[TNARICK,,,]

TNARICK: This is my proudest fantasy show series to date and it is thanks to my old partner Siakalypse that made this all possible. It is about a 3 year reunion here since we last worked together on a fantasy show. We started a couple weeks ago and would continue to bounce ideas off of each other and each time adding onto each others ideas to just make them better and better like we did before until we finally had the ultimate product. I was worried the show wouldn't get produced when his AOL messed up and I had not heard from him but now it is ready and I want you all to read it and give us your honest opinions of what you like and dislike about the show. Marty2Hotty once said "TNARICK's shows edited by someone a little more serious would make fantastic television." This is my present to Marty2Hotty and anyone who actually wants to know what a good wrestling show would be like. Again I cannot thank Siakalypse enough.. Ralph Macchio you are the man. Enjoy the read!


TNA 9 HOUR SPECIAL
COMMERCIAL FREE!

Jim Cornette comes out and introduces the new NWA Champion, Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett cuts an old-school promo, talking about how he has been around for 20 years and he has beat everybody. Jarrett starts saying he is a traditional man who represents traditional wrestling, and it's about time that a traditional company had a traditional champion. Samoa Joe comes out and says he's traditional too, and he's gonna give Jeff Jarrett a traditional ass-kicking. Vince Russo comes out to the ring and says he's got a letter from Dixie Carter that says Cornette is now fired, and that Russo is the new DOA. Russo says that Joe can have a title shot if he wants, he doesn't really care. Lance Hoyt comes out and says he wants a title shot. Russo says they can fight for it.

#1 CONTENDERS MATCH
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
LANCE HOYT VS SAMOA JOE
Hoyt and Joe battle in the ring and go through the crowd, with Joe just beating the @#%$ out of Hoyt. They battle through the crowd and into the backstage area with Joe still beating Hoyt. Out of nowhere, a car driven by Kurt Angle smashes into Christian, who is walking through the parking lot, and then smashes into Samoa Joe. Kurt Angle stumbles out drunk. He keels over and starts to puke on Samoa Joe as Hoyt regains himself. Hoyt rolls over and pins Joe to win the title shot!

WINNER: LANCE HOYT (2:00)

Hoyt walks through the backstage area and goes to the ring and picks up a mic. He says that he wants his title shot right now. He says that he wants to dedicate the match to the memory of his best friend, Mike Awesome. Jarrett comes out and says since he is traditional, he will defend his title.

NWA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
JEFF JARRETT © VS LANCE HOYT
Hoyt rolls up Jarrett as soon as he enters the ring to win the title.

WINNER AND NEW NWA CHAMPION: LANCE HOYT (0:04)

Hoyt grabs the mic and says that over the years, guys like Eddie Guererro and Chris Benoit have been winning titles, holding big men like Hoyt and Mike Awesome down. He says that technical skill and athleticism aren't all that matters. In fact, they don't matter at all. He says to all the doubters, look where Chris Benoit is now and look where Lance Hoyt is now. One's in hell and the other is the NWA Champion! Hoyt walks to the back

Erik Watts is in the back trying to talk to Russo. Russo doesnt want to talk to him. Watts begs Russo for a job, and Russo says ok. Watts begs Russo for a title match and Russo tells him to get out. Russo slams the door in Watts' face and Watts says hes gonna show everyone..

Kevin Nash is shown in the back with Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, and the rest of the X-Division. Nash says that they're all here because they want the results of the test. Nash says that this business is not a business where you can take shortcuts, and the X-Division is no exception. Nash opens up an envelope and pulls out a piece of paper. He says it's from the lab and that every single member of the X-Division tested positive for anabolic steroids. Nash opens up another envelope from Russo and says that the X-Division are hereby fired from TNA. Except Shark Boy. Nash shakes Shark Boy's hand and tells him he's been instructed by Russo to have Shark Boy get to the ring because hes earned his title shot against an opponent that Russo will choose. Shark Boy gets excited and leaves.

Shark Boy is in the ring ready for his match, when Russo's music hits. Out comes Russo from the back with a mic in his hand. He says that Lance Hoyt was inspiring, because just as Hoyt has been held down by guys like Chris Benoit and Eddie Guererro, Russo has been held back by the politics in the back for too long. Russo talks about how it happened in WCW, it happened in TNA, and it happened in WWF. Russo says that he's sick of being held down, and that's why it's gonna be SHARK BOY vs VINCE RUSSO for the X-title.. in a STEEL CAGE MATCH!

STEEL CAGE MATCH
X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
SHARK BOY VS VINCE RUSSO

The cage comes down and Russo and Shark Boy square off in the ring. Shark Boy and Russo lock up, wrasslin' style, and Shark Boy gives Russo a hiptoss. All of the sudden, Jeff Jarrett comes down! Jeff Jarrett walks around the outside of the cage with the guitar, pacing around. Tenay and West wonder what he's doing. Kevin Nash runs down from the back and starts brawling with Jarrett on the outside. Russo and Shark Boy are brawling in the ring. VKM hit the ring, followed by LAX, they start brawling. One by one the entire roster comes down to the ring. Tenay and West have no idea what's going on. LAX fights off VKM and starts shaking the cage, trying to rip the cage down. Russo and Shark Boy still going at it in the ring. Hoyt runs down with the NWA title and starts getting in on the brawl, hitting people left and right with his NWA title. Kurt stumbles down to the ringside drunk and pukes on Hoyt's NWA title! Everybody on the roster is either brawling or trying to take down the cage! Russo is in the ring taking it to Shark Boy. Erik Watts is shown up on the top of the scaffold at the Impact Zone! He has a mic in his hand and says "goodbye cruel world!" and pulls out a noose that is attached to a light. Watts jumps and tries to hang himself, but the rope breaks and Watts 20 feet to the floor below! Watts is on the floor as people start stomping him down. Tenay and West start freaking out as a light has broken from the ceiling and the roof of the impact zone is catching on fire! Russo and Sharkboy are in the ring brawling. Abyss joins trying to take down the cage and the cage starts to shake. The cage begins to fall! The four sides of the cage break apart and fall to the outside onto many of the brawling wrestlers! The rest of the wrestlers hit the ring and start brawling in the ring as the Impact Zone roof continues to burn. Two fat fireman come out from the back with a long hose and start spraying the roof and the ring. Everyone gets soaking wet as the fireman spray water all over the fire to put it out. The fireman start to walk away, but then they stop. The fireman walk down towards the ring and take off their helmets and uniforms to reveal PHI DELTA SLAM. Phi Delta gets in the ring and joins the brawl, giving Shark Boy the SAMURAI SPLASH. Shark Boy is laid out. The ref is knocked out from the brawl, and PDS starts to throw people out of the ring onto the collapsed cage. Bodies are everywhere on the outside of the ring as PDS is taken out by VKM. VKM and PDS brawl on the outside of the ring and its just Russo and Sharkboy inside the ring. Russo goes to pin Sharkboy 1...2.. Sharkboy kicks out! Tenay and West are freaking out. Shark Boy and Russo both get to their feet. Jarrett hits the ring with the guitar and LEVELS Sharkboy in the head with the guitar! Russo covers 1...2...3! Russo is the new X-Division Champ!

WINNER AND NEW X-DIVISION CHAMP: VINCE RUSSO

Russo tells everyone to head out to the back 'cause he's had enough. He says now that he's the X-Champion and the DOA, things are about to change. He says that if everyone doesnt leave to the back now, they're fired from TNA. Everyone leaves to the back, except for Erik Watts, who is knocked out by falling from the top of the building. He says you can't go around sinning, and arguing, and fighting like that. He says Vince Russo is DEAD. Things are about to get real. Russo says from now on, he'll go by his Christian name, RealVince. He says Vince Russo was a sinner. RealVince is gonna make everybody be nice, or else they will be fired. RealVince walks to the back with his X-title, stepping on Erik Watts along the way.

Kurt Angle is in the back with Jeremy Borash. Borash asks Kurt about what happened earlier with Joe. Angle is too drunk to talk and starts mumbling incoherently. Kurt turns to Borash and pukes on him and stumbles off.

Now is time for the TNA womens title match. Gail Kim comes out to the ring followed by Tracy Brooks.

TNA WOMENS TITLE
GAIL KIM VS TRACEY BROOKS

Gail Kim and Tracy Brooks face off in the ring. A couple of people in the crowd start yelling stuff at them like "show us your tits!" and "get back in the kitchen!" They start throwing trash in the ring and chanting "you suck!" at the women. The women stop wrestling and wonder whats going on. Then they start crying and run to the back.

WINNER: NONE.

It's BUCK QUARTERMAINE and LEX LOVETTE. Quartermaine gets on the mic and asks who wants to see women wrestle? He says that this is what TNA has become? Quartermaine says theres nothing more boring than womens wrestling, and that TNA has become a shell of its former self. Lovette gets on the mic and says that they're here to take over. Lovette says that during the glory days of TNA, they wouldnt let b**ches do @#%$ except suck their dicks. Team 3D come out and say that they're gonna defend the honor of Gail and Tracy.

TEAM 3D VS LEX LOVETTE & BUCK QUARTERMAINE

Team 3D runs down to the ring and starts to brawl with Lovette and Quartermain. Team 3D beats up on Lovette and tosses Quartermaine out of the ring. Team 3D waits for Lovette to get on his feet and they hit the 3D! 3D on Quartermaine! Bubba covers 1... Lovette kicks out on one and gets to his feet. Quartermaine back in the ring and they fight off Team 3D, throwing them out of the ring. ABYSS and STING come down to the ring and start brawling with Quartermaine and Lovette. Quartermaine fights off Sting and Lovette fights off Abyss. Lovette takes Abyss to the outside of the ring and smashes him on the ring steps. Lovette rips the ring steps out and throws them down on Abyss, knocking him out cold. In the ring, Quartermaine locks Sting in the SCORPION DEATHLOCK. Sting taps out! Sting taps out to the scorpion deathlock. Team 3D get back in the ring. Quartermaine ducks a clothesline and rolls up Bubba 1...2...3!

WINNERS: QUARTERMAINE & LOVETTE

Quartermaine and Lovette continue to beat down all 4 men, and RealVince comes out and tells security to get Quartermaine and Lovette out of the ring. Security comes down and grabs Lovette and Quartermaine. Security is about to take Lovette and Quartermaine out and they suddenly stop. The security turns to Sting, Abyss and Team 3D and starts beating them down! The security guards take off their black uniforms to reveal RED SHIRTS. RED SHIRT SECURITY and Lovette/Quartermaine beat down Team 3D, Sting, and Abyss! Quartermaine and Lovette take off their shirts to reveal shirts that say FSNWO.

Lovette grabs a mic and says that the FOX SPORTS NET WRESTLING OUTCASTS are gonna take over TNA once and for all. RealVince tells them to get out. FSNWO says theres nothing RealVince can do. RealVince shakes his head and walks to the back. Quartermaine says that they need to go take care of some business as FSNWO heads out through the crowd.

Samoa Joe is in the hospital with Christian. The nurse comes in and asks them if they would like to go on a hospital trip to go fishing? Joe and Christian get excited.

Lance Hoyt is in the back watching on the monitor. RealVince comes in and tells Hoyt that he needs to get out to the ring because he's got a huge announcement.

Hoyt heads out to the ring followed by RealVince. RealVince tells Hoyt that if he can't be nice and stop arguing, he's gonna make him be nice. RealVince says that he's got a major announcement, a mystery opponent that has never set foot in TNA before. RealVince says that Hoyt is gonna have to defend his title against the mystery opponent right now. The mystery opponent is.. ROB VAN DAM! RVD comes out to the ring

NWA CHAMPIONSHIP
LANCE HOYT © VS ROB VAN DAM

RVD runs into the ring and Hoyt hits him with a clothesline. Hoyt covers 1....2.....3!

WINNER: LANCE HOYT (0:05)

Hoyt grabs a mic and says that he couldnt have done it without his best friend's help, and says "I did it for you, Mikey!" Hoyt says that Hoytamania is runnin' wild and starts a Hoytamania chant. RVD is laying down in the ring and Hoyt tells RVD that he has earned his respect for giving him the toughest match of his career. Hoyt extends his hand to RVD and Hoyt shakes it and raises his hand in the air. QUARTERMAINE, LOVETTE, and THE RED SHIRTS hit the ring and Hoyt turns to RVD and gives him a BIG BOOT. The FSNWO starts stomping down on RVD and throws him out of the ring. Hoyt grabs an FSNWO shirt and puts it on. Hoyt gets on the mic and says that he's no longer gonna be known as Lance Hoyt. He says he's now gonna go by his Christian name... HOYT BENOIT. Benoit grabs his NWA title and spraypaints "FSNWO" on it. All the sudden, Jarrett hits the ring and tells Hoyt Benoit and the FSNWO that they need to get out of his ring. MATT BENTLEY hits the ring and squares off against the FSNWO. Then, he turns and hits Jarrett! MATT BENTLEY has joined the FSNWO! Chris Harris and James Storm run out to help Jarrett, but are beaten down by the FSNWO. Security hits the ring to try and clear the ring, but the security guards are TAKEN AWAY BY RED SHIRT SECURITY. Tenay and West freak out as the FSNWO clears the ring.

Erik Watts is in the parking lot sitting in his car with the ignition on and the windows rolled down. Borash runs over and asks him what he's doing. Watts says he doesnt want to live anymore. Borash tells Watts that only works if he's inside a garage or an enclosed area. Watts gets pissed and challenges Borash to a match in the ring.

Video shown earlier today of Truth and Pacman at the airport. Pacman walks through the metal detector and it sounds. Pacman is searched and a GUN is found. Pacman is arrested.

Pacman is in jail. He keeps yelling for someone to get him out. BLACK REIGN shows up and hands the bail bondsman a check and tells Pacman that he and Truth have to help him. Pacman asks with what and Reign says that they need to help him fight the man in TNA, and teach those southern hillbillies that they can't keep the black man down.

Abyss and Sting are shown sitting in a cemetary, acting creepy. Raven shows up and asks why they're sad. Sting says that he's sad because the FSNWO kicked their asses. Raven says he understands. He's sad cause he used to fight for the NWA title and now he's fat. They all act creepy together.

Samoa Joe and Christian are in the back of a van being driven by the nurse with fishing rods in the backseat with them. Joe says he needs to go to the bathroom. The nurse says there's a McDonalds up the road so they will go there. Joe says he needs to go now. The nurse says that she will help Joe in a minute when they can find a bathroom. Christian and the nurse start sniffing the air and they look to Joe. Christian complains that something smells. The nurse asks Joe what happened? Joe says he had an accident. Christian starts freaking out and the nurse says it looks like they have to go to CVS to buy some diapers for Joe.

RealVince is in the back talking with Hoyt Benoit and the FSNWO. He says that they need to cut out their antics or else he's gonna ban them. RealVince says that he's sick of all the arguing and immature fighting in TNA. Benoit says he is on Russo's side, and that during the FSN days, there was no violence or nudity or language. RealVince says that he needs the FSNWO to do him a favor.

Erik Watts comes down to the ring, followed by a scared looking Jeremy Borash.

ERIK WATTS VS JEREMY BORASH

Watts goes for a clothesline and Borash ducks and slides out of the ring to regain himself. BILL WATTS appears at the top of the ramp with a walker and Tenay and West freak out big time. "OH MY GOD, BILL WATTS, THE LIVING LEGEND IS HERE TO HELP HIS SON ERIK!" Watts inches his way down to the ramp. Borash gets scared and slides into the ring. Erik goes for another clothesline on Borash but Borash ducks and kicks Erik in the balls. He puts his foot on Erik's chest and the ref counts 1.....2......3! Borash wins!

WINNER: JEREMY BORASH (0:45)

Bill Watts is only 1/3 of the way down the ramp! Borash kicks Erik in the stomach while hes clutching his balls on the ground and heads up the ramp. Borash takes Bill Watts' walker and smashes him in the balls with the legs, knocking him down. Borash heads to the back as Bill & Erik both lay clutching their balls.

Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles are shown in the back. Daniels is telling Styles that he's too big for wrestling. Daniels says that Styles could be the next Rock and be an actor. Daniels says that he wants to take him to audition for a movie role that some of his old friends are directing. Styles reluctantly agrees.

Black Reign is hanging out with Pacman backstage and Truth comes in. Reign says it's about time that the white man learns from his mistakes. Reign asks if Pacman and Truth have his back. They say they do. Reign says he's gonna kick Hoyt Benoit's ass. Reign tells Pacman and Truth that hes gonna give Benoit a negro style asskicking. Pacman and Truth look kinda pissed but just shrug and walk off.

Rick Steiner and Scott Steiner are walking up to a building. Rick tells Scott he thinks that he's gonna like it and that it will be a nice vacation. Scott sees the sign that says "RETIREMENT HOME" and flips out on Rick, giving him a belly suplex onto the sidewalk and locking him into the steiner recliner before the security guards come out, taze him, and take him into the retirement home.

RealVince is in the back when JERRY LYNN comes in. Jerry Lynn says he respects RealVince's morals and values but he wants a shot at his X Division-title. RealVince tells him no, and that he's fired from TNA.

TRYTAN promo: HE IS COMING (FOR MORE THAN A WEEK THIS TIME)

Daniels welcomes Styles to XXX's porn studio. Styles says that he doesnt wanna be in porn, cause he is a Christian. Daniels tells Styles that this is his only chance to be a real actor. This will be his big break. Elix asks why he cant star in a vid for once? Low-Ki says that he knows why. Elix asks if this is about his small dick? Daniels says that people wanna see a black man in porn for one reason and Elix doesn't have it. Elix gets pissed and walks out. Styles says he'll do it. Daniels turns off the lights and says they're gonna go get ready.

Back in the cemetary, where Abyss, Raven, and Sting are hanging out and acting creepy. Jim Mitchell shows up and asks if he can join them, since RealVince fired him for being too satanic. They say okay. Havok is creeping around and they invite Havok to join them cause he's creepy. Havok comes and hangs out with them.

TRYTAN promo: HE IS COMING (FOR THE 9TH TIME)

Erik Watts is walking around in the back with a bottle of pills in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. Watts says "goodbye cruel world" and puts the pills in his mouth. He opens up the bottle of vodka and goes to put it in his mouth, but Kurt Angle runs up and steals it. Kurt Angle dumps the whole bottle in his mouth and all over his chest and head and turns and pukes in Erik Watts' face. Kurt passes out, knocking Watts over and landing with his head in Watts' crotch. Watts spits out the pills and starts to cry.

Tenay and West inform us that DIXIE CARTER will have a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT at the end of the night!

TRYTAN promo: HE IS COMING (AGAIN)

Joe and Christian are wheeling themselves around CVS while the nurse is walking. The nurse asks Joe what size diaper he wears, and Joe doesnt answer, he just sits in his wheelchair with his arms crossed, pouting. The nurse asks a clerk what the biggest size diaper they have is, and the clerk hands the nurse a bag. The nurse asks if they have a changing station in the bathroom and the clerk points to the bathroom. Joe says he has to go again, and the nurse hurries him into the bathroom while Christian waits outside with a sick smile on his face.

Black Reign, Truth, and Pacman hit the ring. Black Reign says that negroes have been held down in TNA by Southern whitebred hillbillies for the longest time, and it's time for a black man to step up to the plate. Reign calls out Hoyt Benoit and tells him he's gonna stick his jungle fever to Hoyt's Texas ass. Benoit comes out with the FSNWO and says that he's not getting a shot at his title. Reign says that Mike Awesome was a b**ch, and that Black Reign did his wife after the funeral. Benoit gets really pissed and starts grabbing his head like he's being possessed. Benoit says that he has been taken over by the spirit of Mike Awesome, and that Mike Awesome/Hoyt Benoit is gonna give Reign the Jim Crow treatment. Benoit says he didnt mean that, but he's still gonna kick Reign's ass.

NWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
HOYT BENOIT © VS BLACK REIGN

Hoyt Benoit and Black Reign start brawling, with Quartermaine/Lovette and Red Shirt Security taking out Killings/Pacman. Twenty seconds in, PRIME TIME runs down to the ring and hits Hoyt Benoit with a bottle of EXTENDS, the penis growing herb!! Black Reign covers Hoyt Benoit 1....2.....3! BLACK REIGN IS THE NEW NWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

WINNER AND NEW NWA CHAMPION: BLACK REIGN

After the match, Black Reign celebrates as the FSNWO/Skipper, Truth, Pacman brawl around the outside of the ring. THE ARENA GOES COMPLETELY BLACK.

The lights come back on and TRYTAN is in the ring with Black Reign. Trytan EXTENDS HIS ARM to Reign as Reign trembles in fear. Trytan T-3s Reign and covers him. REALVINCE runs down to the ring and counts 1.....2......3! TRYTAN WINS.

WINNER AND NEW NWA CHAMPION: TRYTAN

Trytan runs to the outside and starts T-3ing EVERYBODY, even accidentally T-3ing Buck Quartermaine before he realized it was his own guy. RealVince joins in on the beatdown of Reign and his crew, and gets on the mic. RealVince says that what Black Reign did here tonight was just flat out impolite, immature, and mean. RealVince says that if people won't be nice around here, he's going to make them be nice. RealVince takes off his Yankees jersey to reveal an FSNWO shirt! Russo explains himself, saying that on FSN, there was no sex, no violence, no profanity. He says that on FSN, he was the DOA and things were calm and nice. RealVince says that he's sending a MESSAGE to TNA. If you are not nice, YOU WILL BE FIRED.

RealVince, the new NWA Champion Trytan, Hoyt Benoit and the rest of the FSNWO head to the back as Black Reign's crew is laid out at ringside.

Erik Watts is in the back. RealVince walks through the curtain and asks Watts what the hell he's been doing tonight? Watts says that he doesnt want to live anymore. Russo tells him that the bible says that suicide is a sin. RealVince says he doesn't want any sinners in TNA. RealVince tells Erik Watts that he's FIRED.

AJ Styles walks into a room with camera equipment set up. Low-Ki is sitting in a director's chair and he asks if AJ's ready. AJ pauses and asks Low-Ki if this will really make him a big star? Low-Ki says it will, and asks if he's ready. AJ says "yes". Low-Ki lays out the scene and says it will start with the lights off. He says that his partner is one of the best, and that they're laying under the covers. Ki tells AJ that he will put their legs on his shoulders and put it in the butt. AJ sighs and reluctantly agrees. Ki shouts "ACTION" as Styles crawls onto the bed. Styles takes off his pants and puts the legs onto his shoulders. Under the covers AJ is shown in uncomfortable pain. AJ starts humping as Ki turns the lights on. AJ is shocked as he pulls off a blonde wig to reveal CHRISTOPHER DANIELS. Daniels is smiling as AJ freaks out and runs away.

Hoyt Benoit is in the back with Borash. He says he let Mike Awesome down. Benoit says that he and Mikey are gonna get the title back once and for all. He says he's gonna need some help from his friends Eddie, Chris, and Mike. He says he's got a plan.

TRYTAN comes back out to the ring with RealVince. RealVince said that Black Reign had a rematch clause in his contract, so he's legally obligated to give Black Reign a title shot, and Reign wants his title shot now. RealVince says the only catch is that HE is the special guest referee. Reign, Skipper, Truth, and Pacman come out from the back.

NWA CHAMPIONSHIP
TRYTAN © VS BLACK REIGN
SPECIAL REF: REALVINCE

Trytan faces off against Black Reign. Trytan EXTENDS HIS ARM. Trytan charges at Reign, and they start to brawl. Bentley, Quartermaine and Lovette run out from the back and start triple teaming Reign before Skipper, Pacman, and Truth hit the ring and start to brawl. Kevin Northcutt comes out at the top of the ramp and starts looking around for his partner Ryan Wilson. Trytan and Reign continue to brawl as the Reign/FSNWO groups brawl on the outside of the ring. Reign kicks Trytan in the balls before RealVince hits the ring with a baseball bat. RealVince goes to hit Reign, but hits TRYTAN. RealVince knocks Trytan out and Reign covers Trytan 1.....2......3!

WINNER AND NEW NWA CHAMPION: BLACK REIGN

RealVince runs to the back as the FSNWO chases after him. Northcutt is still looking for Ryan Wilson until HOYT BENOIT's music hits. Hoyt Benoit comes out at the top of the ramp with a mic and tells Black Reign that he respects him, but he wants to regain his title in honor of Mike Awesome. Benoit says that he brought some friends with him. He introduces the ghosts of Eddie Guererro, Mike Awesome, and Chris Candido come out on top of the ramp. It's actually just guys with white sheets and hoods over their head with "Eddy", "Chris", and "Mike" written on the chests. Black Reign, Truth, Elix, and Pacman cant believe what they're seeing and Benoit says he's gonna win the title for his best friend.

NWA CHAMPIONSHIP
BLACK REIGN © VS HOYT BENOIT

Hoyt and Reign brawl in the ring. The "ghosts" are on the outside, cheering for Benoit and encouraging him. Truth, Pacman, and Elix run over and start pushing the guys in hoods around, though the guys in hoods have no idea why they're mad. Truth, Pacman, and Elix start slapping around the guys until an all out brawl erupts. Benoit looks puzzled at the brawl and says that they are disrespecting the dead. Reign rolls up Benoit 1...2....3!

WINNER AND STILL NWA CHAMPION: BLACK REIGN

Benoit starts flipping out and throwing a tantrum. He gets the mic and blames the ghosts for costing him the title. He says that he wanted to make Mike proud, but Mike let HIM down! The ghosts get in the ring and take off their hoods to reveal the X-DIVISION WRESTLERS. Sabin, Shelley, and Dutt are under the masks and Dutt tells Hoyt it was just a mistake. Benoit says he knew this would happen. Benoit says Mike Awesome was always jealous of his abilities, Eddie Guererro was always jealous, and Chris Benoit was always jealous. Hoyt says that they're just trying to get back at him by putting a CURSE OF THE DEAD on him. Hoyt slides out of the ring and sprints to the back as Sabin, Dutt, and Shelley stand in the ring.

Sabin, Dutt, and Shelley take off the hoods and start doing cartwheels and backflips in the ring, pretending they're actually wrestling. RealVince comes out and says that they're fired, and they don't need any juiced up roidheads on their show. RealVince tells them to go to WWE, and says that they're sinners, so they're FIRED. The FSNWO comes out behind RealVince. RealVince sees them and runs away. The FSNWO chases him from one side of the Impact Zone to the other, with Quartermaine and Lovette staying in the ring.

Quartermaine gets on the mic and says that they're sick of the political bulls**t. Quartermaine says that they've been held down every since they got here 5 hours ago. Quartermaine says that they want a shot at the Tag Team titles. Lovette gets on the mic and calls LAX wetbacks. LAX come out.

NWA TAG TEAM TITLES
LAX © VS THE FSNWO (LOVETTE/QUARTERMAINE)

Homicide squares off against Lovette, but before they tie up, RED SHIRT SECURITY hits the ring. Kevin Northcutt grabs a mic and says that they are here with Red Shirt Border Patrol, and they've been instructed by the President to DEPORT LAX. Ryan Nelson EXTE... doesn't extend his arm, and they handcuff Homicide and Hernandez and take them away. The ref declares Lovette and Quartermaine the NEW Tag Team Champions!

WINNERS AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: LOVETTE/QUARTERMAINE

Quartermaine gets on the mic and says that they've been held down for 5 hours, and they don't want to hold anybody down. He calls out Phi Delta Slam. Phi Delta Slam come out to the ring and they stare down Quartermaine/Lovette. Quartermaine says that Phi Delta Slam are much more deserving of the tag titles than they are, and says Phi Delta Slam the tag titles. He tells the ref to raise their arms and the ref raises Phi Delta Slam's arms.

NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: PHI DELTA SLAM

AJ Styles is in the back crying. Daniels creeps up behind him and starts rubbing his chest from behind. Daniels said that he loved it when AJ put his penis in his ass. Styles tells him to get away. Daniels tells Styles he loves him. Styles acts disgusted and says that he thought Daniels was his friend. Daniels says that Styles is his friend, but he wants to @#%$ him. Styles punches Daniels in the face and they start to brawl. The closet door opens and RealVince steps out and says that homosexuality is a sin, and so Daniels will be punished. Daniels vs Styles in the ring now. RealVince says he's gotta hide from the FSNWO and gets back in the closet.

Watts is in the back kicking a can and he sees the X-Division wrestlers hanging out behind the arena in dirty coats asking for change. Watts asks what happened to them. They say that RealVince fired them. Watts says that he was fired too. Watts says that it's time for a change. Watts announces that he is running for DOA! Sabin asks him if he's got any change. Watts says he needs change for his campaign. Watts and the homeless X-Division continue to beg for change.

Daniels comes out, followed by AJ.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS VS AJ STYLES

Daniels and AJ tie up and Daniels takes him down with a suplex thing. Daniels rolls on top of AJ and starts licking him. AJ gets freaked out and runs away. Daniels wins!

WINNER: CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (0:06)

Christian and Joe are shown sitting at a McDonalds with the nurse on the way to their fishing trip. Christian steals one of Joe's nuggets and Joe gets pissed. Christian steals another nugget and Joe challenges him to a match right on the spot. Christian asks if Joe is serious. Joe says he will pin him right now. Joe tries to lunge at Christian but falls out of his wheelchair. The nurse helps him up into the chair and Joe craps in his diaper again.

The creepers are still hanging out in the cemetary. Sting is telling a story about how he used to be WCW Champion. Raven, Jim Mitchell, and Havok are building a campfire. They start hearing "oooohhhhh oooooohhhhh" and they all get creeped out. Raven says he's scared. More "oooooooohhhhs". Sting wonders where it's coming from. "oooooohhhhhhh" Mitchell says it's coming from a tombstone and tells everyone to run. Sting, Abyss, Raven, Havok, and Mitchell run away screaming. VKM pop out from behind the tombstone. BG says "Looks like we've just creeped the creepers, Kip!" and gives Kip a high five.

Phi Delta Slam are walking around with their tag team titles. PDS say they've finally reached the top. They're finally stars. Big Tilly tells Bruno that this is the greatest moment in his entire life. Out of nowhere, Sabin and Shelley AMBUSH Phi Delta Slam and STEAL the TAG TITLES.

The FSNWO are walking around the back, looking for RealVince. Daniels comes up and asks if they've seen AJ Styles? Buck says they haven't. Buck asks Daniels if he's seen RealVince? Daniels says he was hiding in a closet. The FSNWO walk off to find RealVince and open up one of the doors to find Black Reign, Truth, Pacman, and Elix smoking weed. They open up another closet to find Kurt Angle passed out. They go to open up the third closet, finding RYAN WILSON. Northcutt asks Wilson why he keeps disappearing? Wilson says he doesn't know and says he's got something to do and walks off. Bentley tells Northcutt he thinks Wilson is up to something..

Christian and Joe are driving with the nurse

Scott Steiner is in the retirement center, playing chess with an old guy. Steiner gets checkmated, and flips out. He grabs the old guy and starts choking him before a nurse tries to peel him off. Steiner feels the nurse's tits and grabs her ass and says he's going to find some valium.

Chris Harris and James Storm are walking around outside. Borash asks what they're doing and they say that they're guarding the border from any potential aliens that come in. Kevin Northcutt comes up to them and says that that's Red Shirt Border Patrol's job. Harris asks where his partner is, cause he heard that his partner is working with RealVince? Northcutt tells them they are liars. Harris is saying that's just what he heard. Storm says he's got another bone to pick and walks off to the ring.

James Storm comes out to the ring with a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand. Storm grabs the mic and stumbles around a little bit and says that he has a bone to pick with Kurt Angle. Storm says just cause Kurt gets a DUI, mows down a couple of top stars, pukes all the time, and passes out in a closet, he thinks hes the big drunk in town. Storm says that nobody is drunker than him, and he wants to end the speculation once and for all. Storm challenges Angle to a FIRST MAN STANDING match, where the first man to pass out wins. Angle stumbles out to the ring, being held up by Karen. Storm chugs his bottle of Jack Daniels and Harris runs out with another bottle and hands it to Storm. Storm chugs the other bottle and the bell is rung.

FIRST MAN STANDING MATCH
KURT ANGLE VS JAMES STORM

Kurt grabs a bottle of vodka from Karen and starts to chug it. James Storm opens up his third bottle and starts to chug it. Angle starts stumbling around, and Storm starts puking in the ring. Storm starts stumbling around before Harris slides into the ring and dumps more Jack down Storm's throat. Karen tries to get more vodka down Kurt's throat, but Kurt pukes all over her dress/boobs and falls back onto the ringpost. Harris pours more Jack down Storm's throat and Storm falls to the mat. Kurt falls from the corner onto the mat a second later. It is unclear who won. Harris says Storm won, Karen says Kurt won. Harris asks Tenay to show an instant replay. Instant replay slow motion shows James Storm hitting the mat just before Angle. JAMES STORM WINS.

WINNER AND DRUNKEST MAN IN TNA: JAMES STORM

Erik Watts is in the back with the X-Division wrestlers asking for change. Sabin and Shelley run up with the tag team titles and say they're gonna go to a pawn shop and sell them. Watts asks if he can have some for his campaign, and they agree. They all head down to the pawn shop.

Trytan is walking around in the back. Quartermaine/Lovette/Bentley/Northcutt ask where he's been? Northcutt says he thinks that they have a rat in the ranks. Quartermaine asks who, and Northcutt says it's Ryan Wilson. Trytan EXTENDS HIS ARM and shakes his head "no". Northcutt says he's been acting weird all night and disappearing and hiding in a closet. Something is up. Trytan looks worried.

Tenay hypes up the fact that TNA President DIXIE CARTER will be here at the end of the show for a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.

RealVince is in the back outside of his closet. Black Reign and his crew come up. RealVince says that he needs protection from the FSNWO since he helped Reign win the title earlier. Reign says that he ain't helpin' no cracker. Russo says that Reign better get to the ring because hes gonna defend the title against PACMAN. Pacman looks confused and Reign looks angry as Reign refuses. RealVince says he's fired then. Reign says he can't be fired, he's the NWA Champion. RealVince says he's stripped of the title and he's fired. RealVince asks Pacman if he wants to be fired, Pacman says no. RealVince says Pacman can be champion then.

NEW NWA CHAMPION: PACMAN

Pacman celebrates as Black Reign gets angry and tells him he sold out his heritage for a piece of gold. Truth and Elix follow Reign out the door. RealVince says he takes it back, Pacman is fired and takes his NWA title.

Hoyt Benoit is walking around the cemetary looking for Sting, Havok, Raven, Abyss, and Mitchell. VKM are hanging out and Benoit asks them if they know where the Creepers are. VKM say they scared them off. Hoyt says there's no way that he can get the curse of the dead removed now. Kip says that Benoit is in the right place, 'cause they are the VOODOO kin mafia. BG says that he is an expert at ancient curses, and pulls out "the ancient book of the dead" and reads a passage. Kip puts his hand on Hoyt's head and BG asks if Kip will remove the spirits. Kip says he will. BG asks Hoyt if he will let the spirits exit his body. Hoyt says he will. BG says "I now pronounce you MAN AND WIFE." Tenay freaks out "HOYT BENOIT AND KIP JAMES ARE MARRIED." Christopher Daniels drops down mysteriously and tells Kip he doesn't know what he's missing out on. Daniels says he never loved AJ, he always loved Kip. Kip says that it's too late. Hoyt doesn't know what's going on.

Sabin, Shelley, Dutt, and Erik Watts are at the pawn shop. Sabin puts the titles up and says they're real gold. The clerk says he will give them $7.00 for it. The X-wrestlers get excited and high five each other, while Watts looks sad.

Christian, the nurse, and Joe arrive at the lake. Joe says theres two things he loves in life, wearing a diaper and fishing, and it's a good day when you get to do both. The nurse wheels Christian and Joe out onto the boat.

Ryan Wilson is in the back, when the FSNWO confronts him. Bentley asks him what he's been up to all night? Wilson says he doesn't know what he's talking about. Bentley says to prove his loyalty to the FSNWO, Wilson needs to get to the ring and kick Eric Young's ass.

Eric Young is in the ring waiting for his match, when Ryan Wilson comes down with the FSNWO at ringside.

RYAN WILSON VS ERIC YOUNG

Wilson and Young tie up and Young throws Wilson down. Wilson gets mad and charges at Young. Young moves out of the way and throws Wilson into the corner. Young rolls up Wilson 1.....2......3!

WINNER: ERIC YOUNG

The FSNWO look on angerly as Wilson runs over to a fan at ringside and grabs their sunglasses. The FSNWO go crazy when Wilson puts on THE SUNGLASSES, EXTENDS HIS ARM, AND GIVES ERIC YOUNG THE T-3. Tenay starts going nuts: "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, DON. RYAN WILSON IS TRYTAN!!" The FSNWO celebrate and bow down to Trytan as Trytan EXTENDS HIS ARM.

RealVince is in the back with Borash and says this has gotta end once and for all. RealVince says he is heading out to the ring now to finally end this.

The X-Division are shown splitting up the $7.00. Sabin calls Watts over and says he thinks Shelley and Dutt are working together to steal the money. Watts says "no, it can't be." Shelley says that they need to make sure that doesn't happen. Watts says that he could run his whole campaign on $3.50. Sabin says it could buy a quarter pounder with cheese. Sabin and Watts move in to take the money before Sabin TURNS AND HITS Watts. Dutt turns and starts beating down Shelley before Sabin and Dutt take the $7.00. Sabin grabs a coffee can that he was using to beg for change with and HITS DUTT in the head. Sabin grabs the $7.00 and runs off.

RealVince hits the ring with a mic in his hand. He says that he's had enough of this. He came in here to try and make everybody be nice, but that's not gonna happen, so he's gonna have to do things his way. He says all night, everybody's been arguing, fighting, and being rude. He says the FSNWO are out of control, and he's gonna bring in the troops to take over. RealVince rips off his shirt to reveal a ROG: RING OF GLORY shirt. He calls out his ROG troops. Nobody comes out. He calls out his ROG troops again, but again nobody comes out. The FSNWO come out and surround RealVince, until DIXIE CARTER comes out. Dixie walks out onto the ramp with a mic in her hand and says she's got a major announcement that will shake the foundations of wrestling forever.

Erik Watts comes out to the ring and asks Dixie if she will hear him out. Watts says he wants to be DOA. Watts says he has some great ideas and would be a great DOA. Dixie agrees and Watts says he will bring back the tag team titles, and work to push the X-Division back to its original level. He says he will bring in exciting new faces like RVD and Sabu and give Abyss a well earned World Title Shot. He says Samoa Joe will return to being a badass. He says he's concerned about Kurt Angle, so he will send Kurt away to rehab for a few months. Maybe a comedy tag team with Eric Young and Sharkboy. Watts says you can't blow your load all at once, you need to have a build. Watts says that he won't do anything his first week, but his second week, he will introduce a gradual build and swerves in the future, because Watts believes in the long term. TNA needs to make themselves different from the WWE, a healthy mix of wrestling and entertainment. Watts says that TNA is as good as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but if he were in charge, they'd be as good as Drake and Josh. Watts says that TNA could have a wide fanbase, not just John Goodman look alikes and their jabba-the-hut looking wives. Watts tells Dixie he's ready. Dixie thinks about it and asks the fans what they think. Dixie turns to Watts and tells him to get the hell out, he's FIRED. Dixie then goes on to her major announcement, which is that starting next week, TNA will be broadcast WORLDWIDE on FOX SPORTS NET on FRIDAYS AT 3:00 PM! Tenay and West go bezerk, with West screaming "THIS IS WHAT WE'VE WORKED FOR FOR FIVE YEARS, MIKE! FIVE YEARS!" The FSNWO is shown dismantling the TNA banners and spraypainting FSN on everything at ringside.

Samoa Joe, Christian, and the nurse are on the boat fishing. Joe casts his line and says he thinks hes got a catch. Joe starts tugging on the rod and his wheelchair starts to roll toward the edge of the boat. The nurse tries to grab him but Joe's wheelchair rolls into the water. Joe screams for help and his diaper comes off and floats to the surface. Joe says he doesn't know how to swim! Suddenly, Joe is grabbed by two men swimming across the lake! It's THE LAX. The LAX pull Joe to the edge of the boat and push him over into the boat. Unfortunately, Joe is so fat that he collapses a hole in the side of the boat. The boat starts sinking. The nurse is screaming for help and LAX are trying to figure out what to do while swimming in the water. Suddenly the BOAT RISES UP OUT OF THE WATER AND MAKES ITS WAY TOWARDS SHORE. LAX are swimming along side the boat as the boat makes its way towards shore. The boat finally lands on shore followed by LAX. SHARK BOY comes out from under the boat. Joe thanks Shark Boy for saving him. Out of nowhere, Chris Harris and James Storm appear to arrest LAX. RED SHIRTS. The Red Shirts show up and say that THEY'RE gonna arrest LAX.
RED SHIRTS and AMW battle it out on the shore as LAX starts sneaking away. AMW and RED SHIRTS are brawling and it seems like LAX is on a clean break until PHI DELTA SLAM stops them. PDS pulls out handcuffs and says they have been appointed by Dixie Carter and President George W. Bush as the OFFICIAL BORDER PATROL GUARDS. LAX is arrested and Samoa Joe, Christian, and the nurse wave goodbye to Shark Boy as he swims away in the ocean.

Back in the ring, TOMKO's music hits. Tomko comes down to the ring and sees the FSNWO spraypaint everywhere, Kurt Angle's puke, Hoytamania flyers, white sheets, and empty beer bottles, pills, water and the collapsed cage fragments from earlier. He starts looking around, confused.. He grabs a mic. "What happened? My flight got delayed. Did I miss my match? I was supposed to face Chris Harris. " Tomko just looks around. "I AM THE NEW NWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION"

NEW NWA CHAMPION: TOMKO.


THE END