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King K Cool
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KING OF THE RING 2002
• Seeing the big electric chair set makes me miss distinctive and elaborate PPV sets.
• So coming into the event, the bracket was as follows:
• The first match of the night is Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam which was a good match and it had some good spots too. This Release German Suplex on RVD was "pretty sick" (as the kids today would say).
I also enjoyed hearing JR actually call the moves. Split Legged Moonsault, Release German Suplex, Spinning Heel Kick, Running Bulldog, he called them all, which was so good to hear and it's actually one way how I (and I'm sure many others) managed to learn the names of moves as a kid.
I don't know how kids these days learn the names of moves as all they get from Cole & Co. is "Oh, what a move that was!". It seems like only finishing moves and sometimes signature moves are called and everything else is just referred to as "a move".
I guess the only way to learn the names of moves these days is by playing WWE games.
• The next match is Test vs Brock Lesnar and during the match, I remembered how much I disliked Nick Patrick back then, as I never liked the way he counted pins as he would always place his hand under the shoulders of whoever was getting pinned and then when he reached the count of two, he would push up their shoulders with his own hand and he did it so blatantly. He didn't even try to hide it.
Example:
Also, I never really liked his voice either. It was really rough and "gravelly" and just didn't sound real at all.
There were just times where he actually ruined some matches for me as he would give away the outcome with his pin counts. If he placed his hand under the shoulders, the match is continuing, if he didn't place his hand under the shoulders, you knew that was going to be a three count. It kinda took the surprise element out of the match.
• After the two matches, the bracket looked like this:
• Interview time and JR informs us that Marc Lloyd from SmackDown and The Coach from Raw are outside their respective brands locker rooms, ready to interview the rosters inside but he gets Marc Lloyd's name wrong and calls him Greg (Or Craig) Lloyd.
Coach goes into the Raw locker room to ask the Raw Roster who will win the final. Bubba cuts a promo saying how good Lesnar is, even though just a week or so earlier, he hated the man. That appears to have been forgotten about now.
After, Marc Lloyd is about to go inside the SmackDown locker room but Lance Storm and Christian walk out and complain about the final being an all American final when it should have been an all Canadian final. They then continue to do the usual Anti-American promo and build up to the formation of the Un-Americans.
• Cruiserweight Title Match (AKA Lawler pervs on Nidia)
Vince & Co. must have been big on Jamie Noble at the time as not even a month after his debut, he had a title match at a PPV and won.
The Hurricane makes his entrance and debuts a new mask.
I was actually looking forward to watching this match but Lawer just took all of my attention with the crazy stuff he was coming out with.
Here are eight examples:
1) This one isn't so crazy but during the match Lawler asks JR if he's ever lived in a trailer/mobile home and JR says yes which surprises Lawler who can't get his head around it. Lawler then spends the next two minutes asking JR "Really?" about four times and also asking JR how big it was. You could tell by the tone of JR's voice that he was actually proud of living in a trailer/mobile home and that it was no big deal to him.
2) A "she's a crack whore" chant starts that's directed towards Nidia and during the chant JR says that Nidia looks like that she needs a shower and the chant is short lived but after it, Lawler (of all people) says (sounding legitimately unhappy/disgusted) that he wants "everybody to disregard that unflattering chant" but then right after that he says to JR "I bet you'd like to take that shower with Nidia". JR (sounding actually a bit pissed off) says "Oh stop! She's young enough to be my daughter!" and Lawler says "You say that like it's a bad thing".
3) After seeing Nidia squat down to talk to Noble under the bottom rope, Lawler mentions he likes how Nidia squats and that she has "great balance".
4) Lawler also implies that The Hurricane has a small penis and that's why Nidia left him.
5) JR says "I'd like to focus on the in-ring performance" and the camera then focuses on Nidia to which Lawler says "I'd like to focus on that right there!" and then "Nidia will perform in the ring if you wanted her to JR".
6) Lawler says that he wishes that could have gotten The Hurricane's mask that Nidia wore over her crotch.
7) The Hurricane grabs his cape that's hanging on one of the ring posts and Nidia takes it from him. Lawler then says "I'd like to see Nidia wear nothing but that cape!".
8) Nidia distracts Hurricane by kissing him, which surprises Lalwer and he says "Come over here Nidia!" and JR says "Yeah, Uncle Jerry's looking for ya!" and Lawler's reply is "JR, you're only as old as the women you feel".
• Eddie Guerrero vs Ric Flair now and Flair's theme appears to be dubbed with some kind of knock-off James Bond theme, even though on Raw his theme isn't dubbed.
During the match, Flair had some kind of erection.
Later in the match, Flair just randomly starts bleeding even though nothing touched his forehead and he didn't blade. He actually just began bleeding out of nowhere.
Flair wins the match thanks to Bubba randomly appearing through the crowd and interfering by hitting Guerrero with a Bubba Bomb.
• Molly Holly vs Trish Stratus for the Women's Championship is next and the funny thing is, I knew the outcome (obviously) but a few days ago I was reading the title history of the Women's Championship and saw that Molly beat Trish at King of The Ring and I thought to myself "damn, spoilers", so in a way, I spoiled what I already knew.
I still enjoyed the match though but seeing Trish back then and and then seeing her now, it's such a drastic change.
Time just hasn't been her friend and it's a shame really. Molly Holly on the other hand, still looks good. Sure, you can see she has aged slightly but it's nowhere near as drastic as Trish.
• Hulk Hogan vs Kurt Angle now and during Angle's entrance we see this sign:
Lalwer thinks it says "say no to rags" but JR corrects him. Lalwer then asks "what are they talking about?" as he can't understand what it's referring to and JR helps him out.
I can see why Lawler would think it said "say no to rags" as the "u" isn't clear as for some reason, every letter on that sign is a capital letter apart from the "u" but at the same time, why would someone bring a "say no to rags" sign to a wrestling event in the first place?
Anyway, later in the match Lalwer asks if JR knows the nationality of the man Angle beat to win the Gold Medal at the 1996 Olympics and JR says Iraq and Lalwer agrees and says "that's right!" but they're both wrong as he was actually from Iran.
Abbas Jadidi is his name. There's a little "fun fact" for you.
Near the end of the match, Lalwer (for some reason) implies that older fans of Hulk Hogan can't get erections. He says "old Hulkamaniacs are like old fishermen. They can't raise their poles". After some silence, Lalwer asks JR "Get it?".
Angle wins by making Hogan tap out and even though Angle spent around five minutes during the match without his wig on as Hogan took it off of him, he still picks it up and wears it after the match.
• Backstage we see Booker T and Goldust and later, The Rock. I must have really liked Booker T and Goldust back then (and I did) as I remember all their skits (including this one) so vividly.
Goldust stole it for me with his little actions and movements and generally acting like a child whenever The Rock scolded him.
• The King of the Ring finals between Brock Lesnar and Rob Van Dam is next and I really don't remember the match being as short as it was.
It was only around five minutes or so.
• The main event now between Undertaker and Triple H for the Undisputed Championship and halfway through the match, everyone including the referee is down and The Rock makes an appearance but it's only to chase Paul Heyman away from the announce table who's been saying that Lesnar took out The Rock backstage.
The Rock reaches the announce table which makes the three women behind JR and Lawler go absolutely hysterical. They just didn't stop screaming.
Nick Patrick then enters the the ring to replace Earl Hebner and knees Hebner right in the head in the process.
In the end, The Undertaker wins with a roll-up.
• Finally, in the spirit of Nashvember, I'll end with an image of Kevin Nash from the event, sporting a T-shirt that tells us which day of Nashvember it is today.
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