[Innovator]

Rex Ryan Has Some Advice for His Kicker BY DJ GALLO / DECEMBER 22, 2010 Rex Ryan Hey, Nick. Good to see you. How you doin’? Nick Folk Good, coach. What’s up? Rex Ryan Well, son, it’s my job to always improve this team and I’ve thought of an idea that can help you. Nick Folk Great! Let’s hear it. Rex Ryan Well, you have a very strong foot, right? Nick Folk I guess so. And thanks for the compliment. Rex Ryan Sure thing. But how strong is it really? Do you know that I’ve never seen your foot? And I mean your bare foot. I bet it’s very muscular, isn’t it? And I bet it’s all glistening with sweat, too. Isn’t it? Nick Folk Sure, I suppose. I mean, as feet go, it’s probably more muscular than most. Rex Ryan Oh, baby. Nick, can you take your shoes off for me right now? Socks, too. Nick Folk Okay. [He removes his shoes and socks.] Rex Ryan Ohmigod. Ohmigod. They’re so hot. Nick Folk Uh, thanks. But, coach? Umm … I don’t know how to say this, but your erection is kind of bothering me. Rex Ryan It’s an erect penis, son. I’m wearing sweatpants. There’s nowhere else for it to go. We’re men here, Nick. We’re a team of men. If you have a problem with penises, then you don’t belong on this team. Nick Folk No, no, no. I’m not saying that. Just … never mind. Rex Ryan Good then. Okay, so I’m now going to rub my penis along the base of your toes until I achieve orgasm. Nick Folk What?! No! What the hell, man? No way! You’re a freaking weirdo. Rex Ryan I am not a weirdo. This is a personal issue. Nick Folk Okay. Just … whatever. I’m going to leave now. What did you call me over here for anyway? Rex Ryan I wondered if you had ever considered kicking barefoot. Nick Folk I tried that once. I didn’t like it. Rex Ryan And I also wanted to have sex with your feet. Nick Folk Yeah. I know. I’m going to leave now. Rex Ryan Okay, can you just call Mark over for me? Nick Folk Sure. [He walks away towards Mark Sanchez.] Nick Folk Hey, Mark. Coach wants to see you. Mark Sanchez Okay. I’ll be right there. Did he say what he wants? Nick Folk No. Mark Sanchez He probably just wants to have sex with my feet again. I guess I better take my shoes off.