... I didn't even realize he kissed his own hand.

Johnny Curtis awesomeness +1,000

Or you could just fuck the woman, Lock Jaw. I know you have sexual presence.

You're the Mark Henry of the vagina. "THAT'S WHAT I DO!"

Kind of want Johnny Curtis to win the 2014 Royal Rumble and challenge for the World Heavyweight Title as an obscure babyface against a heel Chris Jericho.

That isn't his real name, so no. Though they didn't even use his real name. Just constantly referred to him as Fandango.

Jericho could hire a private detective to research just who is behind Fandango, blowing the character wide open for their inevitable WrestleMania clash. Curtis could technically remain a heel for the start of the feud, and Jericho technically remain a face, but Jericho would be the antagonist in the feud, kind of implying a double-turn will eventually take place.

At Mania, Curtis manages to roll-up Jericho like he did at WrestleMania the year before and proves that he CAN defeat Jericho again. Jericho does a spot where he hands the World Title to Curtis, claps and applauds, but then kicks him right between the nuts and walks away, much like he did to Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XIX.

This sets up Curtis vs. Jericho pretty nicely for an Extreme Rules rematch, where Curtis would get the clean win and cement himself as Mr. World Heavyweight Champion.

Ah! Curtis Jonathan Hussey doesn't sound bad.

Hussey gets all the hussies.

Scott Steiner must've tallied these results.

http://i.imgur.com/fswffON.jpg

I've been thinking of ways the WWE could expand Fandango's character in recent weeks. For example, I'd love it if they revealed via one of the announcers that Fandango was present when Pat Patterson unified the North American Championship with the South American Championship and became the first Intercontinental Champion. Fandango was in Rio for that match because his parents were world famous dancers and performed at the after-show. The loser of the match, the former South American Champion -- defeated, drunk and disorderly at the show, having missed his ticket to stardom -- made a pass at Fandango's mother in front of his father and the young man himself. Fandango's father, always a proud and passionate man, took a swing at the former South American Champion. The enraged South American Champion was enraged at this, but was escorted from the premises. Fandango then realized that he has a fire in himself too, and always wanted to be Intercontinental Champion from that point.

You can use Fandango's parents being world class dancers to explain how he got all around the world as a young man, and began to learn about all different sorts of movement -- both dance and in physical competition. While they performed in Japan while Fandango was a teenager, maybe they can say he studied under a great jiu-jitsu master, or something like that.

A worked biography/autobiography by Fandango would be an incredible read.

Not at all. If you're embarrassed that it's a T-Shirt for a Diva, well, who the fuck knows what the 8th Militia is? And who's K8LYN?

Alright, going for any answers on this, boss wants to take his kid early to Target Center (where they are taping Smackdown tomorrow) and he wants to surprise his son and try to get him by the back where everyone shows up....any one with ideas?

I got none except figure that they would be at the building by at least 1-2pm cause tapings start at 6.

That whole show is scripted, son. You would think all the bad acting on that show would be a dead giveaway.

I've also heard that the relationship between Fandango and Eva Marie (or whoever he's supposed to be dating on that show) was manufactured specifically for this TV show.

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I miss "Kanye" Batista, it was the only time I cared about the character.

The Kanye Batista moment at the Slammies was terrible though.

I haven't watched the past 2 weeks what's that all about?

Amazing, all 5 of them.

People who get worked up over grammar mistakes are so much worse than people who make the mistakes.

sounds like someone's not good at grammar

I imagine it's frustrating when you get thousands of tweets at you daily with horrible grammar

My grammar's just fine. It's true that I don't get how grown adults can get through life unable to spell, but I don't see the point in flipping out on them for it each and every time.

WWE once again teasing another Cena feud/match being all about if Cena can overcome the odds or the only reason for a potential Bryan victory is because Cena was hurt.

http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2013-08...rslam-26137985

He should probably scale down his schedule for his own health.

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smackdown is next month, did they go early tonight? if so LOL

Just caught myself humming the Wyatt theme at my desk

http://www.impactwrestling.com/media...g?t=1375817286

Fuck yeah

I think you mean "Shell Yeah!!".

Seeing as how it's his elbow, which would effect him if he's in the yes/no lock, it seems like they could be giving him a reason to tap out. So everyone who has been wanting that should not complain.

SummerSlam should end one of two ways:

1. Daniel Bryan makes John Cena submit for the first time in nine years to become the new WWE Champion in epic fashion.

2. John Cena retains after Vince McMahon screws Daniel Bryan and Cena becomes the new Corporate Champion.

They're teasing the Randy Orton cash-in, but I think they'd be better off to do some sort of angle where Orton is found beaten up backstage, making a cash-in impossible, and prompting discussion as to who was behind the attack -- perhaps one of the competitors in the match? Maybe one of the dominant factions running around?

Vince screws Bryan in the title match and Cena leaves with Vince. On RAW, Vince, live via satellite, announces that there is now a 220lbs weight limit for the WWE and World Heavyweight Championships. At SummerSlam, Christian has won the World Heavyweight Title, and on SmackDown, Vince comes out to strip Christian of the belt. Captain Charisma cuts a promo talking about all the years he's busted his ass creating moments for Vince, and he's got the respect of everybody in this industry besides him. Christian says he earned the World Heavyweight Championship at SummerSlam and Vince is devaluing the championship by taking it from him. Vince just wants him to hand it over. Christian says that if he can't be the World or WWE Champion, then what does it matter if he gets fired? He then drills Vince with the World Title belt, knocking him senseless. Christian leaves the belt in the ring and walks to the back, deciding at the last second to turn around, return to the ring and Spear Vince McMahon.

This all leads to Triple H backing the smaller guys like Daniel Bryan, Christian and CM Punk against Vince McMahon's more prototypical Superstars.

Or not. Whatever.

Problem is it could also easily lead into a Punk-Cena route where the loss is seen as an excuse and not as a legitimate loss. Bryan gets his tap out moment but won't mean anything if Cena just shrugs it off as if it was nothing like he did with every Punk victory.

Yes, it would mean something if Daniel Bryan made Cena tap out any way you cut it. Like I said in another thread, people want entirely too much out of this. It's pretty cut and dry. If Daniel Bryan makes Cena tap out it would be a ridiculous moment for Bryan even if Cena has the excuse of already being injured. It's John fucking Cena. Tapping out. At SummerSlam. Bryan would look great.

They're riding the Daniel Bryan hot streak right now. Just letting Bryan win and take the title away should be enough. He's not gonna replace Cena as the face of the company from this one match regardless of the outcome. So just be happy with the win and down the road if Bryan's still blowing up and it gets time, Bryan can "take the torch" so to speak.

Honestly, I feel like they could have a great match where Bryan just won't quit and end it with Bryan reversing the STF or the AA to win the title and people would be upset because Bryan "didn't look dominant enough" and "should have made Cena tap out". That's silly. He'd cleanly beat the face of the company. That's a big deal and does amazing things for his character.

WWE has posted an image of giving John Cena a "makeunder":

http://www.wwe.com/f/wysiwyg/image/2...eunder_642.jpg

Jesus Cena

WWE being real subtle