. There are some limitations, of course, as we already have some matches set, but outside of those parameters, you've got final say. Choose wisely...and happy holidays." Kincaid's confused expression turns into a sly grin, no doubt contemplating the possibilities as he looks at the contract. What will he end up doing? ****1/2, 92% overall.
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Backstage, Jordan Demiras has some thoughts on Ozzy Mandias that he wants to share. Jordan 100% believed in Ozzy and in the future that he was going to have here in the WWE. But then he got bitter. He got bitter and angry and desperate and foolish. That foolishness drove him to cross Jordan Demiras. "Well, now that future Ozzy had? It's not looking too bright. Let him come and try to bring that bitterness and anger to my doorstep one more time."
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Second Match: The Lonely Girls vs. C4
Brooke once again gets on the mic and demands unity from her clients. She believes that no doubt Randy Ellis and Justin Mitchell and Sophie Waters are having a laugh at her misfortunes and one of the last things Brooke wants to be known as is a laughingstock. So this match rules all kinds of ass. Jenna and Faith are just a well-oiled machine. Jenna, naturally, has to stand out here as she's got Braddock lined up at the PPV. Dusk decides she wants to make her presence known and comes out to the stage to observe, catching the attention of Faith. The trouble comes not from Dusk, however, as there's miscommunication over on the heel side of things. Carmella holds Jenna as Cordelia looks to nail her with a clothesline. Jenna escapes and rolls out of the way. Cordelia stops herself in time and she and Carmella have a few words. Faith takes advantage of this exchange to try a Mirror's Edge on Carmella. Carmella moves out of the way and Faith hits Cordelia. Jenna tackles Carmella out of the ring as Faith goes for the pin on Cordelia and gets the duke. The Lonely Girls take their leave in celebration, but that's not the end of this ordeal as Brooke is furious at what went down and starts to berate Cordelia. Well, that's all she can stands and she can stands no more as Cordelia just drops Brooke with a forearm and then proceeds to toss her to the outside into Carmella. Looks like a face turn to me and the crowd seems to agree. *****, 95% overall. I think the turn is what put it over the top.
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Third Match: Simon Bennett vs. Lonny Richards
Lisa Benton is back out on the stage standing next to a very large present and explains the conditions as to how it's going to be won. It will go to either Simon Bennett or Adam Hail, whose match at Bragging Rights has been made official. Simon will compete first here tonight and should he win, Adam Hail has a chance to take the prize if he can win his own match later tonight by beating Simon's time. If Adam can't do that, then Simon will get the prize. Should Simon lose right here and now, though, Adam will take it by default. So let's get down to business and kick things off.
The match is solid and naturally there is a sense of urgency from Bennett to wrap things up as quickly as possible. Things come to a head when Lonny tries locking in the Dragon Sleeper, but Bennett forces the two of them to the corner, causing Lonny to lose his grip. Bennett snap mares Lonny over and locks in the Bennet Lock to score the submission win. It's going to be all up to Adam Hail later tonight to try to do better. ****1/2, 91% overall.
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We go backstage again as Orlando Kincaid is gathering his things, apparently getting ready to leave for the night. Quinten McDaniels decides to approach him and make another overture. Orlando looks annoyed as he asks Quinten what he wants. Quinten expresses his dismay over Orlando's decision to not be part of the tremendous undertaking that Victor Dark has begun. Haven is still up and about and he made fools out Quinten, Hugo, and Chet when he made his return. Had Orlando been part of this great movement like the three of them wanted, there's no doubt Haven would've been struck down by a unified force that even he couldn't overcome.
Orlando breaks up the tirade by pointing out that he doesn't give a damn about any of that. "I didn't care when the three of you got all up in my face and asked me about this whole nonsense, and I don't care now. I've got a lot on my mind with what I picked up earlier tonight...on my own, I might add."
"Well, that brings me to why I'm here, Orlando," Quinten continues. "That's a lot of power in your hands right there with that contract. Imagine it, Orlando; 4 of us all against one man. One selfish man who let all of us down, and you wield the power to make him pay and suffer and quite possibly hang things up for good. Out of sight, out of mind, and we can all move on. And all you have to do is let us in and help."
"You know, I'm glad it's just us one-on-one right now, because maybe your hearing will be much better this time around. I'm not interested in whatever it is you're selling. I don't care about Victor Dark. I don't care about Haven. If you still got issues, go see a God damn therapist. Just leave me the hell alone. The whole Order thing collapsing and scattering us all over was probably the best thing to happen to me to date. I haven't needed any of y'all since and that's not looking to change anytime soon."
"Orlando, I'm going to still cling onto a small sliver of faith that you'll come around, because the alternative isn't pretty. The alternative is me being pissed off at you."
"Then you should get therapy for that, too." And with that final line, Orlando takes his leave.
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To another location in the back we go as Andrea is with Victor Dark as they feel the need to address Haven again. They talk about how dangerous it is for Haven to gain power. That's why intervention was necessary at Survivor Series, because making Haven into a figurehead just opens the doors to more of his manipulation and smoke and mirrors. Haven serves himself and no one else. Let that be something that needs to sink in to anyone who might be thinking of aligning with Haven. The destruction of Haven is inevitable. There's no need for anyone else to suffer the same fate.
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Fourth Match: Gavin Jones and Clubber Harris vs. Galino & Farnes
Lisa Benton is back out as she declares that this match is also for one of the presents she's giving away, with the prize affecting the match between Gavin and Hotbody for the Cruiserweight Title at Bragging Rights. The winning team will claim the present, with Galino & Farnes being the representatives for Michael Hotbody. Lisa also announces that Clubber Harris vs. Zed Jones will be one of the feature matches for next week's SmackDown! Send Off.
Michael Hotbody isn't deterred by these declarations. He has worked so hard and so long to ascend the ladder to where he is now. Rung by rung, commoner by commoner, the voyage to the top hasn't been easy, but prevailing in the face of adversity and hostility has been the name of the game. But by all means, opening presents is always fun, so he'll be happy to take whatever's in that box. So the match gets underway and it's fun all around. Things break down towards the end as the ref is distracted with Hotbody on the apron. Harris and Farnes are legal and Harris stalks the latter as he's getting to his feet. Zed Jones tries sneaking in with a big boot but Harris moves out of the way and Farnes eats the boot instead. Gavin dives into Hotbody, taking him off the apron and Harris tosses Zed. Farnes then falls victim to the Club Pain and that's going to give the faces the win via pinfall.
The heels are all kinds of upset as Gavin and Harris make their way back up the ramp. Lisa greets Gavin with his present and tells him to open it. Gavin does so and what should be inside but...another contract? Lisa explains that this particular contract awards the holder the right to name the stipulation for their match at Bragging Rights. Lisa tells Gavin that this is a big decision and she doesn't expect him to come up with an idea anytime soon, so he's welcome to take some time to think about it.
Gavin isn't having that and he takes the mic. "Actually, I don't see a reason why I can't name the stipulation right now. Hotbody, you wanted to talk about climbing the proverbial ladder? Well, climbing a real one should be no problem. So at Bragging Rights, our match for that Cruiserweight Title you're holding, is going to be...A LADDER MATCH!" The crowd pops in enthusiastic glee as Hotbody throws a fit. Maybe Gavin has found the magic key to ending Hotbody's reign? *****, 95% overall.
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Fifth Match: Brandon Reigns vs. Jordan Demiras
Brandon Reigns does a little pre-match gabbing, talking about how his match with Kerry Cemenko at Bragging Rights is about justifying the award he received. Reigns has no problem stepping up to the challenge because he's not insecure. Superstar of the Year isn't some gimmick. It's a reality. Reigns talked the big game at the award ceremony because he's not afraid of backing it up. Cemenko made the right move...he just made it against the wrong person. This is another great outing for the night. Demiras plays underdog, but he holds strong against the Money in the Bank winner. Unfortunately, Ozzy Mandias must've heard Jordan's comments earlier and he comes out to ruin things. He does so by shoving Demiras off the ropes when he goes for an Axe Kick and that causes Demiras to land into the waiting arms of Reigns and into the Reignfire to give him the pinfall win. Ozzy stands over Jordan's body and berates him while Reigns starts to take his leave and goes to gather his briefcase. However, when he goes to collect it, Kerry Cemenko is on the other side of the barrier next to the case. Kerry teases going for the case and it's a game of chicken as Cemenko and Reigns stare each other down. Ultimately, security comes to get in Cemenko's way allowing Reigns to take the case and retreat while shouting some less-than-friendly verbage towards Cemenko. *****, 95% overall. I mean, God damn.
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In-Ring Super Special Talky Time as this time around we're going to be blessed to hear from Michael Haywood. "I'm going to try to make this short as there's been enough chatter tonight and I'm sure you're sick of it. I know I am. Sure, you can chalk it up to me not being much of a speaker to begin with and it's hard dealing with so many loud mouths, but boy, has there been one particular son of a bitch that's just been asking for a fist down his throat, and that's Ziggy Styles. Ziggy, I am not now or ever will be down with 'getting Ziggy with it'. None of these people are interested either. What they are interested in is when they'll get to see me finally shut that trap of yours. Well, consider your challenge accepted, but it's come to my attention that Lisa Benton is going to hold that encounter next week on SmackDown! Send Off. And how fitting is that, Ziggy, because I know just the way to give you your own little send off: your broken body being wheeled out of the building."
This is going to open the door for Ryan Pattillo to come on out and join Michael in the ring. Everyone's surprised, but happy as it's been a while since the two have shared the ring. Pattillo takes the mic and starts his spiel. "It's so odd how things change with enough time, but still manage to stay the same in a lot of ways. The last time you and I were in the ring together, Michael, it was one of the most difficult things I think either one of us had to do. Fast forward to right now, however, and I don't believe for a second that any of us let that night get the better of us. Here we stand, more determined than ever, and still the winners we've always been. We can't rewind things and they'll never be like they were, but that doesn't mean they can't be good again. Gavin has got Bragging Rights in the bag. You are on your way towards teaching Ziggy Styles what real rage is all about. And of course, I've got Wrakk's number, and even though I can't get back our crew, I damn sure can get back that Unified World Title."
Cue the music of the Unified World Champion himself, Wrakk, and he decides to come out to the stage to address Michael and Ryan. "Looking at the two of you, it really does hit me how you really are a pair. So delusional, so sad, and most importantly, I've managed to wreck the both you in the past. You two want to whine about what you've lost? I lost a whole damn year. Don't try to trivialize that, ever! It's actually quite the conundrum. I can't tell if you were more pathetic as a group or now as individuals. But here's something you can all hang your hat on. I'm still Wrakk. I'm still the measuring stick. I'm still the man I was when I first came on to the scene. And as far as the two of you are concerned, we can all count on you guys to still be losers!"
Cue the music of Ziggy Styles and he comes out next to Wrakk with his usual stupid idiot expression on his face. He wants everyone to just take a breath because it's getting way too gloomy in here. "Michael, I am so happy that you want to take that next bold step in your career by facing me next week. Now I don't want you to go into the match thinking that there won't be an upside when you lose. The personal reflection that you will undergo afterwards will be tremendously healthy. You won't have to carry around the burdensome question of whether or not I'm better than you. And with revelation, comes healing. And with healing, comes transformation."
Wrakk interrupts Ziggy by asking him who the hell he thinks he is and tells him to take a hike. Ziggy tries to speak up in defense but Wrakk grabs him by the collar. Michael warns Wrakk not to do anything that might cause Ziggy to not make to next week. "Otherwise, I'll have to do something to you that'll keep you from making it to Bragging Rights, and Ryan won't get his chance at taking that title of yours."
Wrakk takes offense to this and declares that the two of them together still couldn't add up to him. Ryan dares Wrakk to try to test that hypothesis. Wrakk lets go of Ziggy and stares at the ring while pondering things over. "The two of you deserve each other. Keep thinking that things are going your way. I always enjoy a good laugh when things blow up in someone's face." Wrakk decides to leave things at that and heads to back, pointing menacingly at Ziggy as he does so.
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Backstage, Chris Collins and Xavier Cross feel like bragging about their recent success. Cross brings up the fact that Lisa Benton has made it official that he and Kyle Jacobs will be squaring off against each other at next week's SmackDown! Send-off. Cross hopes to send Kyle off to obscurity. This has been boiling for a long between Cross and Jacobs and it's time for finality. Is Kyle worthy of that last name of his? Is he destined for a prosperous future? Or will it be the same story as always? The story of Xavier Cross being the cornerstone of the WWE, of being the gatekeeper. Cross has been in a lot of battles, but credit to where it's due, none of them have been as annoying as this one with Kyle Jacobs. Cross understands Kyle wanting to finish things off the same way he started the year. Cross just isn't the doormat Kyle thinks he is. It's all OK, because Kyle can dust himself off afterwards and he is more than welcome to try his luck with some other sap.
Collins takes his turn and runs down Seth Von Kamp, his opponent for the Intercontinental Title at Bragging Rights. Seth had to have known that their paths would cross again someday. But Collins had imagined it with him being on top of the pack with Seth being the one nipping at his ankles. Collins isn't thrilled with the scenario as he is superior to Seth in virtually every measure you want to think of. The frustrations that Collins has experienced being sidetracked with so much nonsense are all going to come out at Bragging Rights. It sucks to be Seth Von Kamp, but those are the cards he got dealt. The house Seth has built for himself has been flimsy at best. It's time for a new chapter in the book of Chris Collins and he's going to write the opening statement in Seth's blood.
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MAIN EVENT: Adam Hail vs. Alexander Piero
Lisa Benton comes back onto the stage to remind everyone of the stakes here. Simon Bennett has set the time to beat and if Adam Hail can't do better, Simon Bennett is the one walking out of here with the present. If Adam is successful, then he gets the spoils. Bennett comes out to the stage to watch the match, obviously interested in the outcome. The match itself is a banger of a way to close the show. Piero is only going to improve as time goes on. Like I said before in another report, Piero needs to be rebuilt. Being able to hang tough with a vet like Hail is a good thing for him, I think, plus there's the matter of the present. So the match concludes with Hail getting more and more desperate to put the rookie away as time slips away. Hail looks like he's got Piero in position for the Hailstorm, but Piero recovers in time to nail Hail with a dropkick as Hail is perched on the top rope. Hail loses his balance and stumbles off the top and collapses onto the apron and down to the floor. The clock reaches Bennett's time and that's going to end the match in a draw. Simon Bennett gets the prize. Nathan Quinn is upset as he tries to get Hail back to his feet.
Lisa Benton makes it official and allows Bennett to claim his spoils. What the hell could be in that big box? We get our answer as Bennett lifts the thing and reveals a table loaded with all sort of implements. A chair. Brass knuckles. A pipe. A leather strap. A kendo stick. Lots of goodies. Bennett is confused, but Lisa explains that Simon has won the right to pick any one of the items before him and that item will be legal in his match against Adam Hail at Bragging Rights. Bennett gets a devilish grin on his face as he looks over his options. Hail and Quinn look on with concern. Ultimately, Bennett settles on the steel chain as he picks it up and points at Hail. Like that match needed to be even more out of control. Hail and Quinn are livid as we go off the air with Bennett holding the chain up. ****1/2, 90% overall.
Overall show rating: 87%
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