[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito After thinking long and hard about it and listening to all they had to offer, I couldn't decide between Lana, Renee, and Penelope so I simply chose all three. As I wrote this show Lana gave me a shoulder massage, Renee fanned me with a huge leaf and Penelope fed me grapes. I gotta say this whole "being the head booker" thing is pretty swell.

Renee has to deal with Moxley so I can only assume she's into some kinky shit which is a bit of a turn off but she has the Canadian thing going for her. Lana is just straight up hot with a hell of a figure. Penelope...oops, there went my dick....

AEW Dark: May 11, 2021: -Kip Sabian def. QT Marshall -Powerhouse Hobbs def. Billy -Dr. Britt Baker def. Yuka Sakazaki -Frankie Kazarian def. Peter Avalon -The Inner Circle (Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager) def. The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds and John Silver) -Cody Rhodes def. Jack Evans

The fact that you're back into things with a vengeance and pumping out the shows fairly quick is kind of lighting a fire under my ass to get back to work on my shows. I'm sure Jenna and Faith miss me....

AEW Dynamite: May 12, 2021 Segment 1: Kenny Omega is out with Don Callis, sign up list in hand, to open the show and run the gauntlet. Or is he? You see, Kenny's stamina is unmatched in this business. As Callis explains, between the number of wrestlers who signed up and Kenny's unmatched stamina, he could easy wrestle for over an hour, maybe even the entire two hours of the broadcast. That's simply not fair to the other matches that had been signed for the card. But instead, he'll give fans the next best thing - a title defense! Kenny Omega believes in rewarding people who take initiative, and so he is more than happy to grant a title opportunity to the very first person who stepped up to the plate and signed up for the gauntlet. He hands the list over to Kenny to make the big announcement. Kenny looks at it, turns the list upside down, and calls in his next challenger, come on down MICHAEL NAKAZAWA!!!!! 89% overall

OK, I know I've seen that pulled off before by another dick heel but I just can't remember who. I remember laughing my ass off, though, because that's such an awesome dick thing to do and this was further proof of that.

Segment 2: The crowd boos ferociously. Michael Nakazawa is possibly the biggest jobber in the company (and also the least over at 47 overall), hell he's only in the company as a favor to Kenny as they go way back to their days at DDT Wrestling in Japan. How the hell is he getting a title shot? The whole thing is a big sham as Kenny dispatches of Nakazawa with haste, and Callis towels him off after his hard fought victory. But the crowd gets what they really want as PAC and Rey Fenix run in afterwards to run off Kenny and keep the feud going. He also delivers some news straight from the desk of Kurt Angle: Kenny will face Rey Fenix next week! Give Naka's abysmal overness the rating for this was never going to be great in-game but I don't care, this whole scenario would pop me. **3/4, 74% overall

I'm telling you, if the game had a way to make it clear that a match is intended to be merely a squash so it won't penalize you, it'd be great.

Segment 3: Miro arrives backstage, asking Kip Sabian over the phone where he is, apparently Kip has some car trouble. It looks like someone slashed a tire in the parking lot. Before Miro even knows what hit him, Jon Moxley has pounced on him and gets Miro right where he wants him in a 1 on 1 situation. The two throw haymakers as officials intervene. 88% overall

Kip should have just tried turning it off and then on again.

Segment 4: Over the weekend, it was announced that Awesome Kong vs. Nyla Rose was officially signed for Double or Nothing. Both women picked partners for a tag match, Kong went with her recent rival Hikaru Shida who share mutual respect with one another. Nyla went with Mel, Kong's former associate in the Nightmare Collective. Mel's substantially less over than everyone else in the match so it's fairly clear what her purpose is here. At one point Mel goes to make a desperate tag but Rose decides to fuck off as she and Vickie retreat, leaving Mel to take the brunt of the beating and the loss. ***, 74% overall

Awesome Kong needs to get her hands on Vickie and power bomb all of the "Excuse Me" right out of her. Like, to the point where she'd be physically incapable of uttering those words ever again.

Segment 5: Team Taz runs down Best Friends, especially Orange Cassidy. Taz attempts to justify Brian Cage's assault on Cassidy last week. Who does that aloof moron think he can upstage "The Machine"? Enter Orange Cassidy, Chuck Taylor, and Kris Statlander. Orange points at Cage's TNT Championship and looks at the Double or Nothing poster in the background. Orange lays down a challenge without saying a single word. 83% overall

Not quite 'Point at the WrestleMania Sign' but it'll do.

Segment 6: Another match signed over the weekend sees Dustin Rhodes back at it, attempting to beat some sense into MJF in a Bullrope match. MJF deplores having to waste his time wrestling someone who should have retired years ago, but quickly gets a reality check when Dustin beats the ever loving fuck out of him early on. MJF has to get on the defensive and eventually find his mean streak, conveniently after Wardlow intervened. MJF goes to town with the bullrope, using the no DQ nature of the match to beat Dustin bloody with the bell at the end of the rope. South Hamptons Plunge onto the bell and MJF wins. MJF tells everyone that Cody has challenged him to a match at Double or Nothing, but MJF has already beaten Cody once. Why should he grant him another match? Just like the last time they faced off, MJF will only do it on HIS terms. Last time he gave Cody three stipulations to get to the match, and it's gonna be no different this time. Cody will learn these stipulations in due time. As a final insult, he busts out the Double Cross (Cross Rhodes) on Dustin right onto the bell to get the win. ***, 80% overall

This is great stuff and just the right way to use poor Dustin. I say 'poor Dustin' but the fucker's banged Terri Runnels so I'm never going to feel too bad for him.

Segment 7: Last week Eddie Kingston became the first man to announce his entry into the Casino Battle Royale, tonight he faces another man who has declared in Matt Sydal. I thought these two might be a clash of styles with Eddie being a brawler and Sydal being a speed guy, but they ended up meshing extremely well. Despite being the self proclaimed toughest man in wrestling, Kingston once again couldn't close the deal without help from Butcher and the Blade, spinning backfist after a distraction finishes it. "Everybody Dies" hits as Lance Archer appears on the ramp with Jake Roberts. Archer has not forgotten Kingston screwing him over a couple of weeks ago. On the tron, they show the finish of the 2020 Casino Battle Royale in which Archer eliminated Kingston to win the match (referencing events from previous years? That's allowed?) History is gonna repeat itself in a few weeks because Archer is back in the Casino Battle Royale too. ***1/2, 85% overall

Pretty sure anything past 6 months gets wiped from history according to modern day rules. I think the only time guys don't mesh is if the majority of their stats aren't close together enough. Like a guy with 85 brawl and a guy with 84 speed can still work well if the rest of the stats are like in the sixties. Don't quote me on that, though.

Segment 8: A video package for Darby Allin plays. He speaks of unfinished business with MJF for what he did to Sting, but he'll wait until MJF's done getting his reckoning from the Rhodes boys. After losing his TNT Title, he's keen to get back into the title picture, so he too is entering the Casino Battle Royale. 74% overall

What's the limit on the number of entries?

[quote]Segment 9:

We have our second tag match in the #1 contender mini tournament. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of The Dark Order face off against FTR, with the winners to face Santana and Ortiz next week for the Double or Nothing title shot against The Bucks.

I'm seeing firsthand how much the tag experience rating comes into play. FTR have teamed for 7 years and Uno and Grayson (formerly the Super Smash Brothers on the indies) have been teaming for 15 years, so both teams gel very well and they've got similar in-ring stats to boot. So yeah, this was easily match of the night to the tune of a 95% quality.

With Tully Blanchard and Shawn Spears being nuisances at ringside, it seems FTR will connive their way victory only for the music of SCU to hit. Frankie Kazarian and Scorpio Sky emerge and corner Spears at ringside. Spears tries to leave for the crowd but OH SHIT Christopher Daniels is in the crowd waiting for him! SCU are on a united front putting a beating on Spears, which distracts FTR in the ring. Dax Harwood is thrown out and Cash Wheeler takes a Fatality as Dark Order pick up the win! ****1/4, 84% overall

I'm telling you, get enough teams with an experience rating high enough and you can smoke up all of them snowflakes with plenty to spare. Even more so if you do a TLC. Christopher Daniels still managing to contribute, I see.

Segment 10: Medics are checking on Dustin backstage as Cody is checking in on him. Dustin wants nothing more than to see Cody get his hands on MJF. But after the beating he took tonight, he's coming to a conclusion he thought he never would: it might be time to put this old body down. Cody tries to talk some sense into Dustin and tell him he's still got fight in the tank. Before he can get too far with his speech though, the Inner Circle show up "coming in peace" as MJF tells Cody his first stipulation: Dustin better get his old ass back in gear if he wants Cody to get his match, because next week the Rhodes Boys have to wrestle Sammy Guevara and Jake Hager.

Hmmm...tough to gauge where you might go with that tag match. I mean, Dustin SHOULD do the job but if we're building to Cody getting what he's after, there's room for a fluke win or something.

Segment 11: The AEW cage looks a bit more bedazzled than usual, courtesy of Hangman Page as he looks to build off of the momentum the Dark Order just built by settling the score once and for all over Matt Hardy.

He then scoffs and asks the fans "what do you think I am, some kind of spot monkey?" [/b]

Well, I mean....

A lot of what you're doing seems to be paying dividends, the tag teams in particular. Plus there was a strong ending to the show. Could've used some more Penelope but I imagine you're going to use all of that money to sign Mark Henry now.