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Superstars: September 13, 2040
Lisa Benton starts things off for us here tonight. She reminds us of the major events that are going to unfold. First and foremost, we'll all see whether or not 'Big Thunder' Eddy Clash has what it takes to join the ranks of the top talent here in the WWE. He gets his opportunity against Ziggy Styles where he must win if he is to be signed. Secondly, the gauntlet match where the winner will be declared the number one contender to Michael Hotbody's Cruiserweight Title. There will be ten men in total, each match with a 15-minute time limit. Last, but certainly not least, the main event which will pit Xavier Cross and the Money in the Bank holder Brandon Reigns against Kyle Jacobs and the WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp.
First Match: Eddy Clash vs. Ziggy Styles
Ziggy talks about his fruitless efforts in the last few weeks to find people in the WWE who have wanted to just have a good time and get Ziggy with it. He feels bad that he's only going to add to that pile when he inevitably disappoints Eddy Clash tonight by beating him and keeping him out of the WWE. However, even though one dream will die that doesn't mean another can't take its place. And that dream is a WWE where everyone is down with Ziggy Styles and free from any sort of Debbie Downer losers like Eddy Clash! Eddy naturally is miffed at these words but looks prepped and ready to go. This is actually the in-ring debut of both of these guys. Clash doesn't have the high stats has Ziggy does but they mesh well enough here to get a pretty good outing. The charisma probably helps. Anyways, Ziggy gets overwhelmed as it's just not his night and Eddy is too determined. Clash hits the Thunderstrike to score the pin and win himself a contract into the WWE! Sure it's not the name of a Clash song but it's early in his career, so who knows? ****1/4, 85% overall.
CRUISERWEIGHT GAUNTLET:
Before we get cooking the 2031 Fulton County First Place Conga Award Winner, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody decides to saunter down to the ring and proclaim that he is incredibly interested in who will come out on top here tonight, even though there are CERTAIN PEOPLE who shouldn't even be involved in this contest because he's already dealt with them before. He's not going to name names but they know who they are!!! That's right, he's talking to Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle!!! Again, not to name names or anything. Regardless of what transpires, Hotbody declares that he's going to plant himself at that announce table and help call the action while doing some important scouting. He wishes the best of luck to the participants EXCEPT FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE!!! And with that, away we go....
First Round: Nigel Gallagher vs. Stanley Coleman
These poor guys have the distinction of starting the ball. Well somebody's getting disappointed one way or another. It's fast paced and full of lovely cruiserweight goodness as you'd expect, even though the charisma between the two is rough to overcome. Nigel gets the duke after hitting the Union Smack and gets to advance. ****1/2, 86% overall. Hotbody makes the claim that Nigel shouldn't be in contention on the grounds that nobody can understand what he says half of the time.
Second Round: Nigel Gallagher vs. Caleb Greene
GREENE IS OUT FOR REVENGE FOR HIS DEFEATED PARTNER!!! SMELL THE RIVALRY!!! OK, not really but it's a hell of a competitive match. A bit too competitive as neither guy is willing to stay down for long and unfortunately we reach the inevitable as the time limit expires and both men are out of the running. Boooooooooo! ****1/2, 86% overall. Hotbody declares that Caleb is a terrible friend and partner to Stanley Coleman and that's why he couldn't come out on top here.
Third Round: Martyn LaSalle vs. Jerome McDougal
Hotbody is understandably nervous as he talks during this contest. Some awesome fire is displayed here between the two and it's the most engaging as far as the crowd reaction goes. LaSalle manages to lock in the Martynizer to score the tap out win and advance much to the chagrin of Hotbody at ringside. ****1/2, 91% overall.
Fourth Round: Martyn LaSalle vs. Jordan Demiras
SMELL THE DRAMA!!! Close as these two have been since Jordan's return there's still a title shot on the line here and thus they kick it into 5th gear. It's a classic to be sure. Hotbody ponders over how it would be something if both of these guys got knocked out of the running. Joey Styles responds that it is possible under the rules. Hotbody finds that interesting. It looks like the match will go the distance but HERE COME GALINO & FARNES! They attack both men and beat them down and the ref calls for the bell to throw the whole thing out. Hotbody is SHOCKED AND APPALLED that Galino & Farnes would commit such actions and ruin things for Demiras and LaSalle! Officials come out to break things up as we've got pandemonium. ****1/2, 90% overall.
Fifth Round: Miles Shawcross vs. Shawn Dangerson
Well we can't dwell on the past as we move on after everybody has been cleared from the area. We're essentially down the final three. This is on track to the best of the series. Dangerson gets the submission win with the Danger Zone! He regroups and backs away as he prepares for his next opponent. WAIT! JASON SOROLA RUNS IN FROM BEHIND TO ATTACK DANGERSON! *****, 94% overall.
Sixth Round: Shawn Dangerson vs. Jason Sorola
We're not wasting any time apparently as Sorola is on the attack after his less than sportsmanlike entrance. Hotbody makes the claim that he would have warned Dangerson if he had seen Sorola. These guys have got themselves some history. As good as the last bout was this one is even better. Dangerson is in trouble as he's down and out and Sorola looks to capitalize with a Frog Splash. Dangerson recovers and drop kicks Sorola off the top rope sending him to the outside. That was a pretty nasty tumble. Nasty to the point where it causes Sorola to get counted out giving Dangerson the win and sending him to the final round. *****, 96% overall.
FINAL ROUND: Shawn Dangerson vs. Ozzy Mandias
Ozzy has the luck of the draw as he's facing a tired Dangerson. Hotbody avoids the question of who he'd rather like to face. Sorola has to be escorted away as he's throwing a fit over the last match. Even match between these two that comes down to them ending up on the outside triggering a 10-count. The ref has his back turned as he checks on Ozzy and that's the opening that Jason Sorola needs as he makes his return in a fit and nails Dangerson from behind before bolting into the crowd. Now the ref checks on Dangerson as the count continues and Hotbody takes the opportunity to help Ozzy back into the ring but that darn Coriolis effect kicks in and screws up his aim and Ozzy ends up colliding with the ring post. Hotbody returns to his announcing post as the ref reaches the count of ten and that's a double countout as we end with no winner. Hotbody displays his disappointment at this turn of events as he takes his leave. ****1/2, 89% overall.
Third (???) Match: The Jersey Experience vs. The Southern Belles
Maybe some hot women can put the crowd at ease after getting the shaft over that last turn of events. The Southern Belles would be a good set of challengers down the road. Bobbi Jo uses the custom mic on Frankie to score the cheap pin. ****1/2, 91% overall.
MAIN EVENT: Xavier Cross and Brandon Reigns vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp and Kyle Jacobs
Reigns gets on the mic and reminds everyone of the fact that he ONCE AGAIN is the possessor of the Money in the Bank briefcase. True, he doesn't have plans to cash it in until WrestleMania BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE MATTER!!! He plans on making everyone responsible for last week's headache pay starting with Seth Von Kamp. Seth may be sitting pretty but Reigns gets to name the stipulation for his rematch for the Intercontinental Title and he promises it will be the kind of match that Seth will never forget. Neither Reigns or Seth seem interested in tagging in their respective partners as they've got a lot to settle between them. Finally Cross makes a blind tag when the opportunity arises. Reigns is miffed at this and the two heels argue amongst themselves. Jacobs decides to get off his ass and drop kicks Cross into Reigns knocking Reigns out of the ring and that sets up Cross for the Collapse of Society for the pin. *****, 95% overall.
Overall show rating: 91%
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