President of Freedonia
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I tried to book it with a ton of big names returning to Raw for one night only, so I did use Arsenic a bit to make this event possible. There was a last second change to the battle royal…I actually managed to find The Goon in the game, I thought he had retired. He has taken the place of Bob Backlund (who remains a non-wrestler even when using Arsenic no matter what due to working an Open deal with TNA). I like to challenge myself, so it’ll be interesting to see if I lose money or something by using all these guys on open deals. Also, I’m sure emotions will run rampant once I start releasing the battle royal people.
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After the opening pyrotechnics, none other than Howard Finkel was in the ring to welcome everyone to the 15th Anniversary of Raw and to introduce the participants for the opening contest.
Segment 1: 20 Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal with the Winner receiving a RAW Contract
This match saw many faces of Raw’s past returning hoping to get a contract – Al Snow, Bart Gunn, Doink the Clown, Repo Man, Steve Blackman, The Mean Street Posse (Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs), Barry Horowitz, The Goon, Rico, Planet Stasiak, Flash Funk, Gangrel, Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty, Grandmaster Sexay, and Rikishi), Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, Kurrgan from the Oddities, and the man called Gillberg.
All 19 men stood opposite Gillberg. When the bell rung, Barry Horowitz and Planet Stasiak were the first to charge, and Gillberg ducked, sending both perennial losers out. Apparently viewing him as a threat, the other 16 participants all swarmed Gillberg and eliminated him. The Goon soon met his fate at the hands of Neidhart, while Bart Gunn eliminated Doink the Clown. The Posse nearly eliminated Rikishi, but in typical fashion they started bickering amongst themselves as to who would actually push him out to be credited with the elimination. This enabled Scotty to sneak up on Rodney and Sexay to sneak up on Abs, while Rikishi took care of Pete.
Repo Man tried to take Gangrel’s goblet and got eliminated for his troubles. Rico and Flash Funk nearly eliminated each other in one corner of the ring until the huge Kurrgan knocked both out. Gangrel got shelved by Anvil before Anvil himself was taken out by Rikishi. Bart Gunn got double teamed by Scotty and Sexay and he was eliminated. 6 men remained: Too Cool, Kurrgan, Steve Blackman, and Al Snow.
Too Cool called for a truce…and suddenly their music started playing and all 6 men danced. Kurrgan finally had enough and booted Rikishi in the face, sparking a 5 man rally to eliminate him (including Scotty and Sexay…revenge for the 2000 Rumble I suppose). Then Kurrgan got bundled out by the 4 guys left. Blackman kicked Scotty in the face and chucked him as Snow whacked Sexay with Head, sending him out. Blackman charged Snow, and a double clothesline sent both men out as they landed on the floor simultaneously. Both men were announced as winners, but who will get the Raw contract???
Segment 2: McMahon Family Portrait
Finally feeling as though he has stability in his life, Mr. McMahon decided to hold a family portrait with his immediate and “extended family”: Linda, Shane, Steph...plus illegitimate son Stevie McMahon as well as the rest of the Corporation. Orton and Cena hyped their matches for the Armageddon, plus Mr. Kennedy announced that he would be holding an open challenge at Armageddon.
However, Mick Foley (in his Mankind gear) came out and claimed that he should be in the portrait, because at one point, he did consider Vince “dad”. Sorta like in real life…Vince was humiliated as Mick brought out countless divas, Bastion Booger, the Godfather, and others. Finally Vince had enough and told Mick that he’d be facing Stevie and Kennedy. Mick said he figured that would happen and so he found a partner Vince knows quite well. *glass shatters* *Vince gets Stunned*
Segment 3: Mr. Kennedy and Stevie McMahon vs. Mick Foley and Stone Cold Steve Austin
For the sake of realism, I picture Mick being in the match the majority of the time…however, Austin does come in to do some brawling and ultimately wins after hitting Stevie with a Stunner.
Segment 4: Santino Interview
Santino gets into the ring and gloats as only he can. He claims that he’s the future of Raw (despite continually being on the losing end). And he challenged any so-called “Raw returnees” to a match.
Segment 5: Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown
Smackdown superstar D’Lo Brown (a man with many Raw memories himself) answered the challenge. Pretty basic match ending with a Lo Down and Sky High…and Santino once again finds himself on the losing end.
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