[M-A-G]

Survivor Series: November 25, 2040

Pre-Show Match: The Lonely Girls, The Perfections, and Phoebe Hanson vs. The Southern Belles, C4, and Dusk

First Elimination: Faith, of course, just has to do a dive to the outside onto a sea of bodies at the beginning. Faith's willingness to kill herself ON THE PRE-SHOW says a lot about her. The first elimination honors are going to have to go to poor Cordelia Capriati as her partner Carmella Costello whiffs on an attempted crossbody on Jenna Kyle. Faith runs interference and tosses Carmella and Cordelia falls victim to Jenna's Kyle Driver and the pin is academic.

Second Elimination: Dusk and Phoebe end up the legal women for this one. Phoebe gets enough of a flurry that Dusk needs to retreat to the corner but as Phoebe moves in for the kill, Dusk yanks her forward and Phoebe's face hits the middle turnbuckle. That leads to the Final Sunset and Phobe is out of here.

Third Elimination: Dusk continues her rampage as Faith ends up legal on the face team. Faith gives no fucks about her body as, damn it, she's going to get Dusk over or die trying. The two of them end up outside and they brawl around. Dusk looks like she's reeling from a kick to the face from Faith but she comes back with a chair to Faith's face. That's going to be a DQ and Dusk has to say good night.

Fourth Elimination: Faith isn't getting back in the ring anytime soon and that's a countout to end her night.

Fifth Elimination: Bonnie gets the call and she's legal against Carmella. Brooke tries running interference but Paul Andrews moves in to put a stop to that. Brooke "accidentally" leaves behind a chain as she retreats from Paul. Carmella puts it to good use and KOs Bonnie and that's enough to send her packing.

Sixth Elimination: It's Leah and Jenna alone for the faces and CAN THEY GET ALONG?!?!?!? Leah is in for what's left of the team and she wants revenge against Carmella. The ref is busy with Andrews and Brooke's shenanigans so Leah steals the chain from Carmella returns the favor by knocking her ass out. Nathan Quinn steps in and pulls Brooke away to break things up and the ref sees the pin and thus counts Carmella out and Brooke is furious.

Seventh Elimination: So it's the Wacky Tag Team Partners Who Don't Get Along against the Women's Tag Champions. Quinn and Andrews are the only managers remaining after Brooke goes off to pout. Jenna wants to rag on Leah for using the chain but Leah fires back because she wants to win. Bobbi Jo takes advantage by attacking Leah from behind. Jenna makes a blind tag unbeknownst to either of the other two women. Bobbi has Leah down and she preps herself for some more damage but Jenna rolls her up from behind for the pin, leaving Hannah alone.

Eighth Elimination: Leah and Jenna get into it verbally as each are upset with the actions of the other. Hannah tries a surprise attack but the faces knock her down. Leah gets ordered back onto the apron as Jenna continues the match. However, Leah tags herself back in once Jenna gets in range and she assaults Hannah. Jenna does the same and deals out some harsher abuse. They trade off back and forth, trying to one up the other at the expense of poor Hannah. Ultimately, Jenna decides to just shove Hannah into Leah and then hit the Kyle Driver for the pin.

Survivors: Leah and Jenna Kyle, ****1/2, 81% overall.

Fuck the DUD show.

SURVIVOR SERIES STARTS NOW!!! The official theme song for the show is "Hunting Grounds" by In This Moment.



Opening Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Martyn LaSalle
This is the culmination of a lot of tension after what happened in the fatal four-way for the Cruiserweight Title last month. It's a solid opener, despite the DUD show's greedy little hunger. The end comes as we have a virtual repeat from happened between the two the last time. Ozzy hits a top rope superplex but LaSalle shifts himself over Ozzy in a roll-up upon impact, but makes sure that his own shoulders are off the mat, and that's enough to give LaSalle the pin. Afterwards, Ozzy reluctantly applauds LaSalle and takes his leave. ****1/2, 80% overall.

Second Match: The Morris Cousins, Jordan Demiras, Clubber Harris, and Gavin Jones vs. The Hero to Millions Around the World, the Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Mister Twenty-Forty, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, Galino & Farnes, and Jason Sorola

First Elimination: Chet Morris gets himself thrown out by deciding to start out by chasing the heel team with a chair like a lunatic and not listening to the ref. A bit too much rage on his behalf. Understandable, but that kind of screws his team over.

Second/Third Elimination: The match continues as best as it can under the circumstances. It comes down to Harris and Zed and they're too involved in beating the fuck out of each other and they brawl to the outside and into the crowd leading to a double countout. Security tries to break things up as they fight through the audience to the back.

Fourth Elimination: It's still an advantage for the heels as Jordan and Jason go at it next. It's some more good shit as you'd expect. Gavin eventually gets the tag so Jason decides to tag in Farnes and keep himself safe. Ultimately we have to say bye to Farnes as a botched double team attempt from Galino opens things up for Gavin to hit a victory roll to pin Farnes.

Fifth Elimination: Farnes is upset and he gets Galino to help him hit SERIOUS INQUIRIES! on Gavin. Jason Sorola sneaks in for the pin to send Gavin packing.

Sixth Elimination: Lyle is in now and tries to get him some of Sorola. Galino makes a blind tag and becomes legal. He knocks down Lyle from behind while the ref tries to get Sorola out. Hotbody calls an audible and tries tossing in the GAVEL OF DOOM to Galino. Lyle intercepts, however, and nails Galino with it and knocks Hotbody off the apron with it. He goes for the pin and that's enough to send Galino to the back.

Seventh Elimination: Things go into a regular tag format here as it's 2-on-2. It comes down to Demiras and Hotbody and Zed Jones comes back to ringside, no doubt to peacefully request that he be reinserted into the match. He tries pleading his case with the ref and Luscious takes advantage by sneaking in and low blowing Demiras. Zed decides the ref has heard enough of his proposal and allows him to do his job by counting Demiras out after Hotbody hits the Hot Ticket.

Eighth Elimination: Hotbody tags Jason back in as he doesn't want to deal with Lyle. Lyle and Jason go at it and eventually end up outside. The ref tries to keep Hotbody from getting involved as the count is on. Zed looks to take advantage by trying to kick Lyle's head off with a big boot but Lyle ducks and Sorola takes the hit. Lyle rolls back in and the ref ends up counting Sorola out.

Final Elimination: Despite it being one-on-one, Lyle still has to contend with Zed and Luscious. The match goes on with Hotbody taking an ass whipping. Clubber Harris eventually comes out to continue his beef with Zed and we've got more chaos. Chet Morris eventually decides enough is enough and comes out to do more of his chair shenanigans. Everyone's running all over the outside and this confusion allows Hotbody to find the GAVEL OF DOOM and KO Lyle with it to get the final pin.

Sole Survivor: Michael Hotbody, ****1/2, 82% overall.

Third Match: WWE Women's Title
Naomi Bailey (c) vs. Sonya Braddock
I love how this match says "Fuck you" to the DUD show. Both women are AWESOME here as it's just another brutal affair between the two of them. Things don't seem to be lining up for Naomi tonight, though. The end comes when Sonya locks in the Calf Crusher. Naomi fights for her life as she scrambles for the ropes, her arms waving wildly. It's just too much to take, however, and she eventually taps to give the title back to Braddock. *****, 86% overall.

NEW CHAMPION: Sonya Braddock

Fourth Match: Adam Hail, Lonny Richards, Ziggy Styles, Salvatore Scabbia, and Ronnie Costello vs. Simon Bennett, Mathias, Michael Haywood, and The Academy

First Elimination: After a good start with some awesome exchanges between everyone, we're going to have to say adios to Ziggy as Haywood's rage cannot be contained and he squeezes the shit out of him with the Rage Quit and Ziggy taps.

Second Elimination: Did I mention that Haywood's rage cannot be contained? He keeps the hold on way past the point of what is considered acceptable parameters and the ref has no choice but to DQ him.

Third Elimination: We get officials out here to separate Haywood from Ziggy's limp body. The match continues nonetheless. More back and forth goodness is forthcoming. Bennett ultimately ends Lonny's night by getting him to submit to the Bennett Lock.

Fourth Elimination: We march on and the match turns to the rivalry between Brooke's former clients, the Academy and her current boys, Scabbia and Costello. It's a good back and forth and eventually Ronnie is isolated enough to where the Academy can double team him by Mitchell launching Ronnie into Ellis for Today's Lesson, and that's enough to pin and eliminate Ronnie from the equation.

Fifth Elimination: Scabbia goes scorched earth and clotheslines the shit out of the Academy. He manhandles the two while the ref tries to get the non-legal man out. Scabbia locks in the Omerta on Ellis to send him out of the match.

Sixth Elimination: Mitchell gets isolated as the heels do the double team thing. He tries fighting back but Quinn pays dividends by tripping Mitchell up and that sets him up for a Hailstorm off the top from Adam. So long Justin Mitchell.

Seventh Elimination: Mathias in now as the legal man for the faces. Brooke and Quinn work their magic to make sure the ref can't deal with the double team from the heels. Scabbia ends up finishing off Mathias with the Omerta and we're down to one man for the faces.

Eighth Elimination: By now Andrews says fuck it and decides to take the fight to Quinn as Bennett is alone with the heels. They take their leave as they fight up the ramp. Brooke hops up on the apron for moral support but Bennett sends Hail into her with a drop kick. Scabbia comes from behind with the Omerta but Bennett refuses to tap. He escapes by ramming Scabbia back into the corner. Hail blind tags himself back in and floors Bennett with a bulldog and that leads to him capitalizing with a Hailstorm off the top to get the win for his team.

Survivors: Adam Hail and Salvatore Scabbia, ****1/2, 81% overall.

Fifth Match: Brandon Reigns vs. Eddy Clash
Reigns attacks from behind after coming through the crowd. He grabs the briefcase and gives it to security, telling them to take it to his dressing room. Eddy recovers and drags Reigns back in to continue the match. It's actually more of a fight than anything else. Eddy accidentally trucks the ref after Reigns avoids a charge. Reigns still isn't safe as Eddy still looks to deliver some more punishment. WAIT A MINUTE!!! SOMEONE IS IN THE RING!!! It's Hugo?!?!? WTF? We haven't seen him in a while. He clobbers Eddy Clash and just manhandles him. Hugo takes his leave when he feels like he's done enough damage. The ref comes to and sees Reigns hit the Reignfire on Eddy and that's going to give him the pin. WTF is the deal with Hugo returning now??? ****1/2, 82% overall.

Sixth Match: WWE Intercontinental Title
Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Quinten McDaniels
We've had one title change hands tonight. Is in the cards for it to happen a second time? They deliver another quality outing, all things considered. It would be a bit mean to end things for Seth here and now, but that's not in the cards. Seth reverses the Great Depression and connects with the Collapse of Society to score the pin and successfully retain the title. ****1/2, 82% overall.

Seventh Match: Kyle Jacobs, Ryan Pattillo, Alexander Piero, and the Wyldhearts vs. Xavier Cross, Orlando Kincaid, Chris Collins, and The Royal Effect

First/Second/Third/Fourth Elimination: This match has a much longer start before any eliminations than the other 5-on-5 matches we've had tonight. Of course, things just can't go that smoothly and organized before TENSIONS RISE!!! The Royal Effect keep Robbie Greer isolated and doubled team very effectively until Robbie gets the hot tag to Blaine Bellamey. It's BONZO GONZO as Blaine cleans house. McKay is alone and Blaine tags Robbie back in so they can try the Heartstopper. Kavovit runs in to save his partner however and the four men just go apeshit on each other, ignoring the ref. He finally decides to throw all four men out and calls for officials to get them out of here. They don't go quitely as they continue fighting as they make their exit.

Fifth Elimination: Down to 3-on-3. It proceeds like a regular match until it's down to Pattillo and Kincaid. Pattillo reverses an Irish whip attempt and hits a surprise Shutdown on Kincaid and gets the pin to send him packing.

Sixth Elimination: Collins tries his hand next. He actually manages an upper hand moment and makes Pattillo play face in peril for a bit as he trades on and off with Cross. Pattillo makes the eventual comeback and hot tags Piero! A hot exchange ends with Piero drop toe holding Collins making him land across the middle rope. Madison gets a bit of payback by slapping the taste out of Collins's mouth while the ref is busy with Cross. Piero nails the Flashpoint to eliminate Collins.

Seventh Elimination: Well, Xavier Cross is fucked to say the least. He tries running away but Madison gets in his way. Cross yells some threats and looks to move her out of the way but Piero grabs him from behind and tosses him back into the ring. The three faces all take turns with their abuse. Piero hits the Flashpoint and tags in Pattillo who nails the Shutdown and finally, Jacobs gets the tag and he finishes poor Xavier with the Legacy Bomb. That will obviously be enough to put Cross down for the count and the faces get the win.

Survivors: Kyle Jacobs, Ryan Pattillo, and Alexander Piero, ****1/2, 83% overall.

MAIN EVENT: WWE Unified World Title
Wrakk (c) vs. Haven
This is No Holds Barred. It's more monster on monster brutality as you'd expect from these two. We even get some color from the two, which really stands out against the white of Haven. Wrakk looks like he's on the ropes as the match comes to conclusion. Haven looks ready to strike BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!! What is up with tonight? The lights return and WTF IS THIS??? Someone is standing in the ring in front of Haven. Haven looks surprised at this man who is as big as he is, and just as scary. Wrakk takes advantage of this staredown and clobbers Haven from behind with a chair. He continues the assault on the fallen Haven as the mystery man just looks on. Wrakk gets bored from all of the chair shots and decides to just end things with the Demon Cross, and that's enough for him to retain the title. Someone needs to explain what the hell is going on!!! *****, 84% overall.

Overall show rating: 83%

Seriously, fuck the DUD show.