[loopydate]

November 16, 2003 - Survivor Series

Tonight, every active member of the WWE roster will be competing in ten-man (or woman) elimination matches, with the exception of our Sunday Night Heat featured bout, a 20-man over-the-top rope battle royal!

20-Man Battle Royal

Billy takes a vertical suplex. Billy Gunn got bundled out by Nowinski. (Elimination # 1) Storm takes a kick to the chest, and staggers back...like a drunk at 2am...hell, like ME at 2am in the morning. Lance Storm was eliminated by Conway. (Elimination # 2) Val Venis hits some punches. Rodney Mack got eliminated by Venis. (Elimination # 3) Chris Kanyon takes a right hand to the temple from Nowinski. Chris Kanyon got thrown over the top rope by Nowinski. (Elimination # 4) Weak headbutt on Danny by Dupree. Dupree slams Danny Basham down. Conway takes a kick. Rob Conway was eliminated by Grenier. (Elimination # 5) Maven snap suplexes Venis. Val Venis got thrown over the top rope by Maven. (Elimination # 6) Big clothesline on Haas. Shelton tried to eliminate Charlie Haas, who hung onto the top rope. I guess he was well hung. Bwahahahaa. Doug Basham takes a right hand to the temple from Nowinski. Nowinski tried to eliminate Doug Basham, who hung onto the top rope. I guess he was well hung. Bwahahahaa. Charlie Haas strikes Rikishi. Rikishi was eliminated by Haas. (Elimination # 7) Big clothesline from Henry. Henry went for the elimination, but Shelton Benjamin held onto the ropes. Rene Dupree hits a right hand on Rosey. Rene Dupree scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Boss Man takes a right hand to the temple from Nowinski. Big kick from Nowinski. Legsweep. There's probably a Japanese name for that....like Golden Dragon Nuclear Spike....that'll do, i'll call it that from now on. Nova tried to eliminate Shelton Benjamin, who hung onto the top rope. I guess he was well hung. Bwahahahaa. Nova scores with a back heel kick on Stevie. Stevie Richards was eliminated by Nova. (Elimination # 8) Doug Basham with a spinning neckbreaker on Danny. Basham threw Danny Basham over the top rope like a common Pygmy. (Elimination # 9) Nova hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. DDT from the top rope by Nova....holy crap, that was sweet. Nowinski slams Mark Henry down. Mark Henry got thrown over the top rope by Nowinski. (Elimination # 10) Dupree strikes away at Rosey. Rosey got bundled out by Dupree. (Elimination # 11) Weak headbutt on Basham by Dupree. Doug Basham got eliminated by Dupree. (Elimination # 12) Nowinski strikes away at Boss Man. Boss Man got eliminated by Nowinski. (Elimination # 13) Shelton Benjamin hits a bulldog off the ropes. Shelton went for the elimination, but Chris Nowinski held onto the ropes. Sylvan Grenier strikes Charlie Haas. Grenier tried to eliminate Charlie Haas, who hung onto the top rope. I guess he was well hung. Bwahahahaa. Shelton hits a right hand. Rene Dupree got thrown over the top rope by Shelton. (Elimination # 14) Chris Nowinski strikes Charlie Haas. Nowinski tried to eliminate Charlie Haas, who hung onto the top rope. I guess he was well hung. Bwahahahaa. Armbar takedown from Charlie Haas, boring me senseless. Haas went for the elimination, but Shelton Benjamin held onto the ropes. Nova receives some unexciting punishment. I'm not sure this stuff is watchable without alcohol...and i don't feel like finding out. Nova got thrown over the top rope by Grenier. (Elimination # 15) Chris Nowinski uses a neckbreaker on Shelton. Shelton Benjamin takes a right hand to the temple from Nowinski. Terrible brawling from Sylvan Grenier. Grenier DDTs Chris Nowinski. Charlie Haas snap suplexes Maven. Maven got bundled out by Haas. (Elimination # 16) Weak bodyslam on Nowinski by Grenier. Grenier strikes away at Chris Nowinski. Haas hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Sylvan Grenier got thrown over the top rope by Haas. (Elimination # 17) Charlie Haas hits a delayed suplex on Shelton. Haas went for the elimination, but Shelton Benjamin held onto the ropes. Big backdrop on Nowinski, executed well. Chris Nowinski got bundled out by Shelton. (Elimination # 18) Back suplex on Haas. Flying shoulder tackle by Shelton sends Haas to the mat. Charlie Haas is in trouble. Super Kick! Charlie Haas got thrown over the top rope by Shelton.

Overall Rating: 65%
Crowd Reaction: 66%
Match Quality: 65%

The WWE Cruiserweight division is on display as the pay-per-view kicks off as nine SmackDown! cruiserweights and one from RAW compete in our first elimination contest.

Survivor Series Match - Jamie Noble, Paul London, Scotty 2 Hotty, Shannon Moore, and Ultimo Dragon vs. Akio, Carlito, Rico, Sakoda, and Tajiri

First Fall : Jamie Noble scores with a back heel kick on Sakoda. Flying elbow from Jamie Noble. 1 - 2 - kick out. Noble walks into a trip. Sakoda brings out a jumping powerbomb to nearly kill Noble!! That was incredibly brutal, i LOVE that move. 1 - 2 - kick out before the 3. Jamie Noble elbows Sakoda in the face to break a hammerlock. Noble crushes Sakoda with a running butt smash...nothing says 'killer move' like driving your ass into someone else's face. 1 - 2 - 3. Jamie Noble pinned Sakoda. Second Fall : Flying elbow from Scotty 2 Hotty. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Tajiri is down. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Tajiri counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Brutal suplex on Scotty. Scotty 2 Hotty is in trouble. Kick Of Death! 1....2....3. Third Fall : Flying elbow from Shannon Moore. Weird kick by Shannon on Carlito. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Carlito ducks a clothesline attempt. Flying knee to the face from Carlito. Japanese marks everywhere cream themselves as someone uses a Shining Wizard....it's only a knee for crying out loud! Shannon Moore gets knocked to the ground by Carlito. Shannon Moore gets locked in the Inverted Figure Four! Submission victory! Fourth Fall : Legsweep. There's probably a Japanese name for that....like Golden Dragon Nuclear Spike....that'll do, i'll call it that from now on. I missed what happened for a few minutes as i went to get a beer...i'm going to take an educated guess and say that Bruiser Brody made a stunning return and beat everyone up, then left. I'm sticking with that story until proven wrong. 1 - 2 - kick out. Rico kicks Jamie Noble in the gut to reverse the momentum. DDT from the top rope by Rico....holy crap, that was sweet. Rico moves in for the kill. Spinning Leg Lariat!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Fifth Fall : Second rope flying axe handle, London goes down. Spinning kicky move by Akio on London. 1 - 2 - kick out. Paul London ducks a clothesline attempt. Back heel kick off the second rope, Akio goes down. Akio gets knocked to the ground by London, who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Through the air, London Calling! 1....2....3. Sixth Fall : Ultimo Dragon scores with a back heel kick on Carlito. DDT by Ultimo Dragon. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Carlito counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Carlito face jams Ultimo Dragon. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Ultimo Dragon reverses a hip toss. Weird kick by Ultimo on Carlito. 1 - 2 - 3. Ultimo Dragon pinned Carlito. Seventh Fall : Kick from Rico...to the leg! Oh the humanity! Second rope flying axe handle, London goes down. 1 - 2 - kick out. London counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Cool looking suplex on Rico. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Rico counters a backdrop with a kick to the face. Super frankenthingy on London, who hit hard. 1 - 2 - 3. Rico defeats London. Eighth Fall : Rico uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Super kick by Rico. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Ultimo Dragon, like so many teenage boys, uses a right hand. Except in this case, it's for a punch. Back heel kick off the second rope, Rico goes down. Ultimo Dragon moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Asai DDT. 1....2...3, it's finished. Final Fall : Ultimo Dragon hits a rolling kick on Tajiri. Ultimo crushes Tajiri with a running butt smash...nothing says 'killer move' like driving your ass into someone else's face. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. DDT from the top rope by Ultimo Dragon....holy crap, that was sweet. Tajiri elbows Ultimo Dragon in the face to break a hammerlock. DDT by Tajiri. Tajiri moves in for the kill. Spinning Kick! 1....2....3.

Sole Survivor: Tajiri
Overall Rating: 73%
Crowd Reaction: 65%
Match Quality: 82%

The WWE Divas are out next for the second Survivor Series exhibition before the actual Series matches begin. WWE Champion Trish Stratus brought Nidia over from SmackDown to help her team against the top five challengers from RAW.

Survivor Series Match - Ivory, Lita, Nidia, Stacy Keibler, and Trish Stratus vs. Gail Kim, Jazz, Miss Jackie, Molly Holly, and Victoria

First Fall : Stacy receives some unexciting punishment. I'm not sure this stuff is watchable without alcohol...and i don't feel like finding out. Jazz uses a neckbreaker on Stacy. 1 - 2 - kick out. Stacy counters a sleeper hold by turning it into a jaw breaker. Stacy Keibler scores with a awesomely-bad looking standing spinebuster. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Stacy Keibler misses a big legdrop and lands ASS-FIRST on the mat. Jazz hits a bulldog off the ropes. 1 - 2 - 3. Jazz pinned Stacy. Second Fall : Molly hits a quick kick on Nidia. Molly hits a dropkick on Nidia. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Nidia backdrops Molly Holly out of a piledriver attempt. Nidia with a kick to the head. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Molly Holly elbows Nidia in the face to break a hammerlock. Back heel kick from Molly on Nidia. 1 - 2 - 3. Molly defeats Nidia. Third Fall : Throat thrust from Jackie. Hah, even i could do that. Messed up bodyslam by Jackie. 1 - 2 - kick out. Lita fights out of a grapple. Flying knee to the face from Lita. Japanese marks everywhere cream themselves as someone uses a Shining Wizard....it's only a knee for crying out loud! Lita climbs to the top turnbuckle as Miss Jackie is stunned. Litacarana! 1....2....3. Fourth Fall : Molly Holly arm drags Ivory over. SMELL THE RATINGS. Flying elbow off the top rope by Molly Holly. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Ivory kicks Molly Holly in the gut to reverse the momentum. Face-first suplex from Ivory, but not done well. Molly Holly can barely stand. Here it comes - Samoan Driver. 1....2...3, it's finished. Fifth Fall : Weak slam from Ivory. Ivory hits a headlocky thing off the ropes. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Kim blocks a suplex attempt using the power of gravity. Flying knee to the face from Gail Kim. Japanese marks everywhere cream themselves as someone uses a Shining Wizard....it's only a knee for crying out loud! Ivory is in trouble. Standing Rana!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Sixth Fall : Trish Stratus strikes Jazz. Trish Stratus strikes Jazz. 1 - 2 - shoulder up. Jazz reverses a Trish Stratus hammerlock. Jazz turns Trish inside-out with a clothesline. 1 - 2 - 2.999 Trish counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Trish Stratus DDTs Jazz. 1 - 2 - 3. Trish Stratus pinned Jazz. Seventh Fall : Lita hits an arm drag on Kim. Lita hits a high kick on Gail Kim. 1 - 2 - no 3 though. Gail Kim elbows Lita in the face to break a hammerlock. Flying knee to the face from Gail Kim. Japanese marks everywhere cream themselves as someone uses a Shining Wizard....it's only a knee for crying out loud! Gail Kim climbs to the top turnbuckle as Lita is stunned. Diving Rana!!! 1....2....3!! It's all over. Eighth Fall : Trish Stratus uses a neckbreaker on Kim. Trish Stratus hits a bulldog off the ropes. 1 - 2 - almost a 3. Sloppy tornado punch from Trish Stratus...maybe that's a clue that Kerry Von Erich is going to run in...but probably not. Gail Kim reverses a hip toss. Kim hits a dropkick on Trish Stratus. Trish Stratus can barely stand. Standing Rana! 1....2....3.

Survivors: Gail Kim and Victoria
Overall Rating: 67%
Crowd Reaction: 74%
Match Quality: 51%