[Evil Vito]

ECW Hardcore TV - May 27, 2008

Edge and Randy Orton are out first to explain their actions from last week. They are both bitter that they not only came out on the short end of the stick in the ECW Television Title tournament at One Night Stand, but they feel their talents are being wasted and they are worthy of ECW Title contention instead. CM Punk and Rob Van Dam rush out of the back with chairs, the same chairs that Rated RKO beat them with last week. Edge and Orton quickly leave the ring.

Paul Heyman, sensing possible ratings gold here, announces that in tonight's main event we will see CM Punk and Rob Van Dam team up once again, this time to face Edge and Randy Orton in tag team action.

LOL are you kidding me...for the second straight night, I have a non-clicking show. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly put their team aside and put on an absolutely shitty match that not even the crowd gives a fuck about. Holly wins with an Alabama Slam. Rhodes recovers, and tries to get a handshake out of Holly, but Holly just shakes his head and walks off, apparently feeling that the rookie Rhodes has more to learn.

"The Big Red Machine" Kane is out next, taking on a very game Lance Cade. Lance provided far more of a challenge than Balls Mahoney did the previous week. Kane gets Lance in a chokeslam grip, as Trevor Murdoch jumps up on the apron. Kane boots him off while retaining his grip on Cade...chokeslam, pinfall, Kane wins.

Three straight match segments? You bet. The pompous Sir Charles Palumbo has a tough task at hand, squaring off against "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer. Palumbo whips out spinebusters, neckbreakers, and apparently even a piledriver, but it isn't enough to keep the ECW legend down. Dreamer hoists Palumbo up and plants him with a Spicolli Driver! Tommy Dreamer wins.

The Sandman celebrates Dreamer's victory in the ring with...what else...beer. Sandman grabs a mic and delivers a promo to hype up ECW and the extreme lifestyle. However, he must already be drunk as the promo only scores a 75%.

Now we go backstage for another promo with ECW Tag Team champions Deuce 'n Domino. They claim they had Punk and RVD beaten last week were it not for the outside interference. However, tonight, it's not about tag action...as Domino has solo action up next as he looks to take Val Venis to school. OHHH!!!

Val Venis is apparently now suddenly a tweener somehow ()...bookers must have decided they had entirely too many heels in the midcard. Anyway, Domino and Venis put on a pretty good match. Val stuns Domino with a few clotheslines and a punch in the face, staggering him. Val shoots off...the ropes and Deuce grabs his foot. Val turns around and yells at Deuce, and finds himself rolled up by Domino for the three count. Deuce re-enters the ring as Domino sits Val up and holds his head...Deuce charges off the ropes...Crack 'em in the Mouth! The Tag Team champions leave on a winning note tonight.

Carlito and Paul Burchill continue this action-packed edition of ECW by working a singles match. Once again, thanks to the show not clicking, this nets a mere 68% overall rating despite the reaction and quality both being 77%. Anyway, Carlito gets his second victory in as many weeks, finishing Burchill off with the painful Backstabber.

Much like last week, Carlito demands a microphone after his match and makes the same point he made last week. A new wave will be coming to ECW, and dat's cool! What does Carlito mean?

And my main event would have scored in the 90s...not that I'm bitter or anything. But regardless, Rated RKO and CM Punk/Rob Van Dam put on a great match. RVD gets the Ricky Morton role this week instead of Punk. They sort of just go through the motions...basic tag wrestling but still entertaining. Punk gets the hot tag, cleans house, all four men wind up in the ring, and Edge spears his own partner in the commotion. Edge and RVD wind up outside, Punk lifts up Orton for the GTS! Punk and Orton win! Edge takes exception and grabs a chair again and lays out RVD and Punk with it after the match. Orton recovers and sets up a table in the corner, laying RVD in front of it. Spear through the table! Another table is set up, RKO to Punk through the table! Edge and Randy Orton may have lost the battle, but they certainly aren't losing the war.

---

After getting the upper hand for a second straight week, can Edge and Randy Orton be denied? Will any light be shed on the "new wave" Carlito says will be coming to ECW? Will the show not click yet again? Find out next week!