[M-A-G]

Originally Posted by Conspiracy Victim Vito Tonight's results are sponsored by Dr. Britt Baker

I know what you're trying to do and it won't work!!!













Possibly....

AEW Dark: March 9, 2021: -"The Concrete Rose" Sonny Kiss def. Peter Avalon -Ivelisse and Diamante def. Thunder Rosa and Shanna -Wardlow def. Billy -Santana and Ortiz def. Alex Reynolds and John Silver -Rey Fenix def. Matt Sydal

'Concrete' is a word that doesn't seem to get used enough in wrestling. I used it for Kerry Cemenko because why not? Also please tell me John Silver has a parrot mascot.

AEW Dynamite: March 10, 2021 Segment 1: Starting off with a bang as Darby Allin defends his AEW TNT title against "The Spanish God" Sammy Guevara of the Inner Circle. These two had a match way back at Revolution 2020 and it was a fast paced encounter that did not disappoint, and that was no different here as Darby grabs the win after a Coffin Drop. Afterwards, Brian Cage of Team Taz levels Darby with his FTW Championship, Taz meant it when he said his beef with Darby is not yet over. ***1/4, 81% overall

They don't just give out those FTW Championships, you know.

Segment 2: Speaking of starting a show with a bang, here comes a special appearance by friend of the promotion Diamond Dallas Page! He promotes the latest upgrades of the DDP Yoga plan before the music of Eddie Kingston hits. Eddie runs down Page and uses it as a knock against Cody that he's giving valuable airtime his has-been legend friends. Before Page knows it, The Butcher, The Blade, and Allie are in the ring and The Family put the boots to poor Page. The Nightmare Family of Cody, Dustin, and QT Marshall run out for the save to build to the match later. 77% overall...as an aside, remembering that DDP is 3 years older than Sting will never not shock me

Yeah, DDP was a bit of a late bloomer. Again, beat downs on legends is gold.

Segment 3: Miro destroys Michael Nakazawa with reckless abandon in just a few moves. He leaves the Game Over locked in for long after the bell just to be an asshole. He points up to Orange Cassidy who is watching the match hanging out amongst the fans (YAY the mythical post-COVID era!) Orange gives him the thumbs up, not looking phased by Miro at all. **3/4, 68% overall...easily the worst segment of this feud so far, the plight of using one of the least over workers on the roster in his proper spot as an enhancement worker

Not everyone can be a Bo Dallas. You sometimes have to settle for a JTG.

Segment 4: "Hangman" Adam Page is at his favorite place, the arena bar, when The Hardy Party walk in. Matt tells Hangman that he knows he doesn't always approve of his methods, but he can't argue with the results. He hands Hangman another contract to consider signing the Matt Hardy Brand. He tells Hangman for just a meager 33.3% of his career earnings, he can take him to the highest levels of the sport. It's a no brainer! But just to show he means business, he's got them a match against another of Page's former friends, the AEW Tag Team champion Young Bucks, next week! 79% overall

Now if Hardy had been asking for 33.5% that would have been a bridge too far.

Segment 5: Another 2020 rivalry renewed as Dr. Britt Baker faces off against Hikaru Shida, who broke Britt's nose last year. I actually thought these two had some decent matches in real life but these ratings were nowhere near as kind to them, c'est la vie. Shida hits the Three Count for, well, the three count. Awesome Kong marches down to the ring afterward but hops off the apron as a fired up Shida swings her singapore cane at her. **1/2, 70% overall....actually, as Scott Keith says, that's still Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling

I love how both of us have universes where the women are constantly cranking out the goods.

Segment 6: Another member of Inner Circle is in action tonight as Wardlow who has rung up a lot of wins on Dark faces off against Jon Moxley. During the match, it is confirmed that The Purveyor of Violence was granted his wish to be a part of the Blood and Guts match. This was a pretty decent brawl that gave Wardlow a good showing while also letting Mox keep his age. Mox gets the win with the Paradigm Shift. **3/4, 74% overall

I want to steal that Purveyor of Violence title.

Segment 7: We cut backstage where there's a fracas going on. PAC finds himself the victim of a three on one beatdown by Shawn Spears and FTR. Those three had been feuding with Jurassic Express, what beef does PAC have with them? In the background, we see Don Callis handing an envelope to Tully Blanchard, guess we know who ordered this beatdown. 69% overall

That was really nice of Callis to finally getting around to giving Blanchard his Valentine's card.

Segment 8: Six man tag team action, Family vs. Nightmare Family. Fairly standard six man tag affair here, again with some decent enough brawling going on since guys like Eddie Kingston and Dustin Rhodes are never afraid to throw hands. Butcher and the Blade hit the Full Death on Cody but it is narrowly broken up by Dustin before the inevitable pier six brawl breaks out. Natural Nightmares take out The Butcher at ringside, Cody recovers in the ring and gets The Blade in position for the Cross Rhodes, staring down Eddie Kingston on the rampway. Cody picks up the win for the face team. **3/4, 69% overall

I'd have figured something like this would have gotten a higher rating.

Segment 9: Interview backstage with the Young Bucks. As Scott Keith's write up says, nothing fancy, just a solid interview. They talk about Jericho and MJF taking the night off while leaving their Inner Circle mates to fight their battles, and say they're always welcome to another shot at their belts after they get past Hangman and Hardy next week. 81% overall

*GASP* They said 'belts'!!! WITCHCRAFT!!!

Segment 10: In our main event of the evening, World champion Kenny Omega faces off against Jungle Boy. Don Callis joins commentary and says he's been given assurance that Jurassic Express are banned at ringside for this one, but also ignored having anything to do with the Spears/FTR beatdown despite visual evidence to the contrary. Much as Wardlow/Mox was meant to get Wardlow over by letting him hang with a big name, that was true in this main event as well. These two definitely gelled and I could easily buy Jungle Boy getting a few convincing near-falls. FTR make their way out for the distraction, Spears chair shot in the ring, One Winged Angel, Kenny wins another match in classic heel fashion. ***1/4, 79% overall

More win in the main event segment. And just because Callis was there doesn't mean he had anything to do with it.

Segment 11: Callis and Blanchard shake hands again on the ramp before Blanchard's group leaves and Callis hands a mic to the champ. Kenny cuts an obnoxious promo, reminding everyone that he's the best wrestler in the world. His promo is soon interrupted by PAC appearing on the video monitor, still selling his beatdown from earlier. If you'd rather fight in a group, so be it...I spoke to Tony Khan and he told me that you and I will both be in Blood and Guts! Kenny is not happy about this at all and yells at Callis to do something as we go off the air. 89% overall 77% show rating

I'm sure Callis will get around to handing out some more Valentine's.

Dean Malenko informs me afterwards that Moxley and Wardlow didn't really click in their match. Then Moxley tells me he didn't really click with Wardlow. I GET IT, GOD!!!!!!

But did you remember the cover sheets on your TPS reports?!?

Eddie Kingston wants to be higher up the card, he's quietly moved all the way up to 84 overness having gained overness in most of his promo as well as his various brawls with Cody. Well shit, that does sound like Upper Midcard territory to me.

Ah, the dreaded 'move me up the card' emails. You can get away with ignoring them if they stay at one level below where they're supposed to be but if they have, like, 96 over and you still have them at midcarder they'll get really agitated.