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**M-A-G** · 06-27-2023, 10:04 AM

Raw: December 10, 2040

Twenty Minute Opening Promo of Doom Time as Orlando Kincaid of all people decides to start things off. He's not going to lie to us, he's had a rough couple of weeks. It was a rough pill to swallow losing at Survivor Series, but then it was an even rougher one last week when Ryan Pattillo came out on top. Now he has to watch Pattillo go on to possibly win the Unified World Title at Bragging Rights. "Well, Ryan, last week you said you owe me for your new found focus. I'd hate for you to carry such a debt with you so on the off chance that you're able crank out a miracle and take home the title twenty days from tonight, I've got a great idea about how you can repay me and that's giving me a crack at it."

"Orlando, Orlando, Orlando...", speaks a voice, interrupting things. Everyone looks to the stage and out from the back, one at a time, emerges Chet Morris, Quinten McDaniels...and Hugo! What's the deal with these three? They all step into the ring and stand facing Orlando as Quinten continues on the mic.

"At ease, Orlando. You've got nothing to worry about when it comes to the three of us. You know Chet and myself, obviously, and you know that if we're coming to you, we have nothing but the best of intentions. The three of us have come together for very different, yet very similar reasons. There's been a weight tied to each of us and it's what's been holding us back from our real potential. Chet had his worthless cousin dragging him down. Hugo was too confined by rules and regulations. And myself? Unfinished business. Orlando, I think it's safe to say that I know you better than anyone and I definitely sympathize with what you're saying out here. But take it from us, you can't move forward unless you're willing to be honest with yourself. You see there is a great man that we think you should meet, Orlando, and his name is Victor Dark."

Chet takes the mic and continues from where Quinten started. "Orlando, we go way back, so we can be honest with each other. Victor Dark helped us all realize what was wrong in our lives, and in turn, we can now see what's wrong in yours. We would all love to have you at our side as we help you get rid of the baggage that's holding you back."

Orlando takes this opportunity to interrupt. "Are you talking about Haven? Uh, hate to break it you guys, but I've been over him and that whole mess for a long time now, so I don't know where all of this is coming from."

Quinten takes back the mic and sighs before responding. "Orlando, you can't kid yourself and you can't kid us. Victor Dark has shined the light on something so obvious. We're prisoners of our past until the moment we confront it and destroy it. This is why Noah Carmichael and Seth Von Kamp managed to get the better of me. It's because I've been letting myself get the better of me. Victor is reaching out to you as a former victim of Haven's nonsense, but more importantly, I'm reaching out to you as a friend. We'll happily be at your side as you take the first real step towards actual rehabilitation."

Orlando takes his time as he looks at each of the other men and then gives his reply. "Quinten, no offense, but what the hell have you been smoking? Chet, don't take this wrong way, but I've always thought you smelled kind of funky. You, Hugo, I don't know what your deal is and we've never had any kind of relationship, but just the fact that you're standing here swallowing all of this crap tells me you're as dumb as you are big. And Quinten, did it ever occur to you that the reason you couldn't beat Noah and Seth is because you just suck?"

The crowd cheers all of this as each man is aghast at what Orlando is saying. He's not done, though. "Last I checked, Quinten, when we all split, you wanted nothing to do with me. Well, I learned to deal with that so you're a little late to the party. And as far as your great man Victor Dark goes, all I need to know about the guy is that he apparently doesn't have the balls to even come out here himself and face me. So thanks, but no thanks. I've got better things to do. You guys have fun with whatever the hell this is."

With that, Orlando tosses the mic down and makes his exit. Upon reaching the stage, he meets Victor Dark himself who merely looks at him briefly before closing his eyes and shaking his head. He steps aside and gestures to Kincaid to continue his exit. This isn't stopping Quinten McDaniels, though, and he gets back on the mic. "That's fine and dandy, Orlando. I guess we're just going to have to make a better pitch. We dare any team back there to come on out and face any two of us right here and now and maybe then you'll see what you're turning down!" With that we go to break as the three men await an answer.

First Match: Hugo and Chet Morris vs. The Wasteland
Well, we've our answer as we return from break as Duke and Drakken have stepped up to the plate. Quinten plays cheerleader on the outside as Hugo and Chet pretty much dominate this motherfucker. It comes to an end when the faces manage to get their shit together and have Chet set up for the Toxic Kiss but Quinten drags Drakken out of the ring behind the ref's back. Duke turns around to see this and that allows Chet to low blow him and deliver his Backwoods Bomb variation to score the pin. WAIT A MINUTE!!! HERE COMES EDDY CLASH!!! He's full of piss and vinegar and tries his hand at getting to Hugo. The three heels decide to regroup instead and make their escape. Like I said, more twists and turns. *****, 87% overall.

Second Match: Neil Quint vs. Ozzy Mandias
Ozzy gets on the mic as he wants to explain his actions. He declares that both Martyn LaSalle and Jordan Demiras got what was coming to them, something that was overdue. If it weren't for their incompetence and arrogance, Ozzy Mandias would be standing before all of us as the Cruiserweight Champion. Martyn LaSalle talked himself into a corner and ended up not being able to cash that check. "It's not my problem that he couldn't handle being called out on his BS! And then to add to the misery, all of you people though that freaking Jordan Demiras deserved a Slammy? For what?!? If he thinks he's earned that Slammy so badly, I'll knock him upside the head with it and then shove it up his ass because I'm through with being in the backseat!" So with that said, we've got a match to take care of and it's pretty lit. I've got plans for both guys and there's no need to end Quint's streak just yet. Neil has Ozzy set up for the Quintessential Top Rope Maneuver but Ozzy rolls out of the ring before Neil can launch. Ozzy tries taking a breather BUT HERE COMES JORDAN DEMIRAS!!! He's looking none too happy and Ozzy realizes this and thus gets the bright idea of running away with Demiras in pursuit. That's going to give Neil the count out win as he continues his winning ways but no doubt this isn't over between Demiras and Ozzy. ****1/4, 81% overall.

Hey, suck my balls, DUD show!

Third Match: Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper vs. The Sin City Rollers
So this is the first team up between Jake Connelly's clients. Connelly declares that he sees great potential in both of these young talents, but he wants to be see how well they fire on all cylinders together. That's why he issued an open challenge earlier to see if there is any team that can put his new project to the test. Connelly believes that Lang and Harper can go far...now they have to prove it. Vic Gambler and Luis Ortega have answered the call and are ready to put these two newbies over. With Lang being a top merchandise seller, I may have a hidden gem here on my hands. I didn't foresee that big of a future for him but the game might be giving me a sign. Connelly gets his two clients through this ordeal with his verbal orders as the Rollers obviously have a huge experience advantage here. Lang does the job of clean up after Harper gets the hot tag. Lang hits Gambler with the Bitter Languish and stumbles into the corner for a brief respite. Harper tags himself in and jumps on Gambler's body to score the pin. Connelly slides in to celebrate and congratulate the two as it appears he's got himself another pair of winners. ****1/2, 81% overall.

Seriously, suck my balls.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time this time with the WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. "I knew from the moment I won this strap there was going to be nothing a barrage of would-be potential champions coming right at me, all looking to want to make a mark and all at the expense of my name. I scratched and clawed for nearly a decade to finally get my hands on this beauty so my only real message to the poor SOBs who are thinking of trying their hand is good freaking luck and sorry about what I'm going to do to your face. This belt will definitely get you noticed so it should be no surprise that I've got Chris Collins knocking at my door. Chris, we go back, and I always wondered where we'd each end up after we went our separate ways. Fast forward to right now, and I have to say that I'm not exactly interested in being part of your crisis. But like I said before, the struggle for this belt was real and I'm prepared to do it again, especially against someone like you. So I'll be there at Bragging Rights just like you asked. Think of it as a little something for old times sake. But as far as what you're going to do with yourself after I beat you, well, I can't help you there."

The arena gets blasted with the sounds of the entrance music of Chris Collins and the second-generation star makes his way on out to the stage. How's he going to respond to this? "Seth, if I hadn't been dealing with so many small fry issues this past year, understand that I would have surpassed where you are without so much as breaking a sweat. Now it's time for me to start catching the big fish again. Today, the Intercontinental Title; tomorrow...well, the sky is limit as far as I'm concerned. You can parade that lovely piece of hardware around all you like, but you're still the same Seth Von Kamp I used to know. I, on the other hand, am a new man. Sorry to have to cut your new lease on life short, but destiny is calling and you're in the damn way. Keep your apologies, Seth. I'm going to be just fine after Bragging Rights." And with that, Chris drops the mic and confidently struts his way to the back leaving Seth with a ponderous look on his face.

Backstage, Brooke is with Salvatore Scabbia and Ronnie Costello, and none of them are having what the Academy said on SmackDown!. Brooke has all of her ducks in a row. The Academy just didn't have what it took to measure up to the standards she has and so they decided it'd be easier to tuck tail and run. Well, it's not easier. Scabbia and Ronnie are prepared to make things VERY difficult for them. They've actually been toying with the idea of challenging the Academy to a match at Bragging Rights. Brooke thinks it's a great idea...or is that too tough for Justin and Randy?

Fourth Match: Gavin Jones and Clubber Harris vs. The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones
Gavin Jones gets on the mic and addresses his current deal with Michael Hotbody. "I may have lost my crew and I may have lost my partnership, but I haven't lost my ability to get under people's skin. And if there's one person who's been asking for it for a very long time, it's none other than a guy who managed to win an award called Douche of the Year. Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful ceremony on SmackDown!, but you'll forgive me for reading the room and reaching the conclusion that, just like me, everyone is sick and tired of Michael Hotbody and company. But there's a bigger issue at hand than Hotbody being a stain on this business. Hotbody, you've got the Cruiserweight Championship, and every day that passes where you're able to call yourself that is an embarrassment and a slap in my face. I've damn near broken my body for that belt in the past and I'm ready to do it all over again because a coward like you doesn't deserve it. But that's Bragging Rights; tonight is another deal entirely. And as I mentioned before, I am without my crew but I am not without backup. You've got a whole other problem with the man standing right next to me. I think he's got something to get off his chest, too. What say you, Clubber?"

Clubber Harris takes the mic and focuses his words on Zed Jones. "It's nice and all that Michael Hotbody has got himself a bodyguard in you, Zed. Unfortunately, there ain't nobody guarding your sorry ass. There ain't nobody that CAN guard your sorry ass. So when you step up to me, son, with your tough act and steel gaze, and then get smacked down into paste by an even tougher and badder sumbitch like Clubber Harris, I want you to look at each and every cut, every scrape, every bruise, and every bloodstain, and I want you to remember that your boy, Hotbody, was the one that put you up to it! I've been in fights that'll make your skin crawl, Zed. I have seen some stuff. So by all means, when you're ready to get some quality one-on-one time, I will give you an education you won't believe. COUNT ON IT!"

The heels make their way out and Luscious isn't about to let all that talk go unanswered. "All that talk and nothing to show for it! Look at all of this shine that we've got going on over here! Neither Michael nor Zed have anything to fear from two people like you! Gavin, you don't have a belt. Harris, you don't have a prayer." Everyone seems to have gotten what they need to say out of their system so now it's go time. Hotbody, of course, doesn't actually want to do anything here and is more than happy to let Zed muscle everyone else around. The Slammys need polishing you know! Gavin manages a hot tag to Harris and thus begins the part where Harris is on fire. Zed gets knocked around and Harris proceeds to bring in Hotbody against his will. Zed prevents any harm and slugs it out with Harris. Luscious slides a Slammy award to Hotbody and he tries to nail Clubber with it from behind. Clubber turns and catches Hotbody's arm and yanks the award away. Hotbody bails but Zed spins Harris around and he instinctively retaliates by striking Zed with the award causing the DQ. Gavin chases Hotbody around the ring and manages to grab him and send him back inside with Harris. Harris looks to drill Hotbody with the same award but Zed shoves Harris down from behind, scoops up Hotbody and gets his crew out of there. Heated doesn't even begin to describe this situation. ****1/2, 83% overall.

More backstage goodness as Madison and the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Wyldhearts want to rip into The Royal Effect. They hope that winning the Tag Team of the Year Slammy Award doesn't go to the heads of Moses McKay and King Kavovit. After all, the two of them were riding high as the Tag Team Champions not that long ago and living in a little bubble thinking they were untouchable and then that blew up in their faces. The Wyldhearts delivered a nice stiff jab when they captured these titles. So now all that's left is to knock out the Royal Effect for good. Believe Blaine and Robbie when they say they're ready whenever the Royal Effect are. 2041 is going to be year where everyone will have to pay attention to the Wyldhearts.

Fifth Match: Adam Hail and The Southern Belles vs. Simon Bennett and The Perfections
Nathan Quinn wants to laugh at the pathetic assemblage of clients under the banner of Paul Andrews. Andrews can get whoever he wants, they'll all be doing nothing but chasing rainbows and fantasies because they'll be chasing the best. Adam Hail is better than he's ever been. Hannah McCormick and Bobbi Jo are the Women's Tag Team Champions and the finest well-oiled machine in any of the tag divisions. "Paul, you need to understand that the main reason we're all in these positions is because you and your crew failed to see what was coming. You never suspected a damn thing because you lack vision. That's going to be your downfall. Bragging Rights is shaping up to be one of the worst nights of your career. First, my girls are going to keep these titles. Then, Adam Hail is going to put the finishing touches on what he started when he embarrasses Simon Bennett again. But don't take my word for it. By all means, come on down and get a piece!"

I've been wanting to do this trios match for a while, but Survivor Series kind of forced my hand to do other stuff. I'd have saved it for the PPV but I feel Bennett/Hail deserves a PPV slot on its own. The only issue is getting a buyrate large enough to cover their cost. Anyway, the match is the bomb as they work hard to offset the DUD factor. We head home as it's down to Bobbi and Bonnie as the legal competitors. The ref is distracted with Hail and Bennett going at it on the outside. Bobbi has Bonnie waistlocked and it looks like she's trying a suplex or takedown or whatever. Bonnie makes the ropes, trying to break free but Hannah uses this opportunity to clobber Bonnie with a title belt over the head. Bobbi uses the momentum to get a roll up and she uses the tights for good measure. Andrews and Quinn have managed to separate their clients the ref is free to count the cheap pin for the heels. Nathan Quinn might have had a point. ****1/2, 81% overall.

Sixth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Alexander Piero
This is essentially the main event but the final segment is going to be more talky stuff. Piero needs to be rebuilt, too, but Cross is the one with a major feud going on that still needs resolution. Cross declares that he's still looking to get retribution for being triple teamed at Survivor Series. He can't do anything about Ryan Pattillo now as he's got business at Bragging Rights. But Alexander Piero and Kyle Jacobs are ripe for the ass kicking. Cross hopes Jacobs is watching because he'll be bringing the same to his doorstep. Once that's all done, he hopes and prays that Ryan Pattillo is champion after Bragging Rights, because his beating will be the hat trick and just the start of the new year Cross is hoping for! We get a good outing here. Piero has managed to rack up some decent mileage this year despite still being relatively new and certainly way less seasoned than a guy like Cross. Cross makes good on his word, being hella vicious on Piero and working over the arm. It comes to an end when Piero fights back enough to where he can try a Flashpoint but his arm isn't up to snuff and he doubles over in pain, clutching the source. Cross grabs the arm and jumps over the rop, snapping the arm across it to make things worse. Cross slides in to go for the kill and he hits the Cross Cutter on a vulnerable Piero to get the pin. Afterwards, Cross looks like he's going to really deliver some punishment but HERE COME KYLE JACOBS!!! Cross feels discretion is the better form of valor and decides to bail. ****1/2, 83% overall.

SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT!!!!~~~ Time to close us out and we've got the number one contender for the WWE Unified World Title, Ryan Pattillo, joining us. "Against all odds and hope beyond hope, I knew that eventually I would be here again someday. I knew that I would be in prime position to once again take that top spot on the mountain and wear that gold one more time. It wasn't easy, watching the title scene get overrun with all of the drama and chaos and uncertainty. It's been a long time and while I may have forgotten a few things as time has passed, I haven't forgotten how to be a champion. I haven't forgotten how to win. At Bragging Rights I have the chance to close the book on a really bad time in my career and begin writing a new epic. In one night, in one big move, I can undo the bad and bring about something that you people deserve!"

"These people don't deserve a damn thing, Ryan." Well we knew this wasn't going to go on too long without an interruption. It's the Money in the Bank winner himself, Brandon Reigns! He talks as he makes way down to the ring to join Pattillo. "Oh, sure, I can give them a bit of credit for actually having the brains to name me as the Superstar of the Year, but a room full of monkeys could've made that same call. Although, maybe I can sort of see where you're coming from. A group of mediocrity definitely does deserve someone like you. You didn't just have a "bad time", Ryan. You had a disaster. And now you think you can somehow turn a negative into a positive? Well, points for enthusiasm, but you need to understand that should you succeed, it'll be fleeting. I'm here to remind you of what's in store for any champion that makes it out of the WrestleMania main event. The trail of bodies I've been leaving is leading to that night."

The music of Kerry Cemenko hits and the man himself makes his way out to give his thoughts, standing in the aisle. "Brandon, it's nice that you can make such bold plans, but the problem is that a lot can happen in the next few months. There could be a stock market crash. A new species of ocean life can be discovered! Crocs could make a comeback! But most importantly, I could probably mess you up so badly that WrestleMania won't even be possible for you. I know you feel like you have to come out here all the time and bluster and make a big showing for the sake of your ego, but I have to wonder as the days to WrestleMania begin to dry up, do you secretly look at yourself in the mirror and worry? Could all of your best laid plans be snuffed out in an instant? Would you be better off choosing to cash in that contract sooner? I don't envy your position, Reigns, but I know what I would've already done. I'd already be standing here the Unified Champion and I'd be the one looking towards WrestleMania."

Pattillo takes this opportunity to reply. "No, you'd be the one I'd be taking down at Bragging Rights."

Reigns interjects with his own take. "Sorry, but this is all moot anyway. You don't have this contract, Kerry. I do. Neither one of you was selected as Superstar of the Year. I WAS! There is nothing the two of you bring to the table that can shake my resolve!"

The music of the WWE Unified World Champion hits and Wrakk makes his way out onto the stage. "Maybe they can't rattle you, Brandon, but I sure as hell can. You got a trail of bodies? I've got a pile. You got a Slammy? I've got the Unified World Championship. You got the briefcase? I can shove it right up your ass. I am going to plow through everybody that gets thrown at me. Haven was the first. Ryan, you're going to be next. And when it all comes to pass, Brandon, once I've finished annihilating whoever is in that main event across from me at WrestleMania 57, if you're actually going to be there at ringside like you claim, I'm going to kneel over the broken body of my opponent, I'm going to hold up their head, face them towards you so you can see what's left of them, and I'm going to watch the piss drip from you as you slowly realize what a huge mistake you made in waiting so long. Now I don't have many vulnerable moments, but should you ever be so lucky to stumble across such an opportunity, you'd be stupid to not go for it. Of course, that actually might be worse."

Patillo responds by calling Wrakk stupid if he thinks he's heading into a cake walk at Bragging Rights. Wrakk counters that the two of them have already danced to this number before and it didn't turn out so great for Ryan in the end. Ryan dares Wrakk to test him right now if he's so confident. It'd be a great way to show a jackass like Reigns what he's getting himself into. Reigns takes offense to this comment and tries to cheap shot Pattillo in response. Pattillo blocks the shot and he and Reigns slug it out. Kerry slides in to lend a hand but Wrakk isn't too far behind. It's a wild four-man brawl. It comes to a close as Wrakk tries whacking Pattillo with one of his title belts but he swings too wildly and Pattillo avoids getting hit and manages to land the Shutdown on the champion. Reigns nails Pattillo from behind with his briefcase, sending Pattillo to the outside, leaving him standing over the fallen body of Wrakk. He looks down at the champion and it slowly dawns on him what an opportunity this is. He looks at the Money in the Bank briefcase, then back at Wrakk. He looks around the arena with an expression of uncertainty. Is he thinking about cashing in right now?!? This could really disrupt things if he decides to do it. He clutches the briefcase, still looking unsure, but Kerry Cemenko is going to make the decision for him by getting back into the fight and clotheslining Reigns over the top. Reigns decides he's done for the night and takes off in disgust as we go off the air. Would Reigns have done it??? The march towards Bragging Rights continues!

Overall show rating: 82%

I didn't say to stop sucking my balls!!!

06-27-2023, 10:04 AM	#3415
M-A-G Higher. Further. Faster. Posts: 20,875	This post is sponsored by Radio Shack Raw: December 10, 2040 Twenty Minute Opening Promo of Doom Time as Orlando Kincaid of all people decides to start things off. He's not going to lie to us, he's had a rough couple of weeks. It was a rough pill to swallow losing at Survivor Series, but then it was an even rougher one last week when Ryan Pattillo came out on top. Now he has to watch Pattillo go on to possibly win the Unified World Title at Bragging Rights. "Well, Ryan, last week you said you owe me for your new found focus. I'd hate for you to carry such a debt with you so on the off chance that you're able crank out a miracle and take home the title twenty days from tonight, I've got a great idea about how you can repay me and that's giving me a crack at it." "Orlando, Orlando, Orlando...", speaks a voice, interrupting things. Everyone looks to the stage and out from the back, one at a time, emerges Chet Morris, Quinten McDaniels...and Hugo! What's the deal with these three? They all step into the ring and stand facing Orlando as Quinten continues on the mic. "At ease, Orlando. You've got nothing to worry about when it comes to the three of us. You know Chet and myself, obviously, and you know that if we're coming to you, we have nothing but the best of intentions. The three of us have come together for very different, yet very similar reasons. There's been a weight tied to each of us and it's what's been holding us back from our real potential. Chet had his worthless cousin dragging him down. Hugo was too confined by rules and regulations. And myself? Unfinished business. Orlando, I think it's safe to say that I know you better than anyone and I definitely sympathize with what you're saying out here. But take it from us, you can't move forward unless you're willing to be honest with yourself. You see there is a great man that we think you should meet, Orlando, and his name is Victor Dark." Chet takes the mic and continues from where Quinten started. "Orlando, we go way back, so we can be honest with each other. Victor Dark helped us all realize what was wrong in our lives, and in turn, we can now see what's wrong in yours. We would all love to have you at our side as we help you get rid of the baggage that's holding you back." Orlando takes this opportunity to interrupt. "Are you talking about Haven? Uh, hate to break it you guys, but I've been over him and that whole mess for a long time now, so I don't know where all of this is coming from." Quinten takes back the mic and sighs before responding. "Orlando, you can't kid yourself and you can't kid us. Victor Dark has shined the light on something so obvious. We're prisoners of our past until the moment we confront it and destroy it. This is why Noah Carmichael and Seth Von Kamp managed to get the better of me. It's because I've been letting myself get the better of me. Victor is reaching out to you as a former victim of Haven's nonsense, but more importantly, I'm reaching out to you as a friend. We'll happily be at your side as you take the first real step towards actual rehabilitation." Orlando takes his time as he looks at each of the other men and then gives his reply. "Quinten, no offense, but what the hell have you been smoking? Chet, don't take this wrong way, but I've always thought you smelled kind of funky. You, Hugo, I don't know what your deal is and we've never had any kind of relationship, but just the fact that you're standing here swallowing all of this crap tells me you're as dumb as you are big. And Quinten, did it ever occur to you that the reason you couldn't beat Noah and Seth is because you just suck?" The crowd cheers all of this as each man is aghast at what Orlando is saying. He's not done, though. "Last I checked, Quinten, when we all split, you wanted nothing to do with me. Well, I learned to deal with that so you're a little late to the party. And as far as your great man Victor Dark goes, all I need to know about the guy is that he apparently doesn't have the balls to even come out here himself and face me. So thanks, but no thanks. I've got better things to do. You guys have fun with whatever the hell this is." With that, Orlando tosses the mic down and makes his exit. Upon reaching the stage, he meets Victor Dark himself who merely looks at him briefly before closing his eyes and shaking his head. He steps aside and gestures to Kincaid to continue his exit. This isn't stopping Quinten McDaniels, though, and he gets back on the mic. "That's fine and dandy, Orlando. I guess we're just going to have to make a better pitch. We dare any team back there to come on out and face any two of us right here and now and maybe then you'll see what you're turning down!" With that we go to break as the three men await an answer. First Match: Hugo and Chet Morris vs. The Wasteland Well, we've our answer as we return from break as Duke and Drakken have stepped up to the plate. Quinten plays cheerleader on the outside as Hugo and Chet pretty much dominate this motherfucker. It comes to an end when the faces manage to get their shit together and have Chet set up for the Toxic Kiss but Quinten drags Drakken out of the ring behind the ref's back. Duke turns around to see this and that allows Chet to low blow him and deliver his Backwoods Bomb variation to score the pin. WAIT A MINUTE!!! HERE COMES EDDY CLASH!!! He's full of piss and vinegar and tries his hand at getting to Hugo. The three heels decide to regroup instead and make their escape. Like I said, more twists and turns. ***, 87% overall. Second Match: Neil Quint vs. Ozzy Mandias Ozzy gets on the mic as he wants to explain his actions. He declares that both Martyn LaSalle and Jordan Demiras got what was coming to them, something that was overdue. If it weren't for their incompetence and arrogance, Ozzy Mandias would be standing before all of us as the Cruiserweight Champion. Martyn LaSalle talked himself into a corner and ended up not being able to cash that check. "It's not my problem that he couldn't handle being called out on his BS! And then to add to the misery, all of you people though that freaking Jordan Demiras deserved a Slammy? For what?!? If he thinks he's earned that Slammy so badly, I'll knock him upside the head with it and then shove it up his ass because I'm through with being in the backseat!" So with that said, we've got a match to take care of and it's pretty lit. I've got plans for both guys and there's no need to end Quint's streak just yet. Neil has Ozzy set up for the Quintessential Top Rope Maneuver but Ozzy rolls out of the ring before Neil can launch. Ozzy tries taking a breather BUT HERE COMES JORDAN DEMIRAS!!! He's looking none too happy and Ozzy realizes this and thus gets the bright idea of running away with Demiras in pursuit. That's going to give Neil the count out win as he continues his winning ways but no doubt this isn't over between Demiras and Ozzy. 1/4, 81% overall. Hey, suck my balls, DUD show! Third Match: Ethan Lang and Cameron Harper vs. The Sin City Rollers So this is the first team up between Jake Connelly's clients. Connelly declares that he sees great potential in both of these young talents, but he wants to be see how well they fire on all cylinders together. That's why he issued an open challenge earlier to see if there is any team that can put his new project to the test. Connelly believes that Lang and Harper can go far...now they have to prove it. Vic Gambler and Luis Ortega have answered the call and are ready to put these two newbies over. With Lang being a top merchandise seller, I may have a hidden gem here on my hands. I didn't foresee that big of a future for him but the game might be giving me a sign. Connelly gets his two clients through this ordeal with his verbal orders as the Rollers obviously have a huge experience advantage here. Lang does the job of clean up after Harper gets the hot tag. Lang hits Gambler with the Bitter Languish and stumbles into the corner for a brief respite. Harper tags himself in and jumps on Gambler's body to score the pin. Connelly slides in to celebrate and congratulate the two as it appears he's got himself another pair of winners. 1/2, 81% overall. Seriously, suck my balls. In-Ring Super Special Talky Time this time with the WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. "I knew from the moment I won this strap there was going to be nothing a barrage of would-be potential champions coming right at me, all looking to want to make a mark and all at the expense of my name. I scratched and clawed for nearly a decade to finally get my hands on this beauty so my only real message to the poor SOBs who are thinking of trying their hand is good freaking luck and sorry about what I'm going to do to your face. This belt will definitely get you noticed so it should be no surprise that I've got Chris Collins knocking at my door. Chris, we go back, and I always wondered where we'd each end up after we went our separate ways. Fast forward to right now, and I have to say that I'm not exactly interested in being part of your crisis. But like I said before, the struggle for this belt was real and I'm prepared to do it again, especially against someone like you. So I'll be there at Bragging Rights just like you asked. Think of it as a little something for old times sake. But as far as what you're going to do with yourself after I beat you, well, I can't help you there." The arena gets blasted with the sounds of the entrance music of Chris Collins and the second-generation star makes his way on out to the stage. How's he going to respond to this? "Seth, if I hadn't been dealing with so many small fry issues this past year, understand that I would have surpassed where you are without so much as breaking a sweat. Now it's time for me to start catching the big fish again. Today, the Intercontinental Title; tomorrow...well, the sky is limit as far as I'm concerned. You can parade that lovely piece of hardware around all you like, but you're still the same Seth Von Kamp I used to know. I, on the other hand, am a new man. Sorry to have to cut your new lease on life short, but destiny is calling and you're in the damn way. Keep your apologies, Seth. I'm going to be just fine after Bragging Rights." And with that, Chris drops the mic and confidently struts his way to the back leaving Seth with a ponderous look on his face. Backstage, Brooke is with Salvatore Scabbia and Ronnie Costello, and none of them are having what the Academy said on SmackDown!. Brooke has all of her ducks in a row. The Academy just didn't have what it took to measure up to the standards she has and so they decided it'd be easier to tuck tail and run. Well, it's not easier. Scabbia and Ronnie are prepared to make things VERY difficult for them. They've actually been toying with the idea of challenging the Academy to a match at Bragging Rights. Brooke thinks it's a great idea...or is that too tough for Justin and Randy? Fourth Match: Gavin Jones and Clubber Harris vs. The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover of the Manager of the Year Slammy Award Winner and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, The Two Time Slammy Award Winner Including the Rookie of the Year and the Most Envied Superstar of the Year, the Man Who is the Rightful Winner of the Slammy for Cruiserweight of the Year, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones Gavin Jones gets on the mic and addresses his current deal with Michael Hotbody. "I may have lost my crew and I may have lost my partnership, but I haven't lost my ability to get under people's skin. And if there's one person who's been asking for it for a very long time, it's none other than a guy who managed to win an award called Douche of the Year. Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful ceremony on SmackDown!, but you'll forgive me for reading the room and reaching the conclusion that, just like me, everyone is sick and tired of Michael Hotbody and company. But there's a bigger issue at hand than Hotbody being a stain on this business. Hotbody, you've got the Cruiserweight Championship, and every day that passes where you're able to call yourself that is an embarrassment and a slap in my face. I've damn near broken my body for that belt in the past and I'm ready to do it all over again because a coward like you doesn't deserve it. But that's Bragging Rights; tonight is another deal entirely. And as I mentioned before, I am without my crew but I am not without backup. You've got a whole other problem with the man standing right next to me. I think he's got something to get off his chest, too. What say you, Clubber?" Clubber Harris takes the mic and focuses his words on Zed Jones. "It's nice and all that Michael Hotbody has got himself a bodyguard in you, Zed. Unfortunately, there ain't nobody guarding your sorry ass. There ain't nobody that CAN guard your sorry ass. So when you step up to me, son, with your tough act and steel gaze, and then get smacked down into paste by an even tougher and badder sumbitch like Clubber Harris, I want you to look at each and every cut, every scrape, every bruise, and every bloodstain, and I want you to remember that your boy, Hotbody, was the one that put you up to it! I've been in fights that'll make your skin crawl, Zed. I have seen some stuff. So by all means, when you're ready to get some quality one-on-one time, I will give you an education you won't believe. COUNT ON IT!" The heels make their way out and Luscious isn't about to let all that talk go unanswered. "All that talk and nothing to show for it! Look at all of this shine that we've got going on over here! Neither Michael nor Zed have anything to fear from two people like you! Gavin, you don't have a belt. Harris, you don't have a prayer." Everyone seems to have gotten what they need to say out of their system so now it's go time. Hotbody, of course, doesn't actually want to do anything here and is more than happy to let Zed muscle everyone else around. The Slammys need polishing you know! Gavin manages a hot tag to Harris and thus begins the part where Harris is on fire. Zed gets knocked around and Harris proceeds to bring in Hotbody against his will. Zed prevents any harm and slugs it out with Harris. Luscious slides a Slammy award to Hotbody and he tries to nail Clubber with it from behind. Clubber turns and catches Hotbody's arm and yanks the award away. Hotbody bails but Zed spins Harris around and he instinctively retaliates by striking Zed with the award causing the DQ. Gavin chases Hotbody around the ring and manages to grab him and send him back inside with Harris. Harris looks to drill Hotbody with the same award but Zed shoves Harris down from behind, scoops up Hotbody and gets his crew out of there. Heated doesn't even begin to describe this situation. 1/2, 83% overall. More backstage goodness as Madison and the WWE Unified Tag Team Champions The Wyldhearts want to rip into The Royal Effect. They hope that winning the Tag Team of the Year Slammy Award doesn't go to the heads of Moses McKay and King Kavovit. After all, the two of them were riding high as the Tag Team Champions not that long ago and living in a little bubble thinking they were untouchable and then that blew up in their faces. The Wyldhearts delivered a nice stiff jab when they captured these titles. So now all that's left is to knock out the Royal Effect for good. Believe Blaine and Robbie when they say they're ready whenever the Royal Effect are. 2041 is going to be year where everyone will have to pay attention to the Wyldhearts. Fifth Match: Adam Hail and The Southern Belles vs. Simon Bennett and The Perfections Nathan Quinn wants to laugh at the pathetic assemblage of clients under the banner of Paul Andrews. Andrews can get whoever he wants, they'll all be doing nothing but chasing rainbows and fantasies because they'll be chasing the best. Adam Hail is better than he's ever been. Hannah McCormick and Bobbi Jo are the Women's Tag Team Champions and the finest well-oiled machine in any of the tag divisions. "Paul, you need to understand that the main reason we're all in these positions is because you and your crew failed to see what was coming. You never suspected a damn thing because you lack vision. That's going to be your downfall. Bragging Rights is shaping up to be one of the worst nights of your career. First, my girls are going to keep these titles. Then, Adam Hail is going to put the finishing touches on what he started when he embarrasses Simon Bennett again. But don't take my word for it. By all means, come on down and get a piece!" I've been wanting to do this trios match for a while, but Survivor Series kind of forced my hand to do other stuff. I'd have saved it for the PPV but I feel Bennett/Hail deserves a PPV slot on its own. The only issue is getting a buyrate large enough to cover their cost. Anyway, the match is the bomb as they work hard to offset the DUD factor. We head home as it's down to Bobbi and Bonnie as the legal competitors. The ref is distracted with Hail and Bennett going at it on the outside. Bobbi has Bonnie waistlocked and it looks like she's trying a suplex or takedown or whatever. Bonnie makes the ropes, trying to break free but Hannah uses this opportunity to clobber Bonnie with a title belt over the head. Bobbi uses the momentum to get a roll up and she uses the tights for good measure. Andrews and Quinn have managed to separate their clients the ref is free to count the cheap pin for the heels. Nathan Quinn might have had a point. 1/2, 81% overall. Sixth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Alexander Piero This is essentially the main event but the final segment is going to be more talky stuff. Piero needs to be rebuilt, too, but Cross is the one with a major feud going on that still needs resolution. Cross declares that he's still looking to get retribution for being triple teamed at Survivor Series. He can't do anything about Ryan Pattillo now as he's got business at Bragging Rights. But Alexander Piero and Kyle Jacobs are ripe for the ass kicking. Cross hopes Jacobs is watching because he'll be bringing the same to his doorstep. Once that's all done, he hopes and prays that Ryan Pattillo is champion after Bragging Rights, because his beating will be the hat trick and just the start of the new year Cross is hoping for! We get a good outing here. Piero has managed to rack up some decent mileage this year despite still being relatively new and certainly way less seasoned than a guy like Cross. Cross makes good on his word, being hella vicious on Piero and working over the arm. It comes to an end when Piero fights back enough to where he can try a Flashpoint but his arm isn't up to snuff and he doubles over in pain, clutching the source. Cross grabs the arm and jumps over the rop, snapping the arm across it to make things worse. Cross slides in to go for the kill and he hits the Cross Cutter on a vulnerable Piero to get the pin. Afterwards, Cross looks like he's going to really deliver some punishment but HERE COME KYLE JACOBS!!! Cross feels discretion is the better form of valor and decides to bail. 1/2, 83% overall. SPORTZ ENTERTAINMENT!!!!~~~ Time** to close us out and we've got the number one contender for the WWE Unified World Title, Ryan Pattillo, joining us. "Against all odds and hope beyond hope, I knew that eventually I would be here again someday. I knew that I would be in prime position to once again take that top spot on the mountain and wear that gold one more time. It wasn't easy, watching the title scene get overrun with all of the drama and chaos and uncertainty. It's been a long time and while I may have forgotten a few things as time has passed, I haven't forgotten how to be a champion. I haven't forgotten how to win. At Bragging Rights I have the chance to close the book on a really bad time in my career and begin writing a new epic. In one night, in one big move, I can undo the bad and bring about something that you people deserve!" "These people don't deserve a damn thing, Ryan." Well we knew this wasn't going to go on too long without an interruption. It's the Money in the Bank winner himself, Brandon Reigns! He talks as he makes way down to the ring to join Pattillo. "Oh, sure, I can give them a bit of credit for actually having the brains to name me as the Superstar of the Year, but a room full of monkeys could've made that same call. Although, maybe I can sort of see where you're coming from. A group of mediocrity definitely does deserve someone like you. You didn't just have a "bad time", Ryan. You had a disaster. And now you think you can somehow turn a negative into a positive? Well, points for enthusiasm, but you need to understand that should you succeed, it'll be fleeting. I'm here to remind you of what's in store for any champion that makes it out of the WrestleMania main event. The trail of bodies I've been leaving is leading to that night." The music of Kerry Cemenko hits and the man himself makes his way out to give his thoughts, standing in the aisle. "Brandon, it's nice that you can make such bold plans, but the problem is that a lot can happen in the next few months. There could be a stock market crash. A new species of ocean life can be discovered! Crocs could make a comeback! But most importantly, I could probably mess you up so badly that WrestleMania won't even be possible for you. I know you feel like you have to come out here all the time and bluster and make a big showing for the sake of your ego, but I have to wonder as the days to WrestleMania begin to dry up, do you secretly look at yourself in the mirror and worry? Could all of your best laid plans be snuffed out in an instant? Would you be better off choosing to cash in that contract sooner? I don't envy your position, Reigns, but I know what I would've already done. I'd already be standing here the Unified Champion and I'd be the one looking towards WrestleMania." Pattillo takes this opportunity to reply. "No, you'd be the one I'd be taking down at Bragging Rights." Reigns interjects with his own take. "Sorry, but this is all moot anyway. You don't have this contract, Kerry. I do. Neither one of you was selected as Superstar of the Year. I WAS! There is nothing the two of you bring to the table that can shake my resolve!" The music of the WWE Unified World Champion hits and Wrakk makes his way out onto the stage. "Maybe they can't rattle you, Brandon, but I sure as hell can. You got a trail of bodies? I've got a pile. You got a Slammy? I've got the Unified World Championship. You got the briefcase? I can shove it right up your ass. I am going to plow through everybody that gets thrown at me. Haven was the first. Ryan, you're going to be next. And when it all comes to pass, Brandon, once I've finished annihilating whoever is in that main event across from me at WrestleMania 57, if you're actually going to be there at ringside like you claim, I'm going to kneel over the broken body of my opponent, I'm going to hold up their head, face them towards you so you can see what's left of them, and I'm going to watch the piss drip from you as you slowly realize what a huge mistake you made in waiting so long. Now I don't have many vulnerable moments, but should you ever be so lucky to stumble across such an opportunity, you'd be stupid to not go for it. Of course, that actually might be worse." Patillo responds by calling Wrakk stupid if he thinks he's heading into a cake walk at Bragging Rights. Wrakk counters that the two of them have already danced to this number before and it didn't turn out so great for Ryan in the end. Ryan dares Wrakk to test him right now if he's so confident. It'd be a great way to show a jackass like Reigns what he's getting himself into. Reigns takes offense to this comment and tries to cheap shot Pattillo in response. Pattillo blocks the shot and he and Reigns slug it out. Kerry slides in to lend a hand but Wrakk isn't too far behind. It's a wild four-man brawl. It comes to a close as Wrakk tries whacking Pattillo with one of his title belts but he swings too wildly and Pattillo avoids getting hit and manages to land the Shutdown on the champion. Reigns nails Pattillo from behind with his briefcase, sending Pattillo to the outside, leaving him standing over the fallen body of Wrakk. He looks down at the champion and it slowly dawns on him what an opportunity this is. He looks at the Money in the Bank briefcase, then back at Wrakk. He looks around the arena with an expression of uncertainty. Is he thinking about cashing in right now?!? This could really disrupt things if he decides to do it. He clutches the briefcase, still looking unsure, but Kerry Cemenko is going to make the decision for him by getting back into the fight and clotheslining Reigns over the top. Reigns decides he's done for the night and takes off in disgust as we go off the air. Would Reigns have done it??? The march towards Bragging Rights continues! Overall show rating: 82% I didn't say to stop sucking my balls!!! Last edited by M-A-G; 06-27-2023 at 10:15 AM.