[M-A-G]

Raw: August 20, 2040

It's the final Raw before SummerSlam! I swear to God I will castrate a bitch who fucks things up!!!

Opening Match: The Wyldhearts vs. The Southern Gentlemen
Yeah, give us some of that hot opening tag team action. I think the Wyldhearts have earned their spot as a top team. What that'll do for the other top face teams, who knows. But I do know this match kicks ass. The Future Foundation try to spoil everyone's fun but Greer manages to send Lee into Rick Hilton to ruin that idea. Lee falls prey to the Heartstopper and we have a win for the Wyldhearts. Lisa Benton afterwards comes out to tell the Future Foundation that if they're so eager to get them some of the Wyldhearts then they can defend the Unified Tag Team Titles against them on Superstars. *****, 95% overall.

Backstage, The Lonely Girls are discussing what they're planning on doing tonight. One of them has a chance at the Women's Title; they just have to decide who will get the match. Faith tries to explain that this is nothing more than Naomi's lame attempt at causing friction between her and Jenna before SummerSlam. Naomi knows that, united, Jenna and Faith have got SummerSlam in the bag. Faith talks about how the Lonely Girls are so close to making history and that the two of them have come so far. Jenna agrees with all of that...but it's a chance to become the Women's Champion again. Jenna says that Faith would be lying to everyone if she were to claim that wasn't enticing. Jenna adds that it shouldn't change a thing if their commitment to SummerSlam is strong. Faith asks if that would be true if Faith got the title shot. Jenna deflects by saying one way or another it needs to be decided. Faith sighs and then asks how are they going to decide. Jenna fishes out a coin and holds it up and asks, "Call it in the air?" Faith reluctantly agrees and calls tails as Jenna flips the coin. It lands and the two women look at each other as we cut away. WHO WON THE TOSS?

It's time for another edition of the Hot Button with everyone's favorite host, The Luscious Lover and Undefeated Steel Cage Master and REAL 2040 King of the Ring, The Supreme Submission Machine, Former WWE Cruiserweight Champion-Elect, the Cruiserweight Champion Michael Hotbody! He has Luscious out here with him and he goes on to talk about the extensive and rigorous training he's undergone to shape himself into the Supreme Submission Machine that will destroy Martyn LaSalle at SummerSlam. He's even had Zed Jones teach him his Dragon Sleeper and Zed has even admitted that Hotbody applies it even better than he does! Which brings us to tonight as he's prepared a special demonstration. One that will hopefully educate everyone on the dangerous game LaSalle is playing if he chooses to go through with this submission match. Hotbody invites anyone who wants to give it a go at him to try to tap him out. Any and all participants choosing to take part in this will have to sign a legal release with Hotbody's crack and trusted legal counsel, Galino & Farnes, so who wants to give it a go first?

Hotbody proceeds to select some scrub from the crowd who looks to be about 100 lbs. soaking wet. Galino & Farnes asks him to sign the release form asking if him if he understands the physical nature of what this demonstration entails and that Michael Hotbody can not and shall not be held legally responsible for damages incurred for participating. The poor guy enters the ring and this exhibition begins with Hotbody repeatedly taking him down to the mat. He locks in a weak ass ankle lock and the guy quickly taps out. Luscious immediately rushes to man with a microphone in hand and asks him about what just transpired: "I...I don't know what I was thinking. That was just...I don't even think brutal covers it!" Luscious excuses the man and escorts him back to his seat. Hotbody asks for another willing combatant and selects a guy who looks in worse shape than the last. Galino & Farnes do their legal rigmarole and the man enters the ring. Hotbody again dominates the poor guy and this time locks in a Dragon Sleeper and once again gets a quick tap out. Luscious again heads over and asks the man about his experience: "That...that's not even a man! I don't know how Martyn LaSalle is even planning on surviving at SummerSlam!"

"Based on what you experienced right now against Hotbody, what would you personally recommend to Martyn LaSalle?"

"I would say he's better off just not going through with the match. Michael Hotbody is just too much!"

With that, Michael Hotbody gloats with giddiness. "You heard it right from the horse's mouth! I hope Martyn LaSalle was watching and listening! These were the pleas of honest men who clearly only want the best for Martyn LaSalle! I also want the best for Martyn LaSalle! No one will think any less of him if he was to come forward and do the logical thing and just drop from this match! Now if what he just witnessed isn't enough to persuade him to the side of reason, I've got time for one more exhibition and, boy, it's a doozy! Now, let's find somebody else, if they're willing to volunteer...."

Naturally during this Martyn LaSalle decides to make his way through the crowd and over the railing and into the ring behind Hotbody. A quick suplex takes down the champion and LaSalle locks in the Martynizer! HOTBODY TAPS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH! LaSalle quickly releases and bails when Hotbody's goons try to interfere. Message has been sent!

Second Match: Jason Sorola vs. Shawn Dangerson
Testing the waters here to see how these guys might fare in an extended program against each other. And judging from the way this turned out I have high hopes. Dangerson in particular as his push continues unabated. I can't give it all away just here so we end with Dangerson managing to beat the count back in and get the victory over Sorola. Sorola is less than impressed. *****, 96% overall.

Wrakk is in the back and he wants to give Haven a piece of his mind. "So it's in these shadows where you find your strength, huh, Haven? I dare ask, do you really believe it frightens me in any shape or form? Parlor tricks and darkness may work on the feeble-minded that ravage the WWE but that's the problem. Weakness has permeated every nook and cranny in this infrastructure but thankfully I've returned to rectify the matter. I've spent the last year counting down the days, eager to join you in that darkness. Because real fear, real power comes from finding that Bogeyman, pulling him into the light and breaking him. Haven, you have no cards left to play."

Third Match: The Glitz Girls vs. The Brooklyn Sisterhood
I need to bring the feud between Tania and Billie to a head. In the meantime I shall use this match as a means to extend it a smidge and, of course, rock my awesome women's tag division. *****, 95% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with the Intercontinental Champion, the Money in the Bank holder, Brandon Reigns. He reminds us all about the ticking clock, not for SummerSlam, but for WrestleMania. Reigns doesn't know who's going to survive Hell in a Cell, much less who will be the Unified World Champion but know that should they make it to WrestleMania, they would have been better off not even participating this Sunday. And that goes double for Seth Von Kamp who has decided to basically throw away everything for a longshot at being the guy who is going to put an end to one of the most impressive Intercontinental Title runs in recent history. Seth signed it all away by agreeing to face Reigns at SummerSlam and when it all comes to pass, when he reflects on his career when he's already gone and gray he'll question that decision and fret over being such an arrogant moron. Reigns knows that all of the people actually agree with him because he knows their hearts sank the minute Seth put his career on the line. They all saw what happened to Jake Connelly. They all saw what happened to Conner Buchanan. Now they get to relive that sad feeling they experienced one more time and all because Seth Von Kamp couldn't be a God damn grown up and just let things go! He's going to have no one else to blame but himself because he's had chance after chance! Money in the Bank! King of the Ring! Everything he touches turns from opportunity to sludge that gets flushed down the toilet and SummerSlam will be the apex of that fact!

Naturally Seth Von Kamp has heard enough of this tirade and decides to try to get his hands on Reigns. We get a brief brawl but Reigns uses his Money in the Bank briefcase on the old breadbasket and just whallops Seth when he's doubled over. Reigns stands tall with his championship as we go to break.

Fourth Match: Kerry Cemenko vs. Chris Collins
Kerry's like my dark horse. He'll often times just surprise me with a kick ass showing out of nowhere. Anyways, he needs this match to help BUILD MOMENTUM going into SummerSlam and thus he escapes the Fall From Heaven attempt from Collins and turns it into a surprise Curb Stomp to pick up the win. Quentin McDaniels decides to lay out Kerry afterwards for fun. *****, 94% overall.

Fifth Match: Xavier Cross vs. Caleb Greene
Cross also needs to BUILD MOMENTUM as he's got Kyle Jacobs in his sights for SummerSlam. Jacobs is on commentary proclaiming that any and all problems Cross wants to complain about have all come from Cross' inability to shut his mouth. Anyways, Cross sends a message here with a good decisive victory here after a hot back and forth affair by finishing Greene off with a Cross Cutter. Both he and Jacobs have a staredown. *****, 94% overall.

The announcers talk about the Hell in a Cell match for the Unified World Title at SummerSlam. We've heard from Noah Carmichael in Josh Matthew's interview with him on SmackDown! and now we'll here from the champion Butch Fleming in this sit-down interview Josh conducted....

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Josh Matthews: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us as I sit down with the man who will be defending his WWE Unified World Championship at SummerSlam against Noah Carmichael inside Hell in a Cell, Butch Fleming. Mr. Fleming, thank you for agreeing to this.

Butch Fleming: Let's get right to it, son.

Matthews: Well, Mr. Fleming, I've sat down with your opponent for SummerSlam in a similar fashion as this and he had quite a number of insights on you...

Fleming: Such as?

Matthews: ...well, for instance he claimed that because Hell in a Cell wasn't your idea for this match that, maybe perhaps...

Fleming: What? That I'm afraid of him? That I'm afraid of the cell? I didn't ask for Hell in a Cell because I don't need it. I've made that boy my bitch EVERY single time he's crossed my path. Why would the next time be any different? Hell in a Cell? It's icing on the cake. I'm delighted...no, I'm salivating at the thought of him being trapped in that cell with me. He wants finality? I'll give it to him. He can consider it the last generous thing I'll ever do for him.

Matthews: And what about after? This is a match that's changed the lives of so many men who have dared to try their hand at it, yourself included....

Fleming: It didn't change me. It solidified who I am. It gave proof to the words that I've spoken about myself since I stepped onto the scene here. As far as what happens after, I expect every God damn member of this roster to respect my ass and learn from Carmichael. There will be no sympathy, no quarter given to any starry-eyed little squirt who thinks this world is their oyster and doesn't want to show me the proper respect that I have EARNED!

Matthews: You speak incredibly ill of a man who was at your side from the very beginning and from all accounts thought the world of you. You don't have any reservations about the way you feel about Noah Carmichael?

Fleming: Should I? He made his bed. He should have known damn well what was in store for him when he decided to try to be bigger than me. You don't feel bad for the ungrateful dog that bites the hand that feeds it. You shame it. You punish it. You strip it of any sliver of self-worth it may feel until it gives you those sad, regretful puppy eyes. And when it looks up at you with those eyes, that's the moment when you put it down.

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MAIN EVENT: WWE Women's Championship
Naomi Bailey (c) vs. ???

Naomi brags about how little it took to get Faith Connors and Jenna Kyle snapping at each other all over again. They're the ones that going to make history at SummerSlam? It wouldn't surprise her if they couldn't order coffee together. The alliance between them is too fragile and too compromised by ego and desire. Meanwhile, Eclypse is 100% on the same page as Naomi. The match is merely a formality and even Riott will have to acknowledge the best when she raises Naomi and Eclypse's hands at SummerSlam. Now, as far as tonight goes, Naomi can start the ball right now. So who's the victim?

WWE Women's Championship
Naomi Bailey (c) vs. Jenna Kyle
Jenna comes out, the apparent winner of the coin toss earlier. She calls this the biggest mistake Naomi could have made. We get the match you'd expect out of these two and I'm sure I'll be diving more into the possibilities between them in the future. But for now we have to settle for Eclypse making her way out to observe. Jenna ends up out of the ring next to Eclypse and things get tense. Eclypse is told to move away by the ref and she turns and complies but Naomi shoves Jenna into Eclypse on accident. Eclypse gets the wrong idea and nails Jenna causing the DQ. Naomi is all "WTF?" and things get even more tense but here comes Faith to keep things on the up and up and we have ourselves a brawl to close things out. *****, 97% overall.


Overall Show Rating: 91%