[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Evil Vito TNT Championship: Wardlow (C) w/ Arn Anderson vs. Luchasaurus w/ Christian Cage A good 'ol fashioned hoss fight to kick us off tonight. Both guys have very brawl-heavy arsenals mixed with the occasional surprise aerial maneuver. Their stats suggest they'd gel well and the match quality for this one agrees. Christian tries to run interference in the heat of the moment only for Arn Anderson to pop the crowd by giving him a Spinebuster at ringside. Wardlow muscles up the big man for a Powerbomb to retain his title. ***1/2, 79% overall ---

The cynic in me is reading this secretly wanting an Arn/Christian match, but being sad that it's never going to happen. I'd like to imagine Christian doing an NWO-type parody, but in much better taste. Maybe make fun of Arn for being wrestling's most famous second banana. People don't really call this dude Luchasaurus, right? I can see it as a funny nickname like Booger Red or whatever the fuck, but that's about it.

We see "Hangman" Adam Page, not booked to wrestle tonight, having a beer in the locker room with fellow members of The Elite. As they discuss their ongoing business with the Blackpool Combat Club, their convedation is cut short as the ominous presence of The Dark Order approaches. The Elite members look on, unsure of what's about to unfold. The leader of The Dark Order, Evil Uno, steps forward, his face obscured by his trademark mask. The other members, Alex Reynolds, John Silver and Stu Grayson flank him, their expressions serious.

See, "Hangman" is a great name. There's a lot to work with there. On the other side of this, I have to say it's hard to take something called The Dark Order seriously when it's got guys named "Stu Grayson" and "John Silver". I immediately think of the fucking restaurant when I hear that name...which is mysteriously still in business somehow.

"Hangman," Evil Uno begins, his voice echoing in the silent hallway, "we thought you were better than this." Adam Page looks at them, confusion clouding his features. "Better than what?" he asks, putting down his drink. "Than running back to The Elite," Silver responds bitterly, crossing his arms over his chest. "After all they've done to you." Grayson steps up, nodding in agreement. "We were there, Hangman. We were there for you when you were at your lowest. When they betrayed you, cast you out, we were there for you. We put your on our shoulders after you won the AEW Title. And now, look at you...back with them." Adam Page shakes his head, trying to form a response. "Guys, it's not like that, I-" Evil Uno raises a hand to silence him. "Save it, Page. We've heard it all before." The group turns and heads out of the room. Before departing, Reynolds has one last piece of advance for Hangman. "Maybe it's time for you to take a hard look in the mirror, Hangman. See who your real friends are." Page stands there, speechless, as The Dark Order turns their back on him, walking away. The Elite members are silent, offering no comforting words as the scene ends with Page staring after his departing friends, a look of conflict etched on his face. ---

So are large stables a major staple in AEW? I guess that's one way to handle a large roster, but it's the Vince Russo problem where he sticks everyone on TV when not everyone deserves to be on TV. Who was tuning in to see Viscera and Mideon every week?

Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal along with Karen Jarrett and Sonjay Dutt make their way out to the ring. The music of The Acclaimed hits to a big pop, and the Acclaimed flanked by Daddy Ass enter next. As always, Max Caster has a microphone in hand.

Oh, Jesus Christ, Karen Jarrett?!? Also, it's way too easy to poke fun at the name Daddy Ass with just a simple reversal.

"A lot of people wanna know what you're doing on our show, When you haven't been relevant since two-thousand 'fo. Failing upwards is just your way of life, Stealing money like you stole Kurt Angle's wife. And Jay Lethal, a guy who's imitating dudes, 20 years in the business, nobody's imitating you. The Acclaimed are gonna hit you harder, You can take the L and blame it on Dixie Carter."

OK, that's actually a pretty awesome collection of disses.

Jeff Jarrett and Jay Lethal vs. The Acclaimed Pretty decent tag match here which is no real surprise, all 4 guys do have some charisma to them, The Acclaimed are mega over and Jarrett and Lethal are two solid veterans for any young talent to work with. Jarrett joined AEW in a backstage role last fall and he's also a midcard performer, and in all seriousness, he's been fun to watch because he totally understands his assignment, which is to put over a bunch of promising young guys and sell their acts accordingly. His role in my game will be nearly identical as I try to milk what I can out of his solid 80-something overness before the game makes him retire, very possibly soon with a July birthday looming. Anyway, as you'd expect The Acclaimed get the W here with Caster hitting the Mic Drop on Jarrett. The Acclaimed grab some momentum as they gear up for a trios match against House of Black. ***, 78% overall ---

I've always felt bad for Jarrett in some ways because he always seems to be surrounded by people better than him no matter where he goes. He's a good guy and understands the business, but imagine the locker room of the WWE in 1993. You've got him, Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Curt Henning, and Scott Hall. Who are you picking to help lead the charge as an upper-card guy? It's why his run in WCW in 2000 stuck out so hard. You're world champion? OK, if you say so. If this is his role now, I suppose it works but much like what happened with Jericho in the WWE, it starts to not mean anything when you want to put over every Tom, Dick, and Harry, especially if they don't have any real upside. Fucking Fandango and JTG can claim to have beaten Jericho and look where that got them.

Actually I don't know because I haven't kept tabs on that shit.

A video package is shown announcing that NJPW's Minoru Suzuki, one of the most feared legends in the sport, will be coming to Forbidden Door to face Orange Cassidy for the International Championship. The match is billed as more than 3 years in the making, as it was supposed to happen in spring 2020 but was cancelled amid the pandemic. (RENEE PAQUETTE steps into the backstage area, a microphone in her hand. Beside her, leaning against a wall with sunglasses perched on his nose and hands in his pockets, is the AEW International Champion ORANGE CASSIDY.) RENEE: Thanks for joining us today, Orange. After watching that. How are you feeling about your upcoming title defense at Forbidden Door? ORANGE: (Nonchalantly) Title defense? RENEE: (Laughs a little) Yes, your championship match. ORANGE: Oh, okay. RENEE: You didn't watch the video we just showed? ORANGE: (Shrugs) Nah. (RENEE looks a bit taken aback but quickly regains her composure.) RENEE: Well, your opponent is Minoru Suzuki. What are your thoughts on that? ORANGE: (Pauses) Suzuki? RENEE: Yes, Minoru Suzuki. One of the most respected and dangerous veterans in pro wrestling. ORANGE: (Thinks for a moment, then shrugs) Sounds cool. (RENEE stares at him, blinking in disbelief.) RENEE: Just 'cool'? He's a legend, a feared competitor. ORANGE: (Nonchalantly) Yeah, cool I guess. (RENEE laughs, shaking her head.) RENEE: Well, we all look forward to seeing your cool response to this match at Forbidden Door. Good luck, Orange. ORANGE: (Nods, no change in expression) Thanks. (They part ways, RENEE shaking her head in amusement, ORANGE strolling off, hands in his pockets, the very picture of indifference.) ---

Is this how he comes across in real life? People aren't really paying money to see this guy, right? Why would I want to care about someone who doesn't care himself? I can understand indifference when it's a confidence thing where you just believe you're superior. I don't know what this is. The angle should be that Minoru whips his ass so hard that he beats the indifference out of him.

Konosuke Takeshita w/ Don Callis vs. El Hijo del Vikingo This is pretty much just a showcase match for Takeshita, his first match since his heel turn at Double or Nothing. Poor Vikingo is really talented and has a near 100 speed rating, sending him to development doesn't help him. But he's also very much lacking in overness and will need to put on some good performances to get himself over or eventually be hooked up with a face manager. Anyway, Takeshita finishes him off with a Zahi knee for an impressive win. ***, 68% overall ---

Nothing wrong with a squash match here and there. Although it sucks that the game treats every match essentially the same and thus you end up with star ratings like this. If you could set matches to "Squash" or "Competitive" or what not, it'd go a long way.

The backstage area is bustling, echoing with the roar of the crowd beyond. Renee Paquette stands with The Elite - Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, and Nick Jackson. RENEE: Tonight, I have with me The Elite. Gentlemen, we just saw an impressive win from Konosuke Takeshita. There's been quite a lot of action involving Takeshita, Don Callis, and the Blackpool Combat Club recently. Can we get your thoughts? Before they can respond, the shot widens to include the members of the Blackpool Combat Club - Bryan Danielson, Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta, stepping into the frame with determined expressions. DANIELSON: Renee, you needn't waste any time interviewing these amateurs. They've still not learned their lesson, they still don't seem to get enough ass beatings from the Blackpool Combat Club. Omega, you still seem to forget... Wheeler Yuta pinned you at Double or Nothing! And he's going to do it again tonight! Yuta grins, a glint of mischief in his eyes. MOXLEY: And Bryan and I, we could use a little tune-up before Forbidden Door. So, we thought, why not take out the Young Bucks next week? If you two boys are man enough to take on the challenge, we'll see you next week. There's a brief moment of silence, tension hanging thick in the air. And then, chaos ensues as both factions start throwing punches, transforming the interview into a brawl. Crew members scramble to break up the fight, but the members of the Blackpool Combat Club and The Elite are relentless. The camera shakes, capturing the intense altercation. Amidst the confusion, Renee Paquette quickly wraps up the interview. RENEE: Clearly, tensions are running high. We'll have to see how this develops next week. Stay tuned for more AEW Dynamite! ---

Renee, always the shining beacon of professionalism in journalism.

I should take this time to point out how the WWE had her, Bryan, Moxley, and Claudio all under contract at one point and flushed them all down the toilet because reasons.

Dr. Britt Baker vs. Ruby Soho w/ Toni Storm and Saraya Baker is probably the most over woman on the roster and has some decent charisma and character to her, but unfortunately her in-ring work just isn't that great particularly compared to the many women who have joined the roster in the past year or two. Britt and Ruby have tangled before but this one just worked into the "Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling" territory. Toni Storm distracts Aubrey Edwards and Saraya attempts to jump Britt, but Aubrey is too smart for that as she turns anyway to catch Saraya in the act. She does what she feels is the right move by throwing the match out and giving Britt the DQ win. The Outcasts pounce on Britt after the bell, as NJPW Strong Women's Champion Willow Nightengale runs out for the save. **1/2, 71% overall ---

Strong Woman? You don't mean....???

[Lights dim, then an arrogant MJF struts into the ring, microphone in hand, showered with boos from the DC crowd.] MJF: Look at you, Washington DC! Booing the salt of the earth, the AEW World Champion. Just remember, the only reason I'm gracing your miserable presence is because my contract demands it. You should be thanking me! [He smirks, basking in the crowd's disapproval.] MJF: But let's move onto bigger and better things, or should I say, mediocre and overrated? Yeah, that's right, Tetsuya Naito, I'm talking about you. You're about to step into the ring with the best at Forbidden Door. [He grins widely.] MJF: Hope you're ready, Naito. Hope you're ready to get a taste of what a real champion feels like. Because once I'm done with you, you'll be crawling back to NJPW wishing you'd never left. [He pauses, allowing the crowd to voice their displeasure.] MJF: And then there's the debut of AEW Collision this coming Saturday in Chicago, and guess who's decided to make his grand return? [He scoffs.] MJF: CM Punk. A washed-up has-been who thinks he can waltz back into the company he abandoned, on a brand new show, no less. [He shakes his head.] MJF: Punk, I hope you're listening. AEW isn't your company anymore. It's mine. And if you think you can just show up in your city, in my company, and take the spotlight... You've got another thing coming. [He drops the microphone and smirks, arms spread wide, drawing a deafening chorus of boos as his music blares from the speakers.] ---

Is Punk/MJF the direction they're going in real life? I'm sure it's in your books because that's some easy stars right there.

The Jericho Appreciation Society's "Red Death" Daniel Garcia and "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara w/ Jake Hager vs. Adam Cole and Roderick Strong Chris Jericho is on commentary at ringside for this one as he spends the match cheering on his boys and talking trash about Adam Cole. He talks about his desire to add the IWGP Title to his list of accolades at Forbidden Door, and mentions it will be a great night for the JAS as Garcia looks to defend his IWGP Pure Championship against NJPW legend Katsuyori Shibata. The match itself is quite solid, everyone puts their work in until the inevitable fuck finish where Hager tries to intervene and distracts Rick Knox. Cole takes out Guevara and Hager at ringside, only for Jericho to leave the booth and kick Strong in the dick. Dammit Knox, didn't you pay attention to the last match! Daniel Garcia vultures the pin and the win. ***1/4, 78% overall ---

Jericho just saw a giant spider on Strong's crotch and so had to think fast about how to handle it...so to speak.

The audience boos as Jericho laughs and the Jericho Appreciation Society celebrates around him. A visibly frustrated Cole grabs a microphone.] Cole: "You know what, Jericho? I'm sick and tired of this. I'm sick and tired of you constantly sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, and I'm definitely sick and tired of your little Jericho Appreciation Society constantly running interference." [The crowd starts a "Jericho sucks!" chant] Cole: "You want to play games, Jericho? Let's play a game that you can't cheat, a game where your 'Society' can't interfere. Let's settle this once and for all... next week, in a steel cage." [The crowd goes wild at the prospect] Cole: "And let's make it worth our while. Winner gets to face SANADA for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship at Forbidden Door. What do you say, Jericho? Are you man enough to accept?" [The crowd chants "Accept! Accept! Accept!" Jericho grabs a microphone, smirking.] Jericho: "Adam Cole... You want to trap yourself in a steel cage with me, knowing full well what I can do? And you want to put a title shot on the line? You want to get in the way of my destiny to become The Nueve? Well, that's music to my ears junior. I accept, and I'm gonna put you into the ground." [Jericho drops the microphone, the crowd explodes, and both men stare each other down as the tension builds towards next week's steel cage showdown.] ---

That's some hardcore overreacting from Page over Jericho's arachnophobia.

Wheeler Yuta w/ Claudio Castagnoli vs. Kenny Omega This match...actually didn't do as well as I thought it would. I knew Yuta's relative lack of overness would hold things back a bit but I figured it'd be one of those really good matches that automatically raise a guy's overness just from being involved in a banger. Alas, his lack of overness more than cancelled out Kenny's 90-something overness. The match was perfectly decent but not the barnburner expected so no overness change from Yuta. Still, the story very much played a part here. We have more outside the ring shit with The Young Bucks ensuring Claudio Castagnoli doesn't get totally involved as Kenny hits the One Winged Angel to avenge his PPV defeat to Yuta. Omega stares down a pissed off Don Callis who watches the proceedings from the rampway. ***, 75% overall

I think the way it works is that all the participants in the match have to have really good stats, more or less on even ground in terms of overness, with the Superstar Look stat sometimes being a factor. Also if one guy is just way much higher in overness than the other, they'll actually lose morale for working with them.

I also had not one but two rehab notices. Jose the Assistant and Jeff Jarrett both checked themselves into rehab. So much for using him to put people over before he retires.

Jarrett surprises me because I've never heard of him having any sort of issues in that arena. He's always been a "good ol' boy", God-fearing, and straight-laced. One of the benefits of keeping your talent in the training camp is that their behavior will improve, lessening the chances of them winding up like Tammy Sytch. Chet Morris was the last dude on my watch to do that to me. If he comes back in time for when he's due for retirement, you've got a ready made storyline right there.