This was posted years ago but I just remembered it and it was so fucking funny I needed to post it again. Kane talking about the 2011 Rumble on Busted Open:
Quote:
Kane: This was Royal Rumble 2011, from Boston. I didn’t know what number or who I was throwing over just that they needed me. As soon as I got the area the boys were all huffing and puffing about something. Show (Big) came up to me and told me how Kev (Nash) had been offended by some last minute details and that he and Vince had it out. Then Show told me Kev had walked out. The backstory is apparently Kev was pissed that Vince wanted him to return as Diesel instead of the Nash character. I guess he felt like Vince was marginalizing all of the success he had in WCW with the Nash character. Anyways…
I was sitting with Mark (Henry) and Bryan (Danielson) in the locker room when sarge busted in and told me ‘Glenn you’re up.’ That meant that it was my turn to sort of go over the part of the rumble that I was going to be part of. It seemed strange getting the call so early, like several hours before the show started but I paid little mind. When I got to Vince’s office he was pacing around and seemed unhinged. ‘Glenn, we need to step up big tonight. You’re going to be a game changer tonight. Can we trust you Glenn?’
Vince has this way of empowering you. I really felt rejuvenated after hearing that. I really wasn’t expecting much for this event but now Vince had my interest peaked. He told me ‘We made some promises to some very loyal people (WWE universe) that a very special return would be happening. A return from Big Daddy Cool! However due to a mutual inability to come to an agreement; Kevin Nash will not be appearing tonight. That doesn’t mean we won’t see Diesel. Are you following me Glenn?’
I was sitting there in his office in disbelief. How in hell is he going to try and run me down the ramp dressed up like Kev (as Diesel) again? He told me they had a wig prepared that would look exactly like Kev’s hair; because I had short hair the time. He told me to go with sarge and test out the gear in private. There was a million things I wanted to say but I was really in such disbelief that I couldn’t mutter a single word. I stood up, Vince slapped me on my shoulder proud as a father could be, and I walked out with sarge leading the way.
I was really hoping this was some sort of joke but as sarge lead me into a private dressing room there it was all over again, the Diesel outfit that had nearly ended my wrestling career sixteen years earlier. Being the loyal employee I put the outfit on as well as the wig and waited in the room for someone to tell me what my match plan was.
It felt like forever waiting in that room staring at the wall wondering why in the hell am I doing this bullshit again? I was really close to taking the shitty outfit off and just going home when Pat (Patterson) came into the dressing room and told me Kev came back and he and Vince worked it out. I needed to give up my Diesel gear and get back in my Kane gear pronto. He told me that they were going with the original plan. One problem; no one told me the original plan. Pat told me to wait here and I did. He came back fifteen minutes later and told me they forgot about Kane and said I would be going in dead last at 40, eliminate EJ (Ezekiel Jackson) and be eliminated by Rey in under two minutes.
So that is why I was number 40. No one ever mentioned the Diesel change to me again. I still can’t believe those fuckers were going to march me down the aisle posing as Kev again. What a fucking nightmare.
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