You and your decimals

Love my decimals, son.

Dewey

Was thinking of doing a review series after watching some films I've never seen before. Only blockbusters.
Might do Harry Potter. The sheer effort though seems like it wouldn't be worth it. There are loads...

But most of them are "ok"!

I just don't know anymore, LJ. I feel like the general standard of review has increased lately, makes me feel less need to write them. I will be continuing soon though, just to see if I still can.

Edit: wrong thread

Seanny, make a YouTube series out of it.

Midsommar. Loved it.

I marathoned the harry potter movies when they were on HBO. Not a single one stood out and I can't honestly tell you what happened in any of them.

First one is worth watching for how hilariously bad the CG has aged.

Hell House LLC - 7/10

I love found footage movies. Something about the format makes it scarier to me than traditional films. The immersion I guess. Hell House is a good one.

Watching the sequel right now. Doesn't seem as good. Shit acting.

Watching Captain Marvel tonight. I dunno why I bought it really, hopefully it's decent.

I cant find the sequel on any channels or movie apps.

Is Captain Marvel supposed to be an over confident, conversationally combative douchebag?
Brie Larson was the wrong choice man, she just comes off as cunty.

This is tough to watch without thinking Brie Larson just doesn't have to presence to pull off this character with that attitude.
This is Bonfire of the Vanities level casting here.

She’s just a strong independent woman who doesn’t need your approval, man. Down with the patriarchy.

It's hard to separate the end product when your lead reeks of agenda...and foot fungus.

You're not her God, her father, or her boss!

She pulls this face every five minutes that makes her look like a little girl who has been denied pocket money. I think it's supposed to show her as an angry, no-nonsense type but it's fucking dreadful.

Aside from the badly cast lead role this film suffers from very unusual pacing especially between scenes of adventure, levity and suddenly into "emotional" scenes that leave me apathetic and completely disinterested.
The 90's references are really off, it's as though they had a list of things to achieve and somebody forgot to pop in some fun references so they just douse the soundtrack with crap and leave some questionable pop culture imagery lying around without so much as an attempt at coherency or celebration.

Just stick her in a NIN t-shirt and waste minutes of prime time with cat material.

This is worse than The Incredible Hulk so far.

This is heading into 1/4 territory.

My biggest gripe with the movie, iirc, was the forced emotional beats with the friend, who was seemingly there solely to pilot the ship in the 3rd act. It felt tacked on and had zero heft to it.

Captain Marvel looks like shit all powered up.
She looks like The Flash and The Human Torch fucked a tiny super powered offspring into existence.

I'm not paying for Endgame now. No chance.

There's a good twenty minutes wasted on tears eyed reflections and emotional bonding at around the hour mark. From then on it's in and out of emotional turmoil every few minutes.

It's awful.

Captain Marvel - 1/4

I shouldn't be mad at the end of a film. When I'm mad at the end of a film I can't really forgive it. I feel safe in saying that this is the worst film Marvel have made since this all began.

Luckily she doesn't really do much in the movie despite the "hype" of her joining the cast for that movie

She'll pull that face and say arrogant things numerous times so I think I'll just wait to see it on tv. Well done Marvel, you have successfully made a character so unlikeable that I now don't want to see how ten years of hard work turns out.

Fucking brilliant effort

I admit that she prob makes that face in the short amount of screentime she gets.

Judging by her post-Oscar attitude that is just what her face looks like now.

I liked her in her two guest appearances on Community

Ronda Rousey - and I honestly mean this - would probably have done a better job if the character is supposed to be a jerk with insane strength and a hell of a chip on her shoulder.

I only read the character when she was "Miss Marvel", and she seemed very much just generic "single-white-female-in-the-city" type.....

Well being a dick to people doesn't make a very good impression and she was just running around being a discourteous turd for most of the movie.
At least with Iron Man it's blatantly obvious and entirely acknowledged that he is a cock. I wasn't aware that Marvel needed yet another acerbic arsehole in the Avengers team when it seems like they are mostly numbered by bearers of that description.

The difference is that you are given reasons to like them. This one starts out with attitude and carries it through to the end, buffered in it's entirety by some crawlingly awful attempts at cat humour or "hey we're all dumb and weak, thank God Carol Danvers got here!" type "comedy".

It's substantially worse than every DC film too. So that's pretty impressive actually.

Maybe you just hate women

Somebody said this unironically. People get very touchy when it comes to this movie.

I'm a pretty big Brie Larson fan. I was one of the few who thought she could do this. I think a lot of blame lies at the feet of the director/s really. Somebody thought that face was a great idea... and for that I just can't forgive.

Now you're being silly. She's barely in endgame. Her role in it is minimal at best and she's certainly not a focal point. Should watch it and not let Captain Marvel deter you from doing so.

Easily one of the least enjoyable Marvel movies. I enjoyed Glass more.

Peelers- 5/10 - It was a zombie movie that takes place in a strip club that's built on top of an oil mine or something. The oil infects 4 Mexican miners. They go to the strip club. Zombie stuff happens. The movie was shot good. It wasnt shitty looking. There were titties. And there are two scenes where the strippers come out for there stage routine and they do some shit that is hilarious. One is suppose to be a baby and she's wearing a diaper and the other is called Thunder Cunt.



Other than all that, this movie wasnt great. THe kills were ok. Nothing amazing.

Toy Story 4 - 4/5

Shudder

It ended up being pretty good but not as good as the first one.

Murder Mystery - 3/4

A lovely blend of silly, well delivered gags and a continually moving plot with a typically warm atmosphere. I enjoyed this a lot because I expected so little but the Aniston/Sandler chemistry is strong and I find them both very likeable.
Everyone in this is likeable and having fun being daft but actually delivering. This isn't Grown Ups 2, The Ridiculous 6 or The Week Of and I really hope we see more of this sort of thing before Sandler is firmly rooted in the IMDB 0% club.

Bite - 7/10 - This movie is sort of like The Fly. A girl goes on her pre wedding vacation with her friends and she gets bit by a bug. She comes back and the symptoms get progressively worse and if you've seen The Fly, you know how this goes. The first 30 minutes are really slow. But after that, it gets pretty disgusting. I felt like it could have been better, but it was a fairly good movie. It was shot well. The acting was decent. It's not The Fly. Not even close. But it's good. You just gotta get past the first 30 minutes.

Terrifier- 9/10 - This might be my favorite horror slasher film of all time. This a spin off from a movie called All Hollows Eve which was an anthology horror film that was wrapped with a homocidal killer clown named Art, story line. I've seen All Hollows Eve and it was hit and miss. The first two stories were terrible and the last story was good and featured Art in it as well. Terrifier is all about Art the clown. It takes place on Halloween night. And he kills a bunch of people. Art the clown is creepy as fuck. He doesnt speak or make any noises. And he's got a tad bit of comedy too. But it's creepy comedy. I was creeped out and that's not easy. The kills in this movie are amazing. The level of gore is top notch. There's one kill in the middle of this movie that i'll never forget. At first glance the movie doesnt look pristine. It doesnt have that clean HD look. But I think that's on purpose and it works perfectly. It makes the movie even more creepier. The acting is solid also. No robotic sounding line delivery. I would of given this 10/10 as far as horror movies go, but in typical fashion, some of the characters make some really retarded choices in this movie and that shit drives me nuts. But it didnt ruin the movie for me. I really loved this film and it's going to be a must see on Halloween night every year for sure.

Watching "Insidious" for the first time. This is creepy. The pale colour scheme is extremely effective and the plot jumped quickly into the good stuff. The small setting is a Wan trademark and when Leigh Whannel popped up I was happy to see him provide a bit of comic relief.

Very cool so far.

The Lion King (2019) - 9/10

It was fun seeing this movie again with today's animation. It was slightly different than the original in terms of dialogue and it brought me back to being a kid. Lost a point due to the faces not being too expressive. It was a fun movie overall.

I'd like to hear what someone who had never seen the lion king would think about this movie

Imagine poor Jonathan Taylor Thomas having to watch his crowning achievement remade a mere 25 years later.

I wonder if the original Japanese story is any good, the one that Lion King ripped off mercilessly note for note.

I have never heard of this, but you have my interest

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kimba_the_White_Lion

You're going to sigh

Thats a suspicious amount of overlap

They had me at Kimba

You must avenge my death Kimba... I mean Simba

Kimbo Slice. RIP

I would watch Kimbo The Lion King if they made that shit. Finally a reason to be sad he's dead.

You're such a faggot, son.

Poor Dave, too sarcastic to be taken as sarcasm.

Hard to ever consider his posts sarcastic, keeping in mind his posts from the past. Gonna take a while.

Sixx, I know you’re stuck in the past but the world has moved on. The future is feminist (and non binary somehow). Get with the program.

High Tension- 8/10 - So two chicks go to one of the girls families house out in the boonies and a killer bursts in the house and starts killing the family. The gore in this movie was fantastic. I watched the unedited version. The " tension " was certainly palpable.

Towards the end of the movie, there is a huge twist that I never saw coming. I didnt pick up on it at all. On the surface, it's a great twist. But then you start thinking about everything that happened in this movie and some real questions arise. I understand that everything that happened was the account of one of the girls. And that makes a lot of things make sense once you've seen the entire movie. But there are still a few things that dont add up.

One in particular is a scene at the beginning of the movie where the killer is in his truck, skull fucking a females severed head. And then he tosses it out on the road and drives away. I dont get why this would be apart of the story. Everything was told from a eye witness account. Yet that scene could not possible be from an eye witness. So what the hell was that about?

There are a few other things that dont make sense to me. I dont know if it was clever for the movie not to have any type of cop confirm what really happened or not. For instance, the chase seen with the truck and the car. The pictures of the other girls the killer had killed on his dashboard. I feel like the movie could have been better if there was a bit more of a wrap up from the cops.

I dont know. I'm still thinking about this movie. It was good though.

Would you mind If i added some indention to that for you?

ok

Thank you

The Lion King-5/10

Just couldn't get into despite really wanting and hoping to like it. The voice performances are just flat. And, including James Earl Jones, feels and sounds like a lot of line reading.

Chiwetel Ejiofor at times is really cool/sinister as Scar. Other times he's just goofy. The photo realistic nature of the movie just didn't do it for me. And unlike the Jungle Book, where there's a human to interact with and a story that expands on the original and makes it something new, this one is pretty close to the original. You get some extra stuff, like how Scar got scarred and Sarabi's connection to Scar. But at best it's just in passing.

The fact that they can't emote I think is what really hurts. It's animals with limited facial expressions rattling off recycled dialogue in cartoonish, over the top deliveries and it didn't match for me.

Beyonce also felt really tacked on. Especially when she Beyonce'fied "Can you feel the love tonight".

Ugh. I really wanted to love this movie as its my fave Disney flick ever. But it was just bland and boring.

Change the look and the style, keep the story and the music. So you get half a remake...
They never learn.

The Jungle Book gave me hope as it was actually pretty good. Watched it with my daughter and it still holds up really well.

But it wasn't a damn near line for line and shot for shot remake. The Lion King is pretty much that.

It's like watching National Geographic and having voice doubles reading the Lion King script.

John Oliver was especially discounting as Zazoo. They should've brought back Mr. Bean.

The Lion King - 6/10

The visuals are nice, most of the voice acting is fine but it's missing heart. When you go from 80 minutes to 2 hours, extending some scenes work well and others it's more like "Oh here's Pumba with gas again". The animals aren't expressionless but they are limited. There's only so many expressions a photo-realistic Lion, Warthog, Bird, etc can have. Kids will enjoy it but it doesn't hold a candle to the original, at all.

The Art of Self-Defense - 8/10

A fun dark comedy. I figured out where it was going and a plot point during it but it didn't detract from my enjoyment.

The Commuter 6.7/10

Standard Liam Neeson faire; it loses some points for not having enough Vera Farmiga.

Hugo: 8/10

Really enjoyed it. Believe it or not, I have never seen a film by Martin Scorsese before..... also, I had no idea it was done by Martin Scorsese while watching it. Really enjoyed the style of it.

Casino and Goodfellas are phenomenal films, The Aviator and The Departed are also top class and Gangs Of New York was a solid film.

I really can't understand the love for Taxi Driver or Raging Bull though. Taxi Driver is decent enough but Raging Bull left me enraged by bullshit.

It left you a Raging Ball?

Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Departed, Casino, Goodfellas, Wolf of Wallstreet, gangs of New York.. all must see films really.

The Wolf Of Wall Street is excellent, I totally forgot about that one.

When a horror movie starts off with titties, it's more likely to be good than not. It's science.

Shazam 8/10 was really surprised by this movie. Thought it would be like a Marvel movie but the comedy wasn't that bad.

Very curious: in what way was it un-like a marvel movie?

I didn't feel like it was made for kids. Being a movie about a kid superhero I thought it would but the humor surprised me.

Interesting. I enjoyed the movie but I would have labeled it the most kid freindly super hero movie since Cloony's Batman

I bought "Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich" and "The Isle" for tonight, hopeful that "The Isle" will be good because the reviews are really solid. I have never seen the Puppetmaster films before but the cast in this one is stuffed so I thought why the Hell not?

Conleth Hill(Varys - GoT) does an admirable Scottish accent, really excellent.
Enjoying "The Isle" so far, it appears to be a mixture of Scottish folklore and the Greek myth of the Sirens.

If there's a Kelpie in this I will be delighted.

This isn't outright scary but it has a strong atmosphere of dread about it. So little is seen and so much is imagined. You have to respect a well made film with a tiny budget.
I would have named it "All Souls Lost" given the subject matter.

Christ, thank God I bought a horror comedy to chase this with. This is a draining film... makes me wish Scottish folklore was a bit more fun.

Aw what, ok I didn't see that coming at all. Great finale.

One of the actors is called Dickon Tyrrell as if having Varys in it wasn't enough of a GoT connection.

What a name.

Littlest Reich pretty shit so far.
Somebody responds to a question with "Hypothetically" when they mean "Yes, I am".
I don't think I've ever been so furious.

I suppose that could just be a very well written piece of exposition re: speaker being a moron, actually. It is written by S. Craig Zahler and he's pretty great so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt....

I'm not sure why I thought a murderous puppet movie would be worth seeing but this is truly terrible.
I laughed at a couple of things but this is crap. I feel like I'm watching an academically stunted thirteen year old boy's idea for a horror film. One he then filmed himself.

Possibly the worst film I've seen in years

Puppets on a killing spree could be fun especially with this plot. This is nothing short of crass, wasteful and completely idiotic. It's a hateful little piece of shit that tries to cover it up with a name cast and a self satisfied air of transgressive taboo-breaking under the guise of satire.
I'm pretty angry about what I see as higher budget "Warhol" film making. Don't pretend you're making a point when you're just being a dirty twat.

0/4

You should watch a movie called Stitches. It's terrible, funny as shit and bloody and gory all at the same time. It's on Netflix right now if you have that.

I think I hovered over that, is it about a clown?

Yes. The story is terrible. The acting is ok. The clown is fucking hilarious and the kills are both funny and gory as fuck. I got a kick out of it.

I'll watch it this week

Alita: Battle Angel

1 / 4

Going in I had no expectations. Reviews I remember were tepid at best but figured if Cameron wants to put his name all over it I'll give it a shot.

Waste of time.

It's just another one of these flicks that's more worried about sequel 3 and 4 rather than telling an actual coherent story that is satisfying enough to get the viewer to want more. It's a waste of two hours as there is no world building and none of the supposed mysteries are addressed let alone answered. Characters make dumb decisions, dialogue is cliche and well....there aren't any redeeming qualities here. I'm trying to come up with something nice to say but I really can't. It's not even remotely approaching "fun" bad levels like Catwoman.

What did you think of the "big reveal" at the very end?

That Ed Norton was playing Nova in a glorified cameo role? Again....looking too far down the road. Who gives a rat's ass about that?

I mean, I wasn't a fan of the movie but that reveal made me pop a little (on the inside).