Creed III - 7.5/10

Lost a point for Mauro Ranallo saying MAMMA MIA, but gained a point for Todd Grisham appearance.

Was "worried" about this movie, especially after watching the first two movies again last week and thinking "I only care about this character in relation to Rocky"

Worries were "a bit" warranted and found I struggled to "get into" Creed as a character on his own.... but the antagonist and story was pretty good and "unusually" fleshed out for a Rocky/Creed movie. So all that "together" got me into it even without Rocky

Cool style in the fights in this movie too... though things get pretty weird in the final fight.

there's something about seeing old arena footage in NYC that makes me feel displaced man. It's a feeling I cannot reconcile and unlike any other feeling I've experienced in my life. I can very clearly see images of the city, in that timeline, and yet I've never been.


This bugs me sometimes. Im probably just broken.

Something in The Dirt - 2/10. Was promising at first and had an interesting concept ant I'd have probably given it like a 5 or 6 but fuck the ending is turrible. The last 15 mins or so can go eat a bag of dicks. Movie itself is kind of a mix of "found footage" (kinda, I guess), dramatizations, and recounting of events filmed like they are making a documentary. Like I said it was an interesting concept the way they did it, and the story, while cliche for the topic, didn't focus on one of the usual conspiracies/secret societies that most movies like this do. It was it's own thing for sure. But again, the last 15 mins made the whole thing blow. Don't watch this unless you want to be angry and confused all at the same time. Oh, and one of the co-leads is a fucking dick. A crooked smelly cheese encrusted dick.

2067 - 3/10. Meh. There's nothing here that hasn't been done way better elsewhere but it has it's moments. The problem is the lead can get very annoying, but I think it's written that way so he's doing what he's supposed to. It's just....bad sometimes. I dunno. I didn't feel like I wasted my time watching it or anything but it's not something I'll recommend to someone. Probably won't remember it in a week as evidenced by the fact that having watched it...I'm like 98% sure I watched it before and thought it was meh and forgettable then too.

Dark Web: Cicada 3301 - 7.5/10. This was far better than the last 2. It was also not exactly what I was expecting. Was a fair bit comedic, one of the supporting actors was excellent, and the story went in directions I didn't see coming considering I knew what Cicada 3301 was supposed to be going in. Also pulled a few twists that were completely out of nowhere in a good way. Glad they took liberty with it and made it their own. I'll probably watch this again. Was a good time.

“The Gentlemen” - 2.5/4

Guy Ritchie with yet another home-soil gangster flick. He knows the routine by now, so do we. I’d say his casting in this was pretty woeful besides McConaughey so it doesn’t quite get the 3/4 a good Guy Ritchie film deserves. I wasn’t enamoured by the Hugh Grant movie gimmick either, it’s like pretension for thick people and it reminds me of that awful film he did with Andre 3000 and Jason Statham. The action and humour were typically well staged though so I can’t grumble too much.

Irresistible- 2/4

Political comedies are never very funny so I’m not sure why I watched it. It was told from the wrong side. The film should have followed Chris Cooper not Steve Carell.

I’m claiming this as a righteous kill.

The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance - 3.5/4

James Stewart playing a perfect role, John Wayne the same. Lee Marvin was always better as a villain and he has Strother Martin and Lee Van Cleef backing him up so the characters are all very typical, but the way the acting flits between drama and comedy is excellent and the pacing of the storyline keeps the performances at a peak.
I had my reservations when I saw how highly it was rated because I almost never agree but this time I have to say it’s one of the best Westerns without having any graphic violence. The plot pacing throws your guesses off too but all in all it is fairly predictable, it may have the best double bluff of all time in it though.
There are several huge lines in it that pervade pop-culture to this day, a couple caught me off guard and I don’t like spoiling those things so if you are yet to see it then take the next chance you get.

Scream VI - I give it a severed thumbs up.

Actually glad Sidney is not in this one, got to know the characters from the last film better and the story didn't have to be anchored to Sid. Good opening kill scene and definitely the bloodiest Scream so far. However, not my favorite Ghostie.

Bad Day At Black Rock - 3.5/4

I wasn’t looking for a classic but I settled on this because I mistook it for a period Western when it’s actually set straight after WW2. It’s a tightly packed drama with an open mystery so you spend 80 minutes wondering if/when the nefarious townsmen will take out Spencer Tracy. I enjoyed it for the performances and what would have been an all-star cast back in the fifties. There is some very poor violence in it… I think even Spencer Tracy and Ernest Borgnine could put on a better fight than that if push came to shove.
Borgnine was a big bastard back then, he would probably have hurt anybody let alone an old man called Tracy.

Actors had crazy real names back then…

Creed 3

7.6/10

Even if I wanted to watch Creed 3 I couldn’t do it purely on principle.
I hope Michael B Jordan falls off faster than Tommy Morrison.

The Scalphunters - 4/4

An unappreciated comedy masterpiece in dark Western sheep’s clothing. It’s actually very well balanced between drama, comedy and Western which should have been harder to do given the storyline but that’s good writing for you. I watched it because it looked like a slightly more intelligent, less questionable Western and it turned out to be an early version of 48 Hours, in fact there is a case to be made for it providing inspiration at least. There are a lot of great lines and the racial element mixes with the fairly overt social commentary to create a self-aware but still boisterous comedy that doesn’t pander. It’s an honest film, even in the practical effects and stunts it’s all good and clean.
Burt Lancaster opposite Ossie Davis as leads, Telly Savalas and Shelley Winters in support. The acting is natural but glossier, so it plays like a really well put together B movie long before Tarantino came around.

I enjoyed it so much I’ll watch it again soon.

Luther: The Fallen Sun 7/10

Big fan of Luther the TV series. This is Luther the Hollywood remake but with the same lead, ludicrously over the top and Andy Serkis is a barely believable villain. A decent watch though.

Luther was amazing for three seasons, that Ruth Wilson chemistry was crazy.

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - 6/10


Its shot really well but nihilism is about as interesting as a religious film about finding atheism...maybe that last one could work as a comedy... any way if your films point is nothing matters you should be able to get that across in less than 150 minutes. Not giving a shit is easy. Making people care is the craft. Its REALLY well shot though.

^

That's the only thing that kept me watching; how it was shot. Lots of continuous shots.

There were two action sequences that were SUPER good visually

The Shape of Water (2017) - 6/10

I typically love Del Toro by my Spider-sense told me to avoid this. Finally gave it a go. The script has all the problems modern writings have and its that it tells you everything.

Its a fairytale so its not like the story beats are supposed to be catching anyone off guard. It should be predictable. Fairytales arent about the ending. We know there are only two endings. A kiss or a coffin. In a fairytale we march through the acts waiting for the answer to that choice.

No what it tells you is its opinions. Good art is subjective not for the sake of it but because of its versatility. It can mean more that way. It can develop layers that guide us in the future when a new problem exists that the author could have never forseen arises that the work can become a parable for.

This tells you exactly what everything represents. It vomits it at you proudly. We dont interpret this script we endure it. As stated the plot is functionally dead until the final frames and the subtext is stripped out too. It leaves us with nothing.

Fortunately while the writing may fail the cast doesnt. Everyone is great save Octavia Spencer who only has ever given one performance and only ever will give one performance.

But what keeps me overall positive about this film is color. Its through color that Del Tero has perhaps managed to pull this film up a few notches. Id need a rewatch to REALLY analyze it and i dont want to see this again for a very very long time, if ever.

The color green has immeanse subtextual relevance. Obviously The Creature is green. The labratory is green. The uniforms are green. The Cadillac is green. The antagonists candy is green. My working theory is based on what the car salesman says. "Green is the color of the future."

Again this film lazily wears its metaphor like an exoskeleton so viewing the future as progress and green thus as progress most examples become self explanatory. The Cadillac though i think is the key. When the antagonist sees it he says he doesnt like the color. That he hates green. Furthermore the scene in his home he is seen wearing yellow. His wife wearing yellow offset by green. His daughter all green. His son predominantly yellow but green poking through. Yellow being the old and progress lurking underneath. Bursting at the seams.

Taking it further his hand as it rots emits green puss. His body rejects the fingers. He rejects the green. Theres a lot more to disect there but ive written enough about a color.

Except for Red. Its the second predominantly featured color. Notably in blood and the protagonists outfit in the final scene. I have no working theory on what red is. I suspect becauase its just striking against the deep greens and its "romantic." But its worth mentioning. At the very least it *is* pretty.

But its telling that i leave a 2 hour picture and the thing i find most interesting is whats not explicitly stated...

...but it isnt all bad. Afterall it has a musical number.

Have you ever seen “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover”?

You’ll enjoy that.

Watching the Fablemans movie and it's something else. The performances are incredible.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) - 5/10


The embodiment of "fun and fine." The kind of movie that would play on the USA Network and youd come in 20 min into the film and end up leaving on the next hour and a half. If you're bored and find a free option give it a go. Some of the meta comedy is pretty good. 3rd act sucks the fun out a bit.

i have it on my coffee table. Might be a few weeks before i get around to it but im looking forward to it

i havent but thats a good title

oh and Tiffany Haddish is the worst actress ive ever seen

I thought it was a good time. The 3rd act was definitely the weakest.

This post is sponsored by Cool Hand Luke
 

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish - 3 and a half stars out of 4.

My biggest fear going into this was that I was going to find it an overrated mess as everyone and their mother around me just couldn't get off of its dong in praising it. And, yeah, it's not perfect nor the industry-changing spectacle I was expecting, but any nitpicks I found are more than made up with a ton of charm and humor and insight to where the movie can claim to wipe its ass with the entirety of the four Shrek films. Seriously, those look like amateur hour compared to what's here. I might be harsher than necessary as I've always found the original Shrek to be a boring, overrated fever dream. Things are done just so much better in this film.

It's surprisingly mature, with its exploration of Puss's character and the dilemma he faces. Sure, it loses some luster as it essentially boils down to yet another fetch quest, complete with multiple parties looking to complicate things for our protagonist, but like I said, it succeeds because of the way it's approached, with clever reimagining of these literary characters, Goldilocks in particular. The animation is so much better, too. I don't know what it is about previous Dreamworks films, but other than this movie and the How to Train Your Dragon series, I've always found the way they animated human characters to be an eye sore. Things look infinitely sharper, better, and interesting here, and the action sequences take a page out of Into the Spider-Verse to make them more fun.

Overall, fun is probably the best single word I could use to describe the whole thing. Getting through the Shrek movies has always been a chore for me, but I laughed more and was invested more here in the first 20 minutes than I can claim for those entire movies. The orphaned dog that Puss befriends alone is probably the greatest character created for the series aside from Puss himself. It's hard to find something to completely hate here.

I dont think a 5 is inherently bad. Its mediocre. Its not bad. But if you went your life never having seen it you arent missing out.

I get that.

I'm trying to watch Cocaine Bear and it seems bad. I'm 15 mins in and I don't want to watch any further.

Shazam: Fury of the Gods - 8/10

Pretty enjoyable, even if the trailer did give away way too much about it. You can tell that they thought the actor who played Billy was "too big and awkward looking" now because he was barely in the movie. Was always gonna be the problem with live action Captain Marvel.... the kid who plays Billy will always grow and that kinda ruins the "dynamic".

They definitely could have made a better/more fun sequel, especially with some of the elements they introduced in the Rock of Eternity but I enjoyed it. I'd give it a solid 7.5/10 and then add .5 for Mary Marvel's sweater melons in the final act.

I saw The Menu last night.

“The Ox-Bow Incident” - 4/4

In 75 minutes this film does what takes some films hours. It is a simple but brilliantly told morality tale which takes no tangents and stays focused on the issue. It made me think of Kitty Genovese, Rashomon and Rod Serling. I enjoyed the sincerity of the actors, it has great strength of performance to go with the basic but powerful storyline. It looks Western, it sounds Western but there are no heroes and there is no victory to be found. This is the sort of film that inspired “High Noon” which then kicked off a whole anti-western scene.

Apparently it is Clint Eastwood’s favourite film and after seeing it, that makes perfect sense. It was probably pretty high on Sergio Leone’s list too. John Wayne probably found it queer or communist.

Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania - 3/5

Probably one of Marvel's easier films to make. Just shoot a few scenes outdoors then throw the cast in a big sound stage with a big ass CGI budget and do it up.

Could have been better.

Watching only Westerns for weeks has rendered me very cynical of anybody and everybody.
“Shane”, “Johnny Guitar”, “Never Grow Old” are the best ones from before my only-Westerns period. Now I appreciate Henry Fonda, Lee Marvin and Burt Lancaster a lot more. The true hero of my experience is Randolph Scott, who in his fifties was a convincing forty year old. He couldn’t half make a B movie.

I have fallen wildly in love with Burt Lancaster though.
Possibly the most likeable man on film pre-Clooney.

I’ll be doing an “only war” period soon.

There are so many Westerns left to watch.
Literally thousands.

It's not a proper western unless Richard Widmark is in it.

No, no, no.

It's Randolph Scott.

Nobody is better than Alan Ladd in “Shane”.
It is the human version of Old Yeller.

Ah crap I always forget the kid died in real life…
Not before making “Hud” though.

I’d love to do a watch-along for “Seven Brides For Seven Brothers” with Destor.
It’s a western musical about buying wives.
Tell me I’m wrong.