[M-A-G]

Raw: August 6, 2040

Opening Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Championship Competition Qualifier
The Southern Belles vs. The Internet Darlings vs. The Pacific Connection
Not wasting any time getting into the thick of things as far as the new championship is concerned. We'll have two of the four triple threat matches tonight with the remaining two on Superstars. A bit of a low crowd reaction but that can be blamed on the newbies in Mika and Tamara along with the low charisma of Sarah Moore and Lauren Franklyn. Work rate is top notch here as this is all about getting Bobbi Jo into gear as being able to hang with Hannah as an equal. Speaking of which, she once again makes good use of Hannah's custom mic to daze Lauren and hits the Rough Ride for the win. The Southern Belles qualify! ****1/2, 84% overall.

Backstage, The Play Pals are asked about their in-depth assessment of the Royal Effect. The problem with that question is there isn't much depth to the Royal Effect other than they're definitely asses. Top experts agree with that analysis! In fact if you were take a survey of this crowd tonight there is a 60% chance that 100% of them would analyze Moses McKay as one ass and King Kavovit as the other ass, just fancier. The way the Play Pals see it, is you can either handle these asses by spanking them or just taking out behind the barn and putting them out to pasture.

Back to the ring as the monstrous Wrakk makes his first appearance on Raw in over a year. Undoubtedly he's here to explain himself. "Let's rewind the clock one whole year!" he demands. "Butch Fleming may have made himself the center of attention with his return and all his gripes. TO HELL WITH THAT! I was actually the World Champion last year. And what was it that I was looking forward to? SummerSlam. Me on one side of the line with the Unified World Title to my name. And on the other side? A sorry excuse of a man. A sorry excuse of a King of the Ring. A sorry excuse of a leader. A SORRY EXCUSE OF A MONSTER! Haven may have breathed a sigh of relief on that fateful day when it was apparent that he didn't have to go through with that date with destiny. But destiny is never cancelled. It can only be postponed. Here we are now, one year later. Circumstances may have changed but the sentiment is still the same. I'm the scourge of the WWE. I'm the nightmare that keeps this company on edge and stricken with fear. I'm...."

The music of Haven starts up and interrupts Wrakk's tirade. Haven himself follows suit and trades glares with Wrakk as he stands on the stage. "What you are, Wrakk, is just another coward trying to use words as a front for your inferiority. Make no mistake, I certainly did not forget about what was meant to be last year. It's emblazoned in my mind because of the regret I carry of not having the opportunity to crush you and take the Unified World Title as my own! I looked forward to the moment you would dare tread these waters once more, Wrakk. Cheated as I have been in these weeks past I will not let this opportunity slip from my grasp. At SummerSlam, let us finish what we started so long ago so that you may learn the true meaning of nightmare!"

"Pretty words, Haven, but here's a bit of a wake up call, Mr. Nightmare: you think I spent one whole year away stewing in anger only to be dissuaded by threats and theater? Not a chance. You're all I've thought about. The one that got away! I'll walk into SummerSlam a happy man...and leave even happier."

Second Match: Galino & Farnes vs. The Dillingers
Before the match Luscious and Michael Hotbody discuss why they decided to retain Galino & Farnes as their legal counsel. Lisa Benton and all of her wickedness requires a much more delicate touch. Hotbody has it on good authority, thanks to his crack legal advice he's getting from Galino & Farnes, that the proposed title match against Martyn LaSalle is not valid! Galino talks about how there is precedent for situations like this, not just in wrestling but in other avenues as well. Hotbody made the right call in coming to the firm of Galino & Farnes because he knows they can get the results that he'll be happy with. Farnes decides to elaborate and brings up the fact that the match was made under false pretenses! Luscious was doing what legal experts refer to as "pulling a leg". There are several statutes that recognize it's overriding power in cases like this one. Luscious didn't actually mean anything so, ipso facto, the match is null and void, no take backs, and Lisa Benton had better shape up and keep her neck clean because she's treading on very thin and very dangerous legal ice! Anyhow, the match is fucking sweet thanks to the Dillingers efforts to make Galino & Farnes look like an actual threat. Joey Dillinger looks to put Freddie Galino away with the Dillinger Escape Plan but Hotbody decides to just shove him off the top for the DQ. It looks like a bad situation for the Dillingers but Martyn LaSalle makes his dashing return to try to get him some of Hotbody. It doesn't bode well for LaSalle as Galino & Farnes double-team him into oblivion. Hotbody celebrates with Luscious as they enjoy their newest investment. ****1/2, 91% overall.

Backstage, WWE Intercontinental Champion Brandon Reigns wants to make the claim that he doesn't have to prove anything to Seth Von Kamp if he doesn't want to. Look at the evidence! Brandon Reigns won that Money in the Bank contract at WrestleMania! Brandon Reigns retired TWO top level veterans in Jake Connelly and Conner Buchanan. Brandon Reigns won the Intercontinental Title and has defended it successfully and honorably! Seth has been with the company for nearly A DECADE! What does he have to show for it? What reason can he pull out of his ass in order to use as way to sneak into a match with Reigns? His failures IS NOT BRANDON REIGNS' PROBLEM!

Third Match: WWE Women's Tag Team Championship Competition Qualifier
WWE Women's Champion Naomi Bailey and Eclypse vs. The Brooklyn Sisterhood vs. The Glitz Girls
Naomi Bailey talks about how good it feels to finally acknowledge the relationship between her and Eclypse. When it comes to an opportunity like this, you want family at your side! Naomi's year is just going to get better and better! She may be right as the duo of her and Eclypse is just a powerhouse of power. It all comes to an end when Bailey clocks Lzzy with her scepter behind everyone's back and Eclypse hits the Fade to Black for the pin and victory. ****1/2, 94% overall.

In-Ring Super Special Talky Time with Vivian Merrick. She declares that no one should hold her tactics against her in regards to what she did to the Wyldhearts. So she played with their emotions? So what? The WWE Unified Tag Team Titles were at stake! When you're sitting pretty at the top you look for any angle, any tool to knock off everyone else making that climb! Rick Hilton and Julian Merrick together form the most dangerous and most deserving tandem in the WWE right now and they're not letting it go for anyone! Vivian isn't like the hopeless tween losers in the crowd who lose their tiny minds over two weenies like the Wyldhearts! Really, if Blaine Bellamey wasn't such a full-fledged doofus who was so into himself he'd have never fallen for it to begin with! She even declares that she'd laugh in face if he were here right now! In the meantime, let every tag team out there know that they're playing with fire if they want to step up to the Future Foundation.

This brings out Blaine Bellamey of the Wyldhearts to offer his point of view. Blaine is actually glad in a lot of ways that Vivian didn't come on board. She's one of those high-maintenance pains in the ass that would've driven the Wyldhearts to dump her anyway. If nothing else, everyone should recognize Vivian's deception as proof that the Wyldhearts are a threat to those tag team titles and have what it takes to unseat the Future Foundation. Blaine's willing to put his money where his mouth is if Vivian is on board. Sadly we don't get a response. Well not from Vivian but from Rick Hilton as he runs out behind Blaine to get himself a piece. Vivian goes over to Blaine's fallen body and gives an exaggerated laugh.

Fourth Match: Alexander Piero and Clubber Harris vs. Orlando Kincaid and Chris Collins
These feuds MUST CONTINUE! Nothing major happening here as it comes down to Piero and Collins. Orlando takes advantage of Piero's relationship with Madison by hassling her on the outside and that distracts him enough to where Collins can capitalize with a Fall From Heaven for the pin and the victory. ****1/2, 93% overall.

Backstage, Fantasee wants to talk about how her team of the Jersey Experience is ready to go this Thursday on Superstars to get that chance to compete for the Women's Tag Team Titles. Roderick and Frankie have been learning to work as one in order to prepare and all the other teams are going to have their work cut out for them. Naturally Ziggy Styles needs to come into the picture as he wants to compliment Fantasee on her positivity and good mood. Becoming a champion is cause for celebration and happiness as it's the fulfillment of a wish. But Fantasee has another reason to be happy because she can realize a fantasy right now by getting Ziggy with it!!! Fantasee isn't impressed and merely walks away.

Back to the ring for more special talky time. This time the WWE Unified World Champion Butch Fleming joins us and he's actually delighted at the idea of facing Noah Carmichael inside a Hell in a Cell. He's not quite there yet in regards to saying yes, though. Realistically, any match will do as far as being able to finally rid himself of the embarrassment that is Noah Carmichael. He hopes that SummerSlam will finally shut the mouths of all of the detractors and that they will finally get it through their heads that this company, hell, this business, belongs to Butch Fleming!

Noah Carmichael comes out to further this discussion. Carmichael wonders what the hold up is. The Fleming of old would have already put his name on the dotted line so to speak and accepted the challenge by now. Hell, the Fleming of old would have brought up the idea first! Maybe Kerry Cemenko was right about Fleming. Fleming counters that Carmichael isn't his boss and that being the King of the Ring only means that Carmichael is entitled to getting an ass kicking at SummerSlam, nothing more! He doesn't just make demands of the world champion! Carmichael points out that Hell in a Cell will provide Fleming the opportunity to be as violent as he wants to be. Think about it: it's the perfect vessel for channeling all of that aggression and hatred he feels and just think of all the insidious ways he'd be able to punish the biggest thorn in his side! Those boasts would be justified and all Fleming has to do is say yes. That is, of course, if he's not scared.

Fleming, of course, takes offense at this slight towards his manhood and starts a brawl. It spills to the outside and Fleming takes a chair and puts it to good use as he takes Carmichael down. He then proceeds to sandwich Carmichael's fingers in between the chair and stomps on it, crushing them. Fleming angrily announces he's accepting the Hell in a Cell stipulation as Carmichael is attended to.

MAIN EVENT: Kerry Cemenko, Ryan Pattillo, and Kyle Jacobs vs. Quentin McDaniels, Salvatore Scabbia, and Xavier Cross.
I wish there was a way to tell your workers to not let it completely all hang out every single show. You know, save the quality stuff for the big events. Regardless, I'm not complaining that much as these guys deliver a hell of a way to close out the show. Pattillo puts McDaniels away with the Shutdown to give the faces the win. *****, 94% overall.

Overall show rating: 89%