[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito AEW Collision June 24, 2023 Title for Title: AEW Women's World Champion Toni Storm vs. NJPW Strong Women's Champion Willow Nightingale As expected, on the real-life Dynamite that just ended, this match got announced for the actual PPV. Glad they are getting the shine in real life. In EWR land though, sorry ladies, I only have so many PPV spots. But throwing them out there first when the crowd is often at a fever pitch is hopefully something of a make-good. Anyway, they had themselves a strong match with a lot of NJPW-esque hard hitting befitting of the occasion. Toni uses some underhanded tactics throughout the match and Willow begins charging back. However, as the match seems to be reaching a crescendo, both women are suddenly taken out by a crossbody by someone else! Is that who I think it is, yes it is! It's ATHENA! The Ring of Honor Women's Champion Athena has been doing her thing on the red and black brand for months, and apparently she feels overlooked. She uses the element of surprise to her advantage, hitting Toni with the O-Face and locking Willow into a Crossface. The surprise appearance of Athena has caught everybody off-guard The Fallen Goddess holds the ROH Women's Title above her head as we fade to commercial. ***, 75% overall ---

I had to look up Athena and to say I'm scared would be an understatement. You may not need Kong after all. I, on the other hand, need more Toni in my life.

Mark Henry: "Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm here backstage with none other than Samoa Joe. Joe, a lot has been said about your surprise attack on CM Punk last week, with people even speculating you're working on behalf of MJF. Can you clarify things for us?" Samoa Joe: "Mark, I want to get one thing straight, I don't work for anyone but myself. People are quick to make stories to suit their own narratives, aren't they? MJF? No, that's not the case. This is about CM Punk, and me. This goes way back, Mark, to the Ring of Honor days. Punk has always been selfish. He seems to think he can just waltz back into the business and hog the spotlight. The spotlight that those of us, who have been grinding and carrying this company on our backs since he's been gone, have earned. That doesn't sit right with me. He wants back in, he has to know that he's walking into my yard." Mark Henry: "Strong words, Joe. Looking ahead, there's been a lot of buzz around your Forbidden Door match against Zack Sabre Jr. What's your take on that?" Samoa Joe: "Forbidden Door, yeah, it's a buzzword. A lot of talent is booked for Forbidden Door, but it seems like they're all conveniently not booked to wrestle tonight. Are they scared? Do they lack the courage to step up on Collision? But let me tell you something, Mark. I'm not like them. I'm here. I'm willing to put my ROH Television Title on the line right here tonight against anyone brave enough to step up to the plate. Because that's who Samoa Joe is. I'm not a coward. I'm a fighter, and I'm here to fight." Mark Henry: "There you have it, folks. Samoa Joe is here and he's laying down the challenge. Whoever decides to step up, they've got a fight waiting for them. Back to you at ringside." ---

How is this ROH deal supposed to be working? Do people just go back and forth as they please or is a title necessary? The pieces are there to do a big time promotion vs. promotion angle if you were so inclined.

The Hardys (Matt and Jeff Hardy) vs. The Kingdom (Matt Taven and Mike Bennett) w/ Maria Kanellis The reunited Men of the Year, Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky, join the commentary table for this one as they spend the entire time egotistically running down the Hardys. A pretty solid showing here all things considered, as all four guys are seasoned pros. Although I will likely not have the Hardys win too many matches in this universe, The Kingdom are an underneath ROH tag team I don't see myself doing too much with so a Hardys win to avoid jobbing them out too much makes sense as I build their program. Jeff Hardy hits the Swanton Bomb on Taven for the win. The Hardys stand on the turnbuckles and point at Men of the Year, letting them know they haven't forgotten about the cheap shots last week. ***, 76% overall ---

LOL, OMG @ Maria Kinellis. I remember your crush on her. I wonder if she has any regrets and hard feelings seeing Punk happily married. Forget Matt and Jeff; SHE'S the big shock to me if she's still sticking her hand in wrestling these days. I would've thought Matt and Jeff would be two of the most over members of the roster and boost that rating a bit more. Still, this was nothing to sneeze at.

Madison Rayne vs. Thunder Rosa Thunder Rosa was among the handful of AEW returnees who turned up for the Collision debut, and this is her in-ring return. As you could expect, she's going to be kept looking strong in this match. I more or less visualized this as an extended squash with Rosa largely dominating proceedings, finishing it off with a Fire Thunder Driver. This was the worst match of the night and still got the Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling label, so that's a mark of a solid night. **3/4, 71% overall ---

Madison Rayne is another blast from the past. I'd give her a blast, I tell you what.

Mark Henry is standing backstage with Ricky Starks, FTR, The Lucha Brothers, and Alex Abrahantes. Mark Henry: Hello agin ladies and gentlemen. Joining me now are an intimidating assembly of talent. Ricky, there's no denying there's been some serious friction between you and Bullet Club Gold recently, especially with Powerhouse Hobbs. Could you enlighten us on this ongoing issue? Ricky Starks: Mark, let me tell you something, man. Bullet Club Gold thinks they're the biggest game in town, but they're nothing more than a cheap knockoff brand. Jay White, Juice Robinson, and Powerhouse Hobbs – it's like a group project where no one did their homework. As for Hobbs... now, that's a special case. We go way back, all the way back three years ago to the Team Taz days. But I've never seen such a massive man accomplish so little. His name is 'Powerhouse' Hobbs, right? More like 'Out-of-Power' Hobbs, if you ask me. He's all brawn, no brain. I've never met a man who could lift so much but understand so little. I beat him in a Street Fight last year, and I'll do it again if I have to. Mark Henry: Tonight, Jay White and Juice Robinson are scheduled to meet the Lucha Brothers in tag team action. Do you have any thoughts? Ricky Starks: I think Bullet Club Gold has forgotten what they're dealing with here. It's one thing to have issues with me and FTR, we've been dealing with their nonsense for a while now. But now, they've gone ahead and pissed off even more people. Let me tell you something about the Lucha Brothers. Fenix and Penta don't know the meaning of fear. These boys were wrestling in barns and fields before any of these goons even laced up their boots. Tonight, they're going to show Bullet Club Gold what "cero miedo" truly means. Mark Henry: Well, it sounds like Bullet Club Gold is going to have their hands full tonight. We look forward to seeing this intense rivalry unfold in the ring. Best of luck to you all. ---

Abrahantes is a new last name that I've never heard. I imagine him ending up in Vince Land being named Abraham Alexanderson. Mark Henry doing interviews still continues to be funny. It's just a weird visual to imagine.

Dalton Castle w/ The Boys vs. Andrade El Idolo w/ La Faccion Ingobernable Similarly, this is Andrade's in-ring return after a surprise return last week. I don't view this one as quite as much of a squash though. Although Castle is mostly in ROH land, he's got charisma coming out the ass and has a compelling, entertaining personality for any great heel to play off of. I'm not sure how much I'll push him him as an in-ring competitor but worst case he should make a brilliant manager someday. Be that as it may, these two have a solid-in ring showing with Andrade getting most of his big moves in as he starts to take charge. LFI and the Boys have a proper fuck-about at ringside and Andrade hits La Sombra for the win. Afterwards, here comes JungleHook again to get them some and we've got a good 'ol brawl to send us into the next add break. ***, 75% overall ---

La Sombra translates to "the shade" so it's safe to say that Andrade threw some shade on him. Dalton has a cool name and it would fit well for a manager.

Miro vs. Jeff Cobb Now here's a juicy Forbidden Door preview. I didn't think I was going to book any NJPW talent outside of the PPV, but I was trying to think of an opponent for Miro and I was browsing through available talent and Cobb's name stood out immediately. Incredibly similar stats to Miro, overness in the high 60s which at worse isn't gonna drag a match down beyond repair. Figured it was as good a time as any to use him before he heads off on his next tour. So I said fuck it, booked it, and magic resulted. These two guys blended insanely well together and now that I've done this I really wanna see this match in real-life. They're both similarly built barrel-chested dudes. Anyway, big meaty men were slapping meat in this one before Miro gets a pin with the Machka Kick. Consider this an early 1-0 edge for AEW as we head into Forbidden Door. ****, 83% overall ---

I'm going to try to be an adult about the slapping meat line. Big beefy men reaching four stars is a rarity so enjoy it when it happens. I'd make Cobb's finisher the Tossed Salad. Hey, I said I was going to be an adult about the meat thing. I didn't say anything about anything else.

[The scene opens in a dimly lit room, shadows dancing across the grim visage of the three members of The House of Black. Malakai's eyes, one darker than the night itself, look straight into the camera, as he begins to speak, his voice as cold as the grave.] Malakai Black: "The Acclaimed, Billy Gunn... last week was merely the beginning. The reckoning that fell upon you... that wasn't personal. No, you were just... inconvenient obstacles, standing in the path of the inevitable. This is not about you, it is about me... and the darkness we must bring forth." [Malakai walks slowly across the room in front of the other two members, his steps echoing in the eerie silence, the camera follows.] Malakai Black: "You, like so many others, live in the light. But that light is not purity. It's an illusion, it's blindness... and we are the ones who will open your eyes." [A slight grimace touches his lips, not quite a smile, as he continues.] Malakai Black: "You wear your victories like badges of honor, but they are nothing. They are the shackles that bind you to the illusion. Each victory, each cheer from the crowd, they only tighten your bonds." [He comes to a stop, turning back to the camera, his gaze piercing the darkness.] Malakai Black: "The Acclaimed... Billy Gunn... we have already taken you out in the ring. You wanted to fight again, but last week you were forced to realize how quickly your reality can shatter. That was merely a glimpse into the void, a taste of the House of Black. You can no longer ignore the darkness at your doorstep, the rot within." [He leans forward, his voice dropping lower, the gravity of his words echoing throughout the room.] Malakai Black: "This is your fate. You are just lambs in the grander scheme, sacrifices on the altar of the inevitable. I didn't choose you... the darkness did." [He steps back into the shadows, his figure becoming one with the darkness.] Malakai Black: "You will understand, in time. When all the lights have gone out, when all the cheers have turned to silence... You will understand once and for all, that the House always wins. [The scene fades, leaving only his chilling words hanging in the air.] ---

This is some old school Undertaker/Mankind/Jake Roberts stuff. I try my best to do this kind of thing with Haven, but it's always a chore because there's a certain way to do stuff like this without it sounding hokey.

Samoa Joe cockily struts out, ready to defend his TV Title less than 24 hours before a technical war with Zack Sabre Jr. Perhaps the fans were expecting someone else from NJPW to walk through the Forbidden Door...but instead they got a hometown hero. It's Ontario's own Shawn Spears! ROH Television Championship: Samoa Joe (C) vs. Shawn Spears Feel like this is a good spot for a hometown guy. Wrestling fans are predominantly smarks now and I'm sure everybody realistically knows Joe would go over, but adding that hometown element is enough to plant even the slightest bit of doubt in the minds of even the jaded fans. Anyway the story here is Joe was being arrogant and figuring he'd just roll through anyone he faced. Instead, Spears came in like a house of fire, catching him off guard and nearly pulling off the upset a few times. Eventually though he gets his shit together and pulls off a flurry of submissions, send a statement to Sabre ahead of their match. He gets the win with the Coquina Clutch. Sending another statement, he leaves the Clutch locked in on the hometown guy long after the bell as the ref tries in vain to brain it up. Eventually Cult of Personality hits and Punk charges to the ring! Joe rolls out of there and takes his leave. ***1/4, 79% overall --- CM Punk, standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone in hand, watches Samoa Joe flee the scene. There's a mixture of anger and determination on his face. CM Punk: "Joe, you can run all you want but there's nowhere to hide. You see, I heard your cute little interview earlier. You don't like me 'waltzing' back into the business, 'hogging the spotlight'. Well, I'm sorry, Joe, but you've got it all wrong. This isn't about the spotlight. This is about the love of this business, the fans, the fight. You attacked me, you took the shot. You had your reasons, and honestly, I don't give a damn about them. You thought it was about making a statement? Well, I'm here to tell you, Joe, you've just written a check your mouth can't cash. Now, we've got some business at Forbidden Door, sure, and I'm not one to overlook a challenge. I've got Hiroshi Tanahashi to focus on. You've got your hands full with Zack Sabre Jr. But you best believe, once that's over, I'm coming for you, Joe. Next week, on Collision... Joe, I don't want to hear any more of your interviews, I don't want to hear about who you are or aren't working for. I want you. No running, no hiding. You fired the shot, Joe... now it's time to pay the price. See you next week, Joe." And with that, Punk drops the microphone, leaving his message to echo through the arena, the fans erupting in cheers, as the tension for next week's Collision intensifies. ---

Shawn Spears has a good name. I'd book him as a Britney fanboy who's way too obsessed and went the extra mile to change his last name to match hers. God damn, I can be stupid when I really put my mind to it, so to speak.

It sucks that my flame for real world wrestling is dead and gone because I just know Punk would be bringing the goods just like this promo. It just feels so odd how some indy schmuck from over 20 years ago now has the ability to command so much attention and conversation...even from people who want to claim that he sucks and isn't worth shit.

Bullet Club Gold ("Switchblade" Jay White and Juice Robinson) w/ Powerhouse Hobbs vs. The Lucha Brothers (Penta El Cero Miedo and Rey Fenix) w/ Alex Abrahantes Four episodes of TV in a row where a really fucking good match is closing out the proceedings, including both episodes of Collision. That's always a damn good sign here. My tag division feels like it's gonna be magic to book as I have so many combinations to work with. Jay White and Juice Robinson aren't even set up as an official tag team in-game but Dean Malenko told me afterwards their styles blend well as a team...meaning I think I got another bonus to the match rating. Anyway, this ruled as you'd come to expect. Lots of nearfalls and drama, lots of Bullet Club shithousery. Powerhouse makes a menace of himself and the heels pick up the win with an illegal double team. Afterwards, Bullet Club Gold pick up where they left off last week by putting the boots to the Brothers, and even look like they're gonna do some damage to poor Alex Abrahantes. But FTR and Ricky Starks run in for the save, I sense a trios match can't be much further into the future. ****1/4, 87% overall rating 81% overall show rating

I could go either way on the name Juice Robinson. Of course, it could be an easy target for ridicule if the guy was ripped and overly muscular. But when you're racking up ratings like that, what does it matter? One of my favorite eye-rolling things of EWR is when you have an established team on a show and your road agent is apparently gobsmacked over how well they mesh and work together. It's like, how much am I paying you again?