[M-A-G]

SmackDown!: August 31, 2040

Final show of the month! Things have gone well enough to where I'm not regretting moving over to 4.2. I'm sure that will change when some other random thing decides to take Jenna and/or Faith from me for whatever fucking reason. Let's try to finish the month of August on a high note!

We open with the FIRST EVER WWE Women's Tag Team Champions, The Lonely Girls. Seeing as we're in Faith's home country of Canada she is of course over as fuck. Faith takes the time to get a sweeping shot of the crowd on the Runner Cam as part of this, presumably, celebration. Jenna is tolerated as Faith vouches for her even though the last time they were both in Canada she got booed mercilessly. Faith says that it's a whole new set of circumstances between her and Jenna and that it should be taken as a sign that things, no matter how hard you may fight against it, are subject to change. It's inevitable and there's no need to look any further than what the two of them are holding in their possession as proof of that. Jenna talks about what a historical night it was at SummerSlam. Things have been so hectic this last week that she and Faith haven't really had the time to soak it all in and actually enjoy the fruits of their labors. Well, they're taking the night off as it's a Friday and Faith told Jenna that Toronto has got some of the hottest spots on the town when it comes to Canada. Tonight will be a night for revelry and maybe some drunken karaoke. But they haven't forgotten their responsibilities. They know that there is an ocean full of sharks ready to strike and try to stake their claim to this new championship. The Lonely Girls will be waiting and ready. Faith puts an exclamation point on this spiel by pointing out that if her and Jenna fought like hell to win the belts, you can be damn sure they'll fight twice as hard to keep them. Until then, Toronto, let's have ourselves a hell of a time! The segment ends with Jenna and Faith playing to the crowd and making their exit through the arena while interacting with the people.

Backstage, we're joined by the lovely Luscious and her man, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody and Zed Jones! Hotbody wants to talk about those two criminals, Jordan Demiras and Martyn LaSalle, making a mess of things on Raw. Nobody invited Jordan Demiras back unless Martyn LaSalle wants to fess up to it. And if he did invite Demiras back, there needs to be SERIOUS INQUIRIES into what sort of hijinx they're up to! Hotbody isn't a lying fraud. Hotbody actually announces when he'll be showing up because he wants the fans to know when to tune in to see him. He's not about deception and flirting with legal woes unlike those two delinquents. There is an 8-man main event tonight but Hotbody wants to make it clear that LaSalle and Demiras have no further business with him as they've both been conquered and vanquished. They should consider this their only warning as after tonight Hotbody wants nothing to do with them anymore!

First Match: Shawn Dangerson vs. Romeo Valiente
Sophie Waters joins the commentary team to talk about the challenge she laid out to Luscious in regards to the Cruiserweight Title. Hotbody has bigger problems on his hands than just Demiras and LaSalle is Shawn Dangerson manages to get a title shot. This is a hell of an opener as Valiente is a great veteran and knows what to do to put a guy over. Dangerson continues his path of destruction with another tap out win via the Danger Zone. *****. 94% overall.

Second Match: WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Jersey Experience
The heels don't look like they're quite on the same page. Naomi talks about how upset she is over what happened at SummerSlam. History was ripped from her and there needs to be consequences for that! She rips Jenna and Faith for using tonight as an excuse to party while she's stuck here with Eclypse. They had better find the time to watch her tonight and what she does, though, because they'll be getting the same. Anyways, the match unfolds with Eclypse more often than not looking like she's not thrilled with what Naomi said. It boils down to Frankie and Naomi as things break down. Frankie tries a running charge but Naomi 'accidentally' pulls Eclypse into the path and the champion capitalizes by hitting Frankie with the Bail Out to score the pin. Eclypse continues to look upset. ****1/2, 93%

Backstage, Lisa Benton wants to give an update on the condition of the Unified World Champion Noah Carmichael. She still hasn't received any word from Carmichael's doctors as to whether or not he's cleared to compete so once again, unfortunately, he's not here tonight. She is waiting with baited breath to get that green light so that she can move forward with setting him up with a challenger at Unforgiven. Brooke interrupts things and declares that the person that Benton is considering making Carmichael's challenger had better be Salvatore Scabbia. Nobody on the roster right now has the record of Scabbia! Nobody has Carmichael's number like Scabbia! What exactly is Benton afraid of? Trying to protect Carmichael is pointless because after Scabbia gets done with him, he's going to be back in the same spot that he is now: broken, busted up, and hopeless. Benton tells Brooke to cool her jets because her ambition might come back to bite her in the ass. Benton knows how eager Brooke is to have a Unified World Champion as a client but maybe she should brush up on her coaching and managing skills. How about her boys The Academy take on The Wyldhearts tonight?

Third Match: Quentin McDaniels vs. El Silencio
Not much here other than giving McDaniels a strong outing, hampered by Silencio's low charisma. They get through fine enough as McDaniels scores a clean pin after the Great Depression. ****1/2, 91% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the NEW Intercontinental Champion Seth Von Kamp. Much like the Women's Tag Team Champions earlier tonight, Seth claims that he's yet to really grasp what it meant to capture the championship at SummerSlam. Nine long years of busting his ass in this company, not counting the years of training and scraping by to even get noticed by this company, and now he stands here with his first singles title. The first and he certainly hopes not the last as there's always that bigger fish out there. He doesn't know when Noah Carmichael will be back in action and he certainly doesn't know who will be the one to challenge him for the Unified World Title but should the opportunity arise, Seth Von Kamp knows that the impossible can happen and he'll gladly take that championship, too. There's just one little hitch and that's the pain in the ass known as Brandon Reigns. Reigns certainly hasn't been taking SummerSlam very well, has he? First he accuses Seth of not being worthy of a shot at the Intercontinental Title, then he accuses Seth of not living up to a champion's responsibilities, and then he just flat out goes nuts and decides to get physical last night on Superstars. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out where Brandon's head is at right now and what it is he wants so Seth will make it very easy for him. Seth stands here, daring Brandon Reigns to give it another go because Seth is ready to be responsible: responsible for making Reigns look like a pansy ass bitch!

Cue Brandon Reigns who's got his hands full of piss and vinegar...and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He tries to run down and take a swing with it but Seth ducks and it flies loose. Seth sets up for the Collapse of Society but Reigns escapes and bails. Seth gets a hold of the briefcase and taunts Reigns with it. Reigns is furious and demands its return so Seth just chucks it into the crowd! Someone got themselves a souvenir! Reigns continues his tantrum on the outside as we go to break.

Fourth Match: Ozzy Mandias vs. Lyle Morris
I've let Ozzy slip through the cracks so I figure get him back on TV as he delivers the cruiserweight goods. Perhaps he can be the one to unseat Hotbody? A question for another time as Lyle Morris gives him more than enough of a challenge here. Ozzy connects with the Blizzard of Oz to pick up the win. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Fifth Match: The Wyldhearts vs. The Academy
Brooke once again plays her part as manager as she's in the corner of the Academy. Brooke talks about how there is discussion that she's left some of her other clients out in the rain but she counters that the Academy are proof positive that she's got what it takes to bring people to their fullest potential and become champions. Noah Carmichael isn't here to ruin things for her like he did last night so everyone should just shut and watch how she handles things! This is an evenly contested bout as The Wyldhearts are still looking for those Tag Team Titles and want to look good here. Speaking of which, the champions themselves make their way out to take a gander at things. Brooke gets caught up in a verbal scuffle with Madison on the outside as the Wyldhearts start to gain some momentum. Sadly, The Future Foundation decide to be dicks here and run in for the DQ attack on the Wyldhearts. The Academy don't look too thrilled with both the Future Foundation and Brooke. *****, 94% overall.

Sixth Match: King Kavovit vs. Gavin Jones
Kavovit demands that Michael Haywood be sent to the back in THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS! Moses McKay sadly can't be here because of the Play Pals' deviousness so it's only right that Jones doesn't have any back up either. Haywood does, indeed, go to the back as Jones assures him that things are OK here. It's another hot match tonight as the feud between these teams is still awesome despite one guy being suspended...er, injured.... Anyways, Kavovit takes advantage of the fact that there's no one in the corner of Jones as he goes for the FOREIGN OBJECT OF EXTREME HUMILIATION and nails Jones to score the cheap win. *****, 99% overall. When I end this feud it's going to be fire.

MAIN EVENT: The Dillingers, Jordan Demiras, and Martyn LaSalle vs. The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody, Zed Jones, and Galino & Farnes
The heels come out in a conga line with Zed leading the way but him not actually dancing and still doing his silent straight man bit. Hotbody brags about the size of his on-screen name display and that there's no one on the opposing team that can even come close to all of those achievements! Hotbody-Mania continues to run wild and there is no one that can stop it! He's got the muscle! He's got the hotness! He's got the brains! And that's not even including his team! He makes out with Luscious until the faces get sick of the whole thing and start the match by attacking the heels. It's a crazy affair as you'd expect as Jordan Demiras looks to shake some of the ring rust off. Ultimately, it's down to Joey Dillinger and Hotbody and Luscious decides to get revenge for her make out session being interrupted and uses the same spray she used on Martyn LaSalle weeks ago. Hotbody capitalizes with the Hot Ticket to pick up the win for his team. His team quickly gets him out of there before anyone else can try to get them some. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Overall show rating: 91%