No Mercy 2040: October 28, 2040
Pre-Show: Gavin Jones and The Love Connection vs. Jason Sorola and The Future Foundation
Keeping the Jones/Sorola thing going, sort of. As usual the pre-show match is all about getting people in the mood and we've got some good shit here. Vivian Merrick once again tries to make a nuisance of herself by trying to interfere but Aphrodite cuts that off. The ref is busy with their little spat and that allows Sorola to low blow Coleman and slap on an STF. The ref turns in time to see Coleman tapping out. Sorola retreats up the aisle, taunting Gavin Jones as he departs. ****1/2, 83% overall.
I think we've got a DUD show.
NO MERCY BEGINS NOW!!!
Your theme song tonight is "Hate Me" by Ded!
Opening Match: WWE Intercontinental Championship - Seth Von Kamp (c) vs. Quinten McDaniels vs. Ryan Pattillo
Let's kick this show off proper with a bang, huh? Seth has just been bringing the goods ever since his elevation to championship status. No need to cut that off just yet, right? Pattillo looks to hit SVK with the Shutdown but hits Quinten McDaniels as he's setting it up, sending McDaniels to the outside. Pattillo loses his grip and balance and that's enough to allow Seth the chance to escape and hit the Collapse of Society on Pattillo for the pin and he retains the title. ****1/2, 83% overall.
Yup...DUD show.
Second Match: Zed Jones vs. Eddy Clash
HOSSES, BAH GAWD! Hmmm, one-on-one these guys don't seem to click all that well. Meh. It's a one-off anyways. Luscious is out here decked out in a Harley Quinn get up in honor of the Halloween spirit. After a hard-hitting affair, Luscious tries her hand at distracting the ref as Eddy looks like he's got things well in hand BUT HERE COMES BRANDON REIGNS!!! WTF?!?!? Reigns has been gone ever since the Last Man Standing match against Seth Von Kamp! HE NAILS EDDY CLASH IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE MONEY IN THE BANK BRIEFCASE!!! He slides out of the ring just as Luscious stops her distracting ways and the ref looks back into the ring to see Zed crawling over Eddy's body and counts the 1-2-3. Reigns just screwed Eddy hard! Luscious takes Zed to the back in joyous celebration. REIGNS ISN'T DONE!!! He proceeds to pound the shit out of Eddy, busting him open. He sets up Eddy on his knees and hits a whopper of a shot with the briefcase to Eddy's forehead. Reigns has made quite the statement. ****, 76% overall.
Third Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Championship - The Lonely Girls (c) vs. The Southern Belles vs. The Perfections
One woman from each team is allowed in the ring at the same time for this one. It's chaotic to say the least but fucking sweet. It comes down to Jenna, Bobbi Jo, and Leah as the other three duke it out as things break down. Jenna hits the Kyle Driver on Leah and looks to walk away with the victory but Nathan Quinn pulls her out of the ring, off of Leah, seemingly saving things for his team but all that does is allow Bobbi Jo the opportunity to take the pin for herself. The Southern Belles are the NEW Women's Tag Team Champions!!! Both the Perfections and the Lonely Girls look on in disgust and disbelief as the new champs take their leave. ****1/2, 81% overall.
Fourth Match: Wrakk vs. Haven
More hosses! Thankfully this goes much better, probably because they've got good charisma and their stats are more in line with each other. Wrakk removes a turnbuckle pad and looks to pick up Haven, no doubt looking to use the exposed turnbuckle for nefarious purposes but Haven is playing possum and he shoves Wrakk off, sending him into the steel and Haven capitalizes with a small package for the pin. Not really a decisive victory here but Haven looks glad nonetheless. *****, 85% overall.
Fifth Match: WWE Cruiserweight Championship - The Host With THE Highest Rated Interview Show In All of Entertainment, The New Age Intellectual Savior to the Masses, The 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody (c) vs. Ozzy Mandias vs. Jordan Demiras vs. Martyn LaSalle
This is elimination rules. Hotbody walks in with Luscious in hand, looking confident as hell. He pats Jordan Demiras on the back and it looks like the alliance the two cooked up on SmackDown! is legit! LaSalle and Ozzy look at Jordan and Hotbody with what appears to be disgust. It looks like Hotbody has managed to find a way to increase his chances of walking out of here with the belt after all...UNTIL JORDAN TAKES HIS HEAD OFF WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!! Jordan looks to Ozzy and LaSalle and their expressions all change to a grin. THEY ALL BUMP FISTS!!! Was this the plan all along?!?!? Hotbody looks royally fucked as he slowly recovers and looks up to his three opponents surrounding him. He begs for mercy BUT THEY ALL START BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF HIM!!! It's just a glorious orgy of violence as all three challengers take turns getting their licks in. Luscious can only look on in horror as she freaks out! After about seven solid minutes of Hotbody trying to bail but continuing to get fucked over, eventually it's too much and Hotbody is down and out, at the mercy of his opponents. The faces talk amongst themselves about how to proceed and eventually agree to "Rock, Paper, Scissors". LaSalle ends up the winner of that exchange AND HE LOCKS IN THE MARTYNIZER! Ozzy and Demiras merely kick back in a corner and watch, not bothering to interfere! Hotbody looks like he's going to tap! His reign is coming to an e...HERE COMES ZED AND GALINO & FARNES!!! Zed breaks up the submission hold while Galino & Farnes take on Jordan and Ozzy. It's No DQ so there's nothing the referee can do about it other than call for help to get things under control! The three-on-three brawl continues all over the ring and outside as Hotbody tries his damndest to get his bearings straight. He rolls to the outside to recuperate as things continue to spiral out of control with the others. Officials finally come down and start breaking things up. Jordan has Farnes set up for an Axe Kick but Hotbody comes out of nowhere and Jordan gets GAVEL OF DOOMED off the top rope. Officials start getting Hotbody's crew out of here as Hotbody goes in for the pin. The ref turns and counts the pin on Jordan! Jordan is eliminated!!!
Hotbody breathes a sigh of relief but that's short-lived as he's still at a disadvantage. Ozzy and LaSalle regroup and look to continue their slaughter of the champion. Hotbody decides running is the best strategy. You know, to get his cardio in and to get the blood pumping. He chased around the ring but is ultimately caught as he tries climbing back in. Ozzy and LaSalle yank him off the apron and he goes flying through the announce table!!! HOLY SHIT! He looks fucked beyond repair. Luscious tries to get involved and whacks Ozzy with the GAVEL OF DOOM from behind. LaSalle sees this and goes after Luscious, who rightfully freaks out and gets away, allowing LaSalle to snatch the GAVEL OF DOOM from her. Ozzy recovers and turns to see LaSalle holding the object and gets the wrong idea. He immediately starts a fight with LaSalle and the two of them go on to have a proper match with Hotbody still knocked out amongst the debris. The medical team eventually comes down to try to help with Hotbody as Ozzy and LaSalle continue their affair in the ring. Hotbody looks like he's going to be stretchered out. LaSalle sets up Ozzy for a Superplex off the top but Ozzy shifts his weight as they come off and they both end up landing pretty badly. They get entangled as both men's shoulders are down and the ref counts them both out! They've eliminated each other! Hotbody is the last man remaining! Hotbody just retained his title while knocked out on his ass!!! Luscious immediately grabs the belt and puts it over Hotbody as he's put on the stretcher and carried out. What a turn of events here tonight! ****1/2, 83% overall.
Sixth Match: WWE Women's Championship - Naomi Bailey (c) vs. Eclypse
They waste no time getting into the physicality as this has been brewing for a long time. Eclypse is the veteran, though, and she ultimately uses that to her advantage. Eclypse is in the zone, not letting up, and Naomi gets desperate, going to the outside to escape Eclypse's wrath. She tries using the championship belt but Eclypse will not be denied and she grabs it away and in a fury uses it on Naomi, causing the DQ. Eclypse is nowhere near done and keeps on the offensive. Naomi is eventually able to shove Eclypse over the barricade and she uses the opportunity to bail. Eclypse got her licks in but Naomi is going to take a DQ win tonight. This looks nowhere near over. *****, 85% overall.
Seventh Match: WWE Unified Tag Team Championship - The Collective (c) vs. The Royal Effect
The Royal Effect ambush Simon Bennett as he and Hail are talking things over in the corner. This causes Hail to get knocked off and thus Bennett is cut off from his partner for the duration of the match. Andrews is all "WTF" as he has to watch The Royal Effect dismantle Bennett off of that bullshit move. Bennett takes a pounding, made worse by Adam Hail ruining things by ignoring the ref, forcing the ref to turn a blind eye to all of the heel shenanigans. Bennett FINALLY gets an opening, sending McKay into Kavovit, knocking Kavovit off the apron. Bennett crawls his way to his partner and goes for the tag...and Adam Hail knocks him down with a right hand. WTF IS GOING ON?!? Andrews looks on in shock as he can't believe what he's seeing. Hail drops down from the apron and glares at Andrews. Kavovit sneaks up from behind Andrews and nails him, sending him into the steps. Bennett is still loopy and he walks into the Mass Effect from McKay. That's enough for the pin and we have NEW Unified Tag Team Champions! The Royal Effect bail in celebration and Hail climbs back into the ring and stands over Bennett. He climbs to the top and nails a Hailstorm on his fallen former partner. What another turn of events! *****, 87% overall.
MAIN EVENT: For the vacant WWE Unified World Championship - Noah Carmichael vs. Salvatore Scabbia
This shit is lit to say the least. Carmichael is still looking pretty rough but he could give a damn. The ref eventually gets bumped pretty badly as Carmichael accidentally clotheslines him to the outside while trying to nail Scabbia. The match continues and we get a new ref as we have people checking on the first ref. More close calls for both men continue until eventually Scabbia reverses the Quick Draw into the Omerta! Carmichael fights for his life. He finally tries the Survivor Series '96 trick by kicking off of the turnbuckle and he ends up on top of Scabbia! The ref drops into the count! 1...2...3!!! CARMICHAEL WINS IT!!! The ref looks to award the belts to Carmichael but the first ref comes to put a stop to it. He tells the time keeper and the announcer that Carmichael tapped and he called for the bell after seeing it. We go to the replay and indeed Carmichael is seen tapping as he has the pin on Scabbia. Both officials are in disagreement. They eventually agree to call it a draw and that just infuriates Scabbia who decides to beat up both referees and proceeds to absolutely destroy what's left of Carmichael. Scabbia blasts the crap out of Carmichael with a chair and when he's bored of that he decides to drag Carmichael up the ramp to the stage AND SENDS HIM THROUGH THE BIG SCREEN! It's still not enough and he decides to recreate SummerSlam by knocking some of the set on top of Carmichael. Well that sucks...and we still don't have a champion!!! ****1/2, 81% overall.
Overall show rating: 83%