| Vastardikai |
04-23-2015 12:02 AM |
Episode #11, and let's see...
Mark Curtis sighting!!!!
Hollywood Bob Holly is wrestling in a black singlet under pink tights with a black stripe down the sides. I'm wondering who his favorite wrestler is... :shifty: You can tell it's 1992, because part of his gimmick is claiming that he's dating Julia Roberts. He beats Ben Jordan, whose amazing mullet couldn't protect him from the Star Drop, which is a top rope knee drop this week. Last time it was a Missile Dropkick.
Next up is a promo from the Koloffs, Ivan and Vladamir (aka Not-Nikita). Ivan promos on how they want to take on the Fantastics.
They have their vignette for teaming up with local groups for shows. The background shows action from the first couple of shows. Sometimes, you'll see the same action three or four times in a row.
Bullet Bob, with an ugly stripped shirt and a clip-on tie, makes an announcement. They moved back the Volunteer Slam, the event where they crown their first World Champion, one week. He claims it's due to Japanese requests to see the show (the representative earlier was Wally Yamaguci (sp?), who would go on to attempt to choppy choppy Val Venis' pee pee.) They added the Tag Tournament final. He then declares that the Piledriver is illegal, which might piss off Paul Orndorff.
They did a local spot with the Fantastics, White Lightning, and Prime Time. The Four Horsemen of Blonde Mullets. Horner is rocking some Zebra Zubaz. I don't know where Bobby Fulton found his shirt, but he should have left it there. Jackie's purple shirt is somewhat better.
"Nitro" Danny Davis and "Jumping" Joey Maggs vs. the Koloffs (Ivan and not Nikita). Danny looks like he stole the Haku's tights. I think Haku responded by ripping off his mullet. Joey's mullet is kind of there. Mantell calls Davis and Maggs a "Rag Tag Team." Maggs botches a leapfrog on Not Nikita and falls out of the ring. At one point, Ivan Koloff was knawing on Maggs' face. I guess he had some bath salts earlier. After some interference from the Fantastics, the Koloffs are defeated. Well, at least Joey can say he won a match!
Before the vignette (again), they ask How Dirty can the White Boy get. I'm sure cleaning toilets while showing us his crack is pretty damned Dirty. They show a replay of the first televised confrontation between Lee and DWB, while that kindly old man Mr. Ron Wight watches helplessly. And before the match that I missed due to the video not having it, we see a solid chair shot across Prime Time's back from DWB. Fortunately, the ridiculous looking Kentucky Waterfall that Brian Lee had back then shielded most of the impact.
We find out that Mr. Ron Wright was unjustly fined $500 for the attack perpetrated by Dirty White Boy. An attack that the kind old crippled man had no part in. He had to switch to generic heart medicine, that no good Bob Armstrong! But fret not, He's got DWB running the streets and back alleys in preparation for the Volunteer Slam, stomping dogs and anyone he comes across. Mr. Ron Wright is a good and charitable man, he's more proactive in controlling the pet population than Bob Barker ever was.
We get the Vignette for the third time. Then a promo featuring three of the wild cards, Dixie Dy-No-MitebeScott, Hector Guerrero, and Paul Orndorff. Paul is off to one side, Dixie and Hector on the other. That's kind of foreboding, is it not? Dixie's mic skills are almost as good as any other member of his family that isn't named Brian. When it comes to talking, Hector sure ain't Eddie. Mr. Wonderful isn't happy about being a Wild Card. He's downright insulted. It's bad enough that his piledriver is banned in SMW. Paul is turning heel.
This leads to Hector vs. Orndorff, elimination match. Paul opens up with an impromptu Spanish lesson, the nature of the lesson earns him a fan in Glenn Beck. Hector does really good in the early going, flustering Mr. Wonderful. However, Paul is one of the greats, he starts taking over with the intensity that he's known for. Hector, comes back but a countered crossbody and handful of tights gives the win to Mr. Wonderful. Hector complains, but Orndorff cheap shots him. He then decides that now is a good time to protest the banning of the piledriver. Hector is the first victim. Then Ben Jordan. Then Reno Riggins. And finally, "Jumping" Joey Maggs. He grabs a chair, someone is going to get #5.... Hector gets it on the chair. Dixie comes out to check on Hector and Paul decides he's done.
Fourth time showing the vignette. Then out comes the Batton Twins, Bart and Brad. They come out to "Double Vision." Cute. They wear orange and have black full beards and mullets. Out comes Jim Cornette, as "Time" by Pink Floyd plays. He announces that he got the Greatest Tag Team in the Universe... the Heavenly Bodies!!!
Out they come, and what a sight it is! "Frankenstein" is blasting over the low rent PA System. Caudle and Mantel are amazed at who the team is. Several women in the front row spontaneously get pregnant at the sight of "Sweet" Stan Lane and "Dr." Tom Pritchard. We get word that "Bullet Bob" is livid at Orndorff and Hector is on his way to the hospital with numbness in his right arm. The match itself is pretty good, The Battons are a decent team, but not up to the par of the Heavenly Bodies. Lane and Pritchard have to carry these nobodies to a decent match before finally putting them away when Pritchard backdrops one of them into a gutwrench suplex by Lane.
There's a brief series of promos from the heels for Chattanooga. Mantell doesn't think much of the town or its residents, who have Summer Teeth. You know, Summer there and summer not. Next up is Jimmy Golden. Who talks of his success in Chattanooga. Caudle then speaks to that wonderful Christian Gentleman Mr. Ron Wright. He likes the town and the fans. And he talks up his history before his unfortunate accident that left him in the wheelchair. He then says he's going to lead his charge DWB to victory.
We close out with a Heavenly Bodies promo, starting with Jim Cornette. They've beaten every man with beating and had every woman worth having. Tom Pritchard then declares that they're not here for the weather, the women, or their health. They're in SMW for Titles and Money. And he justified his paycheck with that promo. Meanwhile, Stan Lane stands there and figures out how many ring rats he's going to bed after the show. The answer, if you're wondering, is all of them.
Final Mullet Count: This is the early '90s in East Tennessee, there isn't a number that large that would announce this.
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