"if the best is a 10 and the worst is 1 where does this rank"

might be a 2 or 3 at most

Jingle all the Way meets Iron Man

Age of Ultron was decent enough, Civil War was pretty damned good. Ant Man cracks me up. Paul Rudd stole the whole movie for me.

Ant Man was glorious. I don't often laugh out loud while watching a movie, but I did during that train fight.

Sorry I wrote that badly, I meant Ant Man stole Civil War for me. The whole character portrayal is quality though. I pissed myself laughing when he turned huge.

Fair enough. Paul Rudd is always good. Unless he's on Friends.

Nymphomaniac - 1.5/4

Lars Von Trier is a gross person with a horrendous sense of self importance. I find it hard to watch his films, even the admittedly stunning Melancholia will rip the guts out of you and leave you feeling lost.
Nymphomaniac is four hours of porn which is mostly angry, violent, sad and off-putting. I find Charlotte Gainsbourg pretentious and utterly soulless as an actress, I think this is mostly due to her relentlessly exhausting roles in films like this. She is good at playing empty, ruined humans because I get the feeling that she is one.

No matter how well this screenplay was filmed it would have bored or off put me as a viewer. This was a big waste of time and the antithesis of the sort of film I go out of my way to watch.

I think I am done with Von Trier now. AntiChrist, Dogville and Nymphomaniac are unusually bad films and they seem to have been made that way on purpose.

I suppose it's a case of it does what it says on the tin, but who wants to buy a tin of shit?

The Death Of Stalin 3.5/4

Steve Buscemi, Jason Isaacs and Jeffrey Tambor are completely glorious in this film. I have a huge respect to anyone who films a film about the Soviet Union using a heavy Yorkshire accent.
It's the perfect cross between serious and silly in that it is very silly and just serious enough that you delight in a baddies come-uppance and yet laugh at how grotesque he is. There are some truly hilarious moments in this film. A very funny comedy with an appropriately heavy dose of reality running through its veins.

I thought the twist in Iron Man 3 was really good, and Kingsley as Trevor was hilarious. The problem was that his Mandarin was fucking amazing, so it didn't matter how good the twist was. It was just disappointing in the end that he wasn't really the villain.

Mandarin was the only thing i liked about it and everyone else hated it...

I still hadn't seen it but at least now I know the twist.

Moviepass #59 Bad Samaritan 9/10 One of the 5 best movies Ive seen with MP.

Never heard of it. Why so good?

Avengers: Infinity War 9.5/10

I'm leaving the other .5 for hopefully an even more awesome Avengers 4.

Wind River - 4/4

A third triumph for Taylor Sheridan as an example of character building in a story peppered with graphic, vivid violence amidst a conundrum-steeped, overtly taut atmosphere.
Taylor Sheridan has one of the most enviable track records as a beginner screenwriter that anyone could ever hope for. Sicario, Hell Or High Water and Wind River are three extremely well developed stories with such strength of tone that it will be easy to tell a Taylor Sheridan film by style of performance alone now. In every one of these films he sets up an impossible tense situation which somehow avoids predictability despite the story's progress leaving little option for formulaic deviance and which so far has remained absolutely surprising, impactful and performed with the kind of respect and love for film making that reminds you how good acting can be when it's done in an environment where the storytelling is what matters the most.
Jeremy Renner gives a restrained performance as a hunter/tracker which reveals a side to his acting that so far has only been shown in glimpses and flashes. He is extremely likeable and sympathetic here and alongside the conspicuously beautiful yet clearly powerful, adept and slightly out of her comfort zone FBI agent Elizabeth Olsen you are given the basis of a film that seemingly lives and moves on its own.
The whole landscape becomes a character in its exposure outside the confines of trailers or homes in the expansive Wyoming wild. It's an absolutely beautifully shot film, the scenery may as well be a character the impact it has on the film and it is expertly utilised every time the characters take one step outdoors.
Let that be a lesson to other film makers right now, if you are going to shoot in a beautiful landcape then try to use it as much as possible without detracting from the tale you are telling.

The story is exceptionally bleak, a tale of unnecessary death and suffering in a place determined to afford you as little comfort as possible.


Taylor Sheridan has made three masterpieces, each one a unique tribute to a style of film making that people try to copy but often fail. This film is not flippant or glib about the topic which it discusses and it has a truly brilliantly done scene which removes all sexuality from sexual violence and renders a sane strong person cold and hateful.

Watch this film if you have not already.

It's on Netflix and I have an afternoon to kill so im gonna watch.

Damn.

4/4 confirmed.

A Quiet Place - 5.7/10. Would've worked better as a black mirror episode, shaving off a good thirty minutes of blah. Had some good scenes. Some of the beats in the movie were a little too obvious perhaps. Plenty of enjoyable moments with in the movie still though.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle 7/10

Karen Gillan was looking extra fine in that film.

Moviepass #60 Tully 6/10 has a weird twist that ruins the movie I think or at least not what I was expecting

Showtime sucks save for a couple of shows. Their movie selection is pretty terrible but I went looking for Sicario and/or Hell or High Water since SOB mentioned those above and lo and behold, Showtime actually has Hell or High Water.

Hell or High Water - 4/4

Atomic Blonde - 7.5/10

Might just be because I'm tired, but sometimes the plot felt a bit all over the place. Overall I liked the tone and style.

Also gained major points for a pretty sweet "one shot" sequence.

How good was the oner. I will legit watch a movie for a good oner

I would recommend it. You can tell there are cuts in it, but it is still pretty good..... some brutal "realistic" fighting

Hell Or High Water is my favourite and Sicario will blow you away man. God damn Benicio is magnificent in it.

The Hateful 8: 6/10

Rewatch the scene where Kurt Russell breaks the guitar and look at Jennifer Jason Leigh's face. That guitar was a real antique.

There's a great one in "Knowing" - a personal favorite movie of mine. Some people didn't like it but I think it's just because it's a Nick Cage movie. Loved it and so did Roger Ebert, actually.

Fyi, no musical numbers.

What's a "oner"?

Knowing was great until the ending.

One big long sequence.

Oh. The Raid 2 is a two hour long "oner" then.

The Protector has one of the best Oners ever. My fav martial arts movie, coincidentally.

Also, not a movie, but the new God of War is one continuous shot through the whole game.

Spring - 10/10


One of the best horror films I've seen in a long time.

That the one about the Slinky that goes on a methodical, rhythmic downhill murder spree?

You know, like how some movies have oners.

A oner is a shot with no cuts. The action sequences in children of men were all oners...outstanding stuff

I was almost hooked but you lost me at the finish

Infinity War: 9/10

London Has Fallen - 4 out of 5

Moviepass #61 Breaking In - 6/10 was better than what I had heard but not by much

Sorry for not reviewing any lately, I was thinking about reviewing Jumanji or War For The Planet Of The Apes but I need a few shit film reviews to show I am watching many films rather than just handing out full marks based on hype.

FYI Jumanji & WFPA = 3.5/4

Emotional involvement makes CGI more relatable.

I know. I will review This Means War.

Nothing shows critical range like reviewing a badly received, five year old rom-com.

IM WAITING

I'm about to ffs, I need to watch the fucking thing first.

I'll give you 90 min and not a second more

I couldn't change my socks in that time

Trailers/previews on This Is War include Chronicle and We Bough A Zoo.

Chronicle had a fucking great trailer.

We bought a zoo liked like a financial bomb and lived up to the expectations

Scarlett Johansson sucks so it would be right to blame her.

Filmed to make women wet for Hard Pine.

Pine is a soft wood, but not me, not now.


Ugh this movie is awful.

Ah shit, at the 1hour 13minute mark Tom Hardy and Chris Pine made me laugh in an otherwise painfully jagged turd of a picture.

The exchange was very funny.

Hardy: You have very gentle hands, don't you?
Pine: Strong hands
Hardy: Gentle hands
Pine: Strong hands
Hardy: Gentle hands. It's like holding a salmon.

1/4

Also, I never understood how people consider her beautiful. I mean, sure, that's a nice bod and all, but there's something going on with her face. She looks slightly retarded, as in not full-blown Down's syndrome, but like maybe half a chromosome extra.

I'd still tap that, of course.

Avengers: Infinity War - 5/5

Just.......whoa.

A Quiet Place - 8/10

Emily Blunt and Jim were excellent. There was a scene in particular that scared the life out of me.

Super Troopers 2 / Wet Hot American Summer (followed by the Netflix series)

They were stupid and hilarious.

Isle of Dogs - 8/10

I am a Wes Anderson fanboy. Loved it.

Beirut - 6/10

Ready Player One - 7/10

Had a blast with this one. Not a lot to complain.

Blockers - 6/10

Thought it'd be funnier. Cena was adorable.

Avengers: Infinity Wars - 7/10

Right in the feels. Avoided all spoilers prior to the viewing.

October (Hindi) - 7/10

Tiger Hunter - 4/10

Abed was adorable.

The Lobster* - 6/10

Batman Ninja - 6/10

Call Me By Your Name - 7/10

Quite overwhelming. Not sure why it wasn't a big deal that Timothée Chalamet's character was seventeen.

Stranger Than Fiction - 8/10

Now amongst my favorite Will Ferrel movies of all time.

Who the fuck is Emily Blunt?

I see that name all the time, but never bother to google her cause her name makes me think she's not hot at all for some reason.

She's English and a good actress. And her American accent is spot on.

And she's hot.

John Wick-8/10

Great action revenge movie. I love how hype they get him before he even lays a hand on anyone. The car chase at the end was really creative. Loved it. And loved his motive. Gonna watch part 2 today.

The Fish-Banging Movie 6.5/10

Moviepass #62 Overboard 2018 - 4/10 couldn't stand the Mexican dude.

Mission Imposible-7/10

Cool little espionage movie with visuals that still hold up.

Mission Imposible 2-6/10
Not as intriguing as the first, but fun action and great cleavage from Thandie Newton in her prime.

Deadpool 2 - 7/10

Black Panther: 7/10

Man, John Woo films seem so dated now; MI:2 definitely hasn't aged well.

Deadpool 2 - 7/10

A lot of fun along with terrible CGI. Blink and you’ll miss the cameos.

The Hitman's Bodyguard 6/10

Before I Fall - 3.5 out of 4

Really surprised me how good (great?) this was. Thought I was just gonna kill time but really got wrapped up in it.

Did you watch "Happy Death Day" and think "Golly, I love the Groundhog's Day-esque premise, but the movie sucked?" Well, this is what you were looking for. No camp like Death Day was shooting for, this is straight drama. Zoey Deutch is great as the lead in a role that could have just been a generic teeny role. I actually started to like her and got invested in the character which I didn't expect at all.

I know some of you might see this and think its just "ok" which is fine, but this is one of the more surprising likes I've had in a while. Going to check out any other stuff the people involved in this movie put together. They did a terrific job.

Deadpool 2 - 9/10

Funnier, equally dirty, crazier action scenes, some big surprises, awesome new additions to the Deadpool films in Domino and Cable and possibly the best post credits scene ever

Deadpool 2 - 3.5/5

I think the first was better. Quite impressed with Zasie Beats.

Deadpool 2

Very good movie

6 ninja stars in prime condition out of a possible 7 ninja stars in prime condition.

End credit scenes were spectacular. Definitely looking for to part 3.

Deadpool 2- 7/10

Really enjoyed it

Deadpool 2: 8/10

All The Money In The World - 8/10

Crazy (mostly) true story.

Moviepass #63 Deadpool 2 -7/10

First was better but this was ok

I Tonya - 4 out of 5 soundtrack really helped this one
Why him 2 out of 5... not the worst thing I've seen.. KISS music and cameo helped

Mission Imposible 3: 8/10
Really fucking good. Loved Philip Seymour Hoffman in this. Was the best one to this point.

Mission Imposible 4: 8/10
Back to back greats. Not as definite a villain, but it was great nonetheless.

Deadpool 2: 8/10
Great action, overall hilarious and the best end credits scenes.

Deadpool 2 7.5/10
Solo 7/10

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation-8/10
Another stellar MI film. Thrilling, funny, great chase scene. And Tom Cruise is incredibly likeable in this one. I'm hoping the next installment continues the trend these movies have been on.

Solo-7/10
Fun throwaway movie. Donald Glover steals the show and the movie picks up once he's in it. There's a little surprise towards the end that I'm sure they'll expand on in a sequel. Overall a fun little heist film.

Excision: 2.5/4
Fine. Felt like it couldn't pick a lane. They really could have highlighted mental illness and the struggle with it alot more. The very end it became obvious but up until then the main character could have been viewed as anything from quirky to sociopath.

Personal Shopper - 2.5/4
I'll have forgotten about this other than the Kristen Stewert nude scenes in a week. Lot's of stuff just left unexplained and half baked. They couldn't decide if this was a horror , whodunit, or stalker movie so I guess we will just call it a psychological thriller. Yeah. That's it....

Solo - 6/10

First half is better than the Second half.
The surprise at the end of the movie also doesn't make any sense:

:yes:

Some forget you gotta tie the kids animation shows into all this now.

Solo - 7.5/10
Second half was better than the First half.

Solo

Solo

11,456,875 wookie hairs out of 15,453,678 wookie hairs.

I liked it overall. The guy playing solo just doesnt do it for me which kind of presents a problem. Bit more excited for the sequel due to the cameo at the end. Mr. Glover was great as was the mother of dragons.

Alden Ehrenreich grew on me as the movie went on.

Solo 8/10

Really liked it but didn't have high expectations after Episode 8.

The Greatest Showman 9/10

Red Sparrow - 7/10

Dunkirk....good not great 3.5/7

Solo was good. Probaly a 7/10 from me. Would have been an 8, but I just never bought the dude as Han Solo. He was still entertaining enough though.

Lots of fun little easter eggs too

War for the Planet of the Apes 7.5/10

Solo 7.5/10. Not bad, but seemed a little lacking somehow. Not as good as Rogue One.

Wind River-8/10
Cool little mystery movie

Tension. Every scene where any legacy character is in trouble lacks tension, because obviously they survive.

I've bought about 50 films in the last two weeks. 3 for £1 is hard to pass up.

Kingsman The Golden Circle may be the worst sequel to a pretty good movie that I have ever seen.
Shamefully bad. 1/4