[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: November 16, 2040

Opening Match: Lyle Morris vs. Jimmy Farnes
Not wasting any time here. Well, Galino & Farnes want to waste some time running their mouths, first. They talk about how they're not sure why Lyle Morris is even wasting Michael Hotbody's time with this ridiculous challenge for the Cruiserweight Title. Of all of the surefire epic feud of the year contenders that Michael Hotbody has entangled himself in, Lyle seems like the odd man out. Besides, with no Chet Morris, technically Lyle doesn't even qualify for a shot based on the criteria Hotbody laid out. The law offices of Galino & Farnes will be seeking a CEASE AND DESIST ORDER against Lyle Morris and that's only the cherry on top of what's going to go down here tonight right now!

So this is a typical big man vs. little man match. Lyle manages to get the upper hand as we start to head home. Lyle stands perched on the middle rope, ready to strike at a dazed Farnes, but Galino pushes Lyle off. The ref calls for the DQ but it's a mere formality as Galino & Farnes start the 2-on-1 beatdown. HOLD THE PHONE!!! IT'S CHET MORRIS RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP AND INTO THE RING!!! He's got a steel chair with him and Luscious alerts Galino & Farnes to this turn of events and they take the hint and run out of the ring, avoiding any physicality with Chet. Chet checks on his cousin and pulls him up. Lyle takes the mic and says that he promised that he'd name his fifth team member for Survivor Series tonight. Well, we're looking at him. The Morris Cousins are back so Galino & Farnes can go tell Hotbody to get that Cruiserweight belt shined up, nice and pretty. ****1/2, 91% overall

Second Match: The Internet Darlings vs. C4
This was set up last night on Superstars between Sophie Waters and Brooke. Brooke wants to make it clear that while she is looking to show anyone who's ever been ungrateful to her what happens when she's crossed, her team Ronnie Costello and Salvatore Scabbia are not here tonight, so Randy Ellis and Justin Mitchell can breathe a bit easier. They'll feel the full wrath, however, come Survivor Series. Right now is all about letting everyone else know that they're not safe either. Brooke is the woman that runs the show and she runs it because she doesn't tolerate weakness in her camp, male or female!

As much as I want to do more with the faces, right now it's all about Brooke's team so this match is all theirs. Brooke puts Carmella's foot on the rope to break up a near fall. Sophie sees this and goes to confront her. Brooke, in a panic, pulls a dazed Cordelia in front of her to block Sophie. Cordelia isn't sure what's going on but Lauren Franklyn assumes Sophie is in trouble and delivers a baseball slide to Cordelia, knocking her down. Carmella takes advantage of the chaos by rolling up Lauren and grabbing the tights to score the cheap pin. ****1/2, 88% overall

Third Match: Chris Collins vs. Blaine Bellamey
Chris Collins declares that he's getting tired of facing all of these weaksauce simps who can't handle a woman getting the slightest bit hurt. Where are all the REAL men at? He can't even remember the last time he got to challenge for a title and that's probably the biggest insult in all of this. He wants to fight for gold, not for a woman. And that right there is what separates him from a wimp like Alexander Piero. So let the match at Survivor Series come down to him and all three of Madison's little petting zoo. Chris Collins is so much of a man that all three of them combined can't even add up to an alpha like himself!

This is another big man vs. little man affair. It comes to a head when Moses McKay makes his way down to ringside and stalks Madison. Naturally, Blaine is a bit peeved and reaches over the top rope and grabs McKay by the hair. This allows Chris Collins to pop up and snatch Blaine into the Fall From Heaven and get the pin. Alexander Piero runs down afterward to fuck shit up royally for the heels but they decide to bail. ****1/2, 93% overall

Fourth Match: Jason Sorola vs. Gavin Jones
I mean, why not do this match? Gavin is distraught over how things have turned out regarding the Hunters and Jason Sorola but if it means he's got a shot at once again wearing that Cruiserweight Title, it's something he'll just have to live with, especially if Sorola wants to continue being a bloody jackass about everything. Gavin may not have the Hunters behind him, but he is going to have a team at Survivor Series, and they're going to be looking for a clean sweep. This match is looking like it's going to be match of the night. The blow off between these two is probably going to be fire. Not Match of the Year, mind you, but it's tracking to be a highlight. Of course that means that nothing can be settled here just yet, as Michael Hotbody decides to make himself known. Clearly he's just here to show everyone how shiny he made his Cruiserweight Title belt, like Lyle Morris asked for earlier. It's so shiny that Gavin can see his own reflection in it and Hotbody even offers Gavin that chance. It's quite a close look and for some reason the ref calls for the bell, disqualifying Sorola. Hotbody tries slapping Gavin awake in order to get him back on his feet so he can see the shiny Cruiserweight title some more. Jordan Demiras comes running down, no doubt looking to ask Hotbody how he got the belt so shiny, seeing as he was never capable of such an accomplishment. Hotbody, wisely, isn't going to share such a trade secret with just anybody and decides to split and Sorola accompanies him out of the ring. *****, 96% overall

Fifth Match: The Academy vs. Southern Gentlemen
Man, am I spoiling the audience with this parade of matches or what? Justin and Randy aren't fazed and have no regrets about their decision to split from Brooke. Brooke demonstrating earlier just how little she actually cares about people not constantly jumping at every little snap of her fingers. They give a warning to the rest of the pack still under Brooke's watch that it's only a matter of time before Brooke finds little use for them when things don't go her way. The Academy aren't going to be the scapegoats for Scabbia's failures and too bad for anyone over on Brooke's side who doesn't like that. Things go a bit better for Sophie Waters here, as her new clients have quite the handle on this match. Brody Lee falls victim to Today's Lesson from Randy Ellis and that gives the Academy the pinfall victory. BUT WAIT!!! SALVATORE SCABBIA IS HERE! What about what Brooke said earlier. Scabbia does what he does best, and that is just wrecking shit. Both Mitchell and Ellis get absolutely annihilated by Scabbia's rampage until Scabbia decides to put them both out with the Omerta. Scabbia has made quite the case for himself being a key part of his Survivor Series team. *****, 94% overall

Backstage we go to the Lonely Girls, Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle! Five matches in a row is a bit excessive, even for me. Anyways, Jenna wants to know what Lisa Benton has been smoking because the Lonely Girls can't see anything positive coming out of them having to team up with Leah and Bonnie Beckham at Survivor Series. Jenna says that she can still feel the spot on her face where Leah smashed a camera. And speaking frankly, Jenna still gets a feeling of giddyness every time she thinks about the time she got to repeatedly introduce Leah's face to the mat that one time. Things may never be copacetic between the two teams. They've still got their eyes on those tag team titles. Faith and Jenna will do their best to behave themselves at Survivor Series, but once that's over, all bets are off.

Sixth Match: Leah vs. Bobbi Jo
Speaking of the devils, we've got this match to tackle. It is, of course, awesome as hell. They brawl to the outside and the count commences. Leah tries climbing back into the ring but Bobbi grabs her legs to try to stop that. They struggle for a bit until Leah shoves Bobbi off, sending her into and over the announce table. Leah makes it back in while the count continues on Bobbi. Bobbi starts making her way back to the ring as the count reaches 8 but she's apparantly had enough for the night and decides to grab her belt and walk away, giving Leah the countout win. Leah is not satisfied and tries to get her hands on Bobbi but Bobbi responds by plastering Leah's face with her title belt. The drama continues. ****1/2, 91% overall

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with Orlando Kincaid! He thinks it's been a long time coming that he and Ryan Pattillo have a heart-to-heart about their issue. Ryan shouldn't be such a baby about what Orlando has been doing. You'd think Ryan would have some degree of empathy. You see, much like Ryan Pattillo, Orlando is also the former member of a great faction. Now Orlando's faction was without question far superior as the Order was about dominance and ferocity. Ryan's little pack of embarrassments was about acting like idiots. That image and the desire to keep that image up and running for the sake of the morons in the crowd is to blame for Ryan not being part of that upper echelon scene. Orlando, however, has legitimate gripes with other people. People who know how dangerous he can be to that status quo. That barrier is going to get broken by Orlando Kincaid, one way or another, and poor Ryan Pattillo is going to left laying among the pieces. There's only so much room at the top and Ryan Pattillo just isn't vicious enough to stop Orlando from getting there. Ryan Pattillo had his time in the sun and whether he likes it or not, after Survivor Series he's going to end up even worse off than where he is now and he'll have plenty of time to reflect on what went wrong. The sad thing is that it's not even that big of a mystery. Ryan squandered all of his potential being a damn jester and Orlando would be willing to wager that the real reason Michael Haywood and Gavin Jones decided to break ties with him is that even those two were getting beyond embarrassed about what a loser and failure as a leader Ryan Pattillo has become!

Things have finally reached the boiling point for Ryan Pattillo and he decides to make himself known and runs down to the ring to get a piece of Kincaid. Unfortunately there's some kind of theme going on here with the heels tonight as he doesn't want any of Pattillo's rage and decides to vamoose through the crowd.

Seventh Match: Ziggy Styles vs. Martyn LaSalle
Ziggy tells that audience that he hopes everyone will tune into his first Survivor Series where he will lead his team to a dominant victory. He also hopes that they spend Thanksgiving giving thanks that Ziggy Styles graces their screen, week in and week out, bringing the best thing going on in the WWE today. He blesses everyone's Thanksgiving meal and declares that everyone is going to be getting Ziggy with it that day! This match is more goodness as the rating clearly shows. LaSalle looks like he's about to lock in the Martynizer for the submission but Ozzy Mandias makes himself known by coming out onto the stage with a mic looking like he's in a hurry with something important to say. "Martyn, Martyn, Martyn...I'm so glad I caught you. I thought I wasn't going to be able to get a hold of you tonight. This was super-duper important!" LaSalle takes his eye off the ball due to this distraction as he yells back at Ozzy. Styles takes advantage of the interruption by hitting the Thinga-Ma-Zig and getting the pin. However, during all of this, Ozzy continues his speech, claiming that it was important for him to be out here because he wanted to be sure Martyn and all of the people here heard Ozzy's announcement loud and clear. Ozzy declares that he is, in fact, accepting Martyn LaSalle's challenge to a match...and even better, it will be at Survivor Series! Isn't that great Martyn? LaSalle of course can't respond as he's in a daze after the loss. Ozzy tells him not too worry about getting back to him immediately. LaSalle can take his time. And with that, Ozzy takes his leave. ****1/2, 93% overall

More In-Ring Super Special Talky Time, this time with a very pissed off Brandon Reigns. "Are we seriously doing this again?" he starts. "Am I seriously going to have to deal with Eddy Clash taking my damn briefcase AGAIN? Eddy, it wasn't funny the first time around and it sure as hell isn't funny now. You are down right pathetic. You have nothing but nip at the heels of people better than you, hoping to get even the slightest bit of attention. Well, mission accomplished, because you are priority number one in my book. I'm not simply asking for you to come out here and hand over my briefcase. No, no, before things could've been forgiven because you were a mere simpleton who just didn't know any better. Well now, you're clearly just trying to piss me off and asking for the beating of a lifetime, so come on out here and take your ass kicking like a man! I'll make it quick but memorable enough for you to ever think twice about ever believing you were worth my time. GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!"

Time goes by with no response but eventually Eddy pops up on the tron. Eddy says that he's absolutely willing to go through whatever Reigns has in mind and he is absolutely willing to hand over the Money in the Bank briefcase. The problem is that Eddy just finished sending the briefcase to a hotel room in Miami. The same hotel room where Eddy will be staying Survivor Series weekend. The same hotel room that's in the same city as this year's Survivor Series! What a coincidence. It seems that the best way for Brandon Reigns to get everything he wants is to show up to Survivor Series and face Eddy Clash in that match that he proposed a while back. Everyone walks away happy! That is if Brandon Reigns wants it that badly. "See you in Miami, Brandon!" And with that, the tron goes black and Reigns throws a tantrum by smashing things on the outside of the ring.

MAIN EVENT: Wrakk, Quinten McDaniels, and Xavier Cross vs. Haven, Seth Von Kamp, and Kyle Jacobs
Quite the packed main event here. There's still debris around the ring after Brandon's tantrum. In fact, Reigns is still there as the faces start coming out for the match. He yells at Seth and Kyle while puffing out his chest but Haven's entrance finally makes him change his mind about sticking around. This all kicks ass on so many levels. It's a "Katy, bar the door!" scenario as things break down and it comes down to McDaniels and Seth. The ref is busy getting things under control with Kyle and Cross and McDaniels takes advantage by KOing Seth with the Intercontinental Title and that's enough to get McDaniels to get the cheap pin. Quinten stands tall holding up the belt as we go off the air. ****1/2, 93% overall

Overall rating: 91%