I do wish it was about 65 -70 min long...it needs to shave some time off

Trying to find Knock at the Cabin online but not having luck on the sites I use so far...

I’ve just stuck “Skinamarink” on.

I will do one of my in-action reviews.
If I hate it badly enough, the juice might be worth the squeeze…

This is painfully slow already. No dialogue… just things moving slowly or not at all.

This is going to get me twitching and angry if it stays like this.

It’s filmed in some static effect.
This was made in an app wasn’t it

Cool, somebody spoke and a light turned on.
It took 9 minutes to happen.

This is bad man.
This is deliberately bad.
Or made by an autist…not auteur.

Camera angles deliberately obfuscate every occurrence, not that there are many. There’s a terrible static effect, the audio is rank and it all seems to be played as though somebody left a camera recording on the floor despite the constant scene shifting.

The dialogue is all oblique, the footage is all oblique.

It isn’t interesting, most importantly.
I am 19 minutes in.

I’m done.

I can’t watch that shit.

Well done to the creator for conning the money men into buying it. That takes the cake.

Washing my eyes and ears out with a classic Western “The Professionals”.
It will undoubtedly have lots of occurrences and dialogue, probably cost £15,000,000 instead of £15 though…. worth it.

Trying to decide which western to watch next because I am going round the big stars and trying not to focus on anybody too much. Might be back to Clint, John Wayne or Sam Peckinpah… cannot decide. I could start on the Jimmy Stewart stuff but he’s awful gangly for a cowboy.
High Noon was good, not as great as everyone says but for when it came out it had a lot of great stuff.

Hmmm

Burt Lancaster and Lee Marvin are great in The Professionals, it’s a classic pairing of tough and unforgiving matched with cool, risky and fun. I like Burt Lancaster, I should watch more of his stuff…he’s not hard to like. Lee Marvin is also great but it strikes me funny that all of these actors likely fought in at least one war so they were all a lot tougher than today’s lot.
Burt Lancaster wouldn’t be a pretty boy today. He’d be the Lee Marvin guy. Lee Marvin would have to play a baddie…

About a year ago, I watched a bunch of amatuer, found footage horror movies on youtube, hoping to find a hidden gem. There was no hidden gem. Just the worst attempts at cinema I had ever seen. Skinamirink fits right in with those abortions.

There was nothing good in the half hour I watched. Literally nothing.
When that happens you have to cut your losses. No film deserves more than half an hour to get the ball rolling.

If it was sold as maybe some sort of art experience then ok, but it’s not a movie.
Things have to move in a movie.

They don’t call them stilly’s

Once Upon a Time in the West

A fine Western. Probably the best role Charles Bronson ever had because they keep him quiet for most of it and Henry Fonda is playing evil incarnate as the antagonist. Best use of a harmonica too.
I’m watching a wide array of Westerns right now. I’m not tired of them and I doubt I ever will be. Tonight I’m going to check out:

The Outlaw Josey Wales
Rio Bravo
Any Randolph Scott film

I am due a deep dive into the Audie Murphy stuff but I am saving that so I can link it up with his War stuff. I’m still holding off on the Jimmy Stewart stuff because he’s just awful isn’t he? Jimmy Stewart is too wimpy for the genre.

Randolph Scott makes the best short westerns. Almost none of them are 90 minutes, loads are 78-80 minutes…
You can see the money was used sparingly but I will always love practical effects and every Western uses them. It’s a box that has to be ticked if you are making one.
I can’t accuse most Westerns of feeling too natural but a few of the big players always know their role. John Wayne, Randolph Scott and Henry Fonda can carry the atmosphere that the film needs, guys like Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster and Van Heflin all just play essential character roles every time. Strother Martin is always a name you want to see involved if there’s moral ambiguity. Warren Oats too, both have marvellous western faces.

Men with a purpose.

I love Westerns.

Think I have to watch “Soldier Blue” again. I remember thinking it was a bit more grown up when I saw it as a kid.

John Wayne’s last movie The Shootiest is one of the better last movies by a star you are going to see. Directed by the guy is does Dirty Harry

Also one you might like. There is some decent stuff in it, and I think it’s his only directing credit “One eyed Jacks.” Brando also stars alongside old co star buddy Karl Malden. It’s not - great movie, but I think it’s enjoyable.

“The Shootist” is one I always loved and it’s a note-perfect ending to a great career, but “One Eyed Jacks” is one I have not seen and had debated so so will stick it on my list. Is that the one with Brando in loads of disguises? If not I should stick that on the list too.

Currently interrupting my Western viewing to watch this new Alan Partridge live show “Stratagem”.
I had no idea it was a thing but it is very good.

That was great but I’m watching Josey Wales now and 20 minutes in the violence is relentless.
Classic Clint.

Sam Peckinpah is accused of gratuitous violence… it’s like they never even saw a Clint pic before or any Spaghetti western really…

They just can't make stuff like that anymore. I feel like Unforgiven was the last great western

Backrooms - 7/10

Good horror short


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Great westerns are being made to this day.

Check out “Never Grow Old”

A Man Called Otto

7.2/10

Teen Wolf: The Movie: 6.5/10

Entertaining affair if you were a fan of the Teen Drama about Supernatural. All the usual things are here. Derek getting his ass beat, Lydia being weird, Malia being a slut and Linden Ashby being the national treasure that he is.

I’ve been following the Film Theory err theories on this for months.

i just heard this brought up elsewhere last night so i watched it. this is the runtime skinamarink should have had. i also read the kid who directed it is 17 (16 when this was released), and a24 have signed him on for a feature length of this. hope it's not another skinamarink but seems likely...

If they want our nightmares for film plots they can try making my “every girl I kiss turns into a faceless dummy” nightmare into one.
I used to have that when I was a kid, one weird part was not being able to let go of anything I picked up.
I think it was puberty anxiety mixed with self control worries.

I had nightmares about Rutger Hauer terrorising me for years after I saw “The Hitcher” too.

No nightmares nowadays…used to have a recurring nightmare about my teeth all coming out into my hands, they looked like coal. Fake fireplace coal specifically. The glass stuff.

Going to watch a horror movie by Clive Barker called “Nightbreed” because I saw a bit and it looked fucking mental.

it's so fucking stupidly satisfying

Is it good? It looked pretty high value for Clive Barker. I just liked the term “Midian” because I bet that’s where the wrestler nicked it from.

And Soon, The Darkness (1970) - 6/10
Decent little who-dunnit thriller

Slaves of Satan - 8/10
I think this is the first Indonesian horror film I've seen and it was really good. Likeable characters, some great scares, and a fun twist towards the end.

Slaves of Satan: Communion - 8.5/10
Didn't quite feel like the story flowed as good as the first one, but it's better in other ways so it all evens out for me.

My dreams/possible waking hallucinations while I had covid would make great cinema.

You best write them down then

Nobody is buying a Covid dream when they could have a healthy one for the same price.

Get real Fignuts