DECEMBER 28 - ARMAGEDDON
Here's an idea of just how stacked this card is. The
preshow match is Hell In A Cell! Undertaker and Big Show have been going at it for the better part of four months now, and tonight they will finally end their bitter rivalry inside a match that was custom-made for Undertaker.
Hell In A Cell - Undertaker vs. Big Show
Show walks into a slam. Show kicks Undertaker in the gut to reverse the momentum. Hilariously weak brawling from Show. Uninspiring brawling from Big Show. Undertaker takes a weak clothesline. Undertaker ducks a clothesline attempt. Show walks into a slam. Powerbomb on Show. Thrown slam by Undertaker. Big Show powers out of a Undertaker headlock. Big Show punches away at Undertaker. Slam from Show on Undertaker. Undertaker can barely stand. Show Stopper! 1....2....3.
Overall Rating: 65% (Fucking dud shows!!!)
Crowd Reaction: 82%
Match Quality: 55%
Up next is the culmination of another months-long feud. Booker T and Chris Jericho have done everything in their power to make each others' lives miserable, including costing each other shots at the Intercontinental Title. Tonight, one man will climb the ladder of success for a World Title shot at Royal Rumble. The other gets to rethink his life.
Ladder Match for a World Title Match at Royal Rumble - Booker T vs. Chris Jericho
Jericho gets slammed hard onto the ladder. Massive backbreaker, Jericho got planted. Booker walks into a trip. Standing kicky thing by Chris Jericho on Booker. Hard back suplex on Booker. Ladder assisted standing moonsault, Booker gets floored. Kick by Chris Jericho...to the facial regions. Break that nose! Yeah! Chris Jericho misses a clothesline. Booker T hits a bulldog off the ropes. Spear! Jericho is down. Running knee lift from Booker T. Jericho gets slammed hard onto the ladder. Chris Jericho fights out of a grapple. Chris Jericho hits a rolling kick on Booker. Running knee to the face on Booker, Jericho is God for doing such a stupidly dangerous move!!! Chris Jericho has Booker T down on the canvas. Here it comes...Walls of Jericho! Booker T is almost unconscious with pain! Chris Jericho climbs the ladder and grabs the prize for the win.
Overall Rating: 64% (Fucking dud shows!!!)
Crowd Reaction: 77%
Match Quality: 63%
Over the last seven weeks, a tournament was held to determine a new Intercontinental Champion after Randy Orton injured his neck at a house show. Tonight, the two men who have outlasted 28 others go one-on-one for the gold!
Intercontinental Title Tournament Final - Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Hardy Version 1.0
Matt Hardy Version 1.0 scores with a back heel kick on RVD. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 scores with a back heel kick on RVD. Legsweep. There's probably a Japanese name for that....like Golden Dragon Nuclear Spike....that'll do, i'll call it that from now on. Matt hits a dropkick on Rob Van Dam. RVD backdrops Matt Hardy Version 1.0 out of a piledriver attempt. RVD uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Super kick by Rob Van Dam. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Matt counters a backdrop with a kick to the face. Weird kick by Matt on RVD. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Back heel kick off the second rope, RVD goes down. 1 - 2 - kick out before the 3. RVD pushes out of a Matt Hardy Version 1.0 hold. Kick from Rob Van Dam...to the leg! Oh the humanity! Matt Hardy Version 1.0 powers out of a Rob Van Dam headlock. RVD eats a suplex like a fat man eating a waffle. Man i could use a waffle right about now. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 moves in for the kill. Twist Of Fate!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!!
Overall Rating: 67% (Fucking dud shows!!!)
Crowd Reaction: 73%
Match Quality: 77%
Ever since winning the World Title from Triple H at Unforgiven, The Rock has had to contend with The Game's thirst for revenge. Tonight, the gold will go to whoever is the Last Man Standing.
Last Man Standing Match for the World Title - The Rock (c) vs. Triple H
Weak headbutt on Rock by HHH. The Rock reverses a hip toss. Chair shot. HHH walks into a slammy shoulder thing. Triple H is in trouble. Here it comes - Rock Bottom. The referee counts to 10, this match is over! The Rock goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory
Overall Rating: 69% (Fucking dud shows!!!)
Crowd Reaction: 83%
Match Quality: 64% (That's being pretty generous
)
Just a couple of weeks ago, Eddie Guerrero upset Big Show for the United States Title (thanks to a little help from Undertaker), which made the stakes for tonight's Cage Match against his nephew Chavo that much higher. Tonight, bad blood finally gets settled, and - more than likely - will be spilt.
Cage Match for the United States Title - Eddie Guerrero (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero
Chavo Guerrero throws Eddie into the cage. Chavo crushes Eddie with a running butt smash...nothing says 'killer move' like driving your ass into someone else's face. Eddie Guerrero takes the advantage with a punch to the face. Eddie Guerrero strikes Chavo. Kick by Eddie Guerrero...to the facial regions. Break that nose! Yeah! Eddie Guerrero drives Chavo into the cage side. Second rope flying axe handle, Chavo goes down. Eddie Guerrero and Chavo climb the cage....but both end up crashing back to the canvas after a struggle! Chavo backdrops Eddie Guerrero out of a piledriver attempt. Weird kick by Chavo on Eddie. DDT from the top rope by Chavo Guerrero....holy crap, that was sweet. Chavo hits a dropkick on Eddie Guerrero. Chavo Guerrero launches Eddie into the cage wall. Eddie Guerrero reverses a hip toss. Kick by Eddie Guerrero...to the facial regions. Break that nose! Yeah! Cool looking suplex on Chavo. Eddie Guerrero has Chavo Guerrero down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Frog Splash hit hard. Eddie Guerrero and Chavo climb the cage....until Chavo Guerrero gets knocked off by a right hand! Eddie climbs over the top for the win!
Overall Rating: 83% (HA! Eat it, EWR!)
Crowd Reaction: 89%
Match Quality: 97%
Over the last several weeks, Christian has taunted Shawn Michaels, even going so far as to assault him after HBK lost to Rob Van Dam in the IC tournament semis. Tonight, the two finally go one-on-one.
Shawn Michaels vs. Christian
Hard legsweep by Christian. Shawn Michaels gets nailed with a suplex. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. HBK counters a backdrop with a kick to the face. Shawn Michaels strikes Christian. Shawn Michaels hits a rolling kick on Christian. 1 - 2 - kick out. Brutal suplex on Christian. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Shawn Michaels hits a rolling kick on Christian. Christian counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Brainbuster suplex by Christian. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Lariat, apparently Christian thinks he is Stan Hansen. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Christian snap suplexes HBK. Back suplex on HBK. HBK blocks a suplex attempt using the power of gravity. Back elbow connects, Christian staggers backward. Spear! Christian is down. Christian is in trouble. Sweet Chin Music! 1....2....3.
Overall Rating: 73%
Crowd Reaction: 82%
Match Quality: 83%
For six weeks, Chris Benoit and Rey Mysterio have traded victories in their best-of-seven series. Tonight's winner will go on to the Royal Rumble to challenge for the WWE Title!
WWE Title #1 Contender Match - Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio
Spinny weird kick from Rey Mysterio. Benoit walks into a high dropkick from Rey Mysterio. Rey uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Second rope flying axe handle, Benoit goes down. Benoit ducks a wild right hand. Rey eats a suplex like a fat man eating a waffle. Man i could use a waffle right about now. T-Bone suplex by Benoit, Rey got folded in half. 1 - 2 - kick out. Rey gets out the back of a Chris Benoit bodyslam attempt. Rey crushes Benoit with a running butt smash...nothing says 'killer move' like driving your ass into someone else's face. 1 - 2 - kick out. DDT from the top rope by Rey Mysterio....holy crap, that was sweet. 1 - 2 - kick out before the 3. Chris Benoit fights out of a grapple. Armbar takedown from Chris Benoit, boring me senseless. Rey Mysterio pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Rey Mysterio hits a rolling kick on Benoit. Rey Mysterio moves in for the kill. 6-1-9! 1....2....3. Chris Benoit offers a handshake to Rey...and he accepts it!
Overall Rating: 66% (Fucking dud shows!!!)
Crowd Reaction: 74%
Match Quality: 75%
Probably the most bitter feud in all of World Wrestling Entertainment has been the one between John Cena and Sean O'Haire. These two men have done everything in their power to destroy each other all fall and into the winter. Tonight, the man who draws First Blood will finally be able to end this rivalry on top.
First Blood Match - John Cena vs. Sean O'Haire
O'Haire slams John Cena. Thrown slam by Sean O'Haire. Flying shoulder tackle by O'Haire sends Cena to the mat. Cena ducks a wild right hand. Cena hits a piledriver on Sean O'Haire. Sean O'Haire elbows John Cena in the face to break a hammerlock. Sean O'Haire hits a bulldog off the ropes. Powerbomb on Cena. Sean O'Haire gets taken down out of nowhere. O'Haire takes a headbutt from John Cena. O'Haire kicks John Cena in the gut to reverse the momentum. Running knee lift from Sean O'Haire. O'Haire picks up a lead pipe. John Cena turns around...and gets smashed over the head with it! The referee sees blood, and this match is over!
Overall Rating: 77%
Crowd Reaction: 90%
Match Quality: 79%
And tonight's main event is the culmination of the months-long feud between Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle for Lesnar's WWE Title. Angle has come so close so many times, but always falls just a bit short. Tonight, he gets one last shot in an Iron Man Match!
Iron Man Match for the WWE Title - Kurt Angle vs Brock Lesnar (c)
FIRST FALL: Lesnar eats a suplex like a fat man eating a waffle. Man i could use a waffle right about now. Spear by Kurt Angle. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Brock Lesnar, like so many teenage boys, uses a right hand. Except in this case, it's for a punch. Brock Lesnar hits some punches. Rude Awakening on Kurt Angle by Lesnar. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Spear! Angle is down. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Lesnar slams Kurt Angle down. Lesnar only gets knees on a splash. Lesnar walks into a lariat. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Kurt Angle scores with a standing spinebuster. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Kurt Angle snap suplexes Lesnar. Suplex by Angle. Lesnar ducks a wild right hand. Back elbow connects, Angle staggers backward. Lifting DDT by Brock Lesnar. 1 - 2 - 3. Lesnar defeats Angle. SECOND FALL: Back suplex on Angle. Suplex by Lesnar. Running knee lift from Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar with a spinning neckbreaker on Angle. Lesnar only gets knees on a splash. Angle slams Brock Lesnar down. Variation of the powerbomb by Kurt Angle, it probably has a cool name...but i don't know it. Let's call it a Moon Lion Driver, or some other weird ass name. 1 - 2 - kick out. Brock Lesnar, like so many teenage boys, uses a right hand. Except in this case, it's for a punch. Spear by Brock Lesnar. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Brock Lesnar scores with a standing spinebuster. 1 - 2 - kick out before the 3. Angle counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Lesnar gets floored with a brutal elbow to the jaw by Angle...that's more like it, VIOLENCE RULES. 1 - 2 - 3. Kurt Angle pins Lesnar. THIRD FALL: Suplex by Brock Lesnar, Angle landed on his ass...heh. Kurt Angle reverses a hip toss. Angle slams Brock Lesnar. The referee bumps after catching a wild right hand and is down. Fast lariat by Angle, Lesnar never saw it coming! Sucker! Pinfall attempt, but the ref is still down. Lesnar kicks Kurt Angle in the gut to reverse the momentum. Big backdrop on Angle, executed well. Angle walks into a slam. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Angle gets hit with a wicked powerbomb thing out of the corner. 1 - 2 - kick out before the 3. Angle gets out the back of a Brock Lesnar bodyslam attempt. Big piledriver on Lesnar. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Brock Lesnar takes the advantage with a punch to the face. Kurt Angle is in trouble. F5! 1....2....3. END OF BOUT.
Overall Rating: 71%
Crowd Reaction: 85%
Match Quality: 68%